I hate myself. Watch

Fazza123
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#21
Report 9 years ago
#21
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm an 18 year old Chinese guy, this is my first post here. And i just hate myself. Sometimes i lose the desire to struggle through life, the social side of things.

I am 5ft8 (short as hell i know) and stick thin. Ok, my face may be a bit above average if i tried but i look terrrible and no girls have any interest in me (i have ****** up every time). I have a little bit of a baby face look and people treat me like i'm like a child. I have a soft voice which contributes to this but i feel like i'm a different type of person trapped in my body. I hate being Chinese, i hate it. It's like no one wants to talk to me just because i don't have the cool friends and a good physique. Its so **** at how people judge me and talk to me like i'm inferior. I know i can be the alpha male if i worked at it, i want it badly man, i just want to know what it feels like to be in control of my life and to have girls think '****, that guy is cool'

I'm on two minds on what to do though. First option is to build my life in going to the gym religiously and dressing well. Or, just go down the educational route and hope everything works out. I seriously don't know. But i feel like i'm going to break down if i don't do something.
You say you have two options, why can't you do both?
You hate being chinese why? I would love to be more ethnic than just black.
At the end of the day you are who you are, and yes you can change who your appearance through gym and so forth but is that really going to help you improve your concept of self? Its not really going to cahnge who you are inside, trust me, i've tried.
You don't have to be the typical 'jock' to be cool! I know a lot of people who aren't like that and i would consider cool.
With regards to people talking to you as an inferior, only you can take control of that.
You jsut have to accept who you are, yes it won't take just over night but you can get there. TBH i cant exactly give you a step by step guide but don't hate yourself, its not going to get you far if you want to do the opposite. Take things a step at a time.
Everything gets hard at times and its up to you to think no i'm puttin a stop to this, i want things to change. You can if you believe in yourself, but the moment you let go and give up your just going to end up at square one.
Think of things that you want to achieve and work your way towards it.
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SmokeJaguar
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm an 18 year old Chinese guy, this is my first post here. And i just hate myself. Sometimes i lose the desire to struggle through life, the social side of things.

I am 5ft8 (short as hell i know) and stick thin. Ok, my face may be a bit above average if i tried but i look terrrible and no girls have any interest in me (i have ****** up every time). I have a little bit of a baby face look and people treat me like i'm like a child. I have a soft voice which contributes to this but i feel like i'm a different type of person trapped in my body. I hate being Chinese, i hate it. It's like no one wants to talk to me just because i don't have the cool friends and a good physique. Its so **** at how people judge me and talk to me like i'm inferior. I know i can be the alpha male if i worked at it, i want it badly man, i just want to know what it feels like to be in control of my life and to have girls think '****, that guy is cool'

I'm on two minds on what to do though. First option is to build my life in going to the gym religiously and dressing well. Or, just go down the educational route and hope everything works out. I seriously don't know. But i feel like i'm going to break down if i don't do something.
You joined in 1999?? when you were 8??

Anyway, here's what I would do in this situation: Write down all the things you dislike about yourself and want to change and find practical solutions. To begin with, some of your 'problems' aren't even problems e.g. 5'8" isn't even short. I'm only slightly taller than you and I don't feel short.

So anyway, you're not happy about your body? Then go to the gym. Read as much online as you can about training and diet (both are equally important) and be consistent. write out a plan over the next year with realistic goals (strength or weight goals, ones that you can actually put a number to).

You don't like your voice? I think this has a lot to do with confidence and how you carry yourself and convey yourself to other people. If you're a naturally quiet speaker, the way you hear yourself in your head is probably a lot louder than others do so just focus on speaking more confidently/loudly. Carry yourself with confidence. You can find a lot of good information online.

Also, don't use your race as an excuse for anything. And don't focus on being some 'alpha male'. People who focus on this are inevitable 'beta'. Confidence is the key. Hope all goes well my man.

oh and also acting more confidently isn't changing your personality. being confident allows you to express your true personality, instead of keeping it cramped up inside. doing things such as working out (or other things which improve your image) can make you more confident.
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Snookercraze
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#23
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#23
Education.. Education.. Education.

Don't give up mate.
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leum
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#24
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#24
chin up chinaman
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Jazmine
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Anonymous)
I go to college, but its terrible there. Deep down, i love being Chinese but my physique destroys my confidence. I have a good looking facial structure and features and thats what frustrates me, i can be good and i don't want to wait. People use to befriend me because i was the little nice guy but now i'm ignored and i know its time to change. I feel **** when in comparison to my Dad, i want to be like him, he had all the women earlier in his life, he was the typical alpha male who loved his life... yet he understands me so well but i want to prove to myself that i can be as damn good as him.
I hope college improves!!

I'm glad you love being Chinese 'cause I was just gonna big the Chinese up, ha ha. In fact, I was watching a video that teaches the Chinese language, interesting stuff.

Anyways, being really muscley, etc, isn't going to necessarily make you more attractive. I actually don't like muscle, so there you go. Loads of people out there will like you because of both your personality and the way you look. You're so young, you don't even need to impress the girls right this moment. You got your whole life to do that!

Try and do things that will help you be confident in who you are, improve what you think needs improving (go to the gym, and go to college, if that'll make you happier) and come out of your shell more, so you can show people that masculine person underneath. I bet you've got a lot to give, so show it!

I think you're probably a very decent person and that it doesn't matter if you're a beta male, rather than alpha. =D Don't need to be a tall and big muscley macho-man to get the ladies.
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