(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm an 18 year old Chinese guy, this is my first post here. And i just hate myself. Sometimes i lose the desire to struggle through life, the social side of things.
I am 5ft8 (short as hell i know) and stick thin. Ok, my face may be a bit above average if i tried but i look terrrible and no girls have any interest in me (i have ****** up every time). I have a little bit of a baby face look and people treat me like i'm like a child. I have a soft voice which contributes to this but i feel like i'm a different type of person trapped in my body. I hate being Chinese, i hate it. It's like no one wants to talk to me just because i don't have the cool friends and a good physique. Its so **** at how people judge me and talk to me like i'm inferior. I know i can be the alpha male if i worked at it, i want it badly man, i just want to know what it feels like to be in control of my life and to have girls think '****, that guy is cool'
I'm on two minds on what to do though. First option is to build my life in going to the gym religiously and dressing well. Or, just go down the educational route and hope everything works out. I seriously don't know. But i feel like i'm going to break down if i don't do something.
You say you have two options, why can't you do both?
You hate being chinese why? I would love to be more ethnic than just black.
At the end of the day you are who you are, and yes you can change who your appearance through gym and so forth but is that really going to help you improve your concept of self? Its not really going to cahnge who you are inside, trust me, i've tried.
You don't have to be the typical 'jock' to be cool! I know a lot of people who aren't like that and i would consider cool.
With regards to people talking to you as an inferior, only you can take control of that.
You jsut have to accept who you are, yes it won't take just over night but you can get there. TBH i cant exactly give you a step by step guide but don't hate yourself, its not going to get you far if you want to do the opposite. Take things a step at a time.
Everything gets hard at times and its up to you to think no i'm puttin a stop to this, i want things to change. You can if you believe in yourself, but the moment you let go and give up your just going to end up at square one.
Think of things that you want to achieve and work your way towards it.