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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not at all, it just goes against my beliefs. I hate the thought of plastic surgery. I'll miss her old nose, I love her that much. Her mum is not happy either.
    I smell ********. You want her to keep her nose so that you can have her for yourself. You fear male competition.

    The truth is you should support her no matter what and if she does in fact get more attention then so what? You'll always be the guy to her that loved her before and after the op. If she left you it would be her loss. Surely?
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    (Original post by IlexAquifolium)
    I'm with your mates, to be honest. I appreciate where you're coming from, but if you love her as much as you say you do, then you ought to support her if a nose job will make her happy, surely? By all means reassure her as far as possible that she doesn't need one, that it may not 'fix' her self-image problems, and that you love her just as she is; but telling her you'll break up with her because it will make her 'fake' is pretty low, TBH. If I were in your position I would encourage her to potentially see a consellor about it if it really strongly affects her before making the decision to have surgery, but ultimately if she decides to go ahead anyway then blackmailing her into choosing continued unhappiness with her appearance isn't a very sensitive way to handle the situation. If she does go ahead and you really really can't see beyond the surgery and it affects your feelings towards her, then you'll need to cross that bridge when you get there, I would say.
    Thanks, that makes alot of sense. I'm sorry if I come across as insensitive but I have been reassuring her for years. The "effect" only lasts awhile. It's not that I woke up one morning and flipped. It's just that now she is actively looking up places :mad: I will suggest to her a counsellor and give her my support too.

    But I do think this would end our relationship. I can't bare fakeness and changing how we were made. What's the point, I know it's fake and not real.
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    (Original post by J-E-N-O-V-A)
    I smell ********. You want her to keep her nose so that you can have her for yourself. You fear male competition.

    The truth is you should support her no matter what and if she does in fact get more attention then so what? You'll always be the guy to her that loved her before and after the op. If she left you it would be her loss. Surely?
    She already gets loads of attention and if anything she is an incredibly jealous person unlike me.

    It's not a load of crap. Point is, if she was a **** buddy by all means do what the hell you want, but I will not stand for someone I love resorting to this artificial enhancement.

    I will finish this no matter how much I love her if she goes throught with it. I will try and get her to do counselling as someone suggested, a last hope.
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    I forgot to mention, my boyfriend hates things fake too, so was really worried i'd end up with a jodie marsh nose.
    I think my nose doesn't look fake, take a look at my pics.
    And now my boyfriend prefers me after my nose operation, and loves that i feel so much better for myself.

    If she's doing it for herself, i don't think you should stand in her way.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks, that makes alot of sense. I'm sorry if I come across as insensitive but I have been reassuring her for years. The "effect" only lasts awhile. It's not that I woke up one morning and flipped. It's just that now she is actively looking up places :mad: I will suggest to her a counsellor and give her my support too.

    But I do think this would end our relationship. I can't bare fakeness and changing how we were made. What's the point, I know it's fake and not real.
    Of course. I think a counsellor would be a good bet, purely because it's quite rare (in my entirely unprofessional experience) for people to fixate on one thing without having general issues with self-esteem going with it. It may be that if she's able to talk it through more she'll find it easier to accept herself.

    I do see where you're coming from, and if you really think that it's something you wouldn't be able to get over, then that's your prerogative, and something you've obviously made clear to her. I don't think however that if on further reflection she decides it's still something she wants in order to make her happy (and perhaps, if after going through it she is demonstrably happier) that it's fair to phrase it to her as a 'your nose or me' choice. You may find that it's not as important to you as you thought. The thought of plastic surgery makes me feel a bit sick, but ultimately she'll still be the same person, and if you love her that may not change as much as you think. If that's not the case then you'll have to make a decision to break up, but if being comfortable with herself makes her happier in the long run than the relationship then so be it.
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    Wait, she wants you to stick your penis in her nose?


    Or is that not what a nose job is?
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    (Original post by nooshie)
    I had a nose job, and my boyfriend of about a year was really against me getting it done.
    I did get it done in the end, and i loved that i had my boyfriend to support me the whole way through.
    I'm so much more confident now and really happy that my boyfriend was with me.
    It's been almost 2 years since i had it done, and i have not regretted it once.

    I say just stand by her, and be the good boyfriend she wants you to be.
    None of this breaking up malarkyy!!
    This seems to be a common trend in asians, going for nose jobs :eek3:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This seems to be a common trend in asians, going for nose jobs :eek3:
    Pardon?
    It's probably because we all have such beasty noses!
    Hahaha.
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    (Original post by inksplodge)
    Telling her you'll break up with her if she does it is ridiculous. A relationship is about love and support. You're not giving her either by doing that. If she honestly hates her nose you should be supportive and let her get the nose job. If you loved her you wouldn't stand in her way of something that would make her happy. :dontknow:
    This person is 100% right.
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    Don't let your principles ruin a good thing.

    I see your point of view, and there probably isn't anything wrong with your girlfriend's nose shape.

    However, I can totally relate to your girlfriend's predicament; sometimes one feature really can affect your confidence.

    It's unlikely to be the main cause of the low confidence, and as such is irrational, but if she has always seen that physical feature as holding her back then it can be a symbolic barrier to break down by surgery, making it an important goal.

    Many people have similar feelings and this sort of surgery can improve the person's quality of life.

    Personally, I'm seeking a hand-job.
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    (Original post by IlexAquifolium)
    Of course. I think a counsellor would be a good bet, purely because it's quite rare (in my entirely unprofessional experience) for people to fixate on one thing without having general issues with self-esteem going with it. It may be that if she's able to talk it through more she'll find it easier to accept herself.

    I do see where you're coming from, and if you really think that it's something you wouldn't be able to get over, then that's your prerogative, and something you've obviously made clear to her. I don't think however that if on further reflection she decides it's still something she wants in order to make her happy (and perhaps, if after going through it she is demonstrably happier) that it's fair to phrase it to her as a 'your nose or me' choice. You may find that it's not as important to you as you thought. The thought of plastic surgery makes me feel a bit sick, but ultimately she'll still be the same person, and if you love her that may not change as much as you think. If that's not the case then you'll have to make a decision to break up, but if being comfortable with herself makes her happier in the long run than the relationship then so be it.
    Yeah I've txted her to let her know that perhaps she could go and see a counsellor and i offered to make arrangements for it if she wants to go ahead.

    I have a feeling it could be a general lack of confidence, hopefully it can be solved by talking it through with a professional. Then again, surgery might bring her happiness and give her confidence, it is her choice, but I don't want to be part of her if she does it.
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    To you, it's just a nose.
    To her, it's insecurity. Everytime someone looks at her, she'll think it's cos of that.

    Just support her, don't give her an extra predicament.
    You say you're deeply in love with her, but you're unwilling to compromise with something she must feel strongly about.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I will not stand for someone I love resorting to this artificial enhancement.
    I get where you're coming from, but do you realise how controlling you sound?

    If this is something that she's wanted for several years then it's obviously something that she feels strongly about. It's her body, and she has the right to do what she likes with it without getting emotional blackmail from her boyfriend. If you really love her then you'll support her no matter what her decision, even if you don't agree with it. I honestly think what you're doing (threatening to break up with her) is really horrible, and not the sort of behaviour you'd expect from somebody in love.

    Also, I understand you have an aversion to 'fakeness', but a nose job is not that big a deal in terms of the possible plastic surgery she could be having. I know several people who have had nose jobs, and it honestly took me only a couple of weeks to get used to their new nose! It won't be as radical a change as you may think it will be. And it won't change the things that really matter - such as her personality.
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    yeah, you're bang out of order on this one mate. shes got something that makes her feel self conscious and generally crap, why on earth not let her fix it? explain to her that it might not solve the problem (see pyschocybernetics, its a self help book written by a plastic surgeon, lots of stuff about influencing the self-image, covers this issue pretty much word for word) but if shes dead set on it i really cant see your right to object. Explain your concerns to her, whatever they are (and be honest) but if she still wants to do it then for gods sake support her, your her boyfriend thats your job.
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    It's her life. It's her body. If it makes her feel better, let her.
    I for one do want a nose job and if I actually decided upon getting one, I wouldn't want to be stuck in a situation like this.
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    (Original post by nooshie)
    Pardon?
    It's probably because we all have such beasty noses!
    Hahaha.
    It's always a little wide or hooked Tbh her nose isn't noticeable in a bad way the way she thinks it is. But I know it's her own insecurity so it's tough.

    Btw your nose looks nice, I know to her it will also make her look more attractive, but well, you guys know my view!!
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    You are being incredibly selfish about this.

    There is something that damages her confidence, really gets her down.. yet you want her to live with it because you 'don't like fakeness'. It isn't a permanent change. I know people that have had their noses repaired after a bad nose job and it looks like it's never been operated on.

    It's a big thing, yes. And it has it's risks. But it's really not that different than changing weight, teeth or hair etc

    You are either insecure about her looking prettier and going off with someone else, or you're worried about it looking false. You, you, you.

    If you loved her; you'd want her to be happy.



    Look at this fantastic nosejob ffs. You'd really turn this girl down, purely because her beautiful nose was 'false'?

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    Nose jobs are really weird, they're not the same as a boob job or something like that. You nose is a really personal thing, they rarely go well, and when they do its usually because they have hardly changed and looked fine in the first place.
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    (Original post by Ms Kooky)
    I get where you're coming from, but do you realise how controlling you sound?

    If this is something that she's wanted for several years then it's obviously something that she feels strongly about. It's her body, and she has the right to do what she likes with it without getting emotional blackmail from her boyfriend. If you really love her then you'll support her no matter what her decision, even if you don't agree with it. I honestly think what you're doing (threatening to break up with her) is really horrible, and not the sort of behaviour you'd expect from somebody in love.

    Also, I understand you have an aversion to 'fakeness', but a nose job is not that big a deal in terms of the possible plastic surgery she could be having. I know several people who have had nose jobs, and it honestly took me only a couple of weeks to get used to their new nose! It won't be as radical a change as you may think it will be. And it won't change the things that really matter - such as her personality.
    I know I have apologised to her about my behaviour. Normally I am very supportive of her even when it goes against what I think-but I feel too strongly about this. I am just going to try and be there for her, maybe buy her some books on confidence, take her out, get her to see a counsellor e.t.c Hopefully it will not reach the dreaded end stage of an operation. I love her personality but I love the way she looked when I fell in love with her too. I know some smartass is going to say but our appearances change over years but that's a natural progression not something you go under the knife for.
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    I was going to say that a nose job sounded rather kinky, then I realised you meant plastic surgery.
 
 
 
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