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A Basic Men's Guide to Success with Women Watch

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    (Original post by Sheldor)
    A lot of the putting girls down and then using that stuff was the worst, to be honest. I mostly helped them realise girls aren't total aliens by being their friend, and introducing t them to people. I also gave them advice about the specific girls they were dating, especially not to try and play games or hard to get or whatever.

    If you kept doing that, I'd start to suspect either something was fishy or think you weren't interested in me enough to make time, which would put me off because I dont like the idea of it being overly one sided. Seriously, what is the point in that? Surely if you actually like a girl, you want to spend lots of time with her?

    For example?
    Playing hard to get, if done properly, makes you look more desirable. And to be clear, it certainly works with boys as well, possibly better. It works on me.

    To be clear, I'm talking about talking to a girl on a night out. I've never followed any dating advice, because that kind of conversation comes naturally to me, and you have a lot more time, so I've never felt I needed it. By "pretending to be busy", I mean the absolute classic opener, "I need to get back to my friends in a minute, but can I just ask..."- false time constraint, so she doesn't think "oh God, who is this guy who is going to hanging around us all night". It also saves a bit of pride if she isn't interested. I always liked talking to a girl, then leaving her alone for a bit, not in a harsh way, just saying "I need to get back to my mates", so I don't look too keen. Also, her friends are less likely to resent me taking her time, and I do actually want to spend time with my friends on a night out. This is fairly simple advice, but you see the way some guys follow girls around clubs.

    Although I would advise anyone, male or female, not to always be available when first seeing someone, just raises your value a bit to say, at least sometimes, "can't do Thursday, Friday midday"? I mean that will probably happen anyway if you have a good social life, and if you don't, you don't really want to make that clear.
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    (Original post by Sheldor)
    A lot of the putting girls down and then using that stuff was the worst, to be honest. I mostly helped them realise girls aren't total aliens by being their friend, and introducing t them to people. I also gave them advice about the specific girls they were dating, especially not to try and play games or hard to get or whatever.



    If you kept doing that, I'd start to suspect either something was fishy or think you weren't interested in me enough to make time, which would put me off because I dont like the idea of it being overly one sided. Seriously, what is the point in that? Surely if you actually like a girl, you want to spend lots of time with her?

    For example?


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    A lot of the putting girls down
    If you're "putting someone down" to the point they're upset, you're doing it wrong.

    It's otherwise called TEASING, it's supposed to be done playfully, and in a manner where it is at least somewhat apparent that they're not 100% serious.

    Seriously, what is the point in that?
    The point in that is showing that you're not a NEEDY person, and that you have other things to do.

    Many guys radiate neediness, so that fact that the guy demonstrates that he has other priorities is very important.
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    (Original post by dgeorge)
    If you're "putting someone down" to the point they're upset, you're doing it wrong.

    It's otherwise called TEASING, it's supposed to be done playfully, and in a manner where it is at least somewhat apparent that they're not 100% serious.
    Yeah, I mean I'd tease, or "neg", a girl for where she was from (basics- inner city, criminal, countryside, clueless inbred, Northern, unsophisticated, Southern, pretentious...), her taste in music (it isn't that I think dubstep is **** music, it's more that it isn't really music...), things like that, in a jokey way that most girls will laugh at. It isn't like you say to a fat girl "wow, did you eat all your mates" or something.

    Good negging is more important the more attractive a girl is, because a good looking girl in a club gets approached a lot, and a lot of guys will pander to her ("Yeah, I love that band too!", "oh yeah, I've always wanted to go to Grimsby!", "you look so good in that dress"). By not doing this, you stand out, you show you are more confident, you aren't "beneath" her.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Good negging is more important the more attractive a girl is, because a good looking girl in a club gets approached a lot, and a lot of guys will pander to her ("Yeah, I love that band too!", "oh yeah, I've always wanted to go to Grimsby!", "you look so good in that dress"). By not doing this, you stand out, you show you are more confident, you aren't "beneath" her.
    Would negging work on you if a girl did it?
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    Would negging work on you if a girl did it?

    Personally, a girl who teased me about things would make them far more attractive than someone who simply liked everything I said. ESPECIALLY if I was used to them regularly saying so
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    Would negging work on you if a girl did it?
    I think self-psychoanalysing is hard. I don't think men and women's brains work the same ways, so I don't think it would make me attracted in the way it can make girls attracted, but I do enjoy being teased back, which is obviously common when you are negging girls. That's basically how guys talk, we take the piss out of each other, so I'm comfortable in that environment.

    Some tactics can certainly work on men, though for obvious reasons I haven't put nearly as much thought into it. But for example, I was seeing my girlfriend casually for a while, and I was happy with that set up, until she told me about another guy who she was friends with who liked her, and she didn't know what to do. That made me realise how much I liked her, so I asked her out.

    We all like to think of ourselves as totally rational, which is why I think a lot of PUA stuff gets on people's nerves so much, but I think at some point you have to accept we aren't, especially when it comes to sex and relationships. That's where we are at our most emotional and least rational.
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    (Original post by dgeorge)
    If you're "putting someone down" to the point they're upset, you're doing it wrong.

    It's otherwise called TEASING, it's supposed to be done playfully, and in a manner where it is at least somewhat apparent that they're not 100% serious.



    The point in that is showing that you're not a NEEDY person, and that you have other things to do.

    Many guys radiate neediness, so that fact that the guy demonstrates that he has other priorities is very important.
    I think it's called negging, I'm not sure, but whatever the theory is, my socially awkward friends couldn't figure it out and just ended up offending people. For me, and most people I know, if friends make fun of them then it's fine, but as soon as it's a stranger it just feels.weird.

    I get that one a bit better now. My friends were pretty bad at it since the whole reason they turned to pua was their awkwardness, so the subtleties and degree didn't really translate.
    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    but I think at some point you have to accept we aren't, especially when it comes to sex and relationships. That's where we are at our most emotional and least rational.
    That's true. Re: negging - do you agree that it can go too far? I mean guys have said things to me which are teasing but downright rude so I think they're a **** (and very often are). Whereas other times, some gentle teasing has made me attracted to them. I definitely think there's a line you can't cross with that.
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    That's true. Re: negging - do you agree that it can go too far? I mean guys have said things to me which are teasing but downright rude so I think they're a **** (and very often are). Whereas other times, some gentle teasing has made me attracted to them. I definitely think there's a line you can't cross with that.
    Oh, of course, especially considering most people will be doing these things while under the influence in this country. Neg is short for "negative compliment" (actually a lot of the examples I posted weren't actually negs, what can I say, I've been out the game a long time ), and I doubt what you're referring to could have been interpreted as a "compliment". I'd guess a lot of these guys aren't trying PUA tactics, they're just dicks.

    Classic negs are things like "Ah I like your hair style, a lot of girls are doing it like that at the moment, aren't they"? You often get a reply like "Er, I was doing it before it was popular", which is great because she's in the mindset of justifying herself to you, whereas the default when you approach a girl is you justifying yourself to her.

    I know it looks a bit creepy when you write it down, a bit clinical and over planned, but I don't think there's any aspect that is really immoral at all.
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    That's true. Re: negging - do you agree that it can go too far? I mean guys have said things to me which are teasing but downright rude so I think they're a **** (and very often are). Whereas other times, some gentle teasing has made me attracted to them. I definitely think there's a line you can't cross with that.
    All I know is too many people cross the damn line on this site.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    I know it looks a bit creepy when you write it down, a bit clinical and over planned, but I don't think there's any aspect that is really immoral at all.
    Yeah I think I get it.

    I don't know if it'd work on me 'cause I don't particularly care if a hairstyle I have is the same as lots of people's They'd probs have to say something different to me
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    Yeah I think I get it.

    I don't know if it'd work on me 'cause I don't particularly care if a hairstyle I have is the same as lots of people's They'd probs have to say something different to me
    Fair enough, you've got to admit it winds a lot of girls up though...
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    (Original post by Sheldor)
    I think it's called negging, I'm not sure, but whatever the theory is, my socially awkward friends couldn't figure it out and just ended up offending people. For me, and most people I know, if friends make fun of them then it's fine, but as soon as it's a stranger it just feels.weird.

    I get that one a bit better now. My friends were pretty bad at it since the whole reason they turned to pua was their awkwardness, so the subtleties and degree didn't really translate.
    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Therein lies the problem. The idea of "negging" which really is simply playful teasing, is quite useful. The problem wasn't the idea, it was in the execution.
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    That's true. Re: negging - do you agree that it can go too far? I mean guys have said things to me which are teasing but downright rude so I think they're a **** (and very often are). Whereas other times, some gentle teasing has made me attracted to them. I definitely think there's a line you can't cross with that.
    If they're just being a ****, they are not "negging", they're just being a ****

    Negging involves some level of humour, where the person you're "negging" knows you're not 100% serious. It is to be done in a light, joking manner

    You know, if you actually thought about it instead of calling people who follow PUA tactics "losers" then maybe you'd see the sense in it

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    (Original post by py0alb)
    Wtf is wrong with black t-shirts? :confused:

    Also, black shoes do go with some blue jeans, just not baggy pale jeans.
    Amen to that.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    Fair enough, you've got to admit it winds a lot of girls up though...
    (Original post by dgeorge)
    If they're just being a ****, they are not "negging", they're just being a ****

    Negging involves some level of humour, where the person you're "negging" knows you're not 100% serious. It is to be done in a light, joking manner

    You know, if you actually thought about it instead of calling people who follow PUA tactics "losers" then maybe you'd see the sense in it

    The problem is, most of (or a helluva lot) the guys following pua don't get the subtleties, because if they're awkward/desperate enough to rely on it, they're probably awkward enough to do it wrong/fail at translating the humour. A tactic designed for awkward/flailing guys shouldn't really be so subtle, because it just ends up with a lot of confused people acting like dicks.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    I've seen homeless men with girlfriends what a load of ****...pfft get a hair cut ha ha what ever next.
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    (Original post by dgeorge)
    You're from Montserrat I see....hmmm interesting, ever been over on this side then?
    Yeah my mum is. If this side means the West Indies, then no
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    (Original post by HistoryRepeating)
    Examples are to pick the bar or restaurant for your date without hesitation (knowing some cool, interesting places is extremely helpful), choosing wine for both of you with a meal
    Just wondering about this point in particular. Generally speaking regardless of situation I will make sure I check everyone is happy with the situation as I don't want to be selfish. What's said here seems to suggest this is completely the wrong tactic to take. Is it really best to do the decision making and not offer her the chance to suggest something she would like to do/have?
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    (Original post by Sheldor)
    The problem is, most of (or a helluva lot) the guys following pua don't get the subtleties, because if they're awkward/desperate enough to rely on it, they're probably awkward enough to do it wrong/fail at translating the humour. A tactic designed for awkward/flailing guys shouldn't really be so subtle, because it just ends up with a lot of confused people acting like dicks.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Like this?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GnmC...e_gdata_player
 
 
 
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