The fibs your teacher told you in school [golden thread]

Announcements
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    You're going to enjoy this lesson.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    A bunch of us wrote down which pizza we wanted if we came and helped out at an open evening... never saw or heard about it ever again
    RIP to my pizza choices
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    In primary school we all believed that there were cameras all over the classroom (they were actually fire alarms/smoke detectors :/) so obviously we owned up to everything we did before the teacher "collected" the evidence
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    PE teacher told us never to mess around near rounders bases because one time "a boy tried to jump over one and it punctured his bowel and his poo exploded everywhere in front of the whole class."

    In nursery a little red light would appear every so often on the fire alarm and we were told that it was santa watching us and we all had to wave to him and promise never to misbehave.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    That I was going to get an A for Sociology but got an E...:woo::woo::jacko::jacko::cry2::cry2::cry::cry:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    We had a spelling test in primary school and my teacher told me that I spelt 'desert' wrong, but they'd actually spelt it 'dessert' on their mark scheme. I've been gutted ever since.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    'Don't throw paper planes, a girl once had one go through her eye socket into her brain' -Yr4
    'There's a bear on the playing field, we're going cross country running to track it down' - Yr9 PE (Half of the class actually believed the teacher :doh:)
    'Our school believes in removing barriers so disadvantaged students can achieve their best' - All of highschool.
    Utter baloney, they used to treat the kids with Asperger's like crap, constant detentions and all sorts instead of actually offering them support and training teachers to understand and aid them.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Firstly there's the classic: don't swing on your chair, one boy in my old class did that and split his head open

    Then there's the: when I was your age, if I shouted out I'd get locked in the dungeons

    They also said that they'd ring our parents if we misbehaved one more time and they never did
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Too many to count.........

    Okay, fine, I'll give an example:
    Everything in every Science. Each year they tell us that what we previously learnt is actually wrong!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    There really is alot but what stands out to me is that in year 6 we had a science day and we were told that Neil Armstrong was coming into school! Since we did rocket launches and stuff people actually believed it for the majority of the day. You know meeting a celeb and all is exciting only to find out the next day that it was a fake, it was the husband of one of the teachers!!
    but the teachers never admitted it
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by UnidentifiedBody)
    Too many to count.........

    Okay, fine, I'll give an example:
    Everything in every Science. Each year they tell us that what we previously learnt is actually wrong!
    But they've prewarned us that everything we were taught in GCSE Chem was wrong.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    "Your Year 6 SATs are EXTREMELY important!"
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    THe apple falling on Newtons head is a lie

    There is a classic story that Sir Isaac Newton came up with his law of gravity when an apple fell on his head. What is true is that he was on his mother's farm and watched an apple fall from a tree onto the ground when he began to wonder what forces were at work to cause the apple to fall in that way. He eventually realized that they were the same forces which kept the moon in orbit around the Earth, which was his brilliant insight.

    But, so far as we know, he was never hit in the head with an apple.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Fib: That all coursework has to be done in silence and in "exam conditions". In the end she actually wrote someones History coursework for them cheeky *****.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    "If you eat the crusts on your toast, you will have curly hair" ?!?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Zeuvous)
    "Your Year 6 SATs are EXTREMELY important!"
    Thank God for the local boycott of 2010!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    "We will have a free lesson after this exam"
    Never happened.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    "We're here for you and we're on your side".

    As they literally set me up to fail.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    In my year 9 maths class we had a new teacher and she told us that "this year is crucially important in preparation for your GCSEs, and I will always be there to help you through your exams". Thats what she said and less than a month later we never saw her again, she didn't even tell us that she was leaving!

    Oh yeah I've got another one, this time from primary school. We must have been only 5 or 6 years old at the time but we made paper-mache bugs with old bottles as a class project and for 6 year old they didn't look too bad. The school decided to hang them on the assembly hall's wall so that the whole school could see them and the teachers said that we "can have them back at the end of your last school year in year 6". So year 6 came and everyone from my class had remembered what the teachers had promised and what did they do? They threw them away during the summer before our last year. Scandalous.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by scphmapd)
    In year 8 our teacher told us she had a friend that was in teacher training. She left the room to speak to someone. During this time her students threw rubbers across the room. She walked into the room, one of the rubbers went into her eye and made her permanently blind. She had to quit her training and became unemployed.

    I can guarantee this NEVER happened. And everyone continued to throw rubbers around the room.
    :rofl: You'd have to be really unlucky to be blinded by a flying rubber

    (Original post by neriine)
    Our History teacher titled every email he sent to us with 'FREE PIZZA' or 'FREE CHOCOLATE' to make sure everyone read them.
    There would always be a clause at the end of the email explaining he lied about the free food :'
    :cries: that's just mean
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: September 19, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Poll
Which is the best season?
Useful resources
Study resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.