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    I did some googling, turns out my haldol dosage is the highest recommended. Makes me feel extremely nervous about taking it. But I haven't really got any choice in the matter. Not to mention I'm on the highest of quetiapine too. This makes me feel like such a freak and a failure.
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    (Original post by htc one s)
    I can't ever be happy.

    PS. Anyone ever had thoughts like people can hear your thoughts?
    Yeah, I get those thoughts. I also find that other people can steal the thoughts I'm having. Like I'll be just thinking and suddenly everything's gone. So annoying and scary.

    why can't you be happy?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I did some googling, turns out my haldol dosage is the highest recommended. Makes me feel extremely nervous about taking it. But I haven't really got any choice in the matter. Not to mention I'm on the highest of quetiapine too. This makes me feel like such a freak and a failure.
    Dude, you aren't a freak, nor a failure. I know you've probably hear it so many times, but for us, psychiatric drugs are as essential as insulin is to diabetics. I know there is a bit of difference as they can prove someone has got diabetes, but in this psychs can't exactly prove someone has psychosis, but they can go by your symptoms. The important thing is that they help. It sounds like you are having a **** time atm, have you spoken to your psych about how you feel?


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    (Original post by htc one s)
    I can't ever be happy.

    PS. Anyone ever had thoughts like people can hear your thoughts?
    Yes I get that. Even though everyone tells me its not real, feels like the government is controlling my mind, via a chip in my brain - they insert new thoughts an read my mind. Makes me on edge all the time, scared what will happen.


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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Yes I get that. Even though everyone tells me its not real, feels like the government is controlling my mind, via a chip in my brain - they insert new thoughts an read my mind. Makes me on edge all the time, scared what will happen.


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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Yeah, I get those thoughts. I also find that other people can steal the thoughts I'm having. Like I'll be just thinking and suddenly everything's gone. So annoying and scary.

    why can't you be happy?
    argh why didnt i post here when that feeling was at its peak. i thought everyone could read my thoughts, felt like a celebrity for 3 months :facepalm:
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    Went to the new GP for the first time today, and she sent me straight to the CMHT for an urgent assessment. The woman at the CMHT was a *****. I told her about everything that was going on and then she actually said "are you making your symptoms up, do you actually hear voices and see things that others can't see, or are you just making that up?". I didnt know what to say. Made me feel like an attention seeking scum. And all day I've been sat here, with the voices going crazy, thinking that I'm just making it up for attention. But why can't I get it to stop?!

    She also asked me what benefits I was on, and I said DLA at high care and low mobility. And she just stared at me and said "do you actually need that level". I don't know.

    Voices are bad atm and all I can think of is that I'm a lying attention seeking weak pathetic person. She said she would get me a psych appointment soon but I don't even want to turn up. The GP wanted to increase my Quetiapine, but now I feel like just stopping it, because, Im just making it up, right? :cry:


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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Yeah, I get those thoughts. I also find that other people can steal the thoughts I'm having. Like I'll be just thinking and suddenly everything's gone. So annoying and scary.

    why can't you be happy?
    was just feeling low at the time... its better right this instant
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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Went to the new GP for the first time today, and she sent me straight to the CMHT for an urgent assessment. The woman at the CMHT was a *****. I told her about everything that was going on and then she actually said "are you making your symptoms up, do you actually hear voices and see things that others can't see, or are you just making that up?". I didnt know what to say. Made me feel like an attention seeking scum. And all day I've been sat here, with the voices going crazy, thinking that I'm just making it up for attention. But why can't I get it to stop?!

    She also asked me what benefits I was on, and I said DLA at high care and low mobility. And she just stared at me and said "do you actually need that level". I don't know.

    Voices are bad atm and all I can think of is that I'm a lying attention seeking weak pathetic person. She said she would get me a psych appointment soon but I don't even want to turn up. The GP wanted to increase my Quetiapine, but now I feel like just stopping it, because, Im just making it up, right? :cry:


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    definitely take the medication, at the end of the day her opinion doesn't mean anything, you should take care of the problem
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    (Original post by avhhs)
    :hugs: You seem to be feeling better today?

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    A little I guess. Missing my mum though, and been having breakdowns nearly every night and just crying hysterically on my boyfriend


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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Dude, you aren't a freak, nor a failure. I know you've probably hear it so many times, but for us, psychiatric drugs are as essential as insulin is to diabetics. I know there is a bit of difference as they can prove someone has got diabetes, but in this psychs can't exactly prove someone has psychosis, but they can go by your symptoms. The important thing is that they help. It sounds like you are having a **** time atm, have you spoken to your psych about how you feel?


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    I have heard that analogy before yes but I don't agree with it. I feel like I just need to man up and get over myself and everything would be fine, but I can't I'm too weak. I don't see myself the same as a diabetic.

    I spoke to a nurse who spoke to my psychiatrist on my behalf, she increased the dose but I guess 3 doses is too few to see if it's having any effect.

    Heard anything about your volunteering?
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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Went to the new GP for the first time today, and she sent me straight to the CMHT for an urgent assessment. The woman at the CMHT was a *****. I told her about everything that was going on and then she actually said "are you making your symptoms up, do you actually hear voices and see things that others can't see, or are you just making that up?". I didnt know what to say. Made me feel like an attention seeking scum. And all day I've been sat here, with the voices going crazy, thinking that I'm just making it up for attention. But why can't I get it to stop?!

    She also asked me what benefits I was on, and I said DLA at high care and low mobility. And she just stared at me and said "do you actually need that level". I don't know.

    Voices are bad atm and all I can think of is that I'm a lying attention seeking weak pathetic person. She said she would get me a psych appointment soon but I don't even want to turn up. The GP wanted to increase my Quetiapine, but now I feel like just stopping it, because, Im just making it up, right? :cry:


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    :hugs: You're not making things up, don't doubt yourself and don't listen to that complete *****. What a moron how does someone like that even keep their job in this area?

    If you think increasing the quetiapine will help you should give it a go.

    Is there anything you can do to calm the voices down? I dunno some loud favorite music or something?
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    A little I guess. Missing my mum though, and been having breakdowns nearly every night and just crying hysterically on my boyfriend


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    Oh no :sad: :jumphug:
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    (Original post by Sultana)
    Dunno why the quote didn't work but glad they arrived okay I was gonna make you a card (I wasnt joking about the choice, have let my brilliant box of cards and other such stationary get shamefully low on stock :emo:) but that would probably have taken me another million years () and I wanted to send.

    It feels like we've not spoken in foreverrrr, how're things going? :hugs:
    I was v pleased with them, and your handwriting is incredible. It's so uniform. They are seriously cute as well.

    Not really doing so well atm, trying to keep myself away from people cos it's not that fair for me to go all meltdown on people who are struggling themselves. Reading TSR is making me kind of want to explode a lot of the time as well and I don't really want to post when I'm in that place. I dunno, I'm so bitter and angry and horrible.

    Urgh sorry so much me.

    How are you doing?
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    (Original post by avhhs)
    Oh no :sad: :jumphug:
    dont feel bad, its not worth it!
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    dont feel bad, its not worth it!
    Dunno, I just want you to be happy :yep: :hugs:

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    (Original post by avhhs)
    Dunno, I just want you to be happy :yep: :hugs:

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    pretty unlikely really.


    also pretty sure im about to burst into tears again soon :woo:
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    Sorry but need to rant:

    My brother turned down a operation tomorrow (offered today) because he wanted to go out drinking tonight. This made my mum angry on top of some other pretty typical but fairly selfish stuff then when my dad came home she was complaining about it. Said that we (my brother and I) don't appreciate anything and are really selfish which made me feel horrible since what I am supposed to do?

    She's annoyed because I haven't found a job yet, never mind that I can't bring myself to even apply at the minute, apparently all I need to do is 'go for it' and 'put myself out there'. Then again when I pointed out calling strangers tends to give me panic attacks she went into a story about how she was shy at my age but she got over by talking to people and clearly that's what I need to do.

    Then there was the response to finding out that alongside some summer clothes I also bought a hoodie because it was on sale. She asked if I could return it and then went on about how I should buy more fitted clothes, I have no response to that. At least she's in work tomorrow and constantly reminds me that I need to get better so I can go back to uni 200 miles away.

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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    pretty unlikely really.


    also pretty sure im about to burst into tears again soon :woo:
    Not true

    Don't worry, most people do every now and then. It helps you calm down as well, I often feel really calm after I've cried :yep:

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    (Original post by avhhs)
    Not true

    Don't worry, most people do every now and then. It helps you calm down as well, I often feel really calm after I've cried :yep:

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    Every now and then, isn't near enough every night its so draining. I hate it so much, can't keep going on like this


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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Every now and then, isn't near enough every night its so draining. I hate it so much, can't keep going on like this


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    Oh no, don't know what to say :sad: :jumphug:

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