Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    Warning, lots of potential triggers here, so read at your own risk.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Last night i reached what may have been the lowest I've ever felt, i felt so bad that i needed to resort to substances that i thought i had given up.

    I have always kept everything in, painful though it may be, with very few ways of release or coping mechanisms. I basically just let it all out last night, i couldn't hold it in anymore. i told everything to some mates and me and my dad were crying our eyes out across skype.

    On top of the substances i took, i hadn't eaten anything for nearly 2 days, slept about 4 hours over the last few days, and I hadn't smoked pot for a week, when i had been smoking it daily for months. Oh, I've also been unemployed for nearly a year, hadn't seen my parents for 5 months and the sertraline I've been on for a month doesn't seem to be doing anything. I've also been getting more and more anxious about everything the last month.

    I feel so disconnected from reality at the moment, and so fragile. I hope though that the events last night will serve as a catalyst to help me get better.


    Also, i love how supportive my therapist is. She makes me have faith that i will eventually get better, and that i have the strength to do it.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    (Reply)
    Spoiler:
    Show

    Sometimes, you have to be slightly naughty (couldn't think of a better word) to be better overall. Not so much on my current drugs*, but on past drug combinations, then they have made me feel very numb, and I have drunk excessively just so I can feel sad - which at times is better than long times of feeling numb. Otherall, letting things out has helped me feel a bit better - although it isn't a permanent solution. I think the big problem (or a big part) from what you said is that you need more help from a GP or psychiatrist - therapy is good, and can be very beneficial long-term, but ideally it works hand-in-hand with effective medication which keeps you ok in the short-term, which you are saying the sertraline isn't doing.

    Have you got anyone who can help keep an eye on you, with your eating and similar? If nothing else, try to make an effort to have one big meal a day - it isn't as good as three meals, blah blah blah, but it is better than nothing. Either that, or possibly see if you can be prescribed something like complan, and so you just have one or two milkshakes a day?


    *For those who know me and my problems, the problems I am having now are of a different nature.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by zonkfrog)
    I thought it'd be good to keep my brain active. That maybe I wouldnt get down if I was occupied doing something else. So I'm playing chess on an app. But its kinda backfired cause it turns out im truly terrible at it :/
    Anyone want to teach me chess?
    I am happy to give it a go if you want

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I did some googling, turns out my haldol dosage is the highest recommended. Makes me feel extremely nervous about taking it. But I haven't really got any choice in the matter. Not to mention I'm on the highest of quetiapine too. This makes me feel like such a freak and a failure.
    It is not your fault - you are not a freak or a failure. If it is one of your friends who was in a similar situation, I know you wouldn't think that they were either. I also know it can be hard, but try to not be so hard on yourself :hugs:

    Also listen to bullettheory, his points also make a lot of sense.

    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Went to the new GP for the first time today, and she sent me straight to the CMHT for an urgent assessment. The woman at the CMHT was a *****. I told her about everything that was going on and then she actually said "are you making your symptoms up, do you actually hear voices and see things that others can't see, or are you just making that up?". I didnt know what to say. Made me feel like an attention seeking scum. And all day I've been sat here, with the voices going crazy, thinking that I'm just making it up for attention. But why can't I get it to stop?!

    She also asked me what benefits I was on, and I said DLA at high care and low mobility. And she just stared at me and said "do you actually need that level". I don't know.

    Voices are bad atm and all I can think of is that I'm a lying attention seeking weak pathetic person. She said she would get me a psych appointment soon but I don't even want to turn up. The GP wanted to increase my Quetiapine, but now I feel like just stopping it, because, Im just making it up, right? :cry:


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Wtf! Seriously, I think you are in good contention for having the most useless medical person.

    Yes you do need the level of DLA you get. Given mine and SW's application for DLA, I would be surprised if there is even one person on DLA who is on a level too high. You are not lying, nor are are weak or pathetic. Listen to people who you trust, as opposed to the idiot you unfortunately got at the CMHT.

    Lastly, at a point where you are hopefully feeling better, get someone to help you make a complaint, as I don't think a person like that should have the job they do.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Is it just me, or do things just mysteriously disappear in your own room?! My room is that much of a state though, is it any wonder things go walkabout?!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Is it just me, or do things just mysteriously disappear in your own room?! My room is that much of a state though, is it any wonder things go walkabout?!
    I get this all the time. Its so annoying. You have something in your hand, put it down somewhere, havent left the room yet its just gone. I get so annoyed and frustrated and then just utterly upset cause im so confused.
    Hate it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm so lazy. I hate myself. This sucks.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    D-Day is here :eek:


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    D-Day is here :eek:


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    :hugs: let me know how it goes hun


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    D-Day is here :eek:


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    What's your D-Day?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Feeling really lost today and don't know what to do with myself

    Something's up and I can't put my finger on it but I don't like it


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #18
    #18

    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Feeling really lost today and don't know what to do with myself

    Something's up and I can't put my finger on it but I don't like it


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Sorry to hear that! Is it something you feel you have to do?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I actually had a good day. I was feeling quite bad in the morning (see post above) but my parents were pushing me and I managed to write an e-mail officially (I've already informally talked about it with the people responsible) requesting an extension for my thesis, make a call to swap internet/phone providers and actually write more for my thesis.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry to hear that! Is it something you feel you have to do?
    No I dunno just think something's gonna happen and I can't stop it cos I don't know what IT is


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Went to the new GP for the first time today, and she sent me straight to the CMHT for an urgent assessment. The woman at the CMHT was a *****. I told her about everything that was going on and then she actually said "are you making your symptoms up, do you actually hear voices and see things that others can't see, or are you just making that up?". I didnt know what to say. Made me feel like an attention seeking scum. And all day I've been sat here, with the voices going crazy, thinking that I'm just making it up for attention. But why can't I get it to stop?!

    She also asked me what benefits I was on, and I said DLA at high care and low mobility. And she just stared at me and said "do you actually need that level". I don't know.

    Voices are bad atm and all I can think of is that I'm a lying attention seeking weak pathetic person. She said she would get me a psych appointment soon but I don't even want to turn up. The GP wanted to increase my Quetiapine, but now I feel like just stopping it, because, Im just making it up, right? :cry:


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I'd go back to the GP who made the referral and tell them what this nurse was like with you and ask to be referred again but to someone different. You have every right to ask this, I can't believe someone working in mental health would be like this. It just sound so unprofessional and dismissive. The mental health trust should have a PALS team who you could complain to, which I think you should. I'm sick of hearing about useless nurses, they make the rest of us look bad.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Guess who's been in the library since 8am? :awesome:

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I did some googling, turns out my haldol dosage is the highest recommended. Makes me feel extremely nervous about taking it. But I haven't really got any choice in the matter. Not to mention I'm on the highest of quetiapine too. This makes me feel like such a freak and a failure.
    :hugs: It's never a failure to choose to accept help when you need it. And it's not at all about 'manning up' or any other such bull**** (I suspect it doesn't help that the people you're surrounded with aren't the most clued up on mental health) - you wouldn't be this judgmental of anyone else experiencing psychosis, so why do so with yourself (and yes I know you're a very special person, but you shouldn't have unreasonable standards for yourself).

    Was talking to my study coach about mental illness, psychosis and that stuff that we're not allowed to talk about - turns out he's into the whole anti-psychiatry thing, which is kinda amusing. We also talked about when, if ever, it's morally acceptable to section people.

    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Went to the new GP for the first time today, and she sent me straight to the CMHT for an urgent assessment. The woman at the CMHT was a *****. I told her about everything that was going on and then she actually said "are you making your symptoms up, do you actually hear voices and see things that others can't see, or are you just making that up?". I didnt know what to say. Made me feel like an attention seeking scum. And all day I've been sat here, with the voices going crazy, thinking that I'm just making it up for attention. But why can't I get it to stop?!

    She also asked me what benefits I was on, and I said DLA at high care and low mobility. And she just stared at me and said "do you actually need that level". I don't know.

    Voices are bad atm and all I can think of is that I'm a lying attention seeking weak pathetic person. She said she would get me a psych appointment soon but I don't even want to turn up. The GP wanted to increase my Quetiapine, but now I feel like just stopping it, because, Im just making it up, right? :cry:


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    :eek: That woman deserves a punch in the face! Definitely definitely complain about her, because not only is she rude, she's also dangerous being in a job working with vulnerable people. I mean just seeing her once has made you want to go off your meds, so imagine what she could be doing to people she sees more often!

    Also I find making complaints when merited helps me feel better about what's happened, as you're not passively becoming a victim, you're doing something and standing up for yourself.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    No I dunno just think something's gonna happen and I can't stop it cos I don't know what IT is


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Yea that doesn't sound nice at all Hope it goes away soon!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Waiting for a ferry to Spain. Everyone is extremely stressed and just trying to be calm and remember that people are being irrational. Deeeeep breathing, lol.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    So they gave me a breakdown of my phq9 and gad7 stuff from the other day and I have moderate-severe depression and moderate anxiety. Not sure what this means but it sounds exiting anyway...


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Waiting for a ferry to Spain. Everyone is extremely stressed and just trying to be calm and remember that people are being irrational. Deeeeep breathing, lol.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Hope you have a good time on your holiday

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    So, I've now been prescribed 50mg of Serataline (however you spell it ). Lets hope this works better than Citalopram.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by avhhs)
    Hope you have a good time on your holiday

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Thanks

    --

    Trying to ignore family stuff. My brother was smoking weed in the house this morning and my mum found razor blades with some pills (for cutting them) and all hell broke loose. He was kicked out for possibly the shortest period of time ever and then taken back to come on holiday with us. I don't feel that safe when I know he's taking quite hard drugs. But trying to be ok.
 
 
 
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 11, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.