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    (Original post by sherbet_lemons7)
    I will never be good enough for anything or anyone and don't know why I keep inflicting myself on people who deserve better. :cry2:
    I'm here if you want someone to talk to.
    You are already good enough for everyone Everyone is equal and should be treated equally I Hope things improve soon :hugs:

    (Original post by StrawbAri)
    :console:
    That's sad that your medication is tb working anymore. Is there anyway to see your doctor sooner?
    :hugs:
    :hugs: Thankyou Strawbs
    It's not great tbh
    I think so but they'll just tell me to use it for longer to get used to it. Even though I've been on it for 2-3 months now. :/
    :hugs:

    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    Everything has gotten even worse since last night. It's really really bad now. I had to talk to college and my tutor looked like he was going to cry and they were all shocked at what I told them, but still couldn't offer any hope, help, or advice other than 'call 999'. I feel unsafe and alone. Again. All thanks to CAMHS and my brother's temporary doctor who has come to the conclusion after 1 session that there is nothing wrong with him. This is after what he said he was going to do to me, my mum, and the crisis team and had to be taken to hospital by the police twice in less than 20 hours. I'm so all over the place right now

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    Aw no I'm so sorry to hear this.
    :console:
    Feel free to vent to me, im always here if you want someone to talk to
    I really do hope things pick up for you soon, you're so lovely and deserve the best :hugs:

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Saddening result in the election. He worries me, he really does.
    :console:
    Hopefully the congress will stop his crazy ideas from becoming a reality.
    Were all praying for a safe and happy America
    Hope You are ok :hugs:
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    (Original post by FireFreezer77)

    Aw no I'm so sorry to hear this.
    :console:
    Feel free to vent to me, im always here if you want someone to talk to
    I really do hope things pick up for you soon, you're so lovely and deserve the best :hugs:
    Thank you :hugs: I'm calm for the moment, but I might just take you up on that at some point :hugs:
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    So I saw the psychiatrist who said I can't leave the hospital, no even with staff (and I'm not sectioned, but if I ask to leave again he will section me)

    But starting clozapine tonight/tomorrow so fingers crossed I'll be back to the old Noodlzzz soon.
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    I don't think I'm very well at all.
    I think my work have started to notice how I'm starting to go down hill. :hide: Im worried I'm going to **** things up for myself. I can't ****ing do anything right.
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    They're sending him home. I can't believe it.

    TW: tmi, detail, distressing topic
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    He had a knife out earlier, threatening to stab me and my mum, and he stabbed his punching bag 38 times - which is what he wants to do to us. They're sending him ****ing home. I don't feel safe. I can't feel safe. I am genuinely in fear for mine and my mum's lives and the authorities just don't care. 8 times he's tried to kill me, and the last time he promised me that he would stab and kill me. Now he wants to fulfil that promise and they won't even bat an eyelid.

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    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    They're sending him home. I can't believe it.

    TW: tmi, detail, distressing topic
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    He had a knife out earlier, threatening to stab me and my mum, and he stabbed his punching bag 38 times - which is what he wants to do to us. They're sending him ****ing home. I don't feel safe. I can't feel safe. I am genuinely in fear for mine and my mum's lives and the authorities just don't care. 8 times he's tried to kill me, and the last time he promised me that he would stab and kill me. Now he wants to fulfil that promise and they won't even bat an eyelid.


    Wow. Just wow. I am so angry on your behalf right now. That's so downright irresponsible of them :sadnod: I dunno what to say, other than more hugs :jumphug: :jumphug: :jumphug: for all the use they are
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Wow. Just wow. I am so angry on your behalf right now. That's so downright irresponsible of them :sadnod: I dunno what to say, other than more hugs :jumphug: :jumphug: :jumphug: for all the use they are
    I know, all because one single ****ing doctor at CAMHS that has seen him once while he covers for his usual doctor who is on holiday has now decided there's nothing wrong with him whatsoever and he's just playing up and it's just his autism, despite all the hell we've all been through getting them all to admit he has some very serious issues. I think I'm gonna get in touch with my local MP and see if there can be an investigation or something because it just isn't right. It's not fair on us, or him

    Thank you though :hugs: They're more useful to me than you'd think :hugs:
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    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    I know, all because one single ****ing doctor at CAMHS that has seen him once while he covers for his usual doctor who is on holiday has now decided there's nothing wrong with him whatsoever and he's just playing up and it's just his autism, despite all the hell we've all been through getting them all to admit he has some very serious issues. I think I'm gonna get in touch with my local MP and see if there can be an investigation or something because it just isn't right. It's not fair on us, or him

    Thank you though :hugs: They're more useful to me than you'd think :hugs:
    I would also consider putting in a formal complaint about that doctor (if you know their name) to the CAMHS team manager, etc. :sadnod:

    :hugs:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    I would also consider putting in a formal complaint about that doctor (if you know their name) to the CAMHS team manager, etc. :sadnod:

    :hugs:
    I will, but we've done that before and it doesn't do anything :/
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    I think I need professional help, but I am less than confident in its efficacy. The counselling I have had has been rather inconsequential. I've been very, very down lately, due to a long-term relationship ending, and the partner immediately - well, technically beforehand - moving on to someone better than me. I have mild depression in general, I think, but this sort of thing really triggers it. I can't focus on anything, and, well, I do not know the rules as to what you can say on here, but let's just say in terms of my considerations I've gone as low as I can possibly go, and I am scared of what I am capable of.
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    (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
    I think I need professional help, but I am less than confident in its efficacy. The counselling I have had has been rather inconsequential. I've been very, very down lately, due to a long-term relationship ending, and the partner immediately - well, technically beforehand - moving on to someone better than me. I have mild depression in general, I think, but this sort of thing really triggers it. I can't focus on anything, and, well, I do not know the rules as to what you can say on here, but let's just say in terms of my considerations I've gone as low as I can possibly go, and I am scared of what I am capable of.
    Spoiler:
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    If you feel unable to keep yourself safe, you need to reach out for professional help ASAP. If you can't keep yourself safe overnight, get yourself to A&E. If you can keep yourself safe overnight, ring your first port of call (be that GP, a nurse or social worker - whoever it is) first thing in the morning and get an emergency appointment if needed :yes:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
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    If you feel unable to keep yourself safe, you need to reach out for professional help ASAP. If you can't keep yourself safe overnight, get yourself to A&E. If you can keep yourself safe overnight, ring your first port of call (be that GP, a nurse or social worker - whoever it is) first thing in the morning and get an emergency appointment if needed :yes:
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    Honestly I don't think I have the bottle to do anything. Ergo I feel I would waste any professional's time. I dunno what a GP can really do.
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    (Original post by 13 1 20 8 42)
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    Honestly I don't think I have the bottle to do anything. Ergo I feel I would waste any professional's time. I dunno what a GP can really do.

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    Ah, so you don't feel actively suicidal then? Wasn't too sure from your posts. Either way, I hope things pick up for you soon - sounds tough :console: It's hard to say what a GP could realistically do but one has to work with the system we've got, I guess...
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    TLG UPDATE

    Just :fyi: , I'm away from the Internet mostly (if not 100%) from Fri-Sun. I've decided to face my psychotic fear of churches and religious buildings head on, by going on a religious retreat for 2 nights with uni :headfire:

    So don't assume the worst if I'm out of touch and please don't expect to hear from me during those days :jebus:

    Hoping this will have a positive impact on my mental health and maybe even get me out of this episode
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    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    Thank you :hugs: I'm calm for the moment, but I might just take you up on that at some point :hugs:
    No worries :hugs:
    Aw glad to hear it! Feel free I'll open my PM's to you in a minute

    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    So I saw the psychiatrist who said I can't leave the hospital, no even with staff (and I'm not sectioned, but if I ask to leave again he will section me)

    But starting clozapine tonight/tomorrow so fingers crossed I'll be back to the old Noodlzzz soon.
    :console:
    Sorry to hear this, hope thing improve soon
    I'm here if you want someone to talk/vent to

    (Original post by Midnightmemories)
    I don't think I'm very well at all.
    I think my work have started to notice how I'm starting to go down hill. :hide: Im worried I'm going to **** things up for myself. I can't ****ing do anything right.
    Aw no sorry to hear this :console:
    You do many things right You're highly I telligent and a lovely person to be around too
    Feel free to vent to me if you need someone

    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    They're sending him home. I can't believe it.

    TW: tmi, detail, distressing topic
    Spoiler:
    Show




    He had a knife out earlier, threatening to stab me and my mum, and he stabbed his punching bag 38 times - which is what he wants to do to us. They're sending him ****ing home. I don't feel safe. I can't feel safe. I am genuinely in fear for mine and my mum's lives and the authorities just don't care. 8 times he's tried to kill me, and the last time he promised me that he would stab and kill me. Now he wants to fulfil that promise and they won't even bat an eyelid.



    Wow that's wow I dont know what to say! Im shocked!
    Please tell someone asap! This is not right.
    He sounds extremely dangerous in his current state! I think the doctors he saw need to be sacked asap! Wow, hope you're ok

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    TLG UPDATE

    Just :fyi: , I'm away from the Internet mostly (if not 100%) from Fri-Sun. I've decided to face my psychotic fear of churches and religious buildings head on, by going on a religious retreat for 2 nights with uni :headfire:

    So don't assume the worst if I'm out of touch and please don't expect to hear from me during those days :jebus:

    Hoping this will have a positive impact on my mental health and maybe even get me out of this episode
    Good luck TLG You can do it!
    Let us know how you're getting on with it :hugs:
    You're a star!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I've had it a number of times.

    The last few times for me were terrifying. I could "hear" my wife and parents talking as if I was in a coma but I couldn't move, open my eyes, or otherwise let them know that I was aware. I think that sleep paralysis is the scariest thing I've ever been through.

    I found that it seems to happen more if I fall asleep on my back. If I lie on my left side then it's not as frequent.
    Similar to me I tend to feel someone is in the room with me or I feel like I'm calling someone but I'm not actually moving my mouth to speak.

    I tend to get it if I rest on my hand and it goes numb.

    I thought everyone went through it but I read that it's rare which I was surprised about.
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    So i went to the drs, was honest and going back on meds and being reffered into the MH service possibly fir an assessment?
    Was busy focussing on not crying.
    :sigh:

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    I feel like the worst friend ever, I am no good. No wonder why people leave me.
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    my therapist is away for 3 weeks and i think im going to really really struggle to stay stable. since uni started i have been in for 2 days...i dont even know how far behind i am just that i am massively behind. ive been really triggered by having to attend court recently. im overwhelmed really and now i have hearing aids, its much harder to space out to escape. - Audio is how i ground so having everything amplified is stopping me being able to dissociate as easily.

    which you think would be good but actually just makes me super tired and irritable. It means the energy i try to escape from - like body memories and stuff, i cant escape from them. So when i get home and take them out, my head is so noisy. They all chat at once. Dunno how I am supposed to get any uni work done when i cant hear myself think.

    maybe im just tired and itll be better in the morning. i really need to go into uni tomorrow and tell someone how much im struggling and how scared i am of failing. my PT sent me a message 2 weeks ago to arrange a meeting and then disappeared. I dont know how to ask for extensions or special circumstances. Im letting my life blow up all over again.

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    and i keep trying to ignore the fact that an academic setting is such a huge trigger for me because i was sexually assaulted multiple times at school, by fellow students and teachers. It is one of the reasons I did distance learning in the first place. Why did i throw that away to come to uni...where i get panic attacks thinking about being in classroom or alone with a tutor for a meeting.
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    Nighttime, cry time.
 
 
 
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