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Mental Health Support Society XVIII Watch

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    CPN wants me to be assessed for therapy. He was angry about how I was treated while he was gone. Which is something positive.
    • #21
    #21

    I'm tired of lashing out at everyone I love even though I try so hard not to. I don't know what I'm still doing wrong. *sigh*
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm tired of lashing out at everyone I love even though I try so hard not to. I don't know what I'm still doing wrong. *sigh*
    didn't mean to be anon
    • #69
    #69

    Ok long story short, I'm at uni and have been talking to family members about how I've been feeling for the last month or so and they are urging me to see a GP because they think I am clinically depressed.

    I don't know quite what to say to the GP however, does anyone have any tips? Like how do I bring it up? Should I just talk about the physical symptoms or....?
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    The ambulance just turned up, along with a (I think) social worker who was super nice, and they're on their way down to Manchester with my brother. He's happy for it all to be sorted now. The guy (queried social worker) has been working non-stop or about 25 hours trying to secure him a bed, so it's really nice to hear that someone is trying so desperately hard for him. I'm supposed to be going to a uni open day tomorrow, but it's quite a long drive and I'm worried about being exhausted. It's been such a long and incredibly difficult few weeks for me, especially this week, and I just want to rest and maybe go shopping for an hour or something to get out of the house without exhausting myself. I already know it's gonna be my first choice uni, so I'm not too worried about missing it, but my mum won't have it at all. I don't even want to bring up not going, because she'll just yell and make me go anyway :sigh:

    Lol edit: I was wrong, she was fine with it. I told her it was like I could finally breathe and I didn't want to spend my first day of that in pain, exhausted for two weeks afterwards, wandering nervously around somewhere I already knew I wanted to study and she got it. Looking back, our relationship is so much better since I took my year out of college and then went back. I think I might be sleeping almost happily tonight
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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Anyone got any experience with schema therapy? Just back from visiting the CPN and she said she thinks that will be the type of intensive therapy I get after I finish my work with her.

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    Xurrently doing schema therapy myself. On retreat atm so can't write detailed pist but it's the therapy I've needed for a long time

    PM me on Mon n will be able to reply then x

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    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    Haha, that sounds like a lot. At least you slept :laugh:

    I hope the guy you're seeing can help you out a bit with your uni situation. The only thing that helped me when I was in that kind of position was taking a year out before revisiting, which in my experience definitely helped, but we're in different situations so it may well not be an option for you :s

    That sounds good though. I hope he really helps you

    No apology needed. You had all the reason in the world to rant a little :laugh:

    Kinda, I think. Fingers crossed :laugh: He got sectioned yesterday, but is still at home lol. They just got him a bed on a PICU he's been at before, and should be going tonight. Here's hoping they can help!

    Massive hugs :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
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    I left uni in February my first time round but I felt so helpless, lazy, and useless at home that I applied to go to another uni in September of that same year (which was a huge mistake I wasn't in a good place mentally). After getting a 2:2 I rushed into a master's then ended up getting a year extension on my dissertation. After writing it I did nothing for 2 years then when my spouse got a job in a college town I decided to try another degree, but one that led to a good job. Now I'm failing at that but I'm almost 30, I can't exactly take much more time out. :sad:

    When I was a kid I wanted to be in the army. Teenage me wanted to be a police officer. Both completely impossible now :cry2: I thought this degree will lead to a job where I'm helping people, enjoying it, and getting paid well but everything is ****ed up again. I don't know what to do.


    So glad to hear about your brother. It must be a huge weight off your shoulders. I wouldn't worry too much about not seeing the university you want to go to. I only bothered to look at Cambridge (got pooled) but the university I went to was awesome in it's own way, I'm sure as long as you're not doing something like applying for St. Andrews and expecting the nightlife of London you should be fine.
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Xurrently doing schema therapy myself. On retreat atm so can't write detailed pist but it's the therapy I've needed for a long time

    PM me on Mon n will be able to reply then x

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    Will do, thanks! :hugs: talk soon :yep: x

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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    My wife isn't the best person to speak to about them. She keeps telling me I should be used to them by now and I'm stupid for hiding and crying as she doesn't think they're real. I went to the uni counseling service for someone to talk to and she said she was in over her head so referred me to this other non-university connected guy who I saw today and he seems great but otherwise I'm pretty low on actual RL support.
    Your wife is less than non-supportive. I'd describe her treatment of you as abusive.

    That definition aside, when has belittling someone ever positively motivated them?

    You deserve to be treated so much better than you are being treated
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    (Original post by ~Tara~)
    Your wife is less than non-supportive. I'd describe her treatment of you as abusive.

    That definition aside, when has belittling someone ever positively motivated them?

    You deserve to be treated so much better than you are being treated
    I'm not sure she's being abusive exactly. I think she just doesn't understand. She never got bullied at school so has little experience of how much insults can hurt. Not to mention ones where they know everything about you and can fully exploit all weaknesses. I don't know how to get used to them.

    I had her come to a few of my psychiatrist appointments a couple of years ago, and I told her how her shouting just makes me feel more upset and makes the voices louder, She promised not to do that anymore. Lasted about 2 months. :sigh: It has been suggested to me that she fears what she doesn't understand so I can't really blame her.
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    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    The ambulance just turned up, along with a (I think) social worker who was super nice, and they're on their way down to Manchester with my brother. He's happy for it all to be sorted now. The guy (queried social worker) has been working non-stop or about 25 hours trying to secure him a bed, so it's really nice to hear that someone is trying so desperately hard for him. I'm supposed to be going to a uni open day tomorrow, but it's quite a long drive and I'm worried about being exhausted. It's been such a long and incredibly difficult few weeks for me, especially this week, and I just want to rest and maybe go shopping for an hour or something to get out of the house without exhausting myself. I already know it's gonna be my first choice uni, so I'm not too worried about missing it, but my mum won't have it at all. I don't even want to bring up not going, because she'll just yell and make me go anyway :sigh:

    Lol edit: I was wrong, she was fine with it. I told her it was like I could finally breathe and I didn't want to spend my first day of that in pain, exhausted for two weeks afterwards, wandering nervously around somewhere I already knew I wanted to study and she got it. Looking back, our relationship is so much better since I took my year out of college and then went back. I think I might be sleeping almost happily tonight
    So glad he's safe now. Take time for your self, definitely x
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm not sure she's being abusive exactly. I think she just doesn't understand. She never got bullied at school so has little experience of how much insults can hurt. Not to mention ones where they know everything about you and can fully exploit all weaknesses. I don't know how to get used to them.

    I had her come to a few of my psychiatrist appointments a couple of years ago, and I told her how her shouting just makes me feel more upset and makes the voices louder, She promised not to do that anymore. Lasted about 2 months. :sigh: It has been suggested to me that she fears what she doesn't understand so I can't really blame her.
    It's emotionally abusive which is a crime in the U.K.

    Okay..put it this way. Racism is often seen as stemming from fear of the unknown. Would you excuse racist behaviour?

    Helping others is not supposed to hurt us. Making allowances for others is not supposed to hurt us. I don't know your background but I know that's being abused teaches us to ourselves second. Especially if we or the abuser frames the abuse under helping the abuser in some way. But we aren't and don't need to be sacrificial lambs.

    What is your wife doing to understand? It's not an alien language, even without personal experience there is so much literature out there now. Basically no excuse to be ignorant. My partner had quintessential idyllic childhood. So he has no understanding of my cold abusive life. So he read up and he listened. He allowed me to define what's was safe and what wasn't

    We get so used to being the problem we attribute everything to ourselves. Other people have faults and things to work on too. My partner needing to work on his sensitivity sometimes and your wife needs to learn how not to be a bully.
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    And apologies for being firm.. feeling really protective of you and I really want you to know how valuable you are. You don't deserve this treatment nor should you put up with it because she might have some empathy issues. You don't have to sacrifice yourself to help or teach her. If you asking her to meet you halfway hasn't changed much then she's not willing to sacrifice for you. Or to do the hard self reflection stuff. It's much easier for her to say well you're the one with the mental health problem so it's obviously you not me
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    Oh and if that doesn't really help much.

    You don't actually need personal experience of being bullied to understand that being mean hurts. Aside from the fact children as young as 5 understand this fact as a basic..aside from that, she has eyes and can actually see the effect of her words. Unless she is actual genuine psychopath, she will see your response and generate some empathy. She just justifies her behaviour or doesn't care that it hurts you.

    We would all like to believe that if someone truly understood their effect on us then they couldn't possibly treat us this way. It's a much harder truth to swallow to acknowledge they are fully aware of their impact and may enjoy the power they feel in belittling or otherwise hurting us. They may feel justified. It's to correct you somehow.
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    No rush yet but any more secret santa-ers?

    Got eight of you so far! :woo:
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    No rush yet but any more secret santa-ers?

    Got eight of you so far! :woo:
    I keep forgetting to PM you... PM me a reminder? :blush:
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    So on Wednesday i was honest with the dr and she said shed refer md for a MH assessment thing.
    Thought this would take ages, got home from work tonight to a letter saying to phone for an appointment.

    Googled the address and theres only 2 teams that work from that address, complex care team and crisis team
    This is blowing up so big

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    (Original post by furryface12)
    No rush yet but any more secret santa-ers?

    Got eight of you so far! :woo:
    I live 4,000 miles away unfortunately :cry:
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    (Original post by PandaWho)
    So on Wednesday i was honest with the dr and she said shed refer md for a MH assessment thing.
    Thought this would take ages, got home from work tonight to a letter saying to phone for an appointment.

    Googled the address and theres only 2 teams that work from that address, complex care team and crisis team
    This is blowing up so big

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    Maybe they send all their post from one address? Correct me if I've been mistaken but I know with my rheumatology appointments are "based" in one place but are actually held in another (my old consultant who referred me to him managed to pull some strings and got me on the outreach clinic list, but it wasn't clear in the original letter that was the case.)

    I think they might have decided to do something similar? Or maybe they've decided they want to assess the situation and then descale as needed?

    :hugs: whatever they've decided to do they've go to your best interests at heart. It may seem that it's OTT now, but maybe it's for the best if they've decided to go that route, it might be they're trying to get you seen as quick as they can so you can benefit quicker. :jumphug:
    --

    Wrist is completely ****ed now. It's been above normal pain for nearly a week now and nothing is helping. Just wish that something could be done :cry:
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    (Original post by ~Tara~)
    It's emotionally abusive which is a crime in the U.K.

    Okay..put it this way. Racism is often seen as stemming from fear of the unknown. Would you excuse racist behaviour?

    Helping others is not supposed to hurt us. Making allowances for others is not supposed to hurt us. I don't know your background but I know that's being abused teaches us to ourselves second. Especially if we or the abuser frames the abuse under helping the abuser in some way. But we aren't and don't need to be sacrificial lambs.

    What is your wife doing to understand? It's not an alien language, even without personal experience there is so much literature out there now. Basically no excuse to be ignorant. My partner had quintessential idyllic childhood. So he has no understanding of my cold abusive life. So he read up and he listened. He allowed me to define what's was safe and what wasn't

    We get so used to being the problem we attribute everything to ourselves. Other people have faults and things to work on too. My partner needing to work on his sensitivity sometimes and your wife needs to learn how not to be a bully.
    I hate it when she shouts at me for reacting to the voices, but I don't think that's emotional abuse - I know she loves me and I love her. But it's like she's super logical. if I mention the government doing things she shouts at me not because she's abusive but because she thinks it will persuade me to forget about the government. It doesn't work but I don't think she knows any other way of dealing with the problem. Most of the time when the voices are shouting at me I just want a cuddle and to talk to her - she'll give me a cuddle in bed but will be playing on the DS while I lie there crying. I would love for her to talk to me about anything but she won't - I keep asking and she never complies.That does bother me a lot but I don't know how to make her change. I tried having her talk to my psychiatrist, I tried sending her Mind pdfs, I even got her to watch that video with Anderson Cooper on youtube - she sees it all but doesn't change.

    Sorry, I kind of rambled there.
 
 
 
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