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How has mental illness affected your life? Watch

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    (Original post by IndigoRockGirl)
    My mother had schizophrenia from the time she was about 10 to the time she died when I ws 14, and it stopped me from having a childhood : / Also, I have had depression and anxiety for some time now, and it has affected every aspect of my life; social life, school etc. x
    same, except mine has biploar :/
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    (Original post by Roo92)
    I have struggled with bipolar for quite a while now, im 18 now. Through various hospitalizations, suicide attempts, the disruption of my education, the imploding of much cherished relationships, embarrassments and more I'm still here. I'm in my third year of sixth form, having had to take an extra year since I failed Biology, I now have a conditional offer to read English at Oxford. Things are neutral, but I'm well aware of the nature of what I have, and often have slip ups. I'm not saying if you persevere things will work out because who knows, unfortunately due to seeing what my disease has done to others ( and I do call it a disease because as much as I love the productivity my high's give me, It has almost killed me) I've not had as much freedom to lean on people whenever I want to. This makes me feel sad, and I do hope I don't continue to have any kind of loneliness, but you can find yourself having to make sacrifices. Who knows, maybe it'll kill me, but while I have control (perhaps due to medication and therapy) I will keep going despite the loneliness that has come from me trying to preserve relationships. It's not because I think the world is particularly brilliant, or because I'm against suicide, but its because sometimes good things happen to me (Oxford for example) and it gives me reasons to continue. Find reasons where you can. Maybe you relapse, maybe you don't, but look for little things and if things don't work out you know you've done what you can, you can feel sure of that. Hope I've helped and not offended anyone.
    President Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Vincent Van Gogh were all biploar. Stay strong
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    It's a bad thing meeting the people you idolize... not at the time. At the time, it's the best thing ever. But when it's over... Oh god. Wish I could go back to Friday for it all to happen again, completely gutted that it's all over! Memories are NOT enough, no matter what anyone says!!
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    I went to my GP today and I was so pissed off because they screwed up my appointment time and my doctor didn't see me until near closing. I took a questionnaire and that's it. All he said was that it was worrying that I've had suicidal thoughts.

    He won't believe that I'm depressed I know it! He'll just say that I'm really sad. I'll have to keep a small diary until I see him on Thursday. I need to know the diagnosis...
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    (Original post by Asiko)
    I went to my GP today and I was so pissed off because they screwed up my appointment time and my doctor didn't see me until near closing. I took a questionnaire and that's it. All he said was that it was worrying that I've had suicidal thoughts.

    He won't believe that I'm depressed I know it! He'll just say that I'm really sad. I'll have to keep a small diary until I see him on Thursday. I need to know the diagnosis...
    Don't bank on it. I've been seeing doctors 3 years and still haven't really got a diagnosis.
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    I have a feeling he won't give me on. I don't know why I want on so badly. Maybe it's because secretly I still like being unique, and this is making me unique. That's a sick thought. Maybe because just need some confirmation.
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    #48

    Anxiety (mainly social), depression, derealization, depersonalization, unstable moods, certain skitzophrenic/shizoid (or something) tendencies, sexual repression, academic under-achiever = me viewed in the worst possible light.

    Creative, intelligent, interesting, charismatic (when in the right mood), determined, free thinker, productive (writing books and making art etc)= me in the best possible light.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anxiety (mainly social), depression, derealization, depersonalization, unstable moods, certain skitzophrenic/shizoid (or something) tendencies, sexual repression, academic under-achiever = me viewed in the worst possible light.

    Creative, intelligent, interesting, charismatic (when in the right mood), determined, free thinker, productive (writing books and making art etc)= me in the best possible light.
    Is that bipolar?
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    (Original post by Liquidus Zeromus)
    Is that bipolar?
    Don't think so at all. Sounds quite a lot like borderline personality disorder tho. Tbh it seems like there's a real conceptual-diagnostic problem concerning BPD and bipolar disorder, the differences, comorbidity, overlap etc.

    But I really need to stop reading about this stuff. But it's so interesting. D:

    I'm having a really good period atm. I've even become less worried I'll regress back to the wreck I was a fortnight ago. I certainly hope so cos I will be PISSED OFF if that happens. (I think perhaps my problem was I had a total lack of strong social support group which is a massive contributor to mental + emotional stability. But I have somewhere to go at the moment and a purpose that's being constantly reaffirmed. This is important cos I often have a really unstable sense of what the **** I exist for and so on. Blahblahblah.)
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    yes, i am 23 and have a form of ocd pretty much all my life when i look back but when i was 18 anorexia struck and my ocd turned to food, im still ill, hate my self and cant bear living. dont let it become part of your life, listen to friends and family who are trying to help, after 5 years theres no forseable way to 'happy' again. live and love life.
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      (Original post by Comeheretellme)
      At the end of August last year, I began to feel really paranoid about my health; I was constantly testing my self, reading symptoms of illnesses online and I was convinced I had a killer disease. Then a few days later, I started to feel sick, as if I had a flu or something, I felt really weak and I felt like I had lost weight; all this made me even more concerned and I started to think about death constantly and I was convinced that I have a few months to live or something. On the same night, I was painting my nails, just before I was going to bed, then I started to feel really cold, and I started trembling-so I thought I was just tired. I waited for the nail polish to dry, and headed to bed. But I was still trembling-I could feel a panic attack coming (I've had several since I was 10) I went down stairs and started pacing up and down etc until my mum took me outside for some fresh air and she supported me.

      A few days after, I started getting some chest pains, this finally resulted in me going to see my GP-something which I haven't needed to do for several years, and she diagnosed me with acid reflux and gave me my first prescription medicine; gaviscon tablets(quite disappointing considering I could easily purchase it my self at Boots or something). But it didn't help, and I was getting more and more worried as I was before. I then started to automatically tremble, get chest palpitations, shooting pains in my chest and breathlessness, back and neck pains et cetera. But one day, someone on TSR was complaining about 'shooting back pains' I looked at what he had to say, and I told him of my experiences of shooting pains, and he suggested I was stresses-something which hadn't ever crossed my mind because I used to think it was just a mental condition. I quickly looked at the symptoms of stress and 90% were the things I was experiencing both mentally and physically. For a few weeks, I felt reassured and I tried to de-stress myself, but I have had a lot of exams and the pressure was intense seeing as I am in year 11. And then just as I thought I was about to get better, the stress kicked in again and I started panicking about my health. My parents just think I am a major hypochondriac; but the hypochondria and stress were like a vicious circle because the stress symptoms were making me worried health wise and the worrying severed stress.

      Anyway, I am having a relapse of stress right now-convinced I have a disease. But thank goodness for this thread. I looked up at the symptoms of anxiety (I used to dismiss it because like stress, I thought it was just physical) and I can tell you, I've pretty much experienced most of them; the weird sensations on my skin, fatigue sometimes, the paranoia of my health, getting angry quickly, et cetera. I now have hope. And I think that being 15, my GP dismissed the possibility of anxiety/stress due to my age. It's such a shame.

      Excuse the essay, I just had to let it out. It's already making me feel better
      I suffer from health anxiety too. I've had attacks of it over the last few years of my life (apparently because I had a serious illness as a teenager, I was always a worrier even befor that and so the illness has reinforced ideas in my mind) My parents think I'm just a hypochondriac too
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      I was wondering (and I hope you guys don't mind me asking), do you often get relapses, say, that are caused by stress?

      I ask because my depression has been pretty stable for the past 3 months but now I can feel myself slipping again, and I'm not too sure how to stop it in its tracks..
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      (Original post by ~Tasha~)
      I was wondering (and I hope you guys don't mind me asking), do you often get relapses, say, that are caused by stress?

      I ask because my depression has been pretty stable for the past 3 months but now I can feel myself slipping again, and I'm not too sure how to stop it in its tracks..
      I'm in the middle of a fairly major relapse, triggered in part by stress (as well as other stuff). Been like this for a month now. It's pretty hideous. I'm lucky that work and uni are being very helpful and understanding

      I'm not too sure what to suggest, other than to fight it by whatever means works best for you. It's OK to give in sometimes but don't give in completely. Do things you enjoy and hold on to the positives in life :hugs:
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      (Original post by ~Tasha~)
      I was wondering (and I hope you guys don't mind me asking), do you often get relapses, say, that are caused by stress?

      I ask because my depression has been pretty stable for the past 3 months but now I can feel myself slipping again, and I'm not too sure how to stop it in its tracks..
      Stress does horrible things to me. Even simple little things like filling out a form for something can trigger very bad symptoms.

      Are you on any medication? You could ask for a temporary increase to get you through the bad patch. Or if you're seeing a talk therapist you could ask to see them more frequently for now. Other things are probably just to keep doing what you normally would do, don't let it get in the way of things because once you start giving in there things tend to get even worse ime.
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      (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
      I'm in the middle of a fairly major relapse, triggered in part by stress (as well as other stuff). Been like this for a month now. It's pretty hideous. I'm lucky that work and uni are being very helpful and understanding

      I'm not too sure what to suggest, other than to fight it by whatever means works best for you. It's OK to give in sometimes but don't give in completely. Do things you enjoy and hold on to the positives in life :hugs:
      Hey, thanks for your reply I'm sorry that you're in a relapse atm :hugs: , I'm hoping I've got a good grade in Health (never got a good grade in Sociology :/) otherwise I can see myself breaking down :/. But I'll try to do things I like - luckily I can still concentrate on reading.
      Thanks again btw

      (Original post by Sabertooth)
      Stress does horrible things to me. Even simple little things like filling out a form for something can trigger very bad symptoms.

      Are you on any medication? You could ask for a temporary increase to get you through the bad patch. Or if you're seeing a talk therapist you could ask to see them more frequently for now. Other things are probably just to keep doing what you normally would do, don't let it get in the way of things because once you start giving in there things tend to get even worse ime.
      Thanks for the reply
      Yeah I'm on venlafaxine and I'm off to the Docs tomorrow anyway so I'll ask her. I've recently finished my Counselling but I might give her a call and see if I can see her again.
      Thanks for the advice
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      I had/ have serious anxiety problems. When I was 14/15 I was having 'panic attacks' [more like psychotic episodes =/] where I wouldn't know where I was, I hallucinated etc. Horrible, horrible period of time. I took high doses of painmedication because it helped - and I really didn't care if I overdosed.
      But I battled it I have bad anxiety still, though nobody would know it. I haven't had a panic attack for over 4 years, and I never abuse medication anymore.
      It's made me quite a cold, selfish and unsympathetic person though. I think I put so much effort into controlling my emotions and being in charge that I find it hard to let go of that. Also, I have to take time for myself, I know how things have to be to make sure I don't fall back into my old ways so that can be very selfish. I want things my way, no discussion. And unsympathetic because I got through it, and I have little sympathy for those who can't seem to do that. I hate myself for thinking that way, but I can't seem to change it =/ I think there's a lot of anger left in me, for not having the help and support I needed and just for the fact that I had to go through that at what should have been some of the best times of my life. So yeh, bit bitter. But really, nobody knows now. And whenever I think I can't do anything, I just think if you can beat that, you can do anything.
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      (Original post by ~Tasha~)
      Hey, thanks for your reply I'm sorry that you're in a relapse atm :hugs: , I'm hoping I've got a good grade in Health (never got a good grade in Sociology :/) otherwise I can see myself breaking down :/. But I'll try to do things I like - luckily I can still concentrate on reading.
      Thanks again btw



      Thanks for the reply
      Yeah I'm on venlafaxine and I'm off to the Docs tomorrow anyway so I'll ask her. I've recently finished my Counselling but I might give her a call and see if I can see her again.
      Thanks for the advice
      Reaching out to people is definitely very important if you think you're sliding. Don't be afraid to ask for help
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      Mental illness is for n00bs, chronic illness is where it's at! :cool:

      Think a lot of sufferers of more 'mild' mental illness can be helped/cured through fairly elemental therapy/coaching e.g. lightening process, rather than wacking a label on them and dosing them up with all sorts of meds.. many of which seem to have some fairly deleterious effects
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      (Original post by ~Tasha~)
      I was wondering (and I hope you guys don't mind me asking), do you often get relapses, say, that are caused by stress?

      I ask because my depression has been pretty stable for the past 3 months but now I can feel myself slipping again, and I'm not too sure how to stop it in its tracks..
      I agree with Sabretooth and The_Lonely_Goatherd. Along much the same lines I'd say keep on doing the stuff you normally do whilst perhpas temporarily increasing medication or therapy just to keep it under control. Also good to remember that it isn't really who you are, so any bad thoughts don't actually define you, but at the same time its nothing to be ashamed about if you do still occasionally have them. And don't worry about it too much - you've beaten it before and once you've found a way out of that pattern the first time it's much easier to do it again, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

      Currently worrying about slipping again myself atm, but its been around two weeks since my last relapse (which usually lasts around a day or so) which means the periods in which I'm okay in between are steadily increasing. As I've mentioned in previous posts I felt pretty powerless against it day in day out for one and a half years, and yet I've now managed to break the habit and enjoy myself + be productive with the exception of the occasional (now fortnightly) relapse day. I think one of the key factors is definitely determination, and focusing on aspects of your life outside the illness which matter.
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      I know I posted about my anxiety on here before but I didn't touch on some other issues I've been experiencing, which as of late have been increasing.

      Since the beginning of Year 13 some of my lows have been very low for such peripheral reasons. When I feel this way it's immobilising and I feel I can't do anything. It's like a numbness and inability to react in a sad or happy way but at the same time I feel incredibly sad and hopeless inside. I go through periods when it doesn't happen so often, but recently it's been more frequent and I've been having other side affects - I've lost a lot of weight recently without trying and it happened pretty quickly as well. I also get frequent headaches and pains that I can't explain, and I'm pretty much always exhausted. I was like this for a time in Year 12 too but that did subside, but like I said it's back again. On Friday I was in a group of people, and when I found something amusing I would laugh but I still felt sad. It was a bit like my body was doing something I wasn't feeling. I could talk to other people and smile but I still felt very down. It was weird. It keeps on happening to me. And I often feel tearful but I don't cry, until eventually it all comes out in one big cry. My anxieties are still there but this is overriding it. I never tell anyone my problems, and I feel like they're now all accumilating to a head and I'm worried what's going to happen, because some of my thoughts are scaring me. This all said, sometimes I am capable of feeling very happy, sometimes furious over minor things, and sometimes I just feel indifferent and a bit down (which I would say is most of the time). I don't want to get help because I can't see why on Earth anyone would want to here me whine and whinge, plus I don't think there's anyone I trust enough. Moreover, I don't want people to see me as weak, which I fear they already do.

      Sorry, that wasn't very well written. I don't feel too well at the moment. I'm going to try to eat something to see if it might make me feel better.
     
     
     
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