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    i want a pig
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    One morning while making breakfast, a man walks up to his wife and pinches her on her butt and says, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
    While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.
    The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."
    This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis.
    With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your brother.
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    here is the most awesome one:

    Two old ladies were outside their nursing home enjoying a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking. The other lady said ’What’s that?’
    ‘It’s a condom, it stops my cigarette from getting wet. You can get them at any chemist. Replied the first lady. The next day the other lady hobbles to the local chemist and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist looks at her strangely ( she is, after all, well over eighty years old) but politely asks what brand she prefers. The lady replied ‘ It doesn’t matter as long as it fits a Camel.’ The pharmacist fainted.
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    :toofunny:
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    I loved the last one .. you?
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    definatly the best
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    (Original post by Lord Hysteria)
    here is the most awesome one:

    Two old ladies were outside their nursing home enjoying a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking. The other lady said ’What’s that?’
    ‘It’s a condom, it stops my cigarette from getting wet. You can get them at any chemist. Replied the first lady. The next day the other lady hobbles to the local chemist and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist looks at her strangely ( she is, after all, well over eighty years old) but politely asks what brand she prefers. The lady replied ‘ It doesn’t matter as long as it fits a Camel.’ The pharmacist fainted.
    :rofl: that is brilliant
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    (Original post by olileauk)
    :rofl: that is brilliant
    I am glad you liked them! Makes me laugh always.

    I am Liam btw.
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    (Original post by dh00001)
    i want a pig
    he's not as active as he used to be though :p:
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    (Original post by Lord Hysteria)
    One morning while making breakfast, a man walks up to his wife and pinches her on her butt and says, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
    While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.
    The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."
    This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis.
    With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your brother.
    i don't get that
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    (Original post by Pseudomuse)
    he's not as active as he used to be though :p:
    you changed your name!
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    She is having an affair with his brother - saying if we (him and her) has sex more often ...
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    (Original post by Lord Hysteria)
    She is having an affair with his brother - saying if we (him and her) has sex more often ...
    oh i seeeeee
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    wtf??? What happened to the name??? :cry:

    where is Phoenix ? :cry:
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    (Original post by dh00001)
    you changed your name!
    yup, i've grown out of phoenix
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    I want phoenix ! :cry:
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    (Original post by Pseudomuse)
    yup, i've grown out of phoenix
    you malted?
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Pseudomuse)
    yup, i've grown out of phoenix
    Thought you said you weren't going to change your username again if they bent the rules to let you get Phoenix? :p:
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    (Original post by dh00001)
    you malted?
    ah - yes - your +ve rep - I forgot last night - you not sneaky mod!
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    thanks
    im very sneaky :ninja:
 
 
 
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