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    (Original post by toasteh)
    I know I posted about my anxiety on here before but I didn't touch on some other issues I've been experiencing, which as of late have been increasing.

    Since the beginning of Year 13 some of my lows have been very low for such peripheral reasons. When I feel this way it's immobilising and I feel I can't do anything. It's like a numbness and inability to react in a sad or happy way but at the same time I feel incredibly sad and hopeless inside. I go through periods when it doesn't happen so often, but recently it's been more frequent and I've been having other side affects - I've lost a lot of weight recently without trying and it happened pretty quickly as well. I also get frequent headaches and pains that I can't explain, and I'm pretty much always exhausted. I was like this for a time in Year 12 too but that did subside, but like I said it's back again. On Friday I was in a group of people, and when I found something amusing I would laugh but I still felt sad. It was a bit like my body was doing something I wasn't feeling. I could talk to other people and smile but I still felt very down. It was weird. It keeps on happening to me. And I often feel tearful but I don't cry, until eventually it all comes out in one big cry. My anxieties are still there but this is overriding it. I never tell anyone my problems, and I feel like they're now all accumilating to a head and I'm worried what's going to happen, because some of my thoughts are scaring me. This all said, sometimes I am capable of feeling very happy, sometimes furious over minor things, and sometimes I just feel indifferent and a bit down (which I would say is most of the time). I don't want to get help because I can't see why on Earth anyone would want to here me whine and whinge, plus I don't think there's anyone I trust enough. Moreover, I don't want people to see me as weak, which I fear they already do.

    Sorry, that wasn't very well written. I don't feel too well at the moment. I'm going to try to eat something to see if it might make me feel better.
    It sounds like you could really do with some help. Mental illness is not a sign of weakness, people who think that don't know what they're talking about. There are medications and talking therapies which could help you with your anxiety, I'd suggest going to your gp and speaking to them about it. I know it's scary the idea of telling someone, but it really can make a world of difference.

    This is directed to everyone in this thread: if you're feeling low and there's no-one in real life that you can/want to talk to, you can always post in the depression society, chances are there'll be someone who's been through some of the same stuff as you and might be able to help. Or if you just want to let off some steam that's fine too.
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    (Original post by toasteh)
    I know I posted about my anxiety on here before but I didn't touch on some other issues I've been experiencing, which as of late have been increasing.

    Since the beginning of Year 13 some of my lows have been very low for such peripheral reasons. When I feel this way it's immobilising and I feel I can't do anything. It's like a numbness and inability to react in a sad or happy way but at the same time I feel incredibly sad and hopeless inside. I go through periods when it doesn't happen so often, but recently it's been more frequent and I've been having other side affects - I've lost a lot of weight recently without trying and it happened pretty quickly as well. I also get frequent headaches and pains that I can't explain, and I'm pretty much always exhausted. I was like this for a time in Year 12 too but that did subside, but like I said it's back again. On Friday I was in a group of people, and when I found something amusing I would laugh but I still felt sad. It was a bit like my body was doing something I wasn't feeling. I could talk to other people and smile but I still felt very down. It was weird. It keeps on happening to me. And I often feel tearful but I don't cry, until eventually it all comes out in one big cry. My anxieties are still there but this is overriding it. I never tell anyone my problems, and I feel like they're now all accumilating to a head and I'm worried what's going to happen, because some of my thoughts are scaring me. This all said, sometimes I am capable of feeling very happy, and sometimes I just feel indifferent to everything (which I would say is most of the time). I don't want to get help because I can't see why on Earth anyone would want to here me whine and whinge, plus I don't think there's anyone I trust enough. Moreover, I don't want people to see me as weak, which I fear they already do.

    Sorry, that wasn't very well written. I don't feel too well at the moment. I'm going to try to eat something to see if it might make me feel better.
    :jumphug:

    I can't quite remember whereabouts on this thread your post about anxiety is to re-read it :o: Sounds like you're in a lot of turmoil though :console:

    Smiling and laughing even when feeling sad can be a defense mechanism for some people (certainly for me, at least) and I think it is possible to feel happiness even in the midst of depression/anxiety. I've been in a psychotic episode for about a month now but there have been moment (either a few hours or sometimes even a day) where I've felt happy and/or very peaceful :yes:

    I think you should try and confide in someone because it's not healthy to bottle stuff up, particularly if your thoughts are scaring you :hugs: Reaching out and asking for help isn't weak at all: it actually takes a lot of guts and is far harder than pretending things aren't happening or keeping things to yourself. It can be difficult to know who to trust but someone health-based like a GP or a counsellor would be a good starting point, because they would be in a better position to know how to help you. You also don't have to feel bad about whinging to them because that's what their job is and they get paid for it (if you're uber-paranoid about that kinda stuff. I sometimes feel bad for my psychiatric nurse but at the end of the day, that's what she's there for and what she signed up for).

    You can always PM me, if that would help at all
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    Just wanted to say thanks to the people who helped me the other day
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    I feel a bit silly writing this, so much so that I have been staring at the page for about 5 minutes. I finally got a phone call! It was good, spoke to a doctor who actually knew stuff (which I honestly didn't think existed in the NHS, after past experiences) and she really thought that meds was the best option for me, whilst she puts me on an 'urgent case' list (or something like that) to see a psychologist.
    When I first went to the doctor with all this stuff (2 years ago!) I was offered meds but I said no because I was scared of not feeling in control of stuff. Like, I want to feel the anxiety and the obsessions because it makes me feel in control and safe. But now I've realised that I'm not actually in control of it at all because there are some situations where it's just not appropriate to have these obsessions, and it makes me look and feel like an idiot. Then there's having to try to explain etc etc
    So I'm thinking about meds. She's ringing me at the end of the week to give me an appointment but also to see what I say about taking medication (I think it would be an SSRI, like Luvox I think)
    The point of my rambling here is that I'm unsure whether to take it or not. I'd have to get over my fear of tablets first, which is part of my problem with choking anyway so it would help. I'm most scared of it interfering with my exams, which start next month. My anxiety really comes in useful because it makes me revise loads, but also my obsessions become almost unbearable during exam stress. So I don't know. Any advice?

    My first 2 posts in this thread are here
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    (Original post by eve1293)
    I feel a bit silly writing this, so much so that I have been staring at the page for about 5 minutes. I finally got a phone call! It was good, spoke to a doctor who actually knew stuff (which I honestly didn't think existed in the NHS, after past experiences) and she really thought that meds was the best option for me, whilst she puts me on an 'urgent case' list (or something like that) to see a psychologist.
    When I first went to the doctor with all this stuff (2 years ago!) I was offered meds but I said no because I was scared of not feeling in control of stuff. Like, I want to feel the anxiety and the obsessions because it makes me feel in control and safe. But now I've realised that I'm not actually in control of it at all because there are some situations where it's just not appropriate to have these obsessions, and it makes me look and feel like an idiot. Then there's having to try to explain etc etc
    So I'm thinking about meds. She's ringing me at the end of the week to give me an appointment but also to see what I say about taking medication (I think it would be an SSRI, like Luvox I think)
    The point of my rambling here is that I'm unsure whether to take it or not. I'd have to get over my fear of tablets first, which is part of my problem with choking anyway so it would help. I'm most scared of it interfering with my exams, which start next month. My anxiety really comes in useful because it makes me revise loads, but also my obsessions become almost unbearable during exam stress. So I don't know. Any advice?

    My first 2 posts in this thread are here
    Glad to hear you spoke to a nice doctor

    I'm sceptical of meds as well and don't like not being in control, or handing control over to something else in that way. At the end of the day though, anything that makes your life more manageable in the short-term - especially in the case of exams - can ultimately only be a good thing
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Glad to hear you spoke to a nice doctor

    I'm sceptical of meds as well and don't like not being in control, or handing control over to something else in that way. At the end of the day though, anything that makes your life more manageable in the short-term - especially in the case of exams - can ultimately only be a good thing
    Thanks
    I think I'll give them a trial, I can always stop them before exams (hopefully) if it has a negative effect on me
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    (Original post by eve1293)
    Thanks
    I think I'll give them a trial, I can always stop them before exams (hopefully) if it has a negative effect on me
    Talk to the doctor about your worries and maybe you can negotiate something. My care team know I'm dead against medication but we came to a compromise: I'd give various different pills a go in order to find the right one, but they keep me on a lower dosage that doesn't affect my day-to-day life. They're quite understanding about and respectful about it :yes:

    If it helps at all: the only reason I was physically able to get towards/through my Finals was being put on Prozac for about six weeks :yes:
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    Has anyone here ever seen a psychiatrist, because ive got an apt to see one on thursday and i'm kinda nervous :s
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    (Original post by orc7)
    Has anyone here ever seen a psychiatrist, because ive got an apt to see one on thursday and i'm kinda nervous :s
    :hello:

    Try not to be nervous! They're good at listening and usually quite sympathetic in my experience (seen three different ones: two here and one in Sri Lanka) :yes:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Talk to the doctor about your worries and maybe you can negotiate something. My care team know I'm dead against medication but we came to a compromise: I'd give various different pills a go in order to find the right one, but they keep me on a lower dosage that doesn't affect my day-to-day life. They're quite understanding about and respectful about it :yes:

    If it helps at all: the only reason I was physically able to get towards/through my Finals was being put on Prozac for about six weeks :yes:
    Thank you it really helps to hear that they are willing to compromise with me, I hope it works out. My best friend is on antidepressants and he has reacted amazingly with them and has done really well in college so I have faith in at least trying it
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    :hello:

    Try not to be nervous! They're good at listening and usually quite sympathetic in my experience (seen three different ones: two here and one in Sri Lanka) :yes:
    Hi
    Thanks for responding, can I just ask, basically i'm not really the 'open up' type of person and it's really hard for me to talk to people about personal stuff, i know I have to be honest and open but like I don't really get how it works, will the psychiatrist ask me questions? Or do I basically just have to sit there and talk the whole time...
    Ive been to counselling/therapy and I found it very hard because the person never actually said anything really and it was all just a bit difficult and awkward.
    I know obviously seeing a psychiatrist is different... right? Haha
    Sorry for the rant...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You know what the worst thing is? People saying I just need to try harder, that depression is a state of mind you need to pull yourself out harder to get out of it.
    That's what my mum keeps saying. She just doesn't understand, and it just makes it worse. She keeps nagging at me to do work, or to get out of my room. She doesn't realise how hard that actually is. I physically cannot do it.
    I really hope this medication works...or else I don't know what I'm going to do. Especially when I start uni in september...if I get the grades...which is looking unlikely.
    This has screwed up my life.
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    (Original post by orc7)
    Hi
    Thanks for responding, can I just ask, basically i'm not really the 'open up' type of person and it's really hard for me to talk to people about personal stuff, i know I have to be honest and open but like I don't really get how it works, will the psychiatrist ask me questions? Or do I basically just have to sit there and talk the whole time...
    Ive been to counselling/therapy and I found it very hard because the person never actually said anything really and it was all just a bit difficult and awkward.
    I know obviously seeing a psychiatrist is different... right? Haha
    Sorry for the rant...
    A psychiatrist works different to a counsellor: the psychiatrist will be wanting to make a diagnosis (something counsellors have less authority to do) and to prescribe medication, if necessary. So they will spend time asking you various questions. Some of these will only require short answers, others might need more elaboration. He might then pick up on things you say and answer things from that.

    It also depends on why you're being sent there. In my case it was then-suspected psychosis, so I could tell he was working through a check list of different psychotic disorders with the questions he was asking :yes:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    A psychiatrist works different to a counsellor: the psychiatrist will be wanting to make a diagnosis (something counsellors have less authority to do) and to prescribe medication, if necessary. So they will spend time asking you various questions. Some of these will only require short answers, others might need more elaboration. He might then pick up on things you say and answer things from that.

    It also depends on why you're being sent there. In my case it was then-suspected psychosis, so I could tell he was working through a check list of different psychotic disorders with the questions he was asking :yes:
    I'm going to a private psychiatrist, my mum just thinks i have issues and we went to my GP yesterday and told her all the symptoms etc and she said it's not a bad idea to go, shes faxed over all my symptoms to the psychiatrist so i'm sure she will know the basics before we even speak on the day.
    Hope it goes okay :/ my GP thinks i'm bi-polar or something.
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    (Original post by orc7)
    I'm going to a private psychiatrist, my mum just thinks i have issues and we went to my GP yesterday and told her all the symptoms etc and she said it's not a bad idea to go, shes faxed over all my symptoms to the psychiatrist so i'm sure she will know the basics before we even speak on the day.
    Hope it goes okay :/ my GP thinks i'm bi-polar or something.
    Just remember that they're there to help you and that they're on your side Be as open and honest as you can be but equally don't beat yourself up if some things are too difficult to talk about, or if you're not great at verbalising things
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Just remember that they're there to help you and that they're on your side Be as open and honest as you can be but equally don't beat yourself up if some things are too difficult to talk about, or if you're not great at verbalising things
    Thanks, really helped x
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    Does anyone have any experiences of mental health provision varying massively between healthcare authorities?

    I'm mentally ill in some way I'm not quite sure about; I'm diagnosed with autism, but I'm becoming very, very suspicious that I'm bipolar, as I've had episodes of mania and depression for about five years now. I went to a psychiatrist with self-harm and suicide attempts when I was 13, and was told that I was fine, which made me understandably wary of doctors; a couple of weeks ago (I'm 18 now) I got up the nerve to go to my GP again, reasoning that a different person would be more likely to be sensible, but she told me it was probably just my period and that she didn't really have time to deal with it. Is it likely that my healthcare trust is just a bit rubbish and the GP I'm registered to at uni will be better, or... are all mental health workers/etc this ineffectual?
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    (Original post by orc7)
    Thanks, really helped x
    No worries! I wasn't particularly thrilled when my GP said he wanted to send me to a psychiatrist but my psych is quite a sweet and open-minded guy :yes: Hopefully your psych will be just as nice!
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    (Original post by kerily)
    Does anyone have any experiences of mental health provision varying massively between healthcare authorities?

    I'm mentally ill in some way I'm not quite sure about; I'm diagnosed with autism, but I'm becoming very, very suspicious that I'm bipolar, as I've had episodes of mania and depression for about five years now. I went to a psychiatrist with self-harm and suicide attempts when I was 13, and was told that I was fine, which made me understandably wary of doctors; a couple of weeks ago (I'm 18 now) I got up the nerve to go to my GP again, reasoning that a different person would be more likely to be sensible, but she told me it was probably just my period and that she didn't really have time to deal with it. Is it likely that my healthcare trust is just a bit rubbish and the GP I'm registered to at uni will be better, or... are all mental health workers/etc this ineffectual?
    I had to book privately and pay £300 for the hour, because ive found that the waiting lists themselves are way to long, let alone how **** and uncaring the doctors are.
    They dismiss soooo many people that have obvious problems.
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    (Original post by orc7)
    I had to book privately and pay £300 for the hour, because ive found that the waiting lists themselves are way to long, let alone how **** and uncaring the doctors are.
    They dismiss soooo many people that have obvious problems.
    :lolwut: £300? I earn £7 an hour, so important as my mental health is to me, no way am I spending 43 hours processing spreadsheets for the council just so I can get the diagnosis I need

    They definitely do. I just don't know what I need to do to be taken seriously. My grades are good (although my attendance at school isn't), I'm not dangerously underweight (my area has an excellent anorexia/bulimia support group, but compulsive eating apparently doesn't qualify you for it) and I manage mostly not to self-harm any more, so I don't think I tick enough boxes for them on the self-destruction scale. But even when I was self-harming and suicidal, they didn't really care - mostly because I was 13, I guess.

    It makes me really angry, because the girl who forced me into sex when I was 13 (this is probably the point at which I should check the 'anon' button or stop being so brutally honest, but eh, it's the internet and as far as I know she doesn't use TSR) and is a bit mentally ill herself gets a lot of mental health support. I realise that she has things going on in her head - panic attacks mostly - and that I should be tolerant and forgiving, but it makes me really angry to see her getting weekly therapy sessions for years on end because she feels guilty about something she did to me. /rant
 
 
 
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