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    (Original post by Deyesy)
    Probably because I'm doing a good job of stalking the thread lots and not posting Yeah I'm fine apart from a few iffy night times :yes: Hope you are too. You deserve things to finally start improving

    I guess I had a particularly awful therapist if that's the case :lol: She didn't really want me to go over it at all. But because of that, doesn't mean I should start generalising about CBT. I also have to say that you no doubt know more than me about the explicits of therapy so you're in a much better place to give advice about it than me
    Thanks, yeah things have been much better lately. I'm still depressed but not regularly suicidal anymore, and flashbacks are infrequent atm.

    Yeah, not going over it isn't necessarily the same as not dealing with it, though. Personally I'm of the opinion that you can deal with bullying without "going over" the bullying at all - you can do it indirectly by discussing how other people are giving opinions rather than facts, and by working on self esteem etc. It sounds to me like you did deal with some of those aspects of bullying, so just wanted to point out that stuff can be dealt with without necessarily going over it.

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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    I'm doing psychology at uni, and we did some interesting stuff on depression last year which is semi-theoretical but also, I think, helpful. One of my friends at uni has depression and low self esteem and has really utilised it to help her so maybe you can too.

    According to the attribution theory of depression, depression occurs alongside a change in the way you attribute negative things. There are a few different aspects to attribution, and three are particularly important to this theory of depression.

    1. Do you attribute it externally (to something outside of yourself) or internally (to yourself)?
    2. Do you attribute it specifically (to a small part of something) or globally (to a large part or all of something)?
    3. Is your attribution unstable (you anticipate that it could change) or stable (you don't think it could change)?

    According to the attribution theory, which does have some evidence and theoretical underpinning, people with depression are more likely than others to attribute negative things in a way which is global, stable and internal. In other words, when faced with some negative event or fact people with depression are likely to say:

    1. It is my fault or shows something bad about me.
    2. It shows that ALL of me is bad (not just a small part).
    3. It isn't something that can change.

    Whether or not that is the cause of depression or caused by it, I think it is easy to see that such a way of thinking could exacerbate a pre-existing depressive illness.

    Sorry for the long and possibly boring post, but I find it really great how one of my friends from my course took this and saw it in her own depressive thoughts and used it to help her. What she has done is make a book of positive things, mostly little notes from her friends, girlfriend and family pointing out what is good about her. That reminds her that even if there is a fault with some small part of her, there are other things about her which are good.

    Other things that draw on this kind of technique could be stuff like:

    -Whenever you find yourself writing that you are a failure or you hate yourself, FORCE yourself, however unnatural it feels, to add 'but' and write something positive. You might not believe it at first, but the act of writing can help you to get to a place where you do.

    -If something really is a problem, think about the fact that it doesn't need to stay like that forever (e.g. your weight, if that is unhealthy and something you want to change). Sometimes effecting change can make you feel so much more empowered and in control.

    -When you have a negative thought, take a second to think 'what would I say if I had a close friend with depression who was telling me they felt this' and say to yourself what you would say to them (even if you don't believe it at first).

    All of these things sound challenging and maybe feel a bit silly when you don't believe them, but they are the sort of techniques used in cbt and they really can help. Sometimes the hardest part is to force yourself to try them when you are in the depths of self-hatred, but I really hope that you do. IMHO the first part of recovery is saying "I will do ANYTHING to feel better" and after that.. well, you'll give anything a go.

    Hope any small part of this was helpful/interesting, and sorry it took so long to reply. I don't have access to a computer atm so typing is slow and requires breaks, lol. I'm doing ok ta. Been better but I'm quite a way into recovery as well, and trying to appreciate that.

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    iv tried the whole "what would i say to someone else in the same siutation as me" thing, and i was rubbish at it, i struggle so much finding positives about myself, especially when down.
    the 1 positive thing is good though. a while a go i started a positive diary, where i wrote down what happened and what i did each day, then went through and highlighted the positives so they stood out. i might try that again prehaps.

    in sociology i did all about the self fullfilling prophecy, and i know i fall into that whole ALL the time, but i guess the depression is clouding all my judgement and making me believe its true :dontknow:

    this is probably a crap reply, sorry my heads like mashed potato atm, and the heat isnt helping :sad:

    (Original post by Deyesy)
    I can't relate at all about the being told I'm a failure at home but at school by my bullies I was told that and you definitely internalise it and start believing it's true so I completely agree with that.

    CBT should and will certainly help with being able to identify your negative thought patterns and processes. It's not the right thing if you want to like deal with the bullying you've experienced though? You definitely haven't failed completely though, you managed to actually get to university which is something some people aren't able to achieve :yes: It sounds like it's the depression coupled with low self-esteem? Hopefully once you've got some proper support in place and you can find an anti-depressant that helps things will start to improve for you. You've only tried Citalopram as far I know? So there's many, many others you could and can try instead :yy:
    the bullying is part of my issue, but there are so many factors relating to my depression that bullying is only 1... but ill give anything ago, cant be any worse than my last counsellor. a whole hour talking about how i put shoes on :lolwut:
    my drs taking me off citalopram with a view to taking me off meds completely, but currently im doing worse on a lowered dose than i was before, so who knows...
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    This heat makes the country unfit for humans. I thoroughly recommend investing in a medium sized fan. Without it I would melt into the floor which - while intermittently appealing - would cause an awful mess.
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    :cry2: i just cant do this anymore... arguging in the house.. and im so confused.. i know all i ever post on here is negatively.. and never help anyone.. and i am so so so sorry for that.. i trueyl am... and i knw no one can help me bar myself.. **** it i dunno even why the hell i post here anymoe... i really am sorry...
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    Everything feels so pointless.
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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    :cry2: i just cant do this anymore... arguging in the house.. and im so confused.. i know all i ever post on here is negatively.. and never help anyone.. and i am so so so sorry for that.. i trueyl am... and i knw no one can help me bar myself.. **** it i dunno even why the hell i post here anymoe... i really am sorry...
    Hey, don't beat yourself up about it, nobody here is cross at you.

    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    Everything feels so pointless.
    Tell me about it. I'm rapidly slumping back to "i have too much important stuff to do and it's too much so i'm not gonna do any of it, i'll fail anyway" mode.
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    It's way too hot for sleeping. :sigh:
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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    :cry2: i just cant do this anymore... arguging in the house.. and im so confused.. i know all i ever post on here is negatively.. and never help anyone.. and i am so so so sorry for that.. i trueyl am... and i knw no one can help me bar myself.. **** it i dunno even why the hell i post here anymoe... i really am sorry...
    :hugs: there is no need to apologise for ranting here- that's what it's for. I have seen you posting nice replies to people and helping them- I believe I've even been one of those you've helped. try not to be so hard on yourself, yes ultimately the only one who can help you is you but it doesn't mean you have to do it alone. We're here for you and there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting some support! :hugs:


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    (Original post by sunfowers01)
    feeling the lowest I've ever felt
    Hey, can you tell me why that is? :console:


    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    Everything feels so pointless.
    Hi there, im sorry to hear that, have you always felt like this?
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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    Everything feels so pointless.
    :hugs:
    I won't be replying anymore for now cos i'm going to bed, but if you want to elaborate I will try to take a look and reply some time soon. Hope you're feeling better by tomorrow


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    I have such lovely friends! One of them has said they'll wait at the doctors surgery when I have my appointment so they can be there for me incase it doesn't go well
    Tomorrow should be a fun day! I get loads of pwessies and cake and to spend the day with my wonderful friends .


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    (Original post by Kindred)
    I have such lovely friends! One of them has said they'll wait at the doctors surgery when I have my appointment so they can be there for me incase it doesn't go well
    Tomorrow should be a fun day! I get loads of pwessies and cake and to spend the day with my wonderful friends .

    *today? (depending where you are)
    Is it your birthday? Happy Birthday if so!
    Hope your appointment goes well!
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    Another breakdown :woo: getting sick of these and not knowing or being able to tell my boyfriend whats up


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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Another breakdown :woo: getting sick of these and not knowing or being able to tell my boyfriend whats up


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    I assume you must be quite young right? Because you present yourself as helpless, getting swept along by your own thoughts with no inclination to taking responsibility for them.

    You'll learn in time with the help of your therapist to identify the unhelpful ways you think and perceive the world around you, thus handing you an option to take control over how you feel.
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Hang on in there, young Noodlzzz! :jumphug: You'll be alright in the end. You've mentioned praying. I dunno if that's just a figure of speech for you but

    Spoiler:
    Show
    would you mind if I pray for you?


    That would be lovely thank you
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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    That would be lovely thank you
    No problem at all - happy to do so. Will crack on with it right away :penguinhug:
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    Hey all, im in Poland atm. Currently waiting until my Polish friend and his missus get back, and then we're getting ready for their wedding!

    I was really anxious about the flight here, though once i got here i was better. After waking up this morning though i'm feeling anxious again, i think its because i feel guilty about not being able to speak the local language. Sure, quite a few of them speak good english, but i can't help but feel out of place, and that i'm being disrespectful, when i don't mean to be.

    I'll have to watch how much i drink today, since iirc sertraline doesn't mix very well with alcohol. I'm starting to think negative thoughts again, i just hope i can push them away and think of the good things.

    It's stupid that i'm having such negative thoughts on what should be such a joyous day

    EDIT: I seem to have negative thoughts when i don't have contact with other people for a while, and i start thinking on my own. It's stupid how i like to be alone and have my space, but when i do all the bad thoughts come flooding in. It's almost like i've got so used to feeling down that it's a comfort zone for me

    Sorry for my ramblings :cry:

    Hope you guys are all doing ok :jumphug:
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    (Original post by Ladders)
    Hey, can you tell me why that is? :console:



    Hi there, im sorry to hear that, have you always felt like this?
    I have no job and there is no point to anything. I'm here spending money that is unnecessary and feel like everyone is taking advantage of me, the stupid foreigner.

    I have a job for September but what do I do in the meantime? It's not easy to go home and I'm lonely and feel worthless.
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    (Original post by sunfowers01)
    I have no job and there is no point to anything. I'm here spending money that is unnecessary and feel like everyone is taking advantage of me, the stupid foreigner.

    I have a job for September but what do I do in the meantime? It's not easy to go home and I'm lonely and feel worthless.
    In theory, anyone spending money on stuff that isn't essential for living is unnecessary, and people do that all the time. Everyone else spends money on luxuries, so you have a right to also :hugs:

    You have a job in september, so congrats! I've been out of work for nearly a year now, so you can imagine how bad i must feel >_>

    Anyone that would think of you as a "stupid foreigner" is shallow and narrow minded. A lot of people may actually think the opposite! I know it can be very hard to look at positives when there seem to be so many bad things going on, but holding on to those positive thoughts can keep you going.
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    Starting to feel panicky again today. Hoping it wont turn into a breakdown again.
 
 
 
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