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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    trying to but i dunno, might go cuddle my boyfriends cat
    I wish some days we still had our cats, there's something soothing about them
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    (Original post by james1211)
    I wish some days we still had our cats, there's something soothing about them
    yeah i used to have an amazing cat back home that would actually come and cuddle you i miss him so much. my boyfriends cat isnt as cuddly as my old cat
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    Morning, just to let you know TLG has asked for an indefinite ban. There's nothing wrong as far as I know, it's just become a procrastination magnet for her.

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    I may be too late to the party to start posting, but just in case- good morning.
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    (Original post by Stiff Little Fingers)
    Morning, just to let you know TLG has asked for an indefinite ban. There's nothing wrong as far as I know, it's just become a procrastination magnet for her.

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    oh no! :sad:
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    yeah i used to have an amazing cat back home that would actually come and cuddle you i miss him so much. my boyfriends cat isnt as cuddly as my old cat
    That's why I don't like cats. A dog will love you for cuddling with him, but cats I have found don't. In fact they might run away.
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    (Original post by punsandneedles)
    I may be too late to the party to start posting, but just in case- good morning.
    Good morning
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    Refusing to take the olanzapine. Stupid stupid stuff.
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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Refusing to take the olanzapine. Stupid stupid stuff.

    That stuff made me into a zombie.

    I'm on venlafaxine, trazodone and citalopram at the moment and all of it combined packs less of a punch than olanzapine. You have my complete sympathy.
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    (Original post by danny111)
    That's why I don't like cats. A dog will love you for cuddling with him, but cats I have found don't. In fact they might run away.
    It's true that dogs are more affectionate than cats, but cats can still be very loving in their own ways, and many people are too busy to look after dogs. They are loving but hard work :P

    My parent's cat Pepsi and me had this routine we went through when i went to bed. After i had got into my covers she would jump up and sit next to my head, i would stroke her and she would lick my hand. After purring for a while she would then go to the end of the bed for a while before going under my bed. Even after i had spent a few years at uni, she would still do it :3

    Also, i think all our cats liked to stay with one of us while we slept, they would meow until we let them in our rooms My nan's cat also really likes being stroked and loves sitting on peoples laps
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    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    It's true that dogs are more affectionate than cats, but cats can still be very loving in their own ways, and many people are too busy to look after dogs. They are loving but hard work :P

    My parent's cat Pepsi and me had this routine we went through when i went to bed. After i had got into my covers she would jump up and sit next to my head, i would stroke her and she would lick my hand. After purring for a while she would then go to the end of the bed for a while before going under my bed. Even after i had spent a few years at uni, she would still do it :3

    Also, i think all our cats liked to stay with one of us while we slept, they would meow until we let them in our rooms My nan's cat also really likes being stroked and loves sitting on peoples laps
    One of my cats used to do that, every night she would jump up and sleep on my bed for an hour then leave when i was about to fall asleep. She would sit at my door and cry if I closed it to stop her coming in for whatever reason

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    just more incoherantness, sorry

    I hate being such a disappointment to my parents. They had such high hopes for us all and just look at how things have turned out. I wish I could be part of a family that made them happy and proud, not one full of secrets and shame and stress.
    I used to be a proper, engaging human being who actually lived instead of this shell barely passing by each half hour. My parents used to like me as a person, not just love me as a daughter.

    Even despite of everything, I've still got my A Levels and gone to university and done well academically until now, so my mum has always had something to be proud about. She is a very successful compartmentalise-er. But now I haven't taken my second year exams I am another failure to be secretely mortified by. My brother doesn't do as great at school as she'd wish, my sister dropped out of college cos of ed, im screwing up my degree. My brother is good at other stuff, plus he's still young so she doesn't mind too much, she tries to understand and feel empathy with my sister, but I've always been the one she has all these hopes for to be great at academics and have this amazing career she can boast about to her friends. And now I'm terrible. The only way in her eyes to make up for what's happened is to pretend it hasn't and succeed big in life. I think she's completely lost all her respect for me now. She loves me, and she still encourages me to do stuff and be better but only really because she's a good parent and that is what good parents do.
    My dad is not so bothered by academic stuff, or having a prestigious career etc, he just wants me to be happy and live an interesting, fulfilling life. He's a very effervescent, charismatic, seize the day kind of man. We used to do all sorts of stuff together; mostly outside, rigorous activity kinda stuff, but im too much dead to do anything anymore. I can barely manage a game of table tennis. He doesn't understand how someone can spend so much time doing nothing. Has mostly given up asking about uni and friends and societies and all the great opportunities I am not taking advantage of at uni cos disappoints/confuses/upsets/annoys him, but every now and again he will re-word a question in the hope that this will suddenly bring forth these great experiences I'm having. I hate making him sad. I want to still be a person who enjoys things and has confidence and curiosity and feels like this is all meaningful and worthwhile. Everyone used to say "you're your fathers daughter" and im so sad and ashamed at how much ive lost.

    I know my parents care about me immensely and it hurts me so so much not to be able to be the person they wanted me to develop into.
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    Euston we have a problem.

    Poncho has lost ALL her meds :facepalm:


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    I finally did it! I refered myself for CBT a couple of weeks ago, and I had an assessment last week. Now I just need to wait for a call-back to arrange an appointment for when I go back to uni in September. I will have to wait a couple of months though.

    One step in the right direction!

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    #18

    (Original post by Sultana)
    just more incoherantness, sorry

    I hate being such a disappointment to my parents. They had such high hopes for us all and just look at how things have turned out. I wish I could be part of a family that made them happy and proud, not one full of secrets and shame and stress.
    I used to be a proper, engaging human being who actually lived instead of this shell barely passing by each half hour. My parents used to like me as a person, not just love me as a daughter.

    Even despite of everything, I've still got my A Levels and gone to university and done well academically until now, so my mum has always had something to be proud about. She is a very successful compartmentalise-er. But now I haven't taken my second year exams I am another failure to be secretely mortified by. My brother doesn't do as great at school as she'd wish, my sister dropped out of college cos of ed, im screwing up my degree. My brother is good at other stuff, plus he's still young so she doesn't mind too much, she tries to understand and feel empathy with my sister, but I've always been the one she has all these hopes for to be great at academics and have this amazing career she can boast about to her friends. And now I'm terrible. The only way in her eyes to make up for what's happened is to pretend it hasn't and succeed big in life. I think she's completely lost all her respect for me now. She loves me, and she still encourages me to do stuff and be better but only really because she's a good parent and that is what good parents do.
    My dad is not so bothered by academic stuff, or having a prestigious career etc, he just wants me to be happy and live an interesting, fulfilling life. He's a very effervescent, charismatic, seize the day kind of man. We used to do all sorts of stuff together; mostly outside, rigorous activity kinda stuff, but im too much dead to do anything anymore. I can barely manage a game of table tennis. He doesn't understand how someone can spend so much time doing nothing. Has mostly given up asking about uni and friends and societies and all the great opportunities I am not taking advantage of at uni cos disappoints/confuses/upsets/annoys him, but every now and again he will re-word a question in the hope that this will suddenly bring forth these great experiences I'm having. I hate making him sad. I want to still be a person who enjoys things and has confidence and curiosity and feels like this is all meaningful and worthwhile. Everyone used to say "you're your fathers daughter" and im so sad and ashamed at how much ive lost.

    I know my parents care about me immensely and it hurts me so so much not to be able to be the person they wanted me to develop into.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I know how you feel. My brother has now finished his master and got a real good job at a great company. He really has his **** together. I was always the more academically inclined doing better at school etc. I have major problems finishing my thesis, should be doable now but the grade might be meh just a pass. But I was a the point of throwing it all away and doing something totally different. I never applied to internships for various reasons and even now that I'm close to finishing my masters I have so much trouble applying to internships/jobs. I felt like my parents did so much for me and put me through uni and supported me and I can't even apply to jobs. I don't even know why, partly I guess I don't like rejection and partly because maybe I'm still too immature and don't really want to work. Who knows. Point is I thought I was being a loser wasting my potential and disappointing my parents.

    But it turns out that they sympathize. Again they try to help me, find openings and help with the application. They tell me that I do need to find something, but they are not being harsh about, saying I'm a loser and lazy. Maybe your parents are the same? Reading this why don't you just talk to your dad about it? Since you used to do these things it seems this might just be a slump but that you can get out of? Talk to him, he might have an idea of what you can do and with a little push you go along with it and can go on from there?


    Anyway, hope you can sort things out!
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    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    I finally did it! I refered myself for CBT a couple of weeks ago, and I had an assessment last week. Now I just need to wait for a call-back to arrange an appointment for when I go back to uni in September. I will have to wait a couple of months though.

    One step in the right direction!

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    Well done! I started not long ago, don't know if it helped yet but it's a longer process anyway I gather, but what I do notice is that it is for sure nice to talk about your issue(s) and know someone who cares and wants to work out a solution with you.
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Euston we have a problem.

    Poncho has lost ALL her meds :facepalm:


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    *Houston.

    Sorry wanted to light the mood a bit. When you say lost they're literally gone from where you keep them or you took them travelling???
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    (Original post by danny111)
    *Houston.

    Sorry wanted to light the mood a bit. When you say lost they're literally gone from where you keep them or you took them travelling???
    Sorry im crap at spelling
    I found them luckily. They were under a massive pile. I usually keep them next to the bed or on some shelves but they were in neither place. And i currently have no spares have 10 days worth left and then im screwed!


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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    My entire body hurts. My feet, knees, hips, back, shoulders, head and brain i feel like its a never ending battle. My brain is covered in black smog that i cant lift. Nothing can lift it. I just need a break from this. I need a break from life. I cant do it anymore.


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    :hugs: It gets better, I promise.

    (Original post by Kindred)
    Well minus one of my friends not turning up and waiting till after the party had started to tell another friend (not me) that they wouldn't be there, it was a rather good birthday. I got some nice pwessies, including two especially lovely ones, and got to spend the time with some of my friends. It wasn't the best of parties and I do have an annoying headache now, but it was still nice. After all I'd rather spend a **** day with friends than a brilliant day alone.


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    HAPPY UN-BIRTHDAY!!! :party:

    (Original post by Sultana)
    just more incoherantness, sorry

    I hate being such a disappointment to my parents. They had such high hopes for us all and just look at how things have turned out. I wish I could be part of a family that made them happy and proud, not one full of secrets and shame and stress.
    I used to be a proper, engaging human being who actually lived instead of this shell barely passing by each half hour. My parents used to like me as a person, not just love me as a daughter.

    Even despite of everything, I've still got my A Levels and gone to university and done well academically until now, so my mum has always had something to be proud about. She is a very successful compartmentalise-er. But now I haven't taken my second year exams I am another failure to be secretely mortified by. My brother doesn't do as great at school as she'd wish, my sister dropped out of college cos of ed, im screwing up my degree. My brother is good at other stuff, plus he's still young so she doesn't mind too much, she tries to understand and feel empathy with my sister, but I've always been the one she has all these hopes for to be great at academics and have this amazing career she can boast about to her friends. And now I'm terrible. The only way in her eyes to make up for what's happened is to pretend it hasn't and succeed big in life. I think she's completely lost all her respect for me now. She loves me, and she still encourages me to do stuff and be better but only really because she's a good parent and that is what good parents do.
    My dad is not so bothered by academic stuff, or having a prestigious career etc, he just wants me to be happy and live an interesting, fulfilling life. He's a very effervescent, charismatic, seize the day kind of man. We used to do all sorts of stuff together; mostly outside, rigorous activity kinda stuff, but im too much dead to do anything anymore. I can barely manage a game of table tennis. He doesn't understand how someone can spend so much time doing nothing. Has mostly given up asking about uni and friends and societies and all the great opportunities I am not taking advantage of at uni cos disappoints/confuses/upsets/annoys him, but every now and again he will re-word a question in the hope that this will suddenly bring forth these great experiences I'm having. I hate making him sad. I want to still be a person who enjoys things and has confidence and curiosity and feels like this is all meaningful and worthwhile. Everyone used to say "you're your fathers daughter" and im so sad and ashamed at how much ive lost.

    I know my parents care about me immensely and it hurts me so so much not to be able to be the person they wanted me to develop into.
    Your parents should not be disappointed in you when you are fighting your hardest to keep going. They should be proud to have such an amazing daughter. :hugs:

    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    I finally did it! I refered myself for CBT a couple of weeks ago, and I had an assessment last week. Now I just need to wait for a call-back to arrange an appointment for when I go back to uni in September. I will have to wait a couple of months though.

    One step in the right direction!

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    :five: Awesome!
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    :hugs: It gets better, I promise.
    I hope so :/ just want to sleep today feeling very blah today. Still in pain


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