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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    So my room at the crisis house is right next to the office. I can hear everything they say about me in handover if I put my ear against the wall LOLOLOL
    That's really funny.

    I hope being at the crisis house helps you. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    That's really funny.

    I hope being at the crisis house helps you. :hugs:
    Sad tones 'yes psychotic hmmm' 'yes very sad'

    It really has thank you Being safe, can leave when I want and have my laptop with internet!

    Sorry to hear about your meeting. I feel you with the meds. Took 3 years to get one that worked (clozapine). Maybe there is a mix or 1 out there that will help you.
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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Sad tones 'yes psychotic hmmm' 'yes very sad'

    It really has thank you Being safe, can leave when I want and have my laptop with internet!

    Sorry to hear about your meeting. I feel you with the meds. Took 3 years to get one that worked (clozapine). Maybe there is a mix or 1 out there that will help you.
    Glad to hear it's helping you. Having access to the internet sounds like a huge plus too.


    I think clozapine is pretty much the only antipsychotic I haven't tried over the past 8 years - and would prefer not to if I'm honest what with all the blood tests etc. Currently on a new one that's not available in the UK, the fact it's new kind of worries me because of possibly long term side effects that haven't been found yet
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    Went to Samaritans information evening today. Was really good. Hope I am able to volunteer with them

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    (Original post by Nathanielle)
    :hugs:



    I hope it is homework in Math, a bit easier to mark propbably...
    Sadly it's computing homework projects.

    I've done half and I'll save the other half until tomorrow Being a responsible adult teacher type is incredibly taxing on my poor brain.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Glad to hear it's helping you. Having access to the internet sounds like a huge plus too.


    I think clozapine is pretty much the only antipsychotic I haven't tried over the past 8 years - and would prefer not to if I'm honest what with all the blood tests etc. Currently on a new one that's not available in the UK, the fact it's new kind of worries me because of possibly long term side effects that haven't been found yet
    You get used to the blood tests and it becomes monthly after a year (I know sounds a lot)
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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    So my room at the crisis house is right next to the office. I can hear everything they say about me in handover if I put my ear against the wall LOLOLOL
    I used to do similar in hospital

    Hope crisis house is helping you
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    TLG Update: Thanks for all your support and good wishes, peeps. I'm off to Chester in the morning, then conference on Friday, with sightseeing on Sat and Sun before returning to London on Sunday evening. Don't assume the worst if you don't hear from me during that time :grouphugs:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    :grouphugs: to all

    Psychosis is still there, though managed to sleep most of it off




    Thanks lovely :lovehug: So sorry you are having a rough time of it. You can always PM or Facebook me, yeah? :kissing2:



    Thank you
    I can't do that because you're not well and I can't burden you like that.
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    I'm not cut out for living alone. I don't have anyone here who would literally drop everything (including paid for commitments) and come and help me. And I'm not about to ask to find out.

    This is the third day now. I had to teach from 11-1But when I came back I realised I had forgotten my keys, so I slept in the stairwell until my landlady arrived. I barely had time to eat - a terrible rice noodles and miso soup amalgamation, essentially ramen - before I had to leave. I was out working from then until 10pm, which is when I arrived home. I ate a little during the afternoon but because my dinner time has become so late, I wasn't hungry until then.

    I am incapable of feeding myself. That's how bad it's become this week. For me this is significant. I am a foodie, daughter of a chef, and cooking is very therapeutic for me. However I somehow failed to buy simple things like eggs and soup this week, so I haven't had anything quick and easy to make. I have gluten and dairy allergies so I can never buy anything out or on the way home. So I just end up not eating, which puts me in pain and makes me cry because I'm so depressed and physically lack the energy to do anything. With my anxiety this week I am also terrified of going into the kitchen at ridiculous times or even just to make some chips in the fryer because my landlady is in the open living room all night basically (like 9.30pm until 3am) and obviously my anxiety makes me fear all judgement. So I've just stayed in my room and cried and it's a mess and all my messages are piling up from people who are good enough friends to be in touch with or meet up with, but not good enough to ring up and ask them to come and bring me food. And most of them are abroad, anyway.

    I move to Germany in less than three weeks and while I'm dreading sacrificing my independence in the heart of a capital city to go and live with a big family in the middle of actual nowhere, I am also grimly pleased that I will no longer have to manage every damn thing on my own all the time. When it works and I'm well, it's amazing. At times like this, I could probably not eat for days and no one would have to know.

    My boyfriend is trying to be helpful but keeps asking the same questions, like what have I got in the kitchen. The answer is nothing. Gazpacho, new potatoes, cheese, frozen vegetables, uncooked rice, uncooked pasta, fruit. I am not currently capable of anything that requires putting the oven on or chopping things.

    Tomorrow I should hopefully have a little time to buy simple things like eggs and cereal. When I feel better I will sit down and plan some easy meals and buy the ingredients.

    I feel like I'm wasting all my evenings. I have things that need doing but I spend my evenings depressed and hungry.
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    (Original post by such_a_lady)
    I can't do that because you're not well and I can't burden you like that.
    Oh hun, of course you can! Wouldn't be a burden at all - if I can, I would like to help, even though I can't come to Spain and look after you (you know I'd totes do that if I could, though!). I'm feeling a little better now. I'm off to my conference tomorrow but am taking laptop and will be checking things sporadically, so do message if you need to and I'll get back to you when I can.

    We could also Skype one evening, if that would help?

    Hang on in there, lovely :lovehug: xxxx
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    (Original post by Valvopus)
    I say conversation I envision it being her alternating ranting about it and wailing Whyyyyyy did I not tellll her??? She's mmmyyyyy mother!
    I have a whole stack of shocking statements for every occasion. Is she trying to pretend it didn't happen?
    Haha, parents are such a pain! That's a good idea, i guess if I ever need a distraction I can whip out my tattoo :teehee: Probably. We also pretend I didn't already have my 'help I think im a lesbian' crisis aged 15. I used to think my dad was the more homophobic of my parents but I think it's more that he makes more overt jokes, whereas my mum its more of a quiet but deepseated thing :/

    ---

    Survived dinner with my family! Also apparently my brother is looking into studying law at university, I feel so proud of him
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    I am quite upset right now, getting bullied on another website by someone who has the typical victim mentality and has called ME offensive and ignorant and such and always trolls me.

    Essentially I make a comment I do know I have a different personality to others as I am autistic so if people need to know I mention that my personality is to look at a bigger picture i.e if someone came up to me on street asking for me to donate to a local cause to pay for a childs operation which at best will make them live a few more months, I will refuse and rather give money to help people who may of had an ongoing terrible life that cant be labelled the same i.e someone could of had loving parents, normal health but living in poverty their entire lives, not being able to go to college and lives a miserable life, so in other words I feel less sorry for the person with a horrible illness who leads a fantastic life in a short term than someone who has had a bad life forever, or short way of saying it I go by the persons quality of life overall then individual things.

    I will say that in less words and get called nasty names like I am cruel, uncaring etc when I am talking more about the situation rather than the person and when people say these things about me it hurts as I know I am a kind person who helps people whenever I can.
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    Feel really bad suddenly :cry2:


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    (Original post by furryface12)
    Feel really bad suddenly :cry2:


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    :hugs:


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    Hey guys,

    Have any of you been in a position where you are pretty much depression/ anxiety free for ages then randomly get tired like when you're depressed and get some random mood swings?

    I'm still on meds and not exactly recovered but have been doing really well for months and months now. I still occasionally get the day or so of feeling a bit off, but recently I had a long stage like that. My moods were really odd (giddy and happy then in tears) and I'm pretty much back to my old messed up sleeping.
    Not sure if its a normal thing with mh or the meds or one of my other conditions. Just happened so out of the blue and freaked me out a little.
    Mood is pretty much normal now but I'm still trying to get on top of the sleeping. Really struggling to get up and get in with things.
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    (Original post by drbluebox)
    I will say that in less words and get called nasty names like I am cruel, uncaring etc when I am talking more about the situation rather than the person and when people say these things about me it hurts as I know I am a kind person who helps people whenever I can.
    I get what you mean and it does not make you a cruel person, but the internet is full of tiny little snippets and somebody will almost always take it the wrong way. I guess the best thing to do would be to explain it like you did here and hope they realise they judged too quickly. If they keep at it im sure you can report them or something?


    Good luck. Remember its just one person and what they think you are like is not as important as what you are like.
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    (Original post by such_a_lady)
    I'm not cut out for living alone. I don't have anyone here who would literally drop everything (including paid for commitments) and come and help me. And I'm not about to ask to find out.

    This is the third day now. I had to teach from 11-1But when I came back I realised I had forgotten my keys, so I slept in the stairwell until my landlady arrived. I barely had time to eat - a terrible rice noodles and miso soup amalgamation, essentially ramen - before I had to leave. I was out working from then until 10pm, which is when I arrived home. I ate a little during the afternoon but because my dinner time has become so late, I wasn't hungry until then.

    I am incapable of feeding myself. That's how bad it's become this week. For me this is significant. I am a foodie, daughter of a chef, and cooking is very therapeutic for me. However I somehow failed to buy simple things like eggs and soup this week, so I haven't had anything quick and easy to make. I have gluten and dairy allergies so I can never buy anything out or on the way home. So I just end up not eating, which puts me in pain and makes me cry because I'm so depressed and physically lack the energy to do anything. With my anxiety this week I am also terrified of going into the kitchen at ridiculous times or even just to make some chips in the fryer because my landlady is in the open living room all night basically (like 9.30pm until 3am) and obviously my anxiety makes me fear all judgement. So I've just stayed in my room and cried and it's a mess and all my messages are piling up from people who are good enough friends to be in touch with or meet up with, but not good enough to ring up and ask them to come and bring me food. And most of them are abroad, anyway.

    I move to Germany in less than three weeks and while I'm dreading sacrificing my independence in the heart of a capital city to go and live with a big family in the middle of actual nowhere, I am also grimly pleased that I will no longer have to manage every damn thing on my own all the time. When it works and I'm well, it's amazing. At times like this, I could probably not eat for days and no one would have to know.

    My boyfriend is trying to be helpful but keeps asking the same questions, like what have I got in the kitchen. The answer is nothing. Gazpacho, new potatoes, cheese, frozen vegetables, uncooked rice, uncooked pasta, fruit. I am not currently capable of anything that requires putting the oven on or chopping things.

    Tomorrow I should hopefully have a little time to buy simple things like eggs and cereal. When I feel better I will sit down and plan some easy meals and buy the ingredients.

    I feel like I'm wasting all my evenings. I have things that need doing but I spend my evenings depressed and hungry.
    You just need to get used to it. It is very scary to start with but you will settle in. Maybe set reminders and write shopping lists to help you get into a routine? Oh and if you're working a lot put a little snack like cereal bars in your bag just in case. I do and every now and again its a real lifesaver! :yum:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Saw my psychiatrist....I seem to always fail at getting across to her how much I'm struggling, then walk out feeling bad that I couldn't tel her everything. Though I'm not sure whether it even makes a different in the end. :/

    Increased antipsychotic; oh yay more side effects. :nothing: I don't understand why if I truly have schizoaffective disorder why the medication seems to do so litte. Am I just weird or naturally resistance or something? :confused: It's stuff like this that really makes me doubt "professionals".
    I think some people are just a bit different that others and when it comes to meds that seems to make a big difference. Guess if it keeps doing so little you could ask about changing?
    Maybe take in a note or something next time you see your psych. I'd always tend to dull down things and not really say what I needed to. I don't know if that would have helped keep me on track.

    As much as I love to tell people professionals know what they're doing, sometimes they do get a little lost and you may need to poke them a little if they don't seem to be realising. :P
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    already sick of my parents' racist jokes :/



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