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    (Original post by orc7)
    I had to book privately and pay £300 for the hour, because ive found that the waiting lists themselves are way to long, let alone how **** and uncaring the doctors are.
    They dismiss soooo many people that have obvious problems.
    I'm also considering going private. If nothing happens by the end of the month...
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    (Original post by kerily)
    :lolwut: £300? I earn £7 an hour, so important as my mental health is to me, no way am I spending 43 hours processing spreadsheets for the council just so I can get the diagnosis I need

    They definitely do. I just don't know what I need to do to be taken seriously. My grades are good (although my attendance at school isn't), I'm not dangerously underweight (my area has an excellent anorexia/bulimia support group, but compulsive eating apparently doesn't qualify you for it) and I manage mostly not to self-harm any more, so I don't think I tick enough boxes for them on the self-destruction scale. But even when I was self-harming and suicidal, they didn't really care - mostly because I was 13, I guess.

    It makes me really angry, because the girl who forced me into sex when I was 13 (this is probably the point at which I should check the 'anon' button or stop being so brutally honest, but eh, it's the internet and as far as I know she doesn't use TSR) and is a bit mentally ill herself gets a lot of mental health support. I realise that she has things going on in her head - panic attacks mostly - and that I should be tolerant and forgiving, but it makes me really angry to see her getting weekly therapy sessions for years on end because she feels guilty about something she did to me. /rant
    Yeah but people like that get it because they are a threat to people in society, and they are honest. She has obviously gone and told you them what shes done to you and they are trying to help her overcome her obvious problems.
    It obviously still effects you amongst other things so you should also be getting help. You mentioned when you were 13 but go back now, it's years on, your an adult they need to take you seriously.
    I know what you mean about the symptoms not being enough, you see i don't self harm (tempted but don't have the balls) but i substance abuse etc, i'm sort of worried that the psychiatrist will say theres nothing wrong with you. And just take £300 loool! But you gotta try, I know somethings wrong, my family and my friends know somethings wrong.
    Maybe your just like me, unable to talk about it much?
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    (Original post by orc7)
    Yeah but people like that get it because they are a threat to people in society, and they are honest. She has obviously gone and told you them what shes done to you and they are trying to help her overcome her obvious problems.
    Sadly not. She spends her whole time telling everyone we know about how I forced her into it, and how I'm a rapist (fun fact: it really ****s you up to have someone who raped you accuse you of rape) and how she is massively depressed because of 'what I did to her'. I realise that she's mentally ill and I imagine that she's built some sort of fantasy world in which she is the victim; she is very much the sort of person who constructs elaborate lies and fantasies and things. Which is also valid as a form of mental illness, but she isn't trying to reform into a sane member of society, rather trying to 'get over' what I apparently did to her. :rolleyes: It doesn't help that I have lessons with just me and her in too.

    It obviously still effects you amongst other things so you should also be getting help. You mentioned when you were 13 but go back now, it's years on, your an adult they need to take you seriously.
    I did last week, and my GP told me that it's probably my period. This was a woman too! So I think I'm just waiting until I go to uni

    I know what you mean about the symptoms not being enough, you see i don't self harm (tempted but don't have the balls) but i substance abuse etc, i'm sort of worried that the psychiatrist will say theres nothing wrong with you. And just take £300 loool! But you gotta try, I know somethings wrong, my family and my friends know somethings wrong.
    Maybe your just like me, unable to talk about it much?
    Don't start self-harming. It is insanely addictive, which they don't tell you; I was actually addicted to it at one point, and had to do it several times a day, smuggle implements into school etc. It's never worth developing more conspicuous symptoms to get treatment. But equally, I understand the urge to have something where you can say 'here, I need help, look at this!' as opposed to just 'I feel really awful'.

    I wish you luck with this new psychiatrist But £300? Wow. You'd better get a diagnosis for that!
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    (Original post by orc7)
    I had to book privately and pay £300 for the hour, because ive found that the waiting lists themselves are way to long, let alone how **** and uncaring the doctors are.
    They dismiss soooo many people that have obvious problems.
    Wow. That's a lot of money :eek:


    (Original post by kerily)
    :lolwut: £300? I earn £7 an hour, so important as my mental health is to me, no way am I spending 43 hours processing spreadsheets for the council just so I can get the diagnosis I need

    They definitely do. I just don't know what I need to do to be taken seriously. My grades are good (although my attendance at school isn't), I'm not dangerously underweight (my area has an excellent anorexia/bulimia support group, but compulsive eating apparently doesn't qualify you for it) and I manage mostly not to self-harm any more, so I don't think I tick enough boxes for them on the self-destruction scale. But even when I was self-harming and suicidal, they didn't really care - mostly because I was 13, I guess.

    It makes me really angry, because the girl who forced me into sex when I was 13 (this is probably the point at which I should check the 'anon' button or stop being so brutally honest, but eh, it's the internet and as far as I know she doesn't use TSR) and is a bit mentally ill herself gets a lot of mental health support. I realise that she has things going on in her head - panic attacks mostly - and that I should be tolerant and forgiving, but it makes me really angry to see her getting weekly therapy sessions for years on end because she feels guilty about something she did to me. /rant
    Huge :jumphug: I can't even begin to imagine how scary that must have been :jumphug:

    Am I right in thinking your firm is Cambridge? Oxbridge has very good welfare support generally
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Huge :jumphug: I can't even begin to imagine how scary that must have been :jumphug:

    Am I right in thinking your firm is Cambridge? Oxbridge has very good welfare support generally
    Why thankyou

    That's actually one of my motivating factors in working as hard as I can to meet my offer. (I know; I'm so cool. Everyone else is going there because it's the best university in the world, and I'm going there because I think I might feel an awful lot better and happier there ) With the intense terms and things, I've heard that they have a lot of help even for people who don't have diagnosed mental health problems or whatever. The disability people also seem lovely, so I'm hoping that I can get a diagnosis of depression/bipolar/whatever it is that's wrong with me as soon as I get there, and start to work through it with someone.

    Trouble is, I'm not entirely sure if I want to pursue counselling; I spent a couple of years in counselling between the ages of about 13 and 15, and I just found that nobody there took me seriously (mainly because all my issues were sex-related, and as I was a pretty unattractive and autistic early teenager, I got the general impression that nobody understood why someone would want to force me into sex.) But optimism triumphs, and I'm hoping to at least try the support services at uni and see if I can get anything positive from them
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    Well, today I was conclusively told that I had early onset bipolar disorder!
    (Sorry for writing too much!)

    I've always been hyperthymic - a personality type characterised by being energetic, gregarious and optimistic - although how much of that bled into hypomania is anyone's guess. In middle school, I was strange and had some inappropriate reactions - but generally happy. However, in high school, I started to get more severe mood changes - and accompanying cognitive deficits. I started to self-harm in the moderate depressive episodes (which included suicidal thoughts and gestures, but no actual attempts), fortunately high school was a breeze, so when I wasn't doing so well I could get away with coasting. I also had periods of hypomania - noticeable euphoria where I would run around kissing my friends. Brilliant! I would also be very productive - looking back, there were clear periods of not doing work, followed by bursts of getting all my coursework done. So, in high school - it wasn't too bad, but I started to realise something was up. Of course it was only with the depression and self-harm in mind - who thinks that feeling amazing could be a symptom?

    I entered college alright, until the following February, when I started slipping into very severe bout of depression. This ****ed me up, in all honesty. Again, the self-harm came into my life again. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't read. The following months are a blur. It included days (one at a time) which I had switched into manic symptoms - sometimes with, sometimes without the depressive symptoms. These only caused trouble - theft, getting very drunk, bizarre behaviour (running onto roundabouts for example). But understand, these were rare days amongst the debilitating depression - which did lead to attempted suicide (fortunately I was found before I did too much damage).
    At the beginning of this period, I lost the group of friends I had at that time. I was disliked by one girl, which caused me to isolate myself from them. Fortunately my boyfriend stood by me and cared for me (without this care, I'm sure I would have done a lot more damage to myself, more severe self-harm, more fatal suicide).
    Being put on anti-depressants did nothing.
    I also experienced mild hallucinations.
    After attempting suicide I managed to get referred to CAMHS - where I was assessed and promptly referred to a registrar psychiatrist who put me on Quetiapine. Quetiapine is an antipsychotic, but is also used to treat the moods of bipolar disorder, and it honestly helped, mostly with impulsivity really. However, it made me very drowsy, so I resisted an increased dose. I feel that it has pushed me further down than I would ideally like - due to the fact sleep and mood are very tightly linked in bipolar disorder and it made me sleep a lot.
    Fortunately, after that episode dissapated, I still had a couple of weeks before my summer exams and I was able to teach myself enough to get me 3 As - as well as a D in my psychology paper, because I had to pick my battles. I resat that one, and got an A.
    Somewhere along the way, I developed some form of social anxiety (as well as general anxiety), however the hope is with the correct treatment for my mood, I will get better in this respect. But this has affected my life a lot - I messed up my university panel interviews and I'm terrified of going to practice martial arts every week (because I don't want to **** up in front of all those people).

    More recently, my moods have been, well, rapid cycling really - which has detracted from my ability to work for a couple of months. This is problematic because lots of things just get all jumbled up and I can't do very much about it! The worst thing has really been negative intrusive thoughts and the compulsion to self-harm. Fortunately, it just missed my exam period!

    Today, the dose of quetiapine has been upped, so I anticipate increased drowsiness, but a mood-stabiliser has been added, so maybe they'll balance each other out? I don't know, but the side-effects will certainly affect my life.

    Mental illness has also affected me from the aspect of my mother - who suffers from bipolar II and BPD (traits of which I see littered all over this thread).
    This has been difficult, because I have been forced to tiptoe across eggshells. Not through fear of seeing a rage, but because I am so scared of upsetting her. I have come home to blood. I have had to ensure that she eats. I have spent time with her bed-ridden. I have answered the phone to her on admission to hospital. I have answered the phone to her suicidal and drunk. Fortunately, these things have only gotten very severe over the last 3 years - I was mature enough to deal with it.

    But through all these things, both in my head and in my home, I have developed a deep sense of empathy and it has pushed me through to my ambition of Medicine.

    And I'm really glad I got an early diagnosis - makes dealing with uni much easier, I'm sure.

    One question: would you rather be treated by a completely mentally sound Psychiatrist, or one that has experienced mental illness (but is in remission, of course)?
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    I used to suspect I might be mentally unwell, but I don't think so anymore, I think it's purely circumstantial.

    I have no friends because I'm shy, I'm depressed because I have no friends, I feel like **** because I'm depressed, I feel anxious because I'm depressed, I took "meds" because the shrink said I was depressed, I hallucinate because of the "meds" ****ing up my brain, because of them ****ing up my brain I can't concentrate on uni and come across as even more weird, because I give stupid answers in class everyone thinks I'm a retard and won't be my friend hence I have no friends.

    Vicious cycle.
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    (Original post by kerily)
    Sadly not. She spends her whole time telling everyone we know about how I forced her into it, and how I'm a rapist (fun fact: it really ****s you up to have someone who raped you accuse you of rape) and how she is massively depressed because of 'what I did to her'. I realise that she's mentally ill and I imagine that she's built some sort of fantasy world in which she is the victim; she is very much the sort of person who constructs elaborate lies and fantasies and things. Which is also valid as a form of mental illness, but she isn't trying to reform into a sane member of society, rather trying to 'get over' what I apparently did to her. :rolleyes: It doesn't help that I have lessons with just me and her in too.



    I did last week, and my GP told me that it's probably my period. This was a woman too! So I think I'm just waiting until I go to uni



    Don't start self-harming. It is insanely addictive, which they don't tell you; I was actually addicted to it at one point, and had to do it several times a day, smuggle implements into school etc. It's never worth developing more conspicuous symptoms to get treatment. But equally, I understand the urge to have something where you can say 'here, I need help, look at this!' as opposed to just 'I feel really awful'.

    I wish you luck with this new psychiatrist But £300? Wow. You'd better get a diagnosis for that!

    Hey sorry, I attempted a reply, don't think it worked!

    1) How do you refrain yourself from wanting to kill/beat/strangle that girl every time you see her?
    2) I'm sorry you had to go through that
    3) It took me a year to finally seek help when it came to a point that it had to be done, because you have a history of self harm and stuff are you sure you'll be okay til you go to Uni? As you probably experienced these things go down hill pretty rapidly.
    4) Did it not hurt when you self harmed? I know yeah it can be addictive, but surely it hurt? no?

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    (Original post by White Trash)
    I used to suspect I might be mentally unwell, but I don't think so anymore, I think it's purely circumstantial.

    I have no friends because I'm shy, I'm depressed because I have no friends, I feel like **** because I'm depressed, I feel anxious because I'm depressed, I took "meds" because the shrink said I was depressed, I hallucinate because of the "meds" ****ing up my brain, because of them ****ing up my brain I can't concentrate on uni and come across as even more weird, because I give stupid answers in class everyone thinks I'm a retard and won't be my friend hence I have no friends.

    Vicious cycle.
    Please don't think like that : ( One has to look on the positive side of life. Take up a hobby, usually sports make one feel happier - I remember I went to the gym during a stressful and depressing time and I actually felt better.
    In class, think before you answer. If you don't know the question, don't feel compelled to answer because you believe it's going to get you noticed.
    As or friends, try first with your neighbours. Make small talk with them. Invite them to go for coffee sometime. Or, find a gourp in your lectures/class/course and go out with them. Go to the pub - drinking is always a good way to meet new friends. Join a society - join a sports club.

    If all else fails, you have us : )
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    I don't understand those that have to wait for months and months on a waiting list to see a shrink.

    I tell one person something and I have shrinks at my ****ing door within 30 minutes.

    Oh, and how does mental illness affect your life? I'm not actually allowed to go out of the house because I am a "risk to myself and others."
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    (Original post by orc7)
    1) How do you refrain yourself from wanting to kill/beat/strangle that girl every time you see her?
    Magic. Mainly a combination of saying to myself 'it's ok, I'm the bigger person' and the like. It's very, very hard not to have a go at her, but I appreciate and understand that she has mental health problems which caused her to do this sort of thing, and that she will also be going through things. I don't excuse what she did, but I do understand that she will have had problems which led to it, and that getting hung up on hatred is not productive.

    3) It took me a year to finally seek help when it came to a point that it had to be done, because you have a history of self harm and stuff are you sure you'll be okay til you go to Uni? As you probably experienced these things go down hill pretty rapidly.
    I imagine I'll be fine once I get to uni; it's just the getting there. Luckily I already have my grades (well, I only have to average 67% in German this year, and aside from that I already have the A*A I need for UCL) so I needn't worry on that front. I can't wait until I leave home, and I'm definitely motivated to hang on until then

    4) Did it not hurt when you self harmed? I know yeah it can be addictive, but surely it hurt? no?
    It's scary, but I actually find that it doesn't hurt. I don't know why this is, but I don't feel pain in the actual area I'm cutting; I get a lot of pain in the fingers which are holding the blade, and on the exact same spot on the other arm, but not in the actual location I'm damaging. I'm not sure why. It doesn't hurt in a way that you notice, either; you sort of think 'oh, I'm in pain' like it's someone else who it's happening to, and then your body releases endorphins and you're just too high on those to care. I really would not recommend it, though; don't start if you can help it!
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    (Original post by kerily)
    Why thankyou

    That's actually one of my motivating factors in working as hard as I can to meet my offer. (I know; I'm so cool. Everyone else is going there because it's the best university in the world, and I'm going there because I think I might feel an awful lot better and happier there ) With the intense terms and things, I've heard that they have a lot of help even for people who don't have diagnosed mental health problems or whatever. The disability people also seem lovely, so I'm hoping that I can get a diagnosis of depression/bipolar/whatever it is that's wrong with me as soon as I get there, and start to work through it with someone.

    Trouble is, I'm not entirely sure if I want to pursue counselling; I spent a couple of years in counselling between the ages of about 13 and 15, and I just found that nobody there took me seriously (mainly because all my issues were sex-related, and as I was a pretty unattractive and autistic early teenager, I got the general impression that nobody understood why someone would want to force me into sex.) But optimism triumphs, and I'm hoping to at least try the support services at uni and see if I can get anything positive from them
    It's not silly at all. Granted my college choice was quite influenced by the architecture but the main motivation was finding the tutor very friendly and caring on the open day, and thinking he'd look after me I'm sure Cambridge will give you as much support as possible


    (Original post by DreadfullyFun)
    Well, today I was conclusively told that I had early onset bipolar disorder! ...

    One question: would you rather be treated by a completely mentally sound Psychiatrist, or one that has experienced mental illness (but is in remission, of course)?
    :jumphug:

    I'm not sure what my answer would be tbh. I don't always feels like my psychiatrist understands me but then again I'm quite special I think I'd be worried that they might push their past issues onto me or use their own experience to diagnose me. I heard somewhere that psychiatrists have to undergo therapy themselves to make sure that doesn't happen, and I found that quite reassuring to learn :yes:




    (Original post by White Trash)
    I used to suspect I might be mentally unwell, but I don't think so anymore, I think it's purely circumstantial.

    I have no friends because I'm shy, I'm depressed because I have no friends, I feel like **** because I'm depressed, I feel anxious because I'm depressed, I took "meds" because the shrink said I was depressed, I hallucinate because of the "meds" ****ing up my brain, because of them ****ing up my brain I can't concentrate on uni and come across as even more weird, because I give stupid answers in class everyone thinks I'm a retard and won't be my friend hence I have no friends.

    Vicious cycle.
    Have you told the shrink about the negative effects the meds are having? :console:
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    it annoys me that i cannot cope with what is in the grand scheme of things basically a bit of light admin
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    A few people have said to me over the past month or so that they think i should go talk to someone. My problem is i let things build up and in my mind they seem a lot worse than usual, so then i get upset about little things too much and get paranoid and this generally makes things worse. I've been emailing my uni counselling system and they say that it sounds like maybe a hormone imbalance and i should maybe go see my GP? They also suggested making an appointment with them, but i feel like i kind of should deal with it on my own and that there is people with more serious problems than me out there. But then i look at it and see that due to the way i've been acting i've already lost a best friend and don't want to lose anyone else from my life
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    How has mental illness affected my life?
    lol
    It' more like how has life affected my mental illness
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    I had OCD when I was 10 - 16 years old. It took my family 3 years to finally realise there was something wrong with me. I was washing my hands for hours til they bled. I kept washing the dishes even when I dropped and broke them and then cutting me I still washed them. I would shower for hours as well. These are just a few of the more sane rituals, the other ones were horrible I'm not even going to talk about it. It's horrible because it literally takes control of your life. You set up a really strict routine/schedule for yourself, which you can't even follow anyway cause it has to be so perfect, which in turn adds more to the copious amount of anxiety and stress you are already feeling. When something small interrupts this routine, you go crazy.

    Worst part is, you're aware of it all. You're trapped inside your own mind each day hoping, screaming for help but you just can't. You're too scared of what others think of you. The social stigma. It's severely frustrating cause you know the things you're doing are illogical but you're being forced to do it just to get that fear away. Imagine this, every single day, every second for 6 years (even worse for some who have had it for over 20-30 years), as a 10 year old. Waking up each day only to do your rituals and then going back to sleep again knowing the next day will be the same. You become severely depressed really soon. And then when you become depressed you just give up and give into your OCD. It becomes a part of you. You lose sense of who you are.

    My parents didn’t handle this very well, maybe because they’re Chinese? I don’t know but I was kicked and spat on by my dad, got called demon possessed by my mum, was kicked out of the house many times into the streets. Heck, I actually enjoyed staying on the streets because my OCD was so bad it was like a break. I actually dreaded coming back even if it was in the winter and I had no shoes on cause I would just have to continue my rituals. On top of all this I got bullied at school. I was admitted to hospital a few times and stayed there for about a year.

    This OCD took me to hell many times. I missed lots of years in school because of it. I missed my GCSEs. I missed all the things a child should have done. I missed the chance of learning how to build relationships and friendships with others because I was stuck in the house by myself for 6 years doing all those rituals and now as a result, I'm really socially messed up. As a result of the OCD, I now have to put up with social anxiety and depression. So even after overcoming OCD, it’s left a big mess and I have to clean it all up. Honestly, I just feel resentment more than anything else. I feel like I lost my childhood. I lost 6 years of my life which I will never get back. After all those 6 years I just feel emotionally detached from everyone.

    In the end, despite the amount of psychologists/psychiatrists/therapists I saw, none of them helped at all. I had to overcome it all by myself. I even told them I had social problems which is very clear and they shrugged it off and now here I am 21 years old, socially incapable, which I will have to overcome as well, all by myself.

    So, mental illness has now been affecting me for 11 years and counting.

    Anyway, I'm trying really hard to come to terms with it and to try and see the positive things that came out of it...if any.

    http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/lost_years.html
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    In my opinion (so don't get cross), I think that the term depression is thrown around too lightly these days, say, compared to fifty years ago. I think that the bar for depression should be raised considerably to account for the added stresses and pressures of life in 2000, so that way people can stop saying they're depressed and can understand that even though they feel down, they are NORMAL.
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    (Original post by twist.the.illusion)
    In my opinion (so don't get cross), I think that the term depression is thrown around too lightly these days, say, compared to fifty years ago. I think that the bar for depression should be raised considerably to account for the added stresses and pressures of life in 2000, so that way people can stop saying they're depressed and can understand that even though they feel down, they are NORMAL.
    In some ways I agree with this, because if someone actually is depressed and says "I am depressed", people often don't take them seriously and it's very easy to just say "oh cheer up" without fully understanding the severity of the situation!
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    (Original post by gemma249)
    In some ways I agree with this, because if someone actually is depressed and says "I am depressed", people often don't take them seriously and it's very easy to just say "oh cheer up" without fully understanding the severity of the situation!
    The whole thing is about understanding. In the patient and in society. Understanding what depression means rather than the associated stereotypes.

    "Cheer up, it might never happen"

    I HATE that.
 
 
 
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