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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    **** nights sleep and woke up to the news of a death :cry2:


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    :hugs: :jumphug: :penguinhug: :console: so sorry to hear that Hun.. If you want to talk about it or anything for that matter I'm just a message away.. I know I've not been around lately as much.. But just holler if you do want to talk :hugs: hope your okay! Xx


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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    :hugs: :jumphug: :penguinhug: :console: so sorry to hear that Hun.. If you want to talk about it or anything for that matter I'm just a message away.. I know I've not been around lately as much.. But just holler if you do want to talk :hugs: hope your okay! Xx


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    Thanks hun. Currently sat on the sofa next to the boyfriend with my teddy waiting for my mum to tell me more
    Just so blah today and have a meeting thing later aswell


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    Feels like I'm slipping. Been hoping it was just a bad few days, but it's lasting longer and longer... hoping that it's circumstantial and maybe because I've not had cbt for a month, but I'm scared this is just me sinking back to where I was.
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    (Original post by IDukem)
    Not really, but i'm a master of illusion by not letting on that i'm struggling to keep it together at the seems in real life.
    :console: Feel free to PM me any time hun.

    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    **** nights sleep and woke up to the news of a death :cry2:


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    So sorry to hear that! Please feel free to PM me any time. You'll get through it but I know things are hard :sadnod:
    (Sorry I never replied to your quote last night btw, I fell asleep. )
    :jumphug:
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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Feels like I'm slipping. Been hoping it was just a bad few days, but it's lasting longer and longer... hoping that it's circumstantial and maybe because I've not had cbt for a month, but I'm scared this is just me sinking back to where I was.
    So sorry to hear that, I feel a bit the same :console: I know the last thing you probably wanna do is talk to me, but feel free to PM or catch me on Skype (though I barely go on at the moment) any time. Hope things improve and it's just a blip :hugs:
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    So sorry to hear that! Please feel free to PM me any time. You'll get through it but I know things are hard :sadnod:
    (Sorry I never replied to your quote last night btw, I fell asleep. )
    :jumphug:
    Cheers hun. Just a shock really
    Its ok hun, glad you got sleep and i hope your feeling better today :hugs:




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    (Original post by 08batee)
    :console: Feel free to PM me any time hun.
    I may in a bit, depends on whether i'm up for ranting/pouring la heart out But thank you! You've always been kind to me :hugs:
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Cheers hun. Just a shock really
    Its ok hun, glad you got sleep and i hope your feeling better today :hugs:




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    Yeah, that's understandable I hope things feel better for you soon hun, and I'm here whenever :hugs: Thank you, feeling okay today I think :yes:

    (Original post by IDukem)
    I may in a bit, depends on whether i'm up for ranting/pouring la heart out But thank you! You've always been kind to me :hugs:
    :jumphug: No worries hun, if you don't feel up to it now, then any time I'll do my best to try and help and I'll definitely listen. You're a lovely person and you don't deserve to be sad, please remember that :hugs:
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    :jumphug: No worries hun, if you don't feel up to it now, then any time I'll do my best to try and help and I'll definitely listen. You're a lovely person and you don't deserve to be sad, please remember that :hugs:
    I will at some point today, but I promise i'll shorten it as much as possible Just by being there is helpful and I apprieciate it a lot. Aww thank you, I feel that my hearts in the right place at least!! You're lovely too who deserves a tremendous amount of happiness and I have and will continue to believe in you! :hugs: I finally managed to rep you again haha, it's been forever since I last did
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    **** nights sleep and woke up to the news of a death :cry2:


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    :hugs: Sorry for your loss.

    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Feels like I'm slipping. Been hoping it was just a bad few days, but it's lasting longer and longer... hoping that it's circumstantial and maybe because I've not had cbt for a month, but I'm scared this is just me sinking back to where I was.
    :console: Is there anything you can do to change your circumstances and see if that has an effect? Hope things start looking up soon.
    • #18
    #18

    Oh man, today I realized that part of the reason I am scared of applying to internships and jobs is because I'm a lazy, immature loser. I don't even know why, for school uni I most often did hard work, and I achieved things. And since January I work part time twice a week full days so I mean 2/7 days a week to 5/7 days a week should be ok. But it's like my subconscious does not want to grow up. All the academic achievements mean nothing if I don't actually at least try applying.
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    **** nights sleep and woke up to the news of a death :cry2:


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    :hugs:

    You really aren't having a good time at the moment if you want to talk or just rant feel free to PM me.
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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Feels like I'm slipping. Been hoping it was just a bad few days, but it's lasting longer and longer... hoping that it's circumstantial and maybe because I've not had cbt for a month, but I'm scared this is just me sinking back to where I was.
    That's not good. Did anything change in your life that makes this a lasting thing?

    I hope you can turn it around soon! Do you know when your next CBT will be? If not can you make an appointment?
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    I mentioned in a reply to Sultana how I have been feeling 'ok' since last week. Nothing has changed but it feels good yet kind of strange.

    I had a small moment of testing my okayness this morning.

    I stumbled across the Facebook of an ex close friend, someone I had issues with at school and was one of the main reasons I left school friendless. I saw pictures of her graduation and how amazingly she has done. Before last week this wouldn't have made my mood more worse but it definitely wouldn't have helped but today I kind of felt happy for her/ didn't really care!

    It was such a weird moment for me!

    How's everyone?
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    **** nights sleep and woke up to the news of a death :cry2:


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    :jumphug: sorry to hear about your loss. We're all here for you. Hope tomorrow night is better. x

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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    **** nights sleep and woke up to the news of a death :cry2:


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    I'm so sorry to hear that :jumphug:. I'm here if you want to talk about anything.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh man, today I realized that part of the reason I am scared of applying to internships and jobs is because I'm a lazy, immature loser. I don't even know why, for school uni I most often did hard work, and I achieved things. And since January I work part time twice a week full days so I mean 2/7 days a week to 5/7 days a week should be ok. But it's like my subconscious does not want to grow up. All the academic achievements mean nothing if I don't actually at least try applying
    I am not sure about your situation but having a mental illness makes motivating yourself a lot more harder. Your clearly capable of achieving things so I wouldn't say you're a lazy person and you're certainly not a loser... it's just hard. I'm kind of similar... worked super hard and school and college but kind of gave up at uni and just went through the motions.

    Is there anyone that can help you to apply... a friend or family? Sometimes having support can help motivate you. Then again there is no harm in taking a break for a bit... You just need to think about what is best for you.

    Good luck with whatever you decide :hugs:
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    So sorry to hear that, I feel a bit the same :console: I know the last thing you probably wanna do is talk to me, but feel free to PM or catch me on Skype (though I barely go on at the moment) any time. Hope things improve and it's just a blip :hugs:
    Thanks hun. Don't have a computer atm so typing is too much effort to be worth it mostly.. sorry you're feeling low as well.

    (Original post by superwolf)
    :console: Is there anything you can do to change your circumstances and see if that has an effect? Hope things start looking up soon.
    Going to stay with Nut. for a few days next week so I can have some space to myself and safe-time. It's only a few days though and I still have over 2 months of this before I can go back to uni. Moaning about my family makes me totally horrible. But my mum is really unhelpful and knows how weak i am. My sister is horrible to me because she can see straight through to what a **** person I am. My brother is alright just drug addiction makes him so unpredictable and violence prone. And I hate myself for feeling so unsafe around my dad.

    (Original post by danny111)
    That's not good. Did anything change in your life that makes this a lasting thing?

    I hope you can turn it around soon! Do you know when your next CBT will be? If not can you make an appointment?
    Came home from uni a bit over a month ago. Can't go back until early October. Have been clinically depressed for over 5 years so it was already a lasting thing, but my current med combination took me from people talking about hospital to 'only' moderate depression. I'm suicidal again so think I'm back at severe. Not extreme (according to my psychiatrist/therapist's system, extreme is as bad as it gets and when hospital starts getting talked about) but like.. I know I'm not far away. And I dunno how I went from slowly getting better to getting **** again, or if it's my fault. Maybe I didn't try hard enough. I don't know.

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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Thanks hun. Don't have a computer atm so typing is too much effort to be worth it mostly.. sorry you're feeling low as well.



    Going to stay with Nut. for a few days next week so I can have some space to myself and safe-time. It's only a few days though and I still have over 2 months of this before I can go back to uni. Moaning about my family makes me totally horrible. But my mum is really unhelpful and knows how weak i am. My sister is horrible to me because she can see straight through to what a **** person I am. My brother is alright just drug addiction makes him so unpredictable and violence prone. And I hate myself for feeling so unsafe around my dad.



    Came home from uni a bit over a month ago. Can't go back until early August. Have been clinically depressed for over 5 years so it was already a lasting thing, but my current med combination took me from people talking about hospital to 'only' moderate depression. I'm suicidal again so think I'm back at severe. Not extreme (according to my psychiatrist/therapist's system, extreme is as bad as it gets and when hospital starts getting talked about) but like.. I know I'm not far away. And I dunno how I went from slowly getting better to getting **** again, or if it's my fault. Maybe I didn't try hard enough. I don't know.

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    Don't say that. I am having a similar problem of not trying hard enough, but I think I can't try any harder without breaking down and crying.

    And yes 5 years is a lasting thing then, I can't even imagine what that must be like so yes, living with that for 5 years, I think you try hard enough! I really do
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    (Original post by danny111)
    Don't say that. I am having a similar problem of not trying hard enough, but I think I can't try any harder without breaking down and crying.

    And yes 5 years is a lasting thing then, I can't even imagine what that must be like so yes, living with that for 5 years, I think you try hard enough! I really do
    :hugs:

    Just realised I wrote early August. I wish, haha. Meant early October, though my friend is leaving me the key to her flat when she goes on holiday so I can theoretically go back earlier if home is unbearable. Also forgot to answer your question about cbt. I have an appointment in a week.
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