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    Sorry I've got a few PMs from you guys to reply to, but I just can't right now. I'll get back to you asap.
    I literally can't do anything. I've felt unbearably low recently and it's stealing everything away. I ache from feeling so low. I literally can't. Like no way.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Hey. Don't feel bad about posting on here - we've all got a right to, no matter what the problem, or even if you just want a chat.

    Have you ever been on beta blockers? You seem to be talking about the physical symptoms of having panic attacks etc. quite a lot, so do you think that with the physical symptoms gone you might be able to cope better with the mental ones? If you're open to medication then it might be something to discuss with the doctor tomorrow.
    Hey, sorry i haven't been able to respond, i've been attending to other tasks. My appointment is tomorrow and i'm still nervous that i'm wasting their time and that they'll tell me i'm just being weak. I've never been on beta blockers, in fact i'm not even sure what they are. I think i could cope much better with the negative mental thoughts if there was some way i could control the physical reaction.

    Thanks.

    I'm having a lot of personal doubt at the minute. I feel like i'm on the wrong career path but it's too late to turn back. The interview i have in 2 weeks is keeping me stressed but i'm just as worried that if i did get the job, i'd suck at it. I'm so bad at having self confidence that i feel i'm just going to crack under any pressure, responsibility scares me a lot. But you get that in any job really so i should stick to what i'm doing.
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    (Original post by HmMusic)
    Hi everyone, sorry about not posting for such a long time! I have a good reason, I promise.

    And that reason is

    Attachment 233758

    Scott Harry Fletcher was born on Saturday 20th July at 6:38am, weighing 7lb5oz.

    I've been in hospital for a very long time, not only the mental health unit over the past 3 weeks but also having to stay in the maternity ward after the birth. Now we are home and I'm feeling very good, even if a little sleepy. It's good to not have a big bumpy baby belly any more, and the most amazing little man to show for all the trouble over the last few weeks.

    Birth story (not for faint hearted!):

    Spoiler:
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    I went into labour on Thursday evening after my sweep, with my waters breaking at 1:30 on Friday morning. It was a long, drawn out process as I was in early labour for all of Friday until 12:30am, when I was taken to the delivery suite. Scott was in a back-to back position, when he should have been lying with his back to the left, so it was very traumatic for me. I got very high on gas-and-air and apparently said some really funny things, and finally had an epidural which unfortunately didn't numb much of the pain as it normally would because of the pressure of his position. He got stuck on the way out too so the midwives had to use a suction cup on his head to pull him out. When he was finally born and it was all over he was absolutely perfect!

    After the birth I had to stay in hospital for 48 hours due to my medication. On the second day the doctors found he had a heart murmur and he was looking jaundiced, so I had to stay in another night. It was the worst night imaginable, waiting for the news. My bf has a heart condition which affects every male in his family, which means they generally die in their 50s, so it was awful, awful news. The next morning the blood results came back and a doctor did a check on him. There was nothing causing his jaundice and his heart murmur had gone! We came home yesterday at 4:30, knackered but relieved.


    I really want to thank Tyrion_Lannister and Anonymous#1 for their awesome support over the last few weeks, so if you guys see this I appreciate what you've done for me more than you will ever know.

    Hey, wasn't around earlier, so a late congratulations from me
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    Sorry I've got a few PMs from you guys to reply to, but I just can't right now. I'll get back to you asap.
    I literally can't do anything. I've felt unbearably low recently and it's stealing everything away. I ache from feeling so low. I literally can't. Like no way.
    No pressure at all, we just want you feeling better than you are now and i'm personally here if you need :hugs:
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    Not sectioned, just have to comply with their stupid medication. Could be worse.
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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Not sectioned, just have to comply with their stupid medication. Could be worse.
    Glad you weren't sectioned. It's worth trying the meds - you know they can take weeks/months to properly kick in, etc. :console:

    :hugs:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Glad you weren't sectioned. It's worth trying the meds - you know they can take weeks/months to properly kick in, etc. :console:

    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Not sectioned, just have to comply with their stupid medication. Could be worse.
    Glad to hear you weren't sectioned. Hope the meds start to work soon


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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Not sectioned
    Good to hear. So they really came to your door like that? That would scare me.
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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    :kissing2:
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    #1

    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Girly stuff, beware.

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    why the **** did my idiot doctor take me off the pill? She said if I wasn't using it as contraception then the blood clot risk is unjustifiably high... but that totally ignores the fact that being on my period is totally incapacitating. Am not sure anyone who hasn't experienced this stuff realises how triggering it is to bleed a ****tonne without any warning or predictability. Adding to that a ****load of pain really does wonders to make ptsd more bearable... gotta love pain triggered flashbacks. I can't deal with this and it's just making me want to die. Even though I know it will be over in a week or so and I can lie if that is what's necessary to get the pill, I just can't do it anymore. I don't know how.
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    Erm, what the hell?! Regular blood pressure checks etc. are carried out while you're on the Pill to check it's still suitable for you, so surely it would be OK for you to stay on it for your periods, unless there's something in your family history which indicates the Pill carries a higher risk for you, but if that were the case, it wouldn't have been prescribed in the first place. The Pill is used for reasons other than contraception due to the impact irregular/heavy periods can have on your life, and generally, I assume most doctors believe the non-contraceptive purposes outweigh the risks as otherwise they wouldn't prescribe it for periods... I would be very pissed off if someone told me to stop taking it as I'm not on it for contraception! I became really anaemic because of my periods, and it became even more necessary to get them under control... This doesn't make much sense, but I reckon you should go and see another GP to talk about it. It does seem really ridiculous, and I definitely sympathise with you. Periods are **** at the best of times. :jumphug:
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    (Original post by IDukem)
    No pressure at all, we just want you feeling better than you are now and i'm personally here if you need :hugs:
    Thanks hun :hugs: Sorry, for like, everything.

    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Not sectioned, just have to comply with their stupid medication. Could be worse.
    Good to hear :hugs:
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    Thanks hun :hugs: Sorry, for like, everything.
    You have nothing to be sorry for :hugs:
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Just getting down thoughts/ feelings, you can read it if you can be arsed

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    feeling very odd tonight, not sure if it's good or bad. A year a go I was in a full time job, earning money doing a course I loved with great friends and a happy family, saying bye to my brother who was off to china for a year. I was happier than I had been in a long while.
    This year I have no job, failed the degree I loved, with no friends, my brother is away for another year or 2, my sister Iain a horrible relationship and is having a kid with a horrible person. My step dad wants me to move out of the house ASAP and my mum has no time for me because she's working all the hours god sends to pay for my step dads hobby.
    The only good thing in my life currently is my boyfriend. I don't even know why he's with me. I'm a horrible girlfriend and a mess, both physically and mentally.

    He doesn't even know but I freak out whenhe kisses parts of me as it triggers memories, I panic when I'm left alone with his family, and I feel so lonely when he sleeps during the day. I'm so selfish.

    My behaviour is getting worse I'm slowly destroying myself, and I can't even stop. He's so supportive of me, and helps me out so much. He deserves better.

    I'm selfish with my sister, because I'm feeling so low I want all my mums attention, but my sister is getting it, and I try to steal my mum away, she's even turning down work to set aside days when I go back home, because I want her to, not because she wants to, because I'm forcing her to.

    My boyfriends mum is also being so nice to me, she's taking me up to the drs tomorrow so I can try and get more meds, she doesn't need to do that at all! I don't deserve help and I certainly don't deserve support.

    I know people will read this and see it as a moan, but it's genuinely how I feel, I don't know how the **** to deal with all these thoughts and feelings, it's so ****ing hard. I just don't know anymore




    Posted from TSR Mobile
    :hugs: You're looking at things from a very negative point of view, always stressing how much you don't deserve things and how rubbish and selfish you are. This is simply not true! There are all kinds of reasons why people would want to help you out and be around you - you only have to ask and I'm sure they'll think of dozens. I know it's really hard to see things from another perspective when you're feeling so down, but honestly it's worth trying, because life isn't/doesn't have to be nearly as bad as you think.

    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    Fell and smashed my knee in the shower today and I have another day of teambuilding activities that will probably require a hell of a lot of movement. Really not looking forward to it but I can't sit out as I'm supposed to be the one getting everyone involved.

    Weighed myself this morning and i'm finally (and healthily) starting to lose my mirtazapine weight at a consistent kinda pace so that's perked me up a little. I'm hoping that the next two weeks of strenuous activities will get me back into the rhythm of working out daily.

    Still having to use all my energy to avoid another relapse though. I'm hoping I'll be okay once I'm away at camp on Monday or that I'll be too tired to do anything about it.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    :console: Poor knee, hope it gets better soon.

    Fantastic about losing the mirtazapine weight though, I hear that's really hard to shift. :yy:

    (Original post by HmMusic)
    Aching all over, extremely exhausted, got to go to the ward I was staying in before the birth for a ward round meeting. I have already had to phone them twice in the past few days due to not coping. I feel like I'm ready to be discharged from the unit now but I need to make sure the proper mental health support is put in place for me. I feel like I'm going to get PND.
    :hugs: Like has been said, it's good that you're aware of the possibility of PND, but that doesn't mean you'll actually get it. It sounds like you're actually doing exactly the right thing - reaching out for help when you need it, and thinking sensibly about what support you could do with. Probably doesn't feel at all like you're coping, but actually I'd say you're doing really well!

    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Girly stuff, beware.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    why the **** did my idiot doctor take me off the pill? She said if I wasn't using it as contraception then the blood clot risk is unjustifiably high... but that totally ignores the fact that being on my period is totally incapacitating. Am not sure anyone who hasn't experienced this stuff realises how triggering it is to bleed a ****tonne without any warning or predictability. Adding to that a ****load of pain really does wonders to make ptsd more bearable... gotta love pain triggered flashbacks. I can't deal with this and it's just making me want to die. Even though I know it will be over in a week or so and I can lie if that is what's necessary to get the pill, I just can't do it anymore. I don't know how.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Wow, what a dumbass! If you understand the risks of being on it and prefer those possibilities to the definite fact of being in pain/triggered every month then I'd say you have every right to demand to go back on it. :yes:


    (Original post by james1211)
    Hey, sorry i haven't been able to respond, i've been attending to other tasks. My appointment is tomorrow and i'm still nervous that i'm wasting their time and that they'll tell me i'm just being weak. I've never been on beta blockers, in fact i'm not even sure what they are. I think i could cope much better with the negative mental thoughts if there was some way i could control the physical reaction.

    Thanks.

    I'm having a lot of personal doubt at the minute. I feel like i'm on the wrong career path but it's too late to turn back. The interview i have in 2 weeks is keeping me stressed but i'm just as worried that if i did get the job, i'd suck at it. I'm so bad at having self confidence that i feel i'm just going to crack under any pressure, responsibility scares me a lot. But you get that in any job really so i should stick to what i'm doing.
    You're not wasting anybody's time. :nah: Beta blockers are drugs that work on the physical symptoms of stress, like a racing pulse, hormones released, that kind of thing (someone correct me if I'm wrong, I don't know a massive amount about them, and most of that's from wikipedia ). So basically they'd make you outwardly appear less stressed, and some people find that that's enough to help them cope with the mental symptoms as well. They're pretty low on side-effects when compared to something like antidepressants, some of which are also recommended for anxiety, so if the physical symptoms are the main thing bothering you then beta blockers might well be worth a go. I'd recommend having a read through of Mind's page on anxiety - it gives a good overview of the kind of things you might be experiencing but find hard to describe, as well as listing treatment options.


    Why do you feel like it's too late to turn back? I don't know how old you are, but there are usually various kinds of ways of changing career paths. If you're totally certain you'll hate the job you're applying for then it sounds like you should definitely think about changing, but otherwise maybe give it a go, and see how you like it? Either way it's good to talk things over, so feel free to post as much as you like about it.

    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Not sectioned, just have to comply with their stupid medication. Could be worse.
    :five: Hope the meds aren't too bad.
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    Can't stop crying long enough to do the work I need to get done. :cry2: Hate this so much and don't know why I have to be so flipping pathetic. Just want to curl up and hide.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    You're not wasting anybody's time. :nah: Beta blockers are drugs that work on the physical symptoms of stress, like a racing pulse, hormones released, that kind of thing (someone correct me if I'm wrong, I don't know a massive amount about them, and most of that's from wikipedia ). So basically they'd make you outwardly appear less stressed, and some people find that that's enough to help them cope with the mental symptoms as well. They're pretty low on side-effects when compared to something like antidepressants, some of which are also recommended for anxiety, so if the physical symptoms are the main thing bothering you then beta blockers might well be worth a go. I'd recommend having a read through of Mind's page on anxiety - it gives a good overview of the kind of things you might be experiencing but find hard to describe, as well as listing treatment options.


    Why do you feel like it's too late to turn back? I don't know how old you are, but there are usually various kinds of ways of changing career paths. If you're totally certain you'll hate the job you're applying for then it sounds like you should definitely think about changing, but otherwise maybe give it a go, and see how you like it? Either way it's good to talk things over, so feel free to post as much as you like about it.
    Thanks for that link, i've been making notes to take to the GP appointment because i'd forget to mention everything. What's written in there was useful, it'll help me articulate myself.

    I guess i'm afraid to turn back now because i've spent money on my degree and i don't want to feel like a quitter. My mate got an apprenticeship straight out of A levels doing something i always wanted to do but didn't know how to. I'm a very controlling person and like to be secure and that apprenticeship gives him a job at the end automatically. It's not near the kind of pay i'd expect doing what i currently do but that doesn't bother me in the slightest, i'd rather do something i enjoyed and had less responsibility (don't deal well with it) than something that pays more but i'll constantly fear i'll mess up.

    I'm also worried that i'm just telling myself i don't want to do it as a defence mechanism and that i'm just jealous that my mate has a job already and i don't. It's maybe my self confidence, that's why i'm reluctant to change paths now incase it isn't for the right reasons.

    I also feel in limbo because i want to finish my degree and work in the job for a bit to really see whether i do or don't like it before doing anything but that apprenticeship is only running for three years and i can't see there being other opportunities in that field afterwards. I only went to university because i was pressured into it from my college but didn't realise they were pushing me to it for their own targets not because it was the best decision for me.

    I'm studying Building Surveying at the minute and he's doing his apprenticeship for Nexus who run the railway network round here - it's a job for life but my current path is unstable.

    Appreciate anyone who listens and i hope i can return help to the community in here, i just don't know people very well at the minute
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    (Original post by tasha96)
    Can't stop crying long enough to do the work I need to get done. :cry2: Hate this so much and don't know why I have to be so flipping pathetic. Just want to curl up and hide.
    Some days i feel like that, it's hindering my productivity which makes me feel guilt, which in turn makes me feel worse and then i'm even less capable of doing what i'm supposed to be doing.

    I usually put down the work for an hour, watch a tv show that makes me happy until i forget about my problems then when it's done i pick up the work immediately and go until the bad feelings come back.

    Good luck
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    (Original post by tasha96)
    Can't stop crying long enough to do the work I need to get done. :cry2: Hate this so much and don't know why I have to be so flipping pathetic. Just want to curl up and hide.
    Awww lovely, you're not pathetic at all - I promise. Need to go save my mum from my dad (he's having one of his mega-rants) but let's chat soon, yes yes? :hugs:
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    It is a fact that no-one would notice if I was gone. I'm probably breaking rules but I'm running out of excuses to not just "leave".
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    (Original post by zonkfrog)
    It is a fact that no-one would notice if I was gone. I'm probably breaking rules but I'm running out of excuses to not just "leave".
    :hugs:
    Im pretty sure people would notice.
    From what iv seen your nice and friendly and help people so im sure thats the same IRL too


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