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    • #49
    #49

    I'm not sure if it's even appropriate to post here, but I'll give it a go anyway, what's the worst that can happen?

    I'm not even sure what I'm going through can be deemed as a mental illness and I'm not sure where to start. My parents always suffered from a turbulent relationship - lots of shouting and such which I guess at a young age isn't pleasant. But as time went on, I realised that it wasn't just shouting, there was physical abuse too. I witnessed my father hitting my mother with a belt, attempting to push her down the stairs... so many things I couldn't even go on with. Many times my mother packed a bag for the two of us and drove around all night so we wouldn't have to go home. I'd cry for hours and hours but the next day, my father would apologise and I wanted the happy family I saw "everyone else" having and I wanted that too. The police became regular fixtures in my household but I guess I always maintained that I was fine, and so everything ticked on accordingly. I never told anyone at school, as my father had an amazingly squeaky clean image (he was a police officer himself) and I just assumed that anyone I told would think I was lying. All the violence and blood and the tears carried on until I turned 17 and my mother finally had the courage to leave. At the same time, my uncle (on my dad's side) died, and due to me being "on my mother's side", I wasn't allowed to the funeral, and so, I guess, I was never allowed to grieve.

    I managed to keep up with school and work but things were changing in my head. I started going through obsessive phases of panicking about where my mother was even if she was 2 or 3 minutes late from work. I'd always think she'd been in a car accident or she would never come back home for whatever reason. If I saw a car outside our house that I didn't recognise, I'd assume the person inside the car was watching us, and that something really bad would happen to me if I left the house. All these weird overwhelming feelings took over everything I did, and I became suspicious of everyone's motives... mainly irrational looking back on it all now. Feeling out of sync with all of my friends and bursting into tears at crazy times became part and parcel of daily life. Suicidal thoughts would creep in and I'd lie in bed wondering how easy it would be if life just had some sort of switch, and I could flick it to the off position. Naturally, I didn't want my friends to know so I kept going with the happy-go-lucky me that I seemed to be able to act out really well. I'm in my first year of university now and I guess the feelings of losing control are still scaring me. The feelings of loneliness and alienation seem to be growing, I think I may have been to 2 or 3 lectures this year so far and I'm not sure how I've managed to get away with only having one disciplinary meeting so far. Sleeping all day and staying awake all night just thinking seems to be much more appealing even though I want to go and learn. I get scared of myself, thinking that no one will like me or I'll say something stupid. I mean, this itself written down seems really stupid but the thoughts manifest in my brain to a degree where I just don't go in to university, I stay in my own bubble. But this gives my mind time to wander and the amount of times I've considered doing something really stupid to myself is crazy.

    It was really nice to write all of that down and (hopefully) not get judged by anyone. It's a scary time for me right now as I'm away from my support network, and even then I've never really spoken to my mother at length about things as I feel that she may feel some guilt for the situation although of course, nothing was her fault. The knock on effects of whatever I'm experiencing has been massive - crazy mood swings, amazingly low self esteem... to the point where I've never had any sort of relationship as I get scared of letting men in too close and I'd probably get paranoid of their whereabouts. I always suspect everyone's lying to me even when they aren't. Whatever this is is just taking over everything I do and I have no idea what's going on or who to turn to. So... how it's affecting me? I'm not sure because I know at some point previously I was a happy carefree child. But all this has been going on for so long that I don't quite know what to do or who to turn to. Or... what's even wrong with me... It's just frightening.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by you7me)
    i've had mild anorexia for months and i only found out the other day
    how has this affected me??
    i don't show the physical signs which revolve around being underweight and whatever (i'm average) so no one can spot any proper signs and i can't talk about it to anyone so while everyone's [in my family] eating nice and healthily...or atleast healthy for asians! i'm not.
    i've also developed trust issues with the very few of my friends who found out the day i did coz the look on my face seemed to scream ''there's something wrong with me''

    on the plus side, i found out i'm a really good actress! :lol:
    I'm sorry, I couldn't let this go without a reply.
    :hugs:
    I have no idea why you've got negged. In ethnic minority families, especially, it seems like no-one looks out for eating disorders because they think it's a 'white person thing'. In my case, my mum knew before I had a clue anything was wrong with me but no-one listened to her because she was insisting I had an ED since I was about 7 or 8 so...
    I'd definately tell you to get help because at least you can acknowledge that you have a problem. I've had people accusing me of having an ED forever even when I was eating 'normally' (I've always hated food) so that when I actually did develop one and *sort of* knew, I was in really deep denial and it didn't go away until I was hospitalised.

    Your friends care about you. Trust them with it. One of the horrible things about anorexia is it forces you to withdraw from everyone. I didn't tell my friends and I lost most of them. Talk to them because they love you and hopefully they'll be good enough to support you.

    Biologically, things get even harder when you get below a certain weight so it's better to get treatment when you're at a weight that's 'normal' than it is to get treatment when your brain can't handle it. Making yourself more ill to get treatment just complicates things. And don't judge the severity of your anorexia by your weight either, it's easy to get into the 'I'm not ill because my weight is X' trap. Believe me, you don't want the physical signs.
    What I'm trying to say is, make sure you get help as early as possible. Because the longer you leave it, the harder it gets to live without it.


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure if it's even appropriate to post here, but I'll give it a go anyway, what's the worst that can happen?

    I'm not even sure what I'm going through can be deemed as a mental illness and I'm not sure where to start. My parents always suffered from a turbulent relationship - lots of shouting and such which I guess at a young age isn't pleasant. But as time went on, I realised that it wasn't just shouting, there was physical abuse too. I witnessed my father hitting my mother with a belt, attempting to push her down the stairs... so many things I couldn't even go on with. Many times my mother packed a bag for the two of us and drove around all night so we wouldn't have to go home. I'd cry for hours and hours but the next day, my father would apologise and I wanted the happy family I saw "everyone else" having and I wanted that too. The police became regular fixtures in my household but I guess I always maintained that I was fine, and so everything ticked on accordingly. I never told anyone at school, as my father had an amazingly squeaky clean image (he was a police officer himself) and I just assumed that anyone I told would think I was lying. All the violence and blood and the tears carried on until I turned 17 and my mother finally had the courage to leave. At the same time, my uncle (on my dad's side) died, and due to me being "on my mother's side", I wasn't allowed to the funeral, and so, I guess, I was never allowed to grieve.

    I managed to keep up with school and work but things were changing in my head. I started going through obsessive phases of panicking about where my mother was even if she was 2 or 3 minutes late from work. I'd always think she'd been in a car accident or she would never come back home for whatever reason. If I saw a car outside our house that I didn't recognise, I'd assume the person inside the car was watching us, and that something really bad would happen to me if I left the house. All these weird overwhelming feelings took over everything I did, and I became suspicious of everyone's motives... mainly irrational looking back on it all now. Feeling out of sync with all of my friends and bursting into tears at crazy times became part and parcel of daily life. Suicidal thoughts would creep in and I'd lie in bed wondering how easy it would be if life just had some sort of switch, and I could flick it to the off position. Naturally, I didn't want my friends to know so I kept going with the happy-go-lucky me that I seemed to be able to act out really well. I'm in my first year of university now and I guess the feelings of losing control are still scaring me. The feelings of loneliness and alienation seem to be growing, I think I may have been to 2 or 3 lectures this year so far and I'm not sure how I've managed to get away with only having one disciplinary meeting so far. Sleeping all day and staying awake all night just thinking seems to be much more appealing even though I want to go and learn. I get scared of myself, thinking that no one will like me or I'll say something stupid. I mean, this itself written down seems really stupid but the thoughts manifest in my brain to a degree where I just don't go in to university, I stay in my own bubble. But this gives my mind time to wander and the amount of times I've considered doing something really stupid to myself is crazy.

    It was really nice to write all of that down and (hopefully) not get judged by anyone. It's a scary time for me right now as I'm away from my support network, and even then I've never really spoken to my mother at length about things as I feel that she may feel some guilt for the situation although of course, nothing was her fault. The knock on effects of whatever I'm experiencing has been massive - crazy mood swings, amazingly low self esteem... to the point where I've never had any sort of relationship as I get scared of letting men in too close and I'd probably get paranoid of their whereabouts. I always suspect everyone's lying to me even when they aren't. Whatever this is is just taking over everything I do and I have no idea what's going on or who to turn to. So... how it's affecting me? I'm not sure because I know at some point previously I was a happy carefree child. But all this has been going on for so long that I don't quite know what to do or who to turn to. Or... what's even wrong with me... It's just frightening.
    I just want to give you a hug. :hugs: I can identify with so much of this but I just don't know what to say. Have you had any therapy/counselling?

    Anorexia and depression here. :sigh:
    Put it this way, if I'm not suicidal and nonfunctional, I'm starving. If I'm not starving, I'm suicidal and nonfunctional. When I starve too much and for too long I'm even more suicidal and nonfunctional than I am when I'm 'merely' depressed. :sigh: Flippant but it sums up how both illnesses feed into each other pretty well.

    I forgot to eat one day two weeks ago (I just wasn't hungry...) and here I am on a downward spiral again. This is after 8 months of physical recovery- can't say I ate properly or was emotionally ok because I wasn't but my weight was ok and that seems to be the only thing doctors/family care about. Now my weight has dropped again and the anorexic thoughts/urges are even more powerful than they were before. I can't believe it's happening so quickly again at the worst possible time but it's made me so happy I have to hold on to it. I was holding on to university and the possibility of having a life but I've stopped caring- why have I stopped caring? All I want is my anorexic bubble. I know it's the last thing I need with A level exams coming up and, frankly, I don't have time for this ****. I need to revise and I need to do well in my exams. I'm terrified about my future because of this. If it doesn't kill me, it's definitely going to destroy my life. I can't get to that point. But knowing something intellectually and being able to act on it are two different things. I can't seem to stop it and I'm scared. I don't have anyone I can really talk to about it because everyone will think I'm a failure after spending so long in hospital before and my mum thinks it's an issue of willpower, when it's not. It's just a complete disconnection and failure to realise that logic= reality and anorexia logic isn't true.
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    (Original post by twist.the.illusion)
    In my opinion (so don't get cross), I think that the term depression is thrown around too lightly these days, say, compared to fifty years ago. I think that the bar for depression should be raised considerably to account for the added stresses and pressures of life in 2000, so that way people can stop saying they're depressed and can understand that even though they feel down, they are NORMAL.
    How will that help them? What added stresses and pressures?

    I can appreciate that environmental pressures can make 'depression' more common and even an understandable / expected reaction or state, all things considered; but the right reaction to this wouldn't seem to be to say that depression is just "normal" and not something that it would be right to help people with.

    I think pretty much all professionals are agreed that talking therapy is the best treatment for mild-moderate depression, and what that says to me is that social, cultural and economic conditions are a big problem if it takes an institutionalised profession to provide the kind of support that should (ideally?) be provided by more or less informal social groups (in the same way that social services provide services to patch up or deal with problems caused by social, economic and cultural conditions).

    It doesn't make those problems any less real (or indeed, any less physical - we shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that just because something is a reaction to social conditions, that it isn't a physical reaction), and while I agree that our attitude to mental illness and treating it has become very individualised, that doesn't mean treating it on an individual level should be sidelined. - The problem isn't just with overmedicalising normality, it's with overindividualising mental illness as such, and giving it a sharp distinction from "social illness".

    I'd also add that very serious major depression can be triggered by all the same stressors that trigger milder depressions in others. There's not necessarily a sharp difference qualitatively such that you can raise the bar and say that depressions worse than level x are "real" depressions and others are environmental. There's always a complex interaction between biology, genetics, personality disposition, events and environment.

    But, to be honest, I don't understand why this thread is attracting so many posts like these. Whenever people talk about their problems like this there's always someone who has to pop up and juuuuuust :fyi: say that people should man up, basically. Like, why? OK, you think depression is overdiagnosed but why do you have to come to a thread for people talking about how their mental health problems have affected them to say that? :dontknow:
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    (Original post by littleshambles)
    How will that help them? What added stresses and pressures?

    I can appreciate that environmental pressures can make 'depression' more common and even an understandable / expected reaction or state, all things considered; but the right reaction to this wouldn't seem to be to say that depression is just "normal" and not something that it would be right to help people with.

    I think pretty much all professionals are agreed that talking therapy is the best treatment for mild-moderate depression, and what that says to me is that social, cultural and economic conditions are a big problem if it takes an institutionalised profession to provide the kind of support that should (ideally?) be provided by more or less informal social groups (in the same way that social services provide services to patch up or deal with problems caused by social, economic and cultural conditions).

    It doesn't make those problems any less real (or indeed, any less physical - we shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that just because something is a reaction to social conditions, that it isn't a physical reaction), and while I agree that our attitude to mental illness and treating it has become very individualised, that doesn't mean treating it on an individual level should be sidelined. - The problem isn't just with overmedicalising normality, it's with overindividualising mental illness as such, and giving it a sharp distinction from "social illness".

    I'd also add that very serious major depression can be triggered by all the same stressors that trigger milder depressions in others. There's not necessarily a sharp difference qualitatively such that you can raise the bar and say that depressions worse than level x are "real" depressions and others are environmental. There's always a complex interaction between biology, genetics, personality disposition, events and environment.

    But, to be honest, I don't understand why this thread is attracting so many posts like these. Whenever people talk about their problems like this there's always someone who has to pop up and juuuuuust :fyi: say that people should man up, basically. Like, why? OK, you think depression is overdiagnosed but why do you have to come to a thread for people talking about how their mental health problems have affected them to say that? :dontknow:
    Calm down! This is a place to express opinions and that's what I did!

    First of all. I think you've completely missed my point. My concern is simply that your mind plays tricks on you. There was some psychological experiment (the name of it eludes me right now), that showed if you gave a group of people a set of symptoms they would all end up believing that they in fact were suffering from whatever disease the symptoms were supposed to be portraying. Depression has still has such a stigma attached to it that in fact saying you suffer from depression can actually make you feel more depressed. My point was if you feel normal like the next guy over who's suffering from the same thing, you might feel a little better about said depression.

    I didn't say anything about 'manning up' at all so please don't try and read what isn't there.

    Just to add too; I didn't say that depression is overdiagnosed. What I was getting at is that everyone seems to be affected by it these days and doesn't that in itself make the whole thing 'normal'.
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    (Original post by twist.the.illusion)
    Calm down! This is a place to express opinions and that's what I did!

    First of all. I think you've completely missed my point. My concern is simply that your mind plays tricks on you. There was some psychological experiment (the name of it eludes me right now), that showed if you gave a group of people a set of symptoms they would all end up believing that they in fact were suffering from whatever disease the symptoms were supposed to be portraying. Depression has still has such a stigma attached to it that in fact saying you suffer from depression can actually make you feel more depressed. My point was if you feel normal like the next guy over who's suffering from the same thing, you might feel a little better about said depression.

    I didn't say anything about 'manning up' at all so please don't try and read what isn't there.

    Just to add too; I didn't say that depression is overdiagnosed. What I was getting at is that everyone seems to be affected by it these days and doesn't that in itself make the whole thing 'normal'.
    it's normal to get colds and infections and any number of other things, doesn't mean they're not illnesses

    i'm perfectly calm, the last paragraph was more generally directed to a lot of posts of late along similar lines

    i don't see the relevance of what you're saying to be honest. that's all true but that doesn't mean that conversely, minimalisation or denial of your feelings will make you feel better or that *avoiding* saying you suffer from depression will make you feel better. thinking of depression as a normal thing that many people go through would go some way to removing the stigma and thus some of the suffering, but it won't go any length at all to removing the reality of those feelings for the section of people that go through it
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    (Original post by littleshambles)
    it's normal to get colds and infections and any number of other things, doesn't mean they're not illnesses

    i'm perfectly calm, the last paragraph was more generally directed to a lot of posts of late along similar lines

    i don't see the relevance of what you're saying to be honest. that's all true but that doesn't mean that conversely, minimalisation or denial of your feelings will make you feel better or that *avoiding* saying you suffer from depression will make you feel better. thinking of depression as a normal thing that many people go through would go some way to removing the stigma and thus some of the suffering, but it won't go any length at all to removing the reality of those feelings for the section of people that go through it
    Who said anything about denial of people's feelings?

    Isn't the whole point of this thread to share experiences and feelings so that other people can relate and you don't feel so alone? You know there's other people feeling similar things to yourself. I mean, that doesn't 'go any length to remove the reality of those feelings', does it? But it helps.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've suffered from pretty severe OCD for five years now; it crushed myself confidence and made me a pretty messed up individual.

    Only now am I kind of coming to terms with the fact that I really do need help (taken long enough)..and I'm so tired of having to pretend everything's okay- I daren't moan about it incase I annoy people.

    My parents still don't know but I hate to admit I can't help but feel ashamed and embarassed even though I know I shouldn't.

    Anyway, I'm interested in how people handle it whether it's yourself or someone you know.

    I think that there should be more of an emphasis on recognising mental illnesses because in my experience nobody really talks about them because they're kind of invisible if you get what I mean and my parents have often just labelled me as a 'hormonal' teenager :/

    Depression has affected my life by causing me to not want to get out of bed, lack of concentration and listening and filling my head with paranoia and feelings that life isnt worth living, I finished Secondary school with just 64% attendance and 3 GCSE's.

    I believe that my depression caused me to be vunerable to bullying, because it made me feel so un sociable ' they wont like me' etc etc, In the end, I made friends but they enjoyed humiliating me and causing mental abuse so much that I decided to commit suicide, thank god I survived, but It will always haunt my memory.

    I'm in college now, And I have real bad issues with trusting people, I have mood swings that cause me to seem high or withdrawing from drugs, and because of my tust issues, I just cant tell people about my depression, so they can think whatever.

    I know that society is un educated about depression, I wish it could be made more of an important issue to be made aware of, but sadly, this doesnt look like its going to happen any time soon, so in the meantime people like me have to be taught how to deal with the ignorance of others which sucks.

    Ive got an alright bunch of friends in college now, and I have one best friend who I could not like without, She has members of her family with depression so she understands, I really hope I find more people like her through life.

    I try to look on the brightside of life though, and Im hoping to go to herts uni in 2012, and to get more counselling as I havent been in about a year.


    Sorry if its tl;dr !
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    Ive just been to see the doctor about my 'low mood' - they wont put a label on it until they know for definite. But basically ive got a form of depression or anxiety, and it just makes me feel like a worthless person that doesnt deserve happiness.
    Luckily, Ive got a great support network of friends, boyfriend, and parents who were surprisingly supportive when i told them (for ages ive just apparently been having 'silly girly moments' according to them) and a great psychiatrist who is really down to earth and tells it like it is.

    But it has affected my relationship. It causes me to be really irritable and I become a ***** over the slightest thing. Im trying so hard not to let it cause issues.
    Its also affected uni cos i just cant get the motivation to go in. The only thing i do is work because i know ill get fired if i dont go.

    But im trying to be upbeat. Got a meeting with my uni tutor, my boss at work knows, so has reduced my workload to something i can cope with, and ive joined a poledancing class to have something to take my mind off all the stress.
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    Yeah, I have Awesomeness Syndrome. Had it since the day I was born, symptoms include being awesome.
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    (Original post by blinkbelle)
    My mum's had bipolar my entire life and it's gone untreated. This has effectively reversed the mother-daughter relationship with us and also had a knock-on effect on my self esteem etc.

    My dad is currently suffering from depression and anxiety, and has done so for 3 years now. We're hoping he'll be off the prozac soon and back to his old self. This has had a pretty mahoosive impact on my life as I've always relied on my dad to be a solid influence - kind of necessary given my mum's disposition. It's really been hard these past few years and I've felt more alone than ever before.

    I've also suffered from mental health problems intermittently through my life - inevitable really given the family history. I feel like I've come out of it a stronger person though, so it's all good. xx
    My gf has pretty severe depression and her mom has (most probably) had depression for years but is in complete denial, so her mother-daghter relationship has pretty much been reversed too.

    When she was nine she used to "tuck" her mum into bed every night and listen to all her problems. It didn't help that she couldn't say anything to her mom because she would just kind of swing it arround to kind of be about her (ie if my gf would have gone to her if she was upset, within a few minuits she would be comforting her mom (in tears), rather than the other way arround!)


    All I can say to people is that it can get much better, after years of struggling with different meds we found one that works (with out too bad side effects) though councilling was useless.

    Stick with it, things can get alot better!
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    (Original post by twist.the.illusion)
    In my opinion (so don't get cross), I think that the term depression is thrown around too lightly these days, say, compared to fifty years ago. I think that the bar for depression should be raised considerably to account for the added stresses and pressures of life in 2000, so that way people can stop saying they're depressed and can understand that even though they feel down, they are NORMAL.
    I agree somewhat - it is thrown arround lightly. If someone has a few days of being unhappy, they are not depressed.

    When people have spent years "feeling down" and the situation has changed (so they probably should be feeling quite happy) but they still can't function properly and are still very very unhappy, well somethings just gone wrong in their brain and It needs medical atention!
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    (Original post by using_the_force)
    Please don't think like that : ( One has to look on the positive side of life. Take up a hobby, usually sports make one feel happier - I remember I went to the gym during a stressful and depressing time and I actually felt better.
    In class, think before you answer. If you don't know the question, don't feel compelled to answer because you believe it's going to get you noticed.
    As or friends, try first with your neighbours. Make small talk with them. Invite them to go for coffee sometime. Or, find a gourp in your lectures/class/course and go out with them. Go to the pub - drinking is always a good way to meet new friends. Join a society - join a sports club.

    If all else fails, you have us : )
    Thanks for the reply. But believe me, I've tried. I've spent the last 4 years completely alone, as in going weeks and weeks without talking to anyone but my doctor, I've done everything I can think of to make friends, I've read books, and looked on the internet, watched youtube videos, asked here, but mostly I just try all the time at societies and being friendly to everyone I meet.

    Like I say though, I put it down to the medication, whilst before I was shy now I come across as a jittering retard weirdo so no wonder no one wants to know me.


    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Have you told the shrink about the negative effects the meds are having? :console:
    I told everyone who'll listen and everyone refuses to believe me. Just put things down to me being "ill". :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by twist.the.illusion)
    Who said anything about denial of people's feelings?

    Isn't the whole point of this thread to share experiences and feelings so that other people can relate and you don't feel so alone? You know there's other people feeling similar things to yourself. I mean, that doesn't 'go any length to remove the reality of those feelings', does it? But it helps.
    Yeah... Which was my point in the first place.

    So I don't understand why you made your post here. Why do you assume anyone in this thread is in the bracket of people whose depression should be ratcheted up to "normal".

    You know what.... Whatever.
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    As soon as I wake up, all hope fades, I struggle every single day, med's don't help, I barely socialise with anyone other than the friends I have now, can go from feeling okay, to struggling to cope in minutes, just feel constantly unhappy, alone, anxious, I went from being really out going to be extremely introverted, can't even keep eye contact any more...

    The best part of my day is going to sleep, if I'm lucky...
    • #30
    #30

    Seriously, how hard is it to get an actual diagnosis?

    I have more than a strong suspicion that I'm manic-depressive, first spoke to my GP around last Octoberish and have seen countless useless people with little (more accurately, NO) outcome at all.

    I wish I could have a proper diagnosis, mainly so that I can say to my parents and such 'look, I am officially not just being an arse' and get some decent help as well.

    I have a key worker who often cancels appointments at the last minute and is pretty much no help at all, which is outrageous, in my opinion.

    Most days it is more than fact that my life sucks. That is mental illness in my rage of the day,
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    what is it actually like to suffer from depression?

    whenever i feel down i just say **** it and get on with life

    yeah im a blunt bast btw...
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    What makes you feel like nothing is enjoyable?
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    (Original post by thru sun and rain)
    What makes you feel like nothing is enjoyable?
    Feelings of detachment and isolation, the fact that little simple things present massive difficulties, on a 'normal' day I wouldn't even be on here because it's just hard to face doing things, especially when you don't have to do them. The little energy I get is focussed on the boring, compulsory stuff, like a set of binomial expansion questions I spent 3 times the recommended time doing earlier today.
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    (Original post by vixen23)
    Feelings of detachment and isolation, the fact that little simple things present massive difficulties, on a 'normal' day I wouldn't even be on here because it's just hard to face doing things, especially when you don't have to do them. The little energy I get is focussed on the boring, compulsory stuff, like a set of binomial expansion questions I spent 3 times the recommended time doing earlier today.
    Have you thought of trying something new? Instead of thinking I don't have energy to do it, just go and do it any way. I know it sounds like something quite trivial. But finding something small that you have wanted to do for a long time and doing it really does give you a boost. For example going to a cinema, or to a museum or art gallery.
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    I know quite a lot of people who suffer from mental illnesses. It is hard to be around them sometimes. I know they can't help it, but it is hard to bear, and no one wants to see someone they love and care about suffer so much. Some things do get to me though, like a lot of these people genuinely believe I'm not Darth Vader.
 
 
 
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    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

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