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According to the people on this forum, for a guy to just get an average girl.. Watch

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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    It's not a problem at all if you have other good traits (humour, confidence, sociable etc.) which are above average and work on the bits which can be changed like body, hair, clothes, scent.
    Personality helps sure. But you need to be able to express it for it to be a deciding factor for her.

    That's where you need to pick the right venues to meet women.

    Clubs/bars/online dating - forget it if you are average and ethnic.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    That's where having good mates as an average asian guy helps a lot.

    Take the following scenario (I have been in this one so many times) -

    You meet a girl, you like her, but you are not her type initially/or she is 50-50.

    Now in a night club environment, what would typically happen, she will find a way to disqualify me quickly. Especially if I am not her type initially. It is even worse in the virtual world, Tinder etc.

    I am a stranger - and the way she will look at it, why should I waste my time with you?

    Now if you are popular, well liked in your social circle, say more so than her.

    This can play in your favour.

    Her friends can be instrumental in helping her from going 50/50 to giving you a shot to chat to her. It is up to you than, to be charming enough to get her on dates etc.

    I can understand why the OP is frustrated, because this is quite longwinded and pretty frustrating sometimes even though it works. Sometimes as a guy, you want things to be nice and simple, rather than having to break down barriers just to get a shot.
    It's long-winded yes but at least you get there in the end.

    On this point I agree 100%. The same advice I would give someone who's struggling in the job market, I would also give to guys struggling in the dating market. 'Network and make contacts' or in this case build a network of friends that include women - if you get close to one girl don't make her your primary target, think wider than that. Because even if she doesn't fancy you (dreaded friendzone) what she will do if she thinks you're a great guy is hook you up with one of her friends. Girls like playing match maker and even for those girls who wouldn't typically sniff in your direction, a good character reference from a friend will 9 times out of 10 at least get you a look in with them. The rest is up to you of course.

    This is advice for getting relationships though, not getting a quick lay. To be honest if you're not attractive, don't even bother trying to be a player.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Personality helps sure. But you need to be able to express it for it to be a deciding factor for her.

    That's where you need to pick the right venues to meet women.

    Clubs/bars/online dating - forget it if you are average and ethnic.
    Forget it if you are average of any race lol, in London and such places anyway. Location matters too. Ever been to a club before where the guys standing on the sidelines of the dancefloor and staring at girls are vastly white and average/below average looking... there is your answer.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Personality helps sure. But you need to be able to express it for it to be a deciding factor for her.

    That's where you need to pick the right venues to meet women.

    Clubs/bars/online dating - forget it if you are average and ethnic.
    True.

    So they should adopt above strategy.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    Forget it if you are average of any race lol, in London and such places anyway. Location matters too. Ever been to a club before where the guys standing on the sidelines of the dancefloor and staring at girls are vastly white and average/below average looking... there is your answer.
    But the ones actually getting with girls will be mostly white (and black too tbh).
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    (Original post by SloaneRanger)
    Difference is you have learnt this through trial and error! You wanted something u went out to get it. Even though your a bad closer.

    TSR is full of over sex girls, its just about qualifying them.
    It's about thinking outside the box, and trying to put the odds in your favour, when you are at an disadvantage.

    You will make mistakes, but that goes with everything in life. You just learn from them.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    It's long-winded yes but at least you get there in the end.

    On this point I agree 100%. The same advice I would give someone who's struggling in the job market, I would also give to guys struggling in the dating market. 'Network and make contacts' or in this case build a network of friends that include women - if you get close to one girl don't make her your primary target, think wider than that. Because even if she doesn't fancy you (dreaded friendzone) what she will do if she thinks you're a great guy is hook you up with one of her friends. Girls like playing match maker and even for those girls who wouldn't typically sniff in your direction, a good character reference from a friend will 9 times out of 10 at least get you a look in with them. The rest is up to you of course.

    This is advice for getting relationships though, not getting a quick lay. To be honest if you're not attractive, don't even bother trying to be a player.

    Tbh this sounds like the average guy would have much less power in the relationship than the girl. Recipe for long term disaster imo. Yes of course he will get the relationships... but it is as if the girl has the more material value so he should be the one doing all of the running. And she can ditch him at the drop of a coin and he will find it difficult to recover from that. Whereas she will have plenty of options. Imo, if the guy is not attractive and the girl is not particularly nice as a person, I would try and persuade him to see the girl as a casual relationship. Not a quick lay, but in his mind he must not see her as anything serious if she feels that she is the superior one. Relationships are about equality and an even distribution of respect.
    Guys like the op often settle for girls who totally use them and make a fool out of them. I hope his desperation does not lead him to making poor judgments of character. A man's dignity should be very important to him.
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    (Original post by what is this)
    Bro I lift 4x a week and dress well. I look after myself pretty well.
    Sorry bro, I didn't read the first post correctly. I got mixed up. Either way, I know really ugly people who are overweight to have insanely hot skinny girlfriends, unfortunately girls like that are a rare breed as most girls require a guy to be 9.9/10, even if they are ugly them selfs.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    But the ones actually getting with girls will be mostly white (and black too tbh).
    London clubs are unpleasant places for ethnic minorities apart from blacks and whites. Plenty of racism. Sure, say an ethnically Chinese/Arab/Asian man may pull if he has the looks, but the racism? No thanks.

    Also, why would these men want racist women? Lol. Unless they have no dignity.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    It's long-winded yes but at least you get there in the end.

    On this point I agree 100%. The same advice I would give someone who's struggling in the job market, I would also give to guys struggling in the dating market. 'Network and make contacts' or in this case build a network of friends that include women - if you get close to one girl don't make her your primary target, think wider than that. Because even if she doesn't fancy you (dreaded friendzone) what she will do if she thinks you're a great guy is hook you up with one of her friends. Girls like playing match maker and even for those girls who wouldn't typically sniff in your direction, a good character reference from a friend will 9 times out of 10 at least get you a look in with them. The rest is up to you of course.
    Yeah, been in situations where I have asked a girl out, she rejects me, then I ask her mate out later on. Her friend who rejects me ironically puts in a good word for me with the other girl

    This is advice for getting relationships though, not getting a quick lay. To be honest if you're not attractive, don't even bother trying to be a player.
    Yeah , def agree.

    I think you can still do it, but you basically have to be extremely high value in some way. That's why you get ugly, but powerful guys with hot women.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    It's about thinking outside the box, and trying to put the odds in your favour, when you are at an disadvantage.

    You will make mistakes, but that goes with everything in life. You just learn from them.
    Yep, but try not to position yourself at a disadvantage. Like remember u said ur surname is royalty, hype yourself up. Don't be like jalebi.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    London clubs are unpleasant places for ethnic minorities apart from blacks and whites. Plenty of racism. Sure, say an ethnically Chinese/Arab/Asian man may pull if he has the looks, but the racism? No thanks.

    Also, why would these men want racist women? Lol. Unless they have no dignity.
    Thats where I saw the Saudi girl, in a club over in Covent Garden.

    They are places you go for a laugh with your friends, to get drunk.

    If you get lucky, well that is a bonus.

    It's important when you go out, to carry a mindset where you are not outcome oriented.
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    (Original post by SloaneRanger)
    Yep, but try not to position yourself at a disadvantage. Like remember u said ur surname is royalty, hype yourself up. Don't be like jalebi.
    Too wrapped up in my own world to really care to be honest.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Thats where I saw the Saudi girl, in a club over in Covent Garden.

    They are places you go for a laugh with your friends, to get drunk.

    If you get lucky, well that is a bonus.

    It's important when you go out, to carry a mindset where you are not outcome oriented.
    Tbh, in London I saw a lot of urban type of women (white, asian , persian etc) with black men. Was a bit cringe really. Tulisa types. I have rarely seen middle/upper class women with black men. It's a ghetto fetish thing imo.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    Tbh this sounds like the average guy would have much less power in the relationship than the girl. Recipe for long term disaster imo. Yes of course he will get the relationships... but it is as if the girl has the more material value so he should be the one doing all of the running. And she can ditch him at the drop of a coin and he will find it difficult to recover from that. Whereas she will have plenty of options. Imo, if the guy is not attractive and the girl is not particularly nice as a person, I would try and persuade him to see the girl as a casual relationship. Not a quick lay, but in his mind he must not see her as anything serious if she feels that she is the superior one. Relationships are about equality and an even distribution of respect.
    Guys like the op often settle for girls who totally use them and make a fool out of them. I hope his desperation does not lead him to making poor judgments of character. A man's dignity should be very important to him.
    That's what happens if you don't have much going for you.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    Tbh this sounds like the average guy would have much less power in the relationship than the girl. Recipe for long term disaster imo. Yes of course he will get the relationships... but it is as if the girl has the more material value so he should be the one doing all of the running. And she can ditch him at the drop of a coin and he will find it difficult to recover from that. Whereas she will have plenty of options. Imo, if the guy is not attractive and the girl is not particularly nice as a person, I would try and persuade him to see the girl as a casual relationship. Not a quick lay, but in his mind he must not see her as anything serious if she feels that she is the superior one. Relationships are about equality and an even distribution of respect.
    Guys like the op often settle for girls who totally use them and make a fool out of them. I hope his desperation does not lead him to making poor judgments of character. A man's dignity should be very important to him.
    This sounds like a weak/insecure man's mentality. This nonsense about 'power' is the reason why people struggle to have normal healthy relationships nowadays.

    You assume women have power because you assume they want the same thing. Sex.
    If it were just about that than yes I would say us women have the upper hand. We don't need to make that much effort if that's all we wanted; as it is that's not the case. Most women want love above sex. How many women do you think actually get this? This is why men struggle to get sex; because women adopt various strategies and put up walls to stop men getting it. Why? Because you get men using women as **** banks and ruthlessly discarding them after. Every girl's nightmare. In the history of dating I'd argue more women than men have been subject to cheating and abuse (physically/mentally and verbally).This power you think women have does not exist if you look at the long term (post sex where the man has then got what he's wanted).
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    London clubs are unpleasant places for ethnic minorities apart from blacks and whites. Plenty of racism. Sure, say an ethnically Chinese/Arab/Asian man may pull if he has the looks, but the racism? No thanks.

    Also, why would these men want racist women? Lol. Unless they have no dignity.
    I agree. But then it's often because they have a similar 'racist' mentality and only want to date (usually) white women.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    London clubs are unpleasant places for ethnic minorities apart from blacks and whites. Plenty of racism. Sure, say an ethnically Chinese/Arab/Asian man may pull if he has the looks, but the racism? No thanks.

    Also, why would these men want racist women? Lol. Unless they have no dignity.

    I'm Chinese and I'm heading to the UK (hopefully London) next year for university. It's kinda sad to know i'll face racial discrimination even though I don't speak any Mandarin and hate Asian culture in general.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    I agree. But then it's often because they have a similar 'racist' mentality and only want to date (usually) white women.
    And what about the men who do not have the racist mentality and also face racism even from their own race and other minorities for not being white (or black in some cases because black men are glorified)?
    Many Arab looking men for example would love to date an Arab woman, many of them (both the men and the women) are attractive. But, if their own women are racist towards them how does that look seriously?

    Racism is just that, racism, does not matter what the person has in terms of qualities or looks... it's just a blind discrimination, maybe even a hatred. I think this self-hating racism is worse than any racism of the past in terms of it just being plain humiliating for minorities.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Yeah, been in situations where I have asked a girl out, she rejects me, then I ask her mate out later on. Her friend who rejects me ironically puts in a good word for me with the other girl



    Yeah , def agree.

    I think you can still do it, but you basically have to be extremely high value in some way. That's why you get ugly, but powerful guys with hot women.
    Well that's because your friend doesn't fancy you, doesn't mean she can't see you have good qualities that other women would find attractive.

    Yes you need to be high value but I'm referring more to TSR guys
 
 
 
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