Depression Society MkII Watch

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Laus
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#5121
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#5121
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
I so don't want to go out tonight. Knocked on my flatmates door nearly an hour ago and she was just starting to get ready so she said she'd knock back when she's done; I'm totally paranoid that they'll just leave without me. (It wouldn't be the first time, or the second)
Nasty, I don't understand people like that. If they leave you, they aren't worth going out with. Just make sure you're ready I guess. But, if you don't want to go, don't go... It's not nice being left behind though.
vapid slut magician
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#5122
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#5122
(Original post by Laus)
I think it's nice to get a feel for the place. I visited Warwick - in my head it was going to be completely different, so I'm glad I went.
I could never be bothered
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Laus
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#5123
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#5123
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
I could never be bothered
I didn't visit York though. York > Warwick. So it doesn't really matter!
*pink_sapphires*
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#5124
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#5124
I went to London today. It was fun Meant to be out with friends tonight but I bottled it because I can't bear to have to tell them I failed and dropped out. They'd ignore me so I'm staying in to prevent an awkward scenario. Very tired and have this bizarre burning sensation in my leg. Had it for a few days. At first I thought it was the heating on my leg from my car but I soon realised that it isn't because it's constantly warm So yeah...think I'll go to bed now. Not going to go on any recruitment websites as no one will want to employ me anyway

Hope everyone is ok :hugs:
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Laus
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#5125
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#5125
I'm so fed up of feeling like this. It always come back. Always. I can understand why people kill themselves when they start to feel better. They're so scared that it won't last for more than a day or two.
Pocket Calculator
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#5126
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#5126
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
I went to London today. It was fun Meant to be out with friends tonight but I bottled it because I can't bear to have to tell them I failed and dropped out. They'd ignore me so I'm staying in to prevent an awkward scenario. Very tired and have this bizarre burning sensation in my leg. Had it for a few days. At first I thought it was the heating on my leg from my car but I soon realised that it isn't because it's constantly warm So yeah...think I'll go to bed now. Not going to go on any recruitment websites as no one will want to employ me anyway

Hope everyone is ok :hugs:
you don't have to tell them you failed! can't you just say you didn't like the course, that it wasn't for you? and don't think so negatively about getting a job. you can't let yourself think like that. you'll need one! :hugs:
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Pocket Calculator
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#5127
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#5127
(Original post by Laus)
I'm so fed up of feeling like this. It always come back. Always. I can understand why people kill themselves when they start to feel better. They're so scared that it won't last for more than a day or two.
i had the urge earlier today. really properly had it. wandering round town on my own aimlessly, holding back tears. this next month could quite easily be the worst month of my life so far. don't let it happen. talk to people on here at least. keep your mind off it. read, play games, watch something. chin up old gal x
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Laus
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#5128
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#5128
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
i had the urge earlier today. really properly had it. wandering round town on my own aimlessly, holding back tears. this next month could quite easily be the worst month of my life so far. don't let it happen. talk to people on here at least. keep your mind off it. read, play games, watch something. chin up old gal x
Thanks PC. I just feel so empty and numb. I have a horrible feeling in my stomach and chest. It's physical but there's nothing physically wrong with me. It drags me down. Makes me want to sleep for a week.

I'm sorry you had that urge. I've almost cried in town before. I just go in a cafe and nurse a cup of tea for a hour, or something.
kiss_me_now9
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#5129
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#5129
(Original post by Laus)
Nasty, I don't understand people like that. If they leave you, they aren't worth going out with. Just make sure you're ready I guess. But, if you don't want to go, don't go... It's not nice being left behind though.
In the end the girl texted me from the kitchen (which thankfully I found amusing) and we all went out... Somewhat of an eventful night, one of the lads got kicked out of the club 10 minutes before closing because he was so drunk and the rest of us were up until half 3/4ish trying to find him because he'd buggered off and he was just in a tank top and cargo pants...

So. much. work!:shifty:
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kiss_me_now9
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#5130
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#5130
(Original post by Laus)
Thanks PC. I just feel so empty and numb. I have a horrible feeling in my stomach and chest. It's physical but there's nothing physically wrong with me. It drags me down. Makes me want to sleep for a week.

I'm sorry you had that urge. I've almost cried in town before. I just go in a cafe and nurse a cup of tea for a hour, or something.
There's a little park in Canterbury that I go and sit in when I'm feeling ****. It's so peaceful and quiet... a cafe would be way too many people for me.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#5131
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#5131
Kiss_Me_Now...I've just realised that you're at UKC. I just dropped out from there. Didn't like it Are you living on campus?

PC...I'd tell them that I didn't like the course, but they'd still see it as a failure. It's just people's way.

I'm so annoyed that I've only just got up and dressed. Means I've wasted a day and then later I won't get to sleep and argh! I need to go to bed EVERY night at 10.30pm, not just Sunday - Thursday. I'm trying to do a load of stuff today...christmas cards, making lists of stuff that I HAVE to do each day and have to tick off and my personal statement. The idea of doing my personal statement is filling me with dread because I can't get a reference. Going into school AGAIN tomorrow to see what I can do. So scared though. Don't like thinking about it
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kiss_me_now9
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#5132
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#5132
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
Kiss_Me_Now...I've just realised that you're at UKC. I just dropped out from there. Didn't like it Are you living on campus?
Really? Can I ask why? Yeah, I'm up on Parkwood, the flats.

I'm not getting changed today either... I'll shower later, really cba at the moment though.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#5133
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#5133
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
Really? Can I ask why? Yeah, I'm up on Parkwood, the flats.

I'm not getting changed today either... I'll shower later, really cba at the moment though.
Ha, you lived reallllllly close to me. I was living in the houses in Purchas Court. I left because I didn't like my course. I lost all of my motivation, couldn't concentrate or understand a thing and I ended up in a right mess. Emailing lecturers didn't help either. They didn't want to know. So yeah, I got myself into a right mess and decided that I should leave as I wasn't enjoying it and didn't want to go down a Biomedical route at the end of it. I didn't like Canterbury much either. How are you finding it anyway?
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Nothos
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#5134
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#5134
(Original post by YAP)
If you're finding it unsettling, it's not just you - I don't like to think of myself as nuts or loopy etc..
Wow, Jesus, I didn't mean to upset anyone or imply anything, I just wanted to say that I prefer using silly terms to describe serious things. I'm sorry if I belittled you in anyway :hugs:
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kiss_me_now9
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#5135
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#5135
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
Ha, you lived reallllllly close to me. I was living in the houses in Purchas Court. I left because I didn't like my course. I lost all of my motivation, couldn't concentrate or understand a thing and I ended up in a right mess. Emailing lecturers didn't help either. They didn't want to know. So yeah, I got myself into a right mess and decided that I should leave as I wasn't enjoying it and didn't want to go down a Biomedical route at the end of it. I didn't like Canterbury much either. How are you finding it anyway?
Honestly? Pretty much the same as you found it. I just haven't been allowed to leave.
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Laus
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#5136
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#5136
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
There's a little park in Canterbury that I go and sit in when I'm feeling ****. It's so peaceful and quiet... a cafe would be way too many people for me.
I make sure it isn't crowded and I find a corner so I can hide. When I came back home from uni for the first time, I started crying in a cafe (I was with my mum, though). I honestly couldn't help it. I did all I could not to. It was a couple of days after I had cut myself and taken a load of pills. God that was awful. It feels like it happened in another lifetime.
Laus
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#5137
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#5137
(Original post by BruceTaylor)
Wow, Jesus, I didn't mean to upset anyone or imply anything, I just wanted to say that I prefer using silly terms to describe serious things. I'm sorry if I belittled you in anyway :hugs:
I wouldn't worry about it too much. We all have different ways of dealing with stuff. YAP isn't the kind of person to hold a grudge (at least, I don't imagine he is). And neither am I. How are you?
Nothos
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#5138
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#5138
(Original post by Laus)
I wouldn't worry about it too much. We all have different ways of dealing with stuff. YAP isn't the kind of person to hold a grudge (at least, I don't imagine he is). And neither am I. How are you?
That's good to know

A lot better than Wednesday to say the least. Indeed I feel pretty damn good. Certainly I still feel pretty rough mentally, but I can't help but feel a different outlook after coming so close to the brink...
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Pocket Calculator
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#5139
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#5139
the agonising loneliness continues. i haven't even spoken to anyone yet today.
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vapid slut magician
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#5140
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#5140
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
The idea of doing my personal statement is filling me with dread because I can't get a reference. Going into school AGAIN tomorrow to see what I can do. So scared though. Don't like thinking about it
have you tried ringing Connexions or something? Can you not use your old reference?

It shouldn't be that hard to find someone to write a reference; have you asked every lecturer/tutor from uni as well?
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