Depression Society MkII Watch

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Laus
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#5141
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#5141
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
the agonising loneliness continues. i haven't even spoken to anyone yet today.
Why don't you go for a walk, or something. It can help, sometimes.
ro-ro
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#5142
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#5142
I'm sat right now in the messiest bedroom you've ever seen. I'm wondering if I'm going to have the strength to not go and buy alcohol or drink what's in the flat tonight. I know I need to tidy up and cook myself some tea but I can't quite manage it.
I went to my SIA training today and did my first of two tests. The shortest time the exam paper has been completed in before was 11 minutes and I did it in 6 minutes. Meh.
Everyone's gone home, my housemate and I fell out before she left and I feel very lonely and sad we aren't speaking.
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kiss_me_now9
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#5143
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#5143
(Original post by ro-ro)
I'm sat right now in the messiest bedroom you've ever seen. I'm wondering if I'm going to have the strength to not go and buy alcohol or drink what's in the flat tonight. I know I need to tidy up and cook myself some tea but I can't quite manage it.
I went to my SIA training today and did my first of two tests. The shortest time the exam paper has been completed in before was 11 minutes and I did it in 6 minutes. Meh.
Everyone's gone home, my housemate and I fell out before she left and I feel very lonely and sad we aren't speaking.
Text your flatmate or phone her? What did you fall out about?

And I'll disagree with the messy bedroom comment, trust me, 99% of the time where I drop something it stays. :o: It's hard to believe looking at my room right now that it was tidier than it's ever been just under two weeks ago!

Please don't sit in your room and drink by yourself... Have you got a good book to throw yourself into or something else instead? :hugs:
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ro-ro
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#5144
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#5144
I emailed her when I was more sober and she'd had time to calm down but she hasn't replied and I don't want to push her because she started the argument and I've already tried to open discussion between us about what happened and why we both ended up feeling upset.
I might watch some tv and have a little tidy up. I tidied up a week ago but I have to do it today because we have a flat inspection tomorrow. I dunno what to have for tea either and I'm so cold. I guess I'm just having a grouchy day. I want it all to come easy for one day!! (I know it won't)
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*pink_sapphires*
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#5145
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#5145
Kiss_me_now - sorry to hear you're not having a good time at Kent either :hugs: have you made any friends there? what flats are you in? i can put you in touch with some people if you want?

VSM - my uni lecturers don't know me at all. they don't speak to students and i only ever had two pieces of assessed work there so they wouldn't be much use. my school say they can't give me a reference because i've decided to do a completely different course and i didn't do music or business a levels so they don't think i'm suited to it and can't say that i am. how are you today?

Hi ro-ro, sorry to hear about your argument with your flatmate i'm exactly the same with regards to tidying my room! it's a right mess but i can't be bothered to tidy it as things simply don't have homes
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Thicky
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#5146
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#5146
nm
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kiss_me_now9
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#5147
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#5147
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
Kiss_me_now - sorry to hear you're not having a good time at Kent either :hugs: have you made any friends there? what flats are you in? i can put you in touch with some people if you want?
Friends? Aren't they things that other people have? Problem is after the excitement of moving here and after Freshers etc. I got so low down that I just wasn't communicating with anyone - My flatmates even thought I'd gone home for a week a while ago So any chances of friendships have well and truly gone. And because I haven't got anyone to talk to or just be friends with, I get even more depressed and the whole thing starts again. I've got acquaintances; people I see on a night out or on campus and say hi to, but no-one I'd call a real friend. There are a few girls in my German class who are nice and friendly and I talk to a lot, but it's still very much at the beginning of a relationship. I'm meant to be moving in with two of them next year (we're in the process of trying to find a house) but I feel so unenthusiastic about it at the minute I just can't be bothered to try and get to know them better, which isn't good because eventually they'll just say alright then, stuff you missy! I miss having my old familiar friends around, who I didn't have to make an effort with or watch what I was saying to (I am an incredible blunt, tactless person sometimes; I just say what I'm thinking and I don't think before I speak a lot of the time). People who know me. I still talk to them and tbh the majority of the MSN/Facebook messages I get are from them, because I just don't have the will power to get to know anyone here properly, I guess.

Did you use the counselling service? The idea of only having five sessions or whatever and that's it kinda puts me off...
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*pink_sapphires*
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#5148
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#5148
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
Friends? Aren't they things that other people have? Problem is after the excitement of moving here and after Freshers etc. I got so low down that I just wasn't communicating with anyone - My flatmates even thought I'd gone home for a week a while ago So any chances of friendships have well and truly gone. And because I haven't got anyone to talk to or just be friends with, I get even more depressed and the whole thing starts again. I've got acquaintances; people I see on a night out or on campus and say hi to, but no-one I'd call a real friend. There are a few girls in my German class who are nice and friendly and I talk to a lot, but it's still very much at the beginning of a relationship. I'm meant to be moving in with two of them next year (we're in the process of trying to find a house) but I feel so unenthusiastic about it at the minute I just can't be bothered to try and get to know them better, which isn't good because eventually they'll just say alright then, stuff you missy! I miss having my old familiar friends around, who I didn't have to make an effort with or watch what I was saying to (I am an incredible blunt, tactless person sometimes; I just say what I'm thinking and I don't think before I speak a lot of the time). People who know me. I still talk to them and tbh the majority of the MSN/Facebook messages I get are from them, because I just don't have the will power to get to know anyone here properly, I guess.

Did you use the counselling service? The idea of only having five sessions or whatever and that's it kinda puts me off...

I know exactly how you feel. None of them really feel like friends. I found uni to be the lonliest experience ever. It made me really appreciate my friends back home. I'd never been somewhere where I didn't know anyone and it was so scary. Everyone seems to get into groups really really quickly at uni and I always felt like the outcast as I wasn't in any group really. I often wonder if people were only friends with the people they were friends with for logistical reasons. I mean, everyone around me in Purchas Court seemed to get on really really well and I know for a fact that some of those "friendships" weren't actually friendships at all because people were always *****ing to me about others behind their backs!

No, I never used the counselling service. I had a very bad experience with admin staff in Fresher's Week (I was the only girl in my house and they were so rude to me about it and made me cry. I moved in the end but that was dealt with by me finding someone to swap with, not by accommodation moving me) After that I was far too scared to speak to any admin type of person. I needed to a see a doctor but I refused to go because I was so scared they'd be like the accommodation people. However, 5 sessions might be better than nothing. Actually...thinking about it...I know someone at Kent who went to the dr there and they referred her elsewhere and she's been seeing someone in Canterbury since the 1st week of term. Maybe it's worth a trip to the doctors instead?
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ro-ro
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#5149
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#5149
I dunno what the counselling service is like at Kent but our counsellng service at bournemouth says it offers five but they will make exceptions. So I am booked in for long term counselling because of my depression. You should speak to them because they can always give you an initial five to help you now and also refer you to another agency so by the time you finish those 5 you get some more long term suppot.

I haven't made loads of friends but I know everyone which is weird. Not everyone makes friends at uni straight away you've got loads of time here and while the transition is hard try to just take baby steps. I struggle with committing to stuff but I always do a Wednesday with one of my closer friends at uni. We might go clubbing or to the cinema but the most important thing is it's some contact. Maybe arrange to do something you enjoy with one of your accquaintances like the cinema which doesn't involve alcohol and then you can form a proper bond with the a bit better. Once you've made a couple of good friends the rest will come alot easier.
I know it's hard to make friends but you always have people on TSR and if you hang on a bit longer it might get better. Joining an extra curriculur might help as well. RAG are pretty good and don't expect too much time and they are all friendly!
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kiss_me_now9
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#5150
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#5150
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
I know exactly how you feel. None of them really feel like friends. I found uni to be the lonliest experience ever. It made me really appreciate my friends back home. I'd never been somewhere where I didn't know anyone and it was so scary. Everyone seems to get into groups really really quickly at uni and I always felt like the outcast as I wasn't in any group really. I often wonder if people were only friends with the people they were friends with for logistical reasons. I mean, everyone around me in Purchas Court seemed to get on really really well and I know for a fact that some of those "friendships" weren't actually friendships at all because people were always *****ing to me about others behind their backs!

No, I never used the counselling service. I had a very bad experience with admin staff in Fresher's Week (I was the only girl in my house and they were so rude to me about it and made me cry. I moved in the end but that was dealt with by me finding someone to swap with, not by accommodation moving me) After that I was far too scared to speak to any admin type of person. I needed to a see a doctor but I refused to go because I was so scared they'd be like the accommodation people. However, 5 sessions might be better than nothing. Actually...thinking about it...I know someone at Kent who went to the dr there and they referred her elsewhere and she's been seeing someone in Canterbury since the 1st week of term. Maybe it's worth a trip to the doctors instead?
Mmm, I kinda see your point. Thinking of my flatmates here, A+ B get on really well were on the same course at the beginning of the year so they spent pretty much all day together (they've got similar personalities as well) and their other friend was what I'd call a true friend - A (girl) met C (also girl) at a party on the first night and immediatly started talking, you know? And the B (guy) fancies C so, there we go But the rest of them - Just through courses and accomodation. I've not met anyone who I care about enough to want to make an effort with.

Don't get me started on the staff around here - Some are ok, some leave you wondering what the hell they're doing in a job that deals with people! The woman over at Parkwood reception especially; she is so rude and nasty. I heard her tell someone over the phone that she 'can't do anything about the lack of heating, put a jumper on because England isn't that cold' :eek: I don't even know if I'd go... Chances are I'd book an appointment and clam up when I got in there. My problems just seem so... trivial.

I do a few societies already, first aid which is not very social because it's basically a lecture, equestrian which is more social but still lacks in the actual get togethers (plus they're nice people, but it's horribley obvious that I don't fit in, they've all got horses back home and I ride once a week) and I've just started Salsa, which is a lot more social but again, I've only just started so I don't really know anyone and they've all been doing it for weeks so they all know each other.

Y'know, since I've been here, apart from my parents on the phone, no-one's asked me how I was... Not properly. Not in a way that implies they actually care.
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Laus
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#5151
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#5151
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
Friends? Aren't they things that other people have? Problem is after the excitement of moving here and after Freshers etc. I got so low down that I just wasn't communicating with anyone - My flatmates even thought I'd gone home for a week a while ago So any chances of friendships have well and truly gone. And because I haven't got anyone to talk to or just be friends with, I get even more depressed and the whole thing starts again. I've got acquaintances; people I see on a night out or on campus and say hi to, but no-one I'd call a real friend. There are a few girls in my German class who are nice and friendly and I talk to a lot, but it's still very much at the beginning of a relationship. I'm meant to be moving in with two of them next year (we're in the process of trying to find a house) but I feel so unenthusiastic about it at the minute I just can't be bothered to try and get to know them better, which isn't good because eventually they'll just say alright then, stuff you missy! I miss having my old familiar friends around, who I didn't have to make an effort with or watch what I was saying to (I am an incredible blunt, tactless person sometimes; I just say what I'm thinking and I don't think before I speak a lot of the time). People who know me. I still talk to them and tbh the majority of the MSN/Facebook messages I get are from them, because I just don't have the will power to get to know anyone here properly, I guess.

Did you use the counselling service? The idea of only having five sessions or whatever and that's it kinda puts me off...
This isn't true. There isn't a time limit, you can make friends next term. I have missed a fair bit of uni this term so I haven't had the opportunity to get to know people properly. Also, I isolated myself when I was at my lowest. But I'm not going to give up. I still plan to make friends when I go back. Yes, it's scary, but it's something I need to do if I want to survive three years at university! So what if you feel unenthusiastic about moving in with these girls. If everything I did was based on how I'd feel, I'd stay in bed all day or I'd cut myself every five minutes. We all have to exercise some restraint. We have to do stuff that doesn't necessarily correspond with how we feel. Don't underestimate people. They aren't going to drop you 'just like that'. Who knows, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship. I know it's hard to get close to anyone - I'm not close to many/any people at uni... but friendship is important, I think. If that's the sort of person you are then that's fine. But don't be shocked if someone doesn't like your attitude - we're all different, we can't help it! Just be yourself. So long as you aren't rude or critical of others, you should be okay. MSN/facebook is better than nothing. It's how I'm keeping in touch with a couple of people from uni.
kiss_me_now9
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#5152
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#5152
I guess I just got so complacent to having friends back at home, that I'd forgotten how to make friends. They don't run courses for that, do they :p:
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vapid slut magician
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#5153
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#5153
lots of us seem to live really near each other, maybe we should have a depsoc meet up...only something that sounds more exciting
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raspberrybubbles
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#5154
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#5154
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
lots of us seem to live really near each other, maybe we should have a depsoc meet up...only something that sounds more exciting
I think at one time we were working on it, then everyone got too much work! Maybe if we all kinda motivate ourselves to get one sorted?!
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vapid slut magician
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#5155
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#5155
well isnt it xmas holiday now for pretty much everyone? maybe the first week in jan?
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raspberrybubbles
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#5156
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#5156
Yeah, perhaps, but examness. Mind you, one day out isn't gonna be that bad I guess...
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*pink_sapphires*
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#5157
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#5157
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
Mmm, I kinda see your point. Thinking of my flatmates here, A+ B get on really well were on the same course at the beginning of the year so they spent pretty much all day together (they've got similar personalities as well) and their other friend was what I'd call a true friend - A (girl) met C (also girl) at a party on the first night and immediatly started talking, you know? And the B (guy) fancies C so, there we go But the rest of them - Just through courses and accomodation. I've not met anyone who I care about enough to want to make an effort with.

Don't get me started on the staff around here - Some are ok, some leave you wondering what the hell they're doing in a job that deals with people! The woman over at Parkwood reception especially; she is so rude and nasty. I heard her tell someone over the phone that she 'can't do anything about the lack of heating, put a jumper on because England isn't that cold' :eek: I don't even know if I'd go... Chances are I'd book an appointment and clam up when I got in there. My problems just seem so... trivial.

I do a few societies already, first aid which is not very social because it's basically a lecture, equestrian which is more social but still lacks in the actual get togethers (plus they're nice people, but it's horribley obvious that I don't fit in, they've all got horses back home and I ride once a week) and I've just started Salsa, which is a lot more social but again, I've only just started so I don't really know anyone and they've all been doing it for weeks so they all know each other.

Y'know, since I've been here, apart from my parents on the phone, no-one's asked me how I was... Not properly. Not in a way that implies they actually care.
Flat scenario seems interesting. I know a couple of people in the flats and they hate it. But I think I'd prefer flats to the houses.

Omg, I was going to go to first aid but i lost my courage and ended up not going to any societies in the end. Wish I had though. And I wish I'd gone to Salsa too. Sounds like we have similar interests

I don't really know what else to say to be honest, except that January brings a new start and a chance for you to get to know people. You can ask them about their holiday and stuff so easy conversation starter. And again, if you want to meet anyone I know from Parkwood, just say. I know a couple of lovely people who I'm sure wouldn't judge you.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#5158
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#5158
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
lots of us seem to live really near each other, maybe we should have a depsoc meet up...only something that sounds more exciting
great idea. i'm up for it. x
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vapid slut magician
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#5159
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#5159
people have exams in january ?

well I doubt itd be like a whole day
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kiss_me_now9
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#5160
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#5160
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
Flat scenario seems interesting. I know a couple of people in the flats and they hate it. But I think I'd prefer flats to the houses.

Omg, I was going to go to first aid but i lost my courage and ended up not going to any societies in the end. Wish I had though. And I wish I'd gone to Salsa too. Sounds like we have similar interests

I don't really know what else to say to be honest, except that January brings a new start and a chance for you to get to know people. You can ask them about their holiday and stuff so easy conversation starter. And again, if you want to meet anyone I know from Parkwood, just say. I know a couple of lovely people who I'm sure wouldn't judge you.
I don't know if I'd go as far as hating it; it's just that my flatmates are very outgoing and cliquey to the extent that they only know a (relatively) few people wheras I prefer to have lots of different friends in different places. Though somethings about them annoy me... I've been trying for the last few weeks to get them to give me a quid or so to buy the cleaner a present for christmas (1 because it's just nice to and 2 because she cleans our grotty kitchen every week!) but 'they get paid to work here' so we don't need to, apparently. :rolleyes:

Salsa is good, it's helping me be more confident, but then uni is as a whole (whilst destroying me completly in the mental health side of things, it has at least given me the ability to talk to guys without blushing or saying something stupid straight away which I never had before) is doing that too. First aid is great - until they go 'DON'T do this, they will DIE!' and the whole lecture theatre goes '****.' :p:

I'm hoping January will be better, the girls that I'm living with next year have the same modules as me (at the minute we just have one hour together a week) so I'll be able to talk to them more and stuff. A new year, a new start.

This still doesn't solve the fact that I desperatly hate my degree and think I would rather drop out and work in McDonalds than do another 3 years in German though, but that's another topic for another day...
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