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How has mental illness affected your life? Watch

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    (Original post by littleshambles)
    Yeah... Which was my point in the first place.

    So I don't understand why you made your post here. Why do you assume anyone in this thread is in the bracket of people whose depression should be ratcheted up to "normal".

    You know what.... Whatever.
    I really hate people who spend their time just looking for an argument.
    You know what? Bite me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    not motivated enough to even get out of bed
    sleep about 14 hours a day
    and even when i am awake its like im sleeping, moping around my house between things but not actually doing anything
    its got the the point where even emptying the dishwasher, getting dressed, brushing teeth, are a massive effort
    when im late for school every day i know i will get into trouble i just dont care
    when i get bad reports, i think "yeah i should do some work", but it never happens or happens excruciatingly slowly, for example, making a 20 minute homework last 3 hours which turns into not doing it at all
    in person im friendly and chatty
    whenever im out with my friends, even if im having an alright time, i just cant wait to be back home by myself
    people dont really interest me unless i want something from them
    Here's something for everybody with mental illness to think about. Think about the person you want to be. Really think hard. Then just work towards being them. For example, if you had OCD you would feel very proud of yourself that you didn't do or think something, and say 'I didn't do it'.
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    (Original post by twist.the.illusion)
    I really hate people who spend their time just looking for an argument.
    You know what? Bite me.
    Right and your reason for posting your original post in a thread that totally wasn't meant for it was what? Comfort and sharing?

    My post was ENDING the argument, not looking for one.

    So maybe you should ****ing bite me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Seriously, how hard is it to get an actual diagnosis?

    I have more than a strong suspicion that I'm manic-depressive, first spoke to my GP around last Octoberish and have seen countless useless people with little (more accurately, NO) outcome at all.

    I wish I could have a proper diagnosis, mainly so that I can say to my parents and such 'look, I am officially not just being an arse' and get some decent help as well.

    I have a key worker who often cancels appointments at the last minute and is pretty much no help at all, which is outrageous, in my opinion.

    Most days it is more than fact that my life sucks. That is mental illness in my rage of the day,
    I've been in contact with mental health services for nearly 4 years and still haven't got a diagnosis so I wouldn't put money on you getting one anytime soon.
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    I brought up the frustrating lack of diagnosis in my CBT on Friday and she's put a note in my file to make the psychiatrist give me on when he sees me next :awesome:

    That's on April Fool's Day though :ninja:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Seriously, how hard is it to get an actual diagnosis?

    I have more than a strong suspicion that I'm manic-depressive, first spoke to my GP around last Octoberish and have seen countless useless people with little (more accurately, NO) outcome at all.

    I wish I could have a proper diagnosis, mainly so that I can say to my parents and such 'look, I am officially not just being an arse' and get some decent help as well.

    I have a key worker who often cancels appointments at the last minute and is pretty much no help at all, which is outrageous, in my opinion.

    Most days it is more than fact that my life sucks. That is mental illness in my rage of the day,
    Sometimes it's not about finding a diagnosis/label for what you're going through, it's about getting better xx
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    (Original post by littleshambles)
    Right and your reason for posting your original post in a thread that totally wasn't meant for it was what? Comfort and sharing?

    My post was ENDING the argument, not looking for one.

    So maybe you should ****ing bite me.
    Oooh, profanity! Now I know you mean business!
    Ever thought of getting yourself a therapist?
    No, all joking aside you seem absolutely incapable of discussion don't you? All you've done is added bits and reworded what I've said throughout my replies. It's annoying and boring. Your whole point about me posting inappropriate things in this thread was completely undermined by your continual roundabout, out of context responses just because you nether understand or agree with what I'm saying is a little bit hypocritical no? You could have left it alone? Or picked a fight with one of the numerous people who've ACTUALLY said "man up".

    Tell you what, seeing as I know how much it'll mean to you, I'll let you have the last word, how's that?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Seriously, how hard is it to get an actual diagnosis?

    I have more than a strong suspicion that I'm manic-depressive, first spoke to my GP around last Octoberish and have seen countless useless people with little (more accurately, NO) outcome at all.

    I wish I could have a proper diagnosis, mainly so that I can say to my parents and such 'look, I am officially not just being an arse' and get some decent help as well.

    I have a key worker who often cancels appointments at the last minute and is pretty much no help at all, which is outrageous, in my opinion.

    Most days it is more than fact that my life sucks. That is mental illness in my rage of the day,
    It took me three years to get a diagnosis but they're still not done with me yet. I'm still being seen for potential other things.
    It is a relief, to sort of say, well I'm like this because I have _______. But on the other side of the coin personally, sometimes knowing that I have _______ makes me feel quite isolated and acutely aware that I'm 'different'.
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    tbh, I don't quite get why it matters to be officially told that you have depression. It really won't change much in your mood, and is just a label.

    I had a few sessions of counselling whilst at school, then my mood never improved and went to a doctor filled out some form of silly questionnaire and was told there and then :/ But it never really changed how I felt.
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    (Original post by thru sun and rain)
    tbh, I don't quite get why it matters to be officially told that you have depression. It really won't change much in your mood, and is just a label.

    I had a few sessions of counselling whilst at school, then my mood never improved and went to a doctor filled out some form of silly questionnaire and was told there and then :/ But it never really changed how I felt.
    For me at least, it's been the need to understand what's going on with me and the ability to convey to others that I'm very ill without giving them my life story. My uni tutor spent a year accusing me of lying about my health and only decided to do a U-turn when I produced a doctor's letter. Then he developed a huge guilt complex about how he should have believed me and acted earlier and could have probably, in part, prevented everything that happened to me in my third year.

    I'm in a psychotic episode at the moment and have a lovely mental health care team but the lack of medical explanation of what's been happening to me has fed into my paranoia and voices and convinced me that my team are out to get me and think that I'm lying. I was finally able to convey this to my psychologist on Friday and having seen how much distress it's causing, she's put a note in my file to make sure I am rediagnosed the next time I see the psychiatrist :yes:
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    (Original post by thru sun and rain)
    tbh, I don't quite get why it matters to be officially told that you have depression. It really won't change much in your mood, and is just a label.

    I had a few sessions of counselling whilst at school, then my mood never improved and went to a doctor filled out some form of silly questionnaire and was told there and then :/ But it never really changed how I felt.
    Yeah. I don't feel like I have depression. I felt pretty annoyed when all the first GP I saw did was show me the screen to fill in a stupid computer test. That's really reassuring, it's not like I can't get that on the internet.

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    For me at least, it's been the need to understand what's going on with me and the ability to convey to others that I'm very ill without giving them my life story. My uni tutor spent a year accusing me of lying about my health and only decided to do a U-turn when I produced a doctor's letter. Then he developed a huge guilt complex about how he should have believed me and acted earlier and could have probably, in part, prevented everything that happened to me in my third year.

    I'm in a psychotic episode at the moment and have a lovely mental health care team but the lack of medical explanation of what's been happening to me has fed into my paranoia and voices and convinced me that my team are out to get me and think that I'm lying. I was finally able to convey this to my psychologist on Friday and having seen how much distress it's causing, she's put a note in my file to make sure I am rediagnosed the next time I see the psychiatrist :yes:
    That sounds difficult. Are you hallucinating at the moment?
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    (Original post by Liquidus Zeromus)
    That sounds difficult. Are you hallucinating at the moment?
    I've spent the last five weeks having all kinds of hallucinations (tactile, auditory and visual). I'm not hallucinating right this second. Or at least I don't think I am :ninja:
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    I haven't seen a doctor in about 2 years regarding my mental health, but I know I really should because I feel like I am going backwards. The thing is the midwives and health visitors should be picking up on this but They barely acknowledge me when I go down for my daughters weigh in. So much for keeping an eye on me for post natal depression. Doesn't really help when I am really having one of those really bad days.
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    So I filled in a referra form to speak with a counsellor and they're getting back to me within 48 hours. Mixed opinions about this because I did it before and they call you and ask a hell of a lot of personal questions and I remember I broke down last time as soon as I hung up because I talked about things that I hadn't told anyone. But despite of all that, I know I really need the help because my self harm is getting more frequent and I don't know what to do anymore. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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    Does anyone else get very random racing thoughts before bed?
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    all the time for some reason ha
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    (Original post by converselove)
    So I filled in a referra form to speak with a counsellor and they're getting back to me within 48 hours. Mixed opinions about this because I did it before and they call you and ask a hell of a lot of personal questions and I remember I broke down last time as soon as I hung up because I talked about things that I hadn't told anyone. But despite of all that, I know I really need the help because my self harm is getting more frequent and I don't know what to do anymore. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
    Talking about these kinda things is always difficult but if it will help you get the support you sound like you need, then it's worth doing :yes:


    (Original post by Liquidus Zeromus)
    Does anyone else get very random racing thoughts before bed?
    Sometimes, yeah. Though I tend to experience them as voices rather than thoughts. Sometimes it's just thoughts I've dissociated from but sometimes it's not :no:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure if it's even appropriate to post here, but I'll give it a go anyway, what's the worst that can happen?

    I'm not even sure what I'm going through can be deemed as a mental illness and I'm not sure where to start. My parents always suffered from a turbulent relationship - lots of shouting and such which I guess at a young age isn't pleasant. But as time went on, I realised that it wasn't just shouting, there was physical abuse too. I witnessed my father hitting my mother with a belt, attempting to push her down the stairs... so many things I couldn't even go on with. Many times my mother packed a bag for the two of us and drove around all night so we wouldn't have to go home. I'd cry for hours and hours but the next day, my father would apologise and I wanted the happy family I saw "everyone else" having and I wanted that too. The police became regular fixtures in my household but I guess I always maintained that I was fine, and so everything ticked on accordingly. I never told anyone at school, as my father had an amazingly squeaky clean image (he was a police officer himself) and I just assumed that anyone I told would think I was lying. All the violence and blood and the tears carried on until I turned 17 and my mother finally had the courage to leave. At the same time, my uncle (on my dad's side) died, and due to me being "on my mother's side", I wasn't allowed to the funeral, and so, I guess, I was never allowed to grieve.

    I managed to keep up with school and work but things were changing in my head. I started going through obsessive phases of panicking about where my mother was even if she was 2 or 3 minutes late from work. I'd always think she'd been in a car accident or she would never come back home for whatever reason. If I saw a car outside our house that I didn't recognise, I'd assume the person inside the car was watching us, and that something really bad would happen to me if I left the house. All these weird overwhelming feelings took over everything I did, and I became suspicious of everyone's motives... mainly irrational looking back on it all now. Feeling out of sync with all of my friends and bursting into tears at crazy times became part and parcel of daily life. Suicidal thoughts would creep in and I'd lie in bed wondering how easy it would be if life just had some sort of switch, and I could flick it to the off position. Naturally, I didn't want my friends to know so I kept going with the happy-go-lucky me that I seemed to be able to act out really well. I'm in my first year of university now and I guess the feelings of losing control are still scaring me. The feelings of loneliness and alienation seem to be growing, I think I may have been to 2 or 3 lectures this year so far and I'm not sure how I've managed to get away with only having one disciplinary meeting so far. Sleeping all day and staying awake all night just thinking seems to be much more appealing even though I want to go and learn. I get scared of myself, thinking that no one will like me or I'll say something stupid. I mean, this itself written down seems really stupid but the thoughts manifest in my brain to a degree where I just don't go in to university, I stay in my own bubble. But this gives my mind time to wander and the amount of times I've considered doing something really stupid to myself is crazy.

    It was really nice to write all of that down and (hopefully) not get judged by anyone. It's a scary time for me right now as I'm away from my support network, and even then I've never really spoken to my mother at length about things as I feel that she may feel some guilt for the situation although of course, nothing was her fault. The knock on effects of whatever I'm experiencing has been massive - crazy mood swings, amazingly low self esteem... to the point where I've never had any sort of relationship as I get scared of letting men in too close and I'd probably get paranoid of their whereabouts. I always suspect everyone's lying to me even when they aren't. Whatever this is is just taking over everything I do and I have no idea what's going on or who to turn to. So... how it's affecting me? I'm not sure because I know at some point previously I was a happy carefree child. But all this has been going on for so long that I don't quite know what to do or who to turn to. Or... what's even wrong with me... It's just frightening.
    Hi. I'm not sure if you'll see this seeing as what you've posted is over a week old, but there's much of your post I can relate to. I've had an undercurrent of issues for a very long time now, in the past year and a half or so my behaviour has changed in a bad way, and it's been flaring up recently. I, like you cry randomly (as I did in an English lesson yesterday, and luckily I managed to pull myself together and lift my head up before anyone could see). I never used to be like this, as I was never one to be emotional. I have also had, and still have anxiety issues - albeit to a lesser extent. It tends to flare up at certain times, as it did a few months ago. I've also low self esteem for a long time too, and it's now getting to the point where it's a major hinderence to my schoolwork. Recently I have been having frightening thoughts too but I'm hoping these feelings won't spiral out of control and turn into action upon them...

    I think it would really benefit you to get to a GP about how you're feeling. You seem like you really need help, especially as you're considering suicide. I rarely open up to anyone and I think that's played a big part in my declining mental health. I know getting help would benefit me but I'm a bit nervous about arranging an appointment and getting there on my own. As far as I know most universities have a surgery so maybe that's something you should really consider. If that seems like too much, maybe try counselling - and I think most universities have some sort of counselling service. I went sometime last year for issues about socialisation, and I told the counsellor rather little about my issues - but I primarily talked about my socialisation issues, and since then I've been better at talking to people, so in that way it certainly helped.
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Talking about these kinda things is always difficult but if it will help you get the support you sound like you need, then it's worth doing :yes:
    Yeah it is and I'm quite awkward as well. For example, I'd much rather people asked me questions and I answered rather than me having to tell my story. Yeah, it's worth doing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've suffered from pretty severe OCD for five years now; it crushed myself confidence and made me a pretty messed up individual.

    Only now am I kind of coming to terms with the fact that I really do need help (taken long enough)..and I'm so tired of having to pretend everything's okay- I daren't moan about it incase I annoy people.

    My parents still don't know but I hate to admit I can't help but feel ashamed and embarassed even though I know I shouldn't.

    Anyway, I'm interested in how people handle it whether it's yourself or someone you know.

    I think that there should be more of an emphasis on recognising mental illnesses because in my experience nobody really talks about them because they're kind of invisible if you get what I mean and my parents have often just labelled me as a 'hormonal' teenager :/
    Admitting to yourself and realising you need help is a major step forward, sounds like you're aware of this though

    I've had OCD for around 10 years now, depression for the last 2 or so. I feel pretty experienced regarding it ha ha ( hey least I havn't lost my humour). I've been through it all; Shrinks from the NHS and currently private now (wasn't a fan of the NHS), meds (still on) suicidal thoughts, hours of rituals, weight loss, self harm, lost my eyebrows, pulled out my hair, bleeding hands (repetitive washing) lost friends, had various and sometimes bizarre reactions from people.

    I currently am facing the depression more so, but I'm seeing a psychiatric nurse who's great and i'm getting accupuncture for my general well being and facing up to the issues. accepting that they are there and I can deal with them has been eye opening. I recognise the temptation to just try ignore it and soldier on. Facing it can really make you a stronger person and I would seriously consider the various options you have of where to go next.

    Tell your parents you may be surprised at how supportive they can be. My mum has been my rock throughout. My dad doesn't understand and my bro not so much either but they still offer support in other ways.

    if ur worried about annoying people, i wouldnt. your real friends will stick around and offer support, the rest...meh you'll find they wernt as good friends as u first reckoned. part of facing up to it is saying right this is not ok and I can't pretend any longer that it is. that's when you have to grit your teeth and face up to what scares you most.

    hope this gives some insight. take care
 
 
 
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