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According to the people on this forum, for a guy to just get an average girl.. Watch

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    The best thing the OP can do in the short term is travel, in particular to SEA.
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    (Original post by Seb_back2back)
    I'm Chinese and I'm heading to the UK (hopefully London) next year for university. It's kinda sad to know i'll face racial discrimination even though I don't speak any Mandarin and hate Asian culture in general.
    I think you will fit in just fine, its the ones that hype up the asian culture that suffer. In halls you would get the chinese flats, they just sit in cooking rice/noodles or whatever it is and set the fire alarm off pissing people off. If your willing to accept british culture and mix in you will be one the lads. Just look at the Big Bang Theory, bunch of guys from different cultural backgrounds, but love the same things - pussy.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    This sounds like a weak/insecure man's mentality. This nonsense about 'power' is the reason why people struggle to have normal healthy relationships nowadays.

    You assume women have power because you assume they want the same thing. Sex.
    If it were just about that than yes I would say us women have the upper hand. We don't need to make that much effort if that's all we wanted; as it is that's not the case. Most women want love above sex. How many women do you think actually get this? This is why men struggle to get sex; because women adopt various strategies and put up walls to stop men getting it. Why? Because you get men using women as **** banks and ruthlessly discarding them after. Every girl's nightmare. In the history of dating I'd argue more women than men have been subject to cheating and abuse (physically/mentally and verbally).This power you think women have does not exist if you look at the long term (post sex where the man has then got what he's wanted).

    No. These women in such scenarios have power even when sex is not considered. Because, the man will most often act/be seen like the inferior one and the social dynamics of those friends etc involved will also reflect that the man is seen as inferior. Imo, it is all about power. The man must not be seen as the materially weaker one in the relationship otherwise it is just humiliating and the woman can start taking liberties.
    Her friends would say things like "Why don't you go for someone better? You deserve better" at the slightest bad thing that happens. Because hey, he is seen as inherently not being as good as her from the start. Happens all the time, I see it.
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    (Original post by Seb_back2back)
    I'm Chinese and I'm heading to the UK (hopefully London) next year for university. It's kinda sad to know i'll face racial discrimination even though I don't speak any Mandarin and hate Asian culture in general.
    Be prepared as London is a pretty cold place with regards to people. I find people there are not as friendly as up north.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    Well that's because your friend doesn't fancy you, doesn't mean she can't see you have good qualities that other women would find attractive.
    yeah obv.

    But what I am saying, I kept her in the friends zone and it paid off.

    Yes you need to be high value but I'm referring more to TSR guys
    TSR guys are a lost cause tbh, they think getting a cushy graduate job after a degree from a top 5 uni is balling it.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    And what about the men who do not have the racist mentality and also face racism even from their own race and other minorities for not being white (or black in some cases because black men are glorified)?
    Many Arab looking men for example would love to date an Arab woman, many of them (both the men and the women) are attractive. But, if their own women are racist towards them how does that look seriously?

    Racism is just that, racism, does not matter what the person has in terms of qualities or looks... it's just a blind discrimination, maybe even a hatred. I think this self-hating racism is worse than any racism of the past in terms of it just being plain humiliating for minorities.
    Well I totally agree with what you're saying in this respect. I think the racism people experience can cause them to reject their own race in attempt to separate themselves from it; they feel they might not be subject to it if they don't seem like 'one of their own'. It's sad because they don't realise that racist people will never look past their appearance so appeasement will get them nowhere.

    Even though I know it's worst for Asian men, I still feel like the majority of people aren't like that. Life's a bit harder and it's not fair but you learn lessons and if anything you can gain thicker skin and become more secure with yourself when you've come up against a lot of rejection.
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    Usually don't like threads like this, but the majority of the OP seems to be true. It is what it is. Play the game or walk away.
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    (Original post by jay2013)
    Be prepared as London is a pretty cold place with regards to people. I find people there are not as friendly as up north.
    Yeah, its life in the fast lane, people don't have time for others. But jay you dont have problems picking up women so to you it doesnt matter,lol.
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    (Original post by SloaneRanger)
    I think you will fit in just fine, its the ones that hype up the asian culture that suffer. In halls you would get the chinese flats, they just sit in cooking rice/noodles or whatever it is and set the fire alarm off pissing people off. If your willing to accept british culture and mix in you will be one the lads. Just look at the Big Bang Theory, bunch of guys from different cultural backgrounds, but love the same things - pussy.
    Great, I'm hoping to mix and hang around with British people and (If I'm lucky) date a girl or two. I'm not fugly don't have slitty eyes so I hope that'll distinguish me from the rest of the Asian guys who can't string a few words together in English without making everyone laugh.
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    (Original post by Seb_back2back)
    Great, I'm hoping to mix and hang around with British people and (If I'm lucky) date a girl or two. I'm not fugly don't have slitty eyes so I hope that'll distinguish me from the rest of the Asian guys who can't string a few words together in English without making everyone laugh.
    You know those chinese types that live for chinatown after lectures at kcl all group together and just clique amongst themselves, don't be like that. Everyones in the same boat they don't know each other, everyone is looking for friends of a "clique" they cant be around for the next few years. Its about accepting the culture change rather than imposing yours. Its the same when i go to places like hungary/romania this girl tries to impose customs and **** food on me and etiquette i just accept it some extent to fit in. Reading your posts you seem a guy people will like and if you can make someone laugh thats a really great character trait to have!
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Yeah, well, depression brings out the worse in people.

    I am sure you studied some psychology as a medic. So as you would know, depressed people generally fall into a negative mindset - so even if you are trying to help them, they will take it as an attack if it contradicts their point of view.

    The only person essentially that can help him snap out of it, is ironically the OP.
    Oh yeah, I'm sympathetic and I can see how it can happen (though not to the extent where going around shooting people seems like a legit strategy). I was pretty bitter and angry before I got my first boyfriend, though in my case I internalised it and decided it was all my fault rather than that of the men who weren't interested. But that doesn't mean I or any other girls are going to want to sit around and take abuse after trying to offer advice. The OP moans about racism, but his sexism is breathtakingly awful.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    No. These women in such scenarios have power even when sex is not considered. Because, the man will most often act/be seen like the inferior one and the social dynamics of those friends etc involved will also reflect that the man is seen as inferior. Imo, it is all about power. The man must not be seen as the materially weaker one in the relationship otherwise it is just humiliating and the woman can start taking liberties.
    Her friends would say things like "Why don't you go for someone better? You deserve better" at the slightest bad thing that happens. Because hey, he is seen as inherently not being as good as her from the start. Happens all the time, I see it.
    Weaker in what way though? I don't understand what you mean by 'materially' weaker.

    I'm not going to lie, this is a line girls say a lot to each other (I for one don't agree with burning a guy at the stake when he does the slightest thing wrong) but then the girl in question never ends up breaking up with him if she's in love with him. The 'but I love him' conundrum can absolve all a man's wrongdoings from forgetting her birthday to beating her silly. This is why women you have women who complain that their boyfriends are jerks but stay by their side. A woman has to be very careful who she falls in love with because love can make her put up with more than she should.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    Well I totally agree with what you're saying in this respect. I think the racism people experience can cause them to reject their own race in attempt to separate themselves from it; they feel they might not be subject to it if they don't seem like 'one of their own'. It's sad because they don't realise that racist people will never look past their appearance so appeasement will get them nowhere.

    Even though I know it's worst for Asian men, I still feel like the majority of people aren't like that. Life's a bit harder and it's not fair but you learn lessons and if anything you can gain thicker skin and become more secure with yourself when you've come up against a lot of rejection.
    It differs with location. For example, if you were a black woman in the USA. Good luck. In fact, any minority apart from black men and Far East Asian women get racially downmarked straight off in the dating game over there. I do well in the UK and in Europe because I have the qualities that help me in dating, I am a quarter German but I identify myself as Chinese ethnically because that is what people see me as.

    Over in the USA? Forget it. If you think it is bad here, try over there. Over here there is the overall lack of that deep seated and nasty racism which dehumanises people even if they have good looking/other qualities. Good looking and minority? "Oh, but he's a minority, she's a minority". It is the same type of **** Asian men (south Asians, Indians etc) face here but considerably worse. At least over here Asian men who are good looking will be put on an equal footing with other good looking men when it comes to dating. But , over in the USA? "He is good looking for an Indian man" "But he is Indian". Make no mistake about it, the UK and the majority of the EU are a paradise compared to the USA. We are lucky.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    yeah obv.

    But what I am saying, I kept her in the friends zone and it paid off.



    TSR guys are a lost cause tbh, they think getting a cushy graduate job after a degree from a top 5 uni is balling it.
    Well good for you. This why I recommend guys not to cut girls off if they get friendzoned, it's really short sighted.
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    Well good for you. This why I recommend guys not to cut girls off if they get friendzoned, it's really short sighted.
    All human beings can be controlled and manipulated by simple psychological techniques, a smart person doesn't get friendzoned! So they should put themselves in the situation in the first place.
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    (Original post by SloaneRanger)
    Yeah, its life in the fast lane, people don't have time for others. But jay you dont have problems picking up women so to you it doesnt matter,lol.
    I have had my most success in London tbh.

    But I think it helps a lot that I am a Londoner. I find a lot of women, especially ones that come from Europe get attracted to that. They all give me the nickname 'londoner'
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    (Original post by Nomes89)
    Well good for you. This why I recommend guys not to cut girls off if they get friendzoned, it's really short sighted.
    Depends.

    I will cut off girls if I feel they have strung me along badly. Or if I really really fancied them for the sake of mental health.

    That girl who rejected me, I was trying my luck with her to be honest, no big deal.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    It differs with location. For example, if you were a black woman in the USA. Good luck. In fact, any minority apart from black men and Far East Asian women get racially downmarked straight off in the dating game over there. I do well in the UK and in Europe because I have the qualities that help me in dating, I am a quarter German but I identify myself as Chinese ethnically because that is what people see me as.

    Over in the USA? Forget it. If you think it is bad here, try over there. Over here there is the overall lack of that deep seated and nasty racism which dehumanises people even if they have good looking/other qualities. Good looking and minority? "Oh, but he's a minority, she's a minority". It is the same type of **** Asian men (south Asians, Indians etc) face here but considerably worse. At least over here Asian men who are good looking will be put on an equal footing with other good looking men when it comes to dating. But , over in the USA? "He is good looking for an Indian man" "But he is Indian". Make no mistake about it, the UK and the majority of the EU are a paradise compared to the USA. We are lucky.
    Well I haven't been to the USA since being a kid. Maybe that's the case, it does seem like they are more backward in that respect.

    As a black woman, I actually don't have any problem contrary to what people who lurk on these forums try to assert. Having said that though, whatever prejudices there are here in Britain don't seem to exist in Europe and if anything I think I get more attention abroad because I'm black.

    Just be thankful you don't have to live in the USA, eh?
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    (Original post by Helenia)
    Oh yeah, I'm sympathetic and I can see how it can happen (though not to the extent where going around shooting people seems like a legit strategy). I was pretty bitter and angry before I got my first boyfriend, though in my case I internalised it and decided it was all my fault rather than that of the men who weren't interested. But that doesn't mean I or any other girls are going to want to sit around and take abuse after trying to offer advice. The OP moans about racism, but his sexism is breathtakingly awful.
    Why did you struggle to get guys?
    Did you try back then?
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    (Original post by SloaneRanger)
    All human beings can be controlled and manipulated by simple psychological techniques, a smart person doesn't get friendzoned! So they should put themselves in the situation in the first place.
    Dunno, if I really wasn't attracted to a guy there's no way he could convince me otherwise. Depends how bad is bad in the looks department.
 
 
 
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