Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Whilst it is difficult to empathise with people, seeing as we've not experienced the same thing yet, it doesn't mean we can't try.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BonnyBon)
    Oh look, the we-have-offers gang are all crowding around this thread now ...

    Please, this is a rejections thread.
    How do you know I have an offer :hmmm:
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BonnyBon)
    Yea, you can 'empathise' with her at the moment because you have an offer and are basically guarenteed a place in medical school. I never saw you offering condolences before you had an offer. Think of the anxiety going through her at the moment, you havn't been rejected yet, so I don't see how you can 'empathise' with her.

    It just annoys me when people are being nice because they themselves are happy, when normally they wouldn't really care. Let this be a thread for people who get rejections discuss. You are just going to make people feel worse by coming here on your moral pedestal. You remind me of the people who, when they get 11A* at GCSE, going around and asking how everyone else did and supporting those who didn't do well. You are just trying to spread your achievements and boast about them to as many people as possible.

    Not that you will care what I say anyway, that's just my opinion . Have fun at medical school, although I dislike the way you have conducted yourself in this thread I admit that you will probably do very well for yourself .
    How utterly presumptious of you! (wow, that kinda has a ring to it. :laugh:)

    Back on topic, how do you know scary-whatver-the hell her name is wouldn't have offered condolences if she didn't have an offer!

    She doesn't even have her offers in her sig!

    (Original post by BonnyBon)
    Oh look, the we-have-offers gang are all crowding around this thread now ...

    Please, this is a rejections thread. People are frustrated, sad and worried - the last thing they want to read is the comments of those who will most likely be going to medical school next year ...

    I am not trying to insult you, but it is common sense.
    I think I know what angle you're coming from. But the people offering their condolences don't even have their offers in their sig! Now if they did and were parading it around this thread, then that'd be a whole other story.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Toiletpaper8)
    How do you know I have an offer :hmmm:
    I assumed that all the people with offers would come out to condemn me, I checked your profile and lo and behold, an offer.

    (Original post by Baki)
    How utterly presumptious of you! (wow, that kinda has a ring to it. )

    Back on topic, how do you know scary-whatver-the hell her name is wouldn't have offered condolences if she didn't have an offer!

    She doesn't even have her offers in her sig!
    I know because many people were rejected (I have been following the rejections thread since it was made :rolleyes:) and I don't see her caring before she had the offer.

    And she does have them in her sig.

    All I am asking is that people have a bit of tact .. I KNOW your intentions are good, I KNOW you are good people but when people feel like you feel when you have been rejected being comforted by people with offers can actually do more harm than good.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BonnyBon)
    I assumed that all the people with offers would come out to condemn me, I checked your profile and lo and behold, an offer.



    I know because many people were rejected (I have been following the rejections thread since it was made :rolleyes:) and I don't see her caring before she had the offer.

    And she does have them in her sig.

    All I am asking is that people have a bit of tact .. I KNOW your intentions are good, I KNOW you are good people but when people feel like you feel when you have been rejected being comforted by people with offers can actually do more harm than good.
    Ahh...I get what you're saying then.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BonnyBon)
    I assumed that all the people with offers would come out to condemn me, I checked your profile and lo and behold, an offer.
    I don't go around making people feel bad, and when did I ever "condemn" you? :rolleyes:

    It's for that very reason that I don't make some massive TSR thread celebrating the fact that I have an offer, because some people won't be so lucky... And for that same reason, I don't stick all my grades and stuff in my sig.

    I'm sure people on this thread appreciate some support and just want people to listen to them and to understand and relate to the situation they're in.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    This is what the med application rollercoaster does to you :head-in-hands:.

    This will go around in circles and nobody will feel better.
    So let's just accept our individual circumstances, and you can choose not to accept or acknowledge the advice, sympathy, or condolences given to you by people depending on their own circumstances.

    Personally, it makes me feel a whole lot better when someone reminds me that it's not the end of the world because the feelings of being rejected are horrible.
    Even a message of "don't worry" is fine, for me - it may not be for you, depending on who is giving it....
    The idea that you must have experienced someone's situation in order for your sympathy to be worthy of anything, or not have an ulterior motive, is very flawed.
    You'll probably have to deal with trying to comfort the family of a patient who dies in part because your NHS trust can't afford a specific cancer treatment or something.
    You will say "I'm sorry" and so on, and they will get mad at you because "you have no idea what it feels like, so how can you be sorry???" - you can understand why they are upset, and you will probably feel a great deal of sympathy for them without having to experience their situation.
    Empathy for others without experience is just a human trait, doesn't really need explaining. To lack this is to be a pretty cold-hearted doc imo, and nobody wants that.

    You CAN choose not to acknowledge them or to berate them. But it makes nobody feel any better, and it doesn't change anyone's situation.

    It's no reason to start an argument in what is supposed to be a supportive thread.

    Anywho. I'm off to wallow in some misery and revise. I'll spring back to normal tomorrow but also expect a BSMS letter to ruin it for a little while, again.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Toiletpaper8)
    I don't go around making people feel bad, and when did I ever "condemn" you? :rolleyes:

    It's for that very reason that I don't make some massive TSR thread celebrating the fact that I have an offer, because some people won't be so lucky... And for that same reason, I don't stick all my grades and stuff in my sig.

    I'm sure people on this thread appreciate some support and just want people to listen to them and to understand and relate to the situation they're in.
    That's what we're saying.

    You can't relate!
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Toiletpaper8)
    I don't go around making people feel bad, and when did I ever "condemn" you? :rolleyes:

    It's for that very reason that I don't make some massive TSR thread celebrating the fact that I have an offer, because some people won't be so lucky... And for that same reason, I don't stick all my grades and stuff in my sig.

    I'm sure people on this thread appreciate some support and just want people to listen to them and to understand and relate to the situation they're in.
    So yeah...I'll grab his legs...(Lycnh the offer transgressor)

    :laugh:
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Becreate)
    That's what we're saying.

    You can't relate!
    So why post in here then?? What is the point of this thread??

    (and fair enough, I'll leave this thread if it's making you feel worse) :hugs:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Toiletpaper8)
    I don't go around making people feel bad, and when did I ever "condemn" you? :rolleyes:

    It's for that very reason that I don't make some massive TSR thread celebrating the fact that I have an offer, because some people won't be so lucky... And for that same reason, I don't stick all my grades and stuff in my sig.

    I'm sure people on this thread appreciate some support and just want people to listen to them and to understand and relate to the situation they're in.
    But THAT'S the problem. The poster in question cannot relate to the situation the people in this thread are in ....

    Anyway, my problem isn't with you, the comment I made earlier about you was more of an immature thing in the heat of the moment.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    BonnyBon and Becreate, you do realise that you're both not helping at all? Why are you being so bitter? You haven’t made observations at all – you’re just being resentful to those who hold offers for Medicine, which is pretty immature and embarrassing to be honest. There’s nothing wrong with them showing their support and advice during times like this – it’s admirable because they don’t have to do that at all. The fact that they lurk and post in this thread itself shows that they do care.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    ^ Mena is totally right.
    I should also add that I (and all the other rejectees) didn't get any supportive posts from either of you two, only misdirected anger at those who were being supportive.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BonnyBon)
    Oh look, the we-have-offers gang are all crowding around this thread now ...

    Please, this is a rejections thread. People are frustrated, sad and worried - the last thing they want to read is the comments of those who will most likely be going to medical school next year ...

    I am not trying to insult you, but it is common sense.

    SHUT THE **** UP!

    I have had enough of your whining!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by annarchy)
    ^ Mena is totally right.
    I should also add that I (and all the other rejectees) didn't get any supportive posts from either of you two, only misdirected anger at those who were being supportive.
    That is totaly irrelevent to the argument in question ..
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BonnyBon)
    That is totaly irrelevent to the argument in question ..
    It's a point that makes your own motives look even more questionable though. (And thus invalidates your argument).
    You think they're being nice to us because they want to "boast about their offers" -
    I think you're being harsh to them because you want to feel better about having no offers.

    It's not going to change your situation, so you may as well just give it up.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by annarchy)
    It's a point that makes your own motives look even more questionable though. (And thus invalidates your argument).
    You think they're being nice to us because they want to "boast about their offers" -
    I think you're being harsh to them because you want to feel better about having no offers.

    It's not going to change your situation, so you may as well just give it up.
    Lol well said Annarchy ... the whole argument seems quite ridiculous....empathy is one of the core values required to be a doctor....being able to relate to others without necessarily having been in the situation yourself

    Anyway good luck to everyone =]

    :goodluck:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by YoSuis)
    the whole argument seems quite ridiculous....empathy is one of the core values required to be a doctor....being able to relate to others without necessarily having been in the situation yourself
    I know false empathy when I see it...

    An unconditional, an interview and two more responses to come .. how I wish I was in your position.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BonnyBon)
    I know false empathy when I see it...

    An unconditional, an interview and two more responses to come .. how I wish I was in your position.
    Sounds like envy here.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BonnyBon)
    Yea, you can 'empathise' with her at the moment because you have an offer and are basically guarenteed a place in medical school. I never saw you offering condolences before you had an offer. Think of the anxiety going through her at the moment, you havn't been rejected yet, so I don't see how you can 'empathise' with her.

    It just annoys me when people are being nice because they themselves are happy, when normally they wouldn't really care. Let this be a thread for people who get rejections discuss. You are just going to make people feel worse by coming here on your moral pedestal. You remind me of the people who, when they get 11A* at GCSE, going around and asking how everyone else did and supporting those who didn't do well. You are just trying to spread your achievements and boast about them to as many people as possible.

    Not that you will care what I say anyway, that's just my opinion . Have fun at medical school, although I dislike the way you have conducted yourself in this thread I admit that you will probably do very well for yourself .
    (Original post by BonnyBon)
    I know false empathy when I see it...

    An unconditional, an interview and two more responses to come .. how I wish I was in your position.
    If you want to judge my empathy as false condolenses, then so be it. If you want to have that view of me in your head, then so be it. You can think what you want, after all I know who I am and what my intentions are, and that is enough for me.

    Can I also just point out that before I had an offer 1) There were hardly any rejections anyway and 2) I didn't even know this thread existed. Before you start launching an attack on me, you might want to have a look at my past posts. I have tried (and will continue to try) to be as supportive as possible to other potential med applicants in every step of the process. Whether I have personally succeeded or not does not change me caring about other people and wanting to share their ups and downs.

    You are just sounding really bitter at the moment, and I pity you for having such a cynical view of the world. I also suggest you reevaluate what you think "empathy" means.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
Updated: March 5, 2010

University open days

  • University of East Anglia
    All Departments Open 13:00-17:00. Find out more about our diverse range of subject areas and career progression in the Arts & Humanities, Social Sciences, Medicine & Health Sciences, and the Sciences. Postgraduate
    Wed, 30 Jan '19
  • Solent University
    Careers in maritime Undergraduate
    Sat, 2 Feb '19
  • Sheffield Hallam University
    City and Collegiate Campus Undergraduate
    Sun, 3 Feb '19
Poll
The new Gillette ad. Is it:

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.