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    My sports team is holding an end of season party this weekend. I really want to go but I know my anxiety is going to get in the way and I know I'm going to be reduced to a crying mess right before I'd need to leave (again :sigh: ). I have to fill out their google survey about whether I'm attending (so they have numbers for food etc) and I'm already starting to feel paralyzed by fear with just the thought of selecting "yes". I really wish I could resolve my anxiety problem. One of the main things I've wanted to improve on most over the past few years is making friends, how will I ever do so if I'm too much of a loser to socialize? :cry2:

    To make matters worse, a lot of the team is underage so there will be no alcohol.
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    (Original post by Valvopus)
    No, I don't bother being nice to people who don't deserve it. Can PM me about whatever it is if you want?
    PM'd you
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    I hope my flatmate doesn't hear that I'm crying I just want to go back to not crying at least once a day
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    really hatemy birthday.
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    keep alternating between crying and feeling so anxious it feels like my stomach is gonna escape through my mouth and there's nothing anyone can do


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    (Original post by Odd socks)
    keep alternating between crying and feeling so anxious it feels like my stomach is gonna escape through my mouth and there's nothing anyone can do


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    http://www.robot-hugs.com/for-science/
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    :lovehug:
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    I absolutely despise myself and nothing makes it better. I can get temporary relief through getting drunk and sometimes other things like music etc but the self hatred always comes back to ruin my day and on an average day will just be constantly there in the back of my mind. I hate myself for being lazy, fat, ugly, scared for no reason, scarred, avoiding others, being generally annoying. the list goes on. I always thought it was valid and now I have my first boyf and he tells me i'm great and it doesn't make me happy because I feel like he's lying to me but why would he bother with me if he did hate me, so why do I hate me?
    I feel like it's just a teen thing but it's affecting my daily life. i'm overeating and undersleeping and self harming
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    My sports team is holding an end of season party this weekend. I really want to go but I know my anxiety is going to get in the way and I know I'm going to be reduced to a crying mess right before I'd need to leave (again :sigh: ). I have to fill out their google survey about whether I'm attending (so they have numbers for food etc) and I'm already starting to feel paralyzed by fear with just the thought of selecting "yes". I really wish I could resolve my anxiety problem. One of the main things I've wanted to improve on most over the past few years is making friends, how will I ever do so if I'm too much of a loser to socialize? :cry2:

    To make matters worse, a lot of the team is underage so there will be no alcohol.
    I'm pretty useless at giving advice about social situations so I'm gonna give you a hug and tell you that regardless of anything you're not a loser! :jumphug:
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    My RL best friend has decided to call the other voice in my head "the b*tch". I suppose it works.
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    i am useless piece of ****
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    i am useless piece of ****
    You are most definitely not Scary!
    :hugs:
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    (Original post by senz72)
    You are most definitely not Scary!
    :hugs:
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    I am. lazy and vile. haven't started revision. got just over 2 weeks until exams. don't know why im so ****ing incapable. loathe myself
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    Just back from seeing my GP. My plan was to just tell her about my panic attacks getting worse but I ended up confessing how I've really felt lately and she diagnosed me with depression. I wasn't shocked tbh. I had it a few years ago and could feel it coming back again. Feel quite deflated over it all. Haven't told my partner and family yet. They think I just mentioned the panic attacks. I'll tell them later after the counsellor.

    I'm getting referred back for CBT/self help but in the mean time I'll still keep seeing my counsellor though tbh, its made no difference so far but I've only had 5 sessions. Typical me though expecting instant results. I have my counsellor appointment at 2pm. We are trying hypnotherapy for the first time today.
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    I am. lazy and vile. haven't started revision. got just over 2 weeks until exams. don't know why im so ****ing incapable. loathe myself
    Revising itself is pretty difficult. But with all these problems that we have, it makes it twice as hard. I haven't started either though I'm pretty much resigned to failing.
    You're going through a tough time Scary but we see you as a super-duper person. You really are!

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    I'm just done. That's it. **** everything. I'm so sick of feeling this way, useless, worthless and ****. Counselling hasn't helped, CBT won't help, and these next antidepressants won't do anything. I'm done. So done.
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    (Original post by CescaD96)
    I'm just done. That's it. **** everything. I'm so sick of feeling this way, useless, worthless and ****. Counselling hasn't helped, CBT won't help, and these next antidepressants won't do anything. I'm done. So done.
    :hugs: I'm so sorry that you're going through all this.
    Wish I could say something useful. This is how I'm feeling myself and it's horrific.
    Well done for trying!

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    (Original post by senz72)
    Revising itself is pretty difficult. But with all these problems that we have, it makes it twice as hard. I haven't started either though I'm pretty much resigned to failing.
    You're going through a tough time Scary but we see you as a super-duper person. You really are!

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    I just give up. going nowhere. pointless
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    (Original post by senz72)
    :hugs: I'm so sorry that you're going through all this.
    Wish I could say something useful. This is how I'm feeling myself and it's horrific.
    Well done for trying!

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    I'm just over it all. It's all a waste of time. Bloody hell that counselling session I had was horrendous. Such a pointless waste of time. Everything is a waste of time.
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    I feel like 5 years of improving how I deal with anxiety and managing not to be scared is going down the drain it's back and I can't stop it


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