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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    I think I'm definitely hitting the pgce wall of self doubt and worry. I wake up thinking of lessons to do because I'm so worried that pupils will hate me and my classes

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    Totally agree, think i have cried at some point every day this week, just feeling so overwhelmed and useless. The Nqt in my dept is lovely and keeps telling me to stop dwelling on the screw up lessons and focus on the good lessons ive done but at the moment i just dont know how i can face the nqt year in september!
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    (Original post by gemmam)
    I hope she still doesn't make me go to that meeting. Its with her and another tutor and I have a feeling its going to be an ambush (as the same happened to another student after she made a complaint about the course) and I don't feel mentally strong enough for that atm. I'm more worried about whats going to happen in regards to finding a job more than anything tbh but I feel liberated now.

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    You've been signed off. You can tell them where to go.

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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    You've been signed off. You can tell them where to go.

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    True. I guess if I've been signed off I'm not really suppose to go in anyway due to insurance reasons. I realise there's probably going to be forms for me to complete but I'd rather do that via post or the admin staff rather than deal with them. I was worried about what would happen to my student fiance and bursary but I've discovered that I'd only have to pay back part of my maintenance grant straight away (although apparently if leave due to illness this isn't the case) and keep the bursary I have been paid.

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    Does anyone have another trainee at their school in their department? We have eight trainees at my school, but we are all in different subjects, however my subject mentor told me we are getting someone else in my subject. I don't know how common it is, but it has annoyed me. My mentor only has two frees a week and I struggle to catch her for feedback as it is, without having another trainee to balance that with. I also feel that it will make things competitive.
    (Original post by gemmam)
    True. I guess if I've been signed off I'm not really suppose to go in anyway due to insurance reasons. I realise there's probably going to be forms for me to complete but I'd rather do that via post or the admin staff rather than deal with them. I was worried about what would happen to my student fiance and bursary but I've discovered that I'd only have to pay back part of my maintenance grant straight away (although apparently if leave due to illness this isn't the case) and keep the bursary I have been paid.

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    If you've been signed off you can't go in, so they have no right to require you to, and they should know that. Don't worry, just relax now - you've been signed off, and you have a nice amount of time to do some thinking about what you want to do come September. Sorry that you've been messed around so much, I really feel for you. I hope that you have a better experience if you choose to start afresh!
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    (Original post by gemmam)
    I went to my GP yesterday and he has diagnosed me with anxiety and depression, which he believes may have been triggered by the messing around I have had from this course (I have had episodes of this in the past although I've been fine up until a couple of months ago). He has signed me off for a month and has told me he can give me another note in a months time if I feel I need it. I was meant to be going in today for a meeting with my personal tutor to "discuss options" however I've just sent her an email telling her that I wish to suspended my studies on medical grounds. I'm going to have a think about whether or not I'm going to re-start it somewhere else in September or not; I think my experience has put me off! I'm going to stay at my boyfriend's place for a few days as I really need to get away for a bit!

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    I'm sorry to hear this but can't help feeling it may be for the best in the long run. After a long time of not knowing what to do next, it may be quite a relief to have matters taken out of your hands by someone else, just to give you time to get your breath back. This will give you time to think clearly without being in the middle of the very situation that is making you ill.
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    (Original post by Carnationlilyrose)
    I'm sorry to hear this but can't help feeling it may be for the best in the long run. After a long time of not knowing what to do next, it may be quite a relief to have matters taken out of your hands by someone else, just to give you time to get your breath back. This will give you time to think clearly without being in the middle of the very situation that is making you ill.
    Yeah I also think its maybe for the best; I really annoyed its due to their mistake though.
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    (Original post by gemmam)
    Yeah I also think its maybe for the best; I really annoyed its due to their mistake though.
    I don't think anyone can blame you for that.
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    (Original post by Airfairy)
    Does anyone have another trainee at their school in their department? We have eight trainees at my school, but we are all in different subjects, however my subject mentor told me we are getting someone else in my subject. I don't know how common it is, but it has annoyed me. My mentor only has two frees a week and I struggle to catch her for feedback as it is, without having another trainee to balance that with. I also feel that it will make things competitive.


    If you've been signed off you can't go in, so they have no right to require you to, and they should know that. Don't worry, just relax now - you've been signed off, and you have a nice amount of time to do some thinking about what you want to do come September. Sorry that you've been messed around so much, I really feel for you. I hope that you have a better experience if you choose to start afresh!
    I had another trainee and it was brilliant to have him for support and we bounced ideas off each other and suggested interesting things to be getting on with but then he left and I was quite heartbroken.

    I was told yesterday that I'm getting a new lady trainee and now I'm like a child waiting for her baby sister to be born. It means I have to share my office again but ill take less space for somebody in the same position as me any day.

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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    I had another trainee and it was brilliant to have him for support and we bounced ideas off each other and suggested interesting things to be getting on with but then he left and I was quite heartbroken.

    I was told yesterday that I'm getting a new lady trainee and now I'm like a child waiting for her baby sister to be born. It means I have to share my office again but ill take less space for somebody in the same position as me any day.

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    You have an office???:eek:
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    (Original post by Carnationlilyrose)
    You have an office???:eek:
    It's not a big office but it's mine :yep: The departmental office is a bit too small to squeeze somebody else into so they cleared out an empty office and put me in there. I still wander out at breaks but it's nice to have my own little bit of space to process stuff in.
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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    It's not a big office but it's mine :yep: The departmental office is a bit too small to squeeze somebody else into so they cleared out an empty office and put me in there. I still wander out at breaks but it's nice to have my own little bit of space to process stuff in.
    In 30 years, I have never had my own office!
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    (Original post by Carnationlilyrose)
    In 30 years, I have never had my own office!
    I've heard that from a lot of people... I'll have to work on not becoming too attached.
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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    I've heard that from a lot of people... I'll have to work on not becoming too attached.
    Indeed - you are being spoiled!
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    (Original post by Carnationlilyrose)
    Indeed - you are being spoiled!
    It definitely make up for last placement. I didn't have anywhere to work at all while I was there.
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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    It definitely make up for last placement. I didn't have anywhere to work at all while I was there.
    Make the most of it. You will have to fight like a cornered tiger to get one in your real job.
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    (Original post by Airfairy)
    Does anyone have another trainee at their school in their department? We have eight trainees at my school, but we are all in different subjects, however my subject mentor told me we are getting someone else in my subject. I don't know how common it is, but it has annoyed me. My mentor only has two frees a week and I struggle to catch her for feedback as it is, without having another trainee to balance that with. I also feel that it will make things competitive.
    Don't you have 2 trainees from your University at the same school. We were always put in pairs. We each had our own mentor but at the same school in the same department. Usually we actually got observed by the the oher mentor as well as we took a comination of all the teacher's classes.... I am of course talking about Secondary School.
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    (Original post by Sportycb)
    Don't you have 2 trainees from your University at the same school. We were always put in pairs. We each had our own mentor but at the same school in the same department. Usually we actually got observed by the the oher mentor as well as we took a comination of all the teacher's classes.... I am of course talking about Secondary School.
    There were two of us but in different departments


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    (Original post by gemmam)
    Yeah I also think its maybe for the best; I really annoyed its due to their mistake though.
    I second everyone else. Just say you can't go, they can't make you. There is nothing they can do to harm you more!

    Also, do whatever you need to to make yourself feel better. This might be going away, going to local events, seeing friends, going for a walk on the beach... Don't feel guilty for living your life and making yourself happy. If you had lost your voice or got a cold people would tell you to take medicine. With this kind of anxiety making yourself happy and relaxed is your medicine and it doesn't invalidate the fact you aren't up to going on to placement etc.

    (Original post by Airfairy)
    Does anyone have another trainee at their school in their department? We have eight trainees at my school, but we are all in different subjects, however my subject mentor told me we are getting someone else in my subject. I don't know how common it is, but it has annoyed me. My mentor only has two frees a week and I struggle to catch her for feedback as it is, without having another trainee to balance that with. I also feel that it will make things competitive.


    If you've been signed off you can't go in, so they have no right to require you to, and they should know that. Don't worry, just relax now - you've been signed off, and you have a nice amount of time to do some thinking about what you want to do come September. Sorry that you've been messed around so much, I really feel for you. I hope that you have a better experience if you choose to start afresh!
    On my pgce the first placement is paired (primary, we have the same class) and for the second one I had another trainee in the same year group. It was actually really nice to share ideas and experiences, although on the second one we had different classes/mentors which allowed time still.

    Xxx

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    (Original post by kpwxx)
    On my pgce the first placement is paired (primary, we have the same class) and for the second one I had another trainee in the same year group. It was actually really nice to share ideas and experiences, although on the second one we had different classes/mentors which allowed time still.

    Xxx

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    I married my fellow trainee.
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    (Original post by kpwxx)
    I second everyone else. Just say you can't go, they can't make you. There is nothing they can do to harm you more!

    Also, do whatever you need to to make yourself feel better. This might be going away, going to local events, seeing friends, going for a walk on the beach... Don't feel guilty for living your life and making yourself happy. If you had lost your voice or got a cold people would tell you to take medicine. With this kind of anxiety making yourself happy and relaxed is your medicine and it doesn't invalidate the fact you aren't up to going on to placement etc.



    On my pgce the first placement is paired (primary, we have the same class) and for the second one I had another trainee in the same year group. It was actually really nice to share ideas and experiences, although on the second one we had different classes/mentors which allowed time still.

    Xxx

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    She never asked me to go in in the end; she just emailed me a suspension form to complete. As I said earlier I'm going to my boyfriend's for a few days (he lives a couple of hours away from me and we weren't suppose to be meeting this weekend but he said I could if I wanted to). I've also made an appointment to see the careers advisor at my undergrad university and booked myself a place on a free one day course at a local women's centre I saw advertised in a couple of weeks. I've also still got my bus pas paid up until Easter so might use it to visit a few places I've been meaning to visit but never had the time to.
 
 
 
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