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    (Original post by whitepearlbaby)
    One month until I'm flying to England and doing my 3rd year. Oh god. Every time I think about it, I feel like I'm having a heart attack. Scared as hell.
    :hugs: It's understandable to be nervous but I am sure when you get here and have settled in you will enjoy yourself
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    (Original post by Idle)
    :hugs: It's understandable to be nervous but I am sure when you get here and have settled in you will enjoy yourself
    OMG hi :hugs:
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    (Original post by whitepearlbaby)
    OMG hi :hugs:
    Long time no speak

    How is everything? Are you ever on Skype these days? :holmes:
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    Currently in the car going to where I'll be staying for a while. So which means I won't be on here anymore or I'll not be on as much depending if they let me keep my phone or not :/. A few people on here know where it is I'm going but I'm not gonna say publicly.. Personal reasons and all. Never been so scared in my life before.

    But just wanted to say a big thanks to those who've helped me and you guys are all awesome! This thread has become my wee little family and I'll never forget you guys! Take care guys, stay safe x


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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Currently in the car going to where I'll be staying for a while. So which means I won't be on here anymore or I'll not be on as much depending if they let me keep my phone or not :/. A few people on here know where it is I'm going but I'm not gonna say publicly.. Personal reasons and all. Never been so scared in my life before.

    But just wanted to say a big thanks to those who've helped me and you guys are all awesome! This thread has become my wee little family and I'll never forget you guys! Take care guys, stay safe x


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    Everything will be ok hun, i wish you the best of luck :penguinhug:


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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Currently in the car going to where I'll be staying for a while. So which means I won't be on here anymore or I'll not be on as much depending if they let me keep my phone or not :/. A few people on here know where it is I'm going but I'm not gonna say publicly.. Personal reasons and all. Never been so scared in my life before.

    But just wanted to say a big thanks to those who've helped me and you guys are all awesome! This thread has become my wee little family and I'll never forget you guys! Take care guys, stay safe x


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    All the best to you - I really hope everything goes well for you and your recovery. You know where we are. :hugs:

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    So after chatting with someone from here last night, I wrote down a list to actually take to my dr to be completely honest with her, and it's terrifying how Iv not been honest at all so far the list is ridiculous and I don't like it at all


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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    So after chatting with someone from here last night, I wrote down a list to actually take to my dr to be completely honest with her, and it's terrifying how Iv not been honest at all so far the list is ridiculous and I don't like it at all


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    Well done for making the list, I know it can't of been easy :hugs: Hopefully with the list, your doctor will be able to help you better.
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Had CBT. Didn't talk about Bad Plans. Did talk about other stuff.

    Last therapy session I had a flashback which kept going and I was unable to move cos flashback and it lasted about 20-30 mins after the end of my session, so the next patient had to wait 10 mins or so past when their appt was meant to start. She said that's obviously not good for the other person or the practice, which I agree with, but aside from stopping therapy I really don't know what to do. She wasn't trying to guilt me or anything, was more like trying to make a plan to stop it happening again, which makes total sense.. except, I don't think there is a way. If I go then that possibility is always open, so should I just not go? I don't know.

    Talked about family stuff which she said was helpful for her to know. Is so confusing when she talks about it being threatening/abusive though cos it's my family. It's totally fair for her to encourage me to get away from danger, but I feel like I deserve all of the bad things so it feels wrong.

    My therapist is like, awesome. But I feel in a position of really not knowing what to do because I don't want to damage her work for her and I just can't guarantee that a flashback will never overrun a session. But she's the only one who has been remotely helpful and if I stop therapy I am unlikely to survive for much more than a few weeks, because removing my only hope of recovery means I have nothing to live for, and removing my time in a safe place means I have nowhere safe. And I sort of want to die but still quite a lot don't/am scared.

    Bleh.

    On the train to Nut.'s now. Staying until Sunday so should be able to get some headspace. But given that I've just sobbed for an hour I feel ****ing guilty for inflicting myself on her. So confused.
    Well done for telling her some stuff at least. Maybe write down Bad Stuff? It's often easier to hand a bit of paper over rather than tell people something directly...

    Definitely don't feel at all bad about having had a flashback and your appointment overrunning! Ultimately, you can't control them and part of why you're in therapy is to try and manage the PTSD and I assume get to the position of not having flashbacks/at least not having them as much. I get what you/she means about it being bad for the next patient/the practice, but like TLG says, I'm not sure it's beneficial to anyone for you to be told that. Ultimately, appointments always run late, you might have someone hang around a bit, but I don't think it's really a long-term issue for anyone to be honest. NHS appointments regularly run/start late, and it's not really a big deal, just can be a bit of an inconvenience, and I think a lot of people, myself included, would prefer things to be running a bit late and to have the care they (and others need), rather than things being rushed or whatever. Obviously it's a bit different in a private practice in terms of appointments are being paid for, but the principle behind appointments running late is the same.

    You should definitely not stop going to therapy... As I said before, part of your therapy is about dealing with what happened and managing it, and you and her both knew that was going to take time... I'm not sure that you can suddenly create a plan to stop having flashbacks/have them timed better, it's a gradual thing. Like another poster suggested, maybe see if you can be given the last appointment slot in the day? You've said yourself therapy is helpful and that you're safe there, so again, you should keep going. No you can't control your flashbacks at the moment, but in time, CBT is about developing those skills to lessen them and maybe control what happens a bit more.

    You don't deserve anything bad to happen to you! You're a lovely person whose been in a ****ty situation. :jumphug:

    I really hope you have a good time with Nut.. You're definitely not inflicting yourself on her, you're good friends, and she wants to spend time with you. You know where I am if you want to talk.
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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Well done for making the list, I know it can't of been easy :hugs: Hopefully with the list, your doctor will be able to help you better.
    So far there's about 11 or 12 things on it
    When I sit down and actually think about thinks, it's scary that there's actually a lot going on


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    • #18
    #18

    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    So far there's about 11 or 12 things on it
    When I sit down and actually think about thinks, it's scary that there's actually a lot going on


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    I know how you feel. I'm at the point again where I also don't do the things I should do.

    I'm such a loser.
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    So after chatting with someone from here last night, I wrote down a list to actually take to my dr to be completely honest with her, and it's terrifying how Iv not been honest at all so far the list is ridiculous and I don't like it at all


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    I actually did that, too. I managed to read it off, but I even considered just handing the list over, I have a big problem with talking out loud about problems. I guess I think if you ignore it they aren't real.
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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Currently in the car going to where I'll be staying for a while. So which means I won't be on here anymore or I'll not be on as much depending if they let me keep my phone or not :/. A few people on here know where it is I'm going but I'm not gonna say publicly.. Personal reasons and all. Never been so scared in my life before.

    But just wanted to say a big thanks to those who've helped me and you guys are all awesome! This thread has become my wee little family and I'll never forget you guys! Take care guys, stay safe x


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    Hey, all the best to you!
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    Baking is so therapeutic.......
    making the most chocolatey chocolate cake ever to exist for my boyfriend as a surprise... and it's flour free so I can eat it too
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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Currently in the car going to where I'll be staying for a while. So which means I won't be on here anymore or I'll not be on as much depending if they let me keep my phone or not :/. A few people on here know where it is I'm going but I'm not gonna say publicly.. Personal reasons and all. Never been so scared in my life before.

    But just wanted to say a big thanks to those who've helped me and you guys are all awesome! This thread has become my wee little family and I'll never forget you guys! Take care guys, stay safe x


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    I hope you're ok :hugs: I will miss you not being on so often. PM whenever you can just to let me know you're ok :hugs: Don't be scared, the only way is up I'll probably message you on A level results day just to let you know - I know you most likely won't be able to reply and if you do it'll be a while but just thought I'd let you know
    All the best, stay safe :hugs: xx
    Remember I'm only ever a PM away if you need anything
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    So far there's about 11 or 12 things on it
    When I sit down and actually think about thinks, it's scary that there's actually a lot going on


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    :hugs: I know its scary, its never nice writing down everything that is going on, but from what I've heard from health professionals, they greatly appreciate knowing everything that is going on. It makes their job easier, so they can help you better. I really hope that it helps your GP or support worker or anyone else plan your care better and get the help you need, because t the minute, it doesn't sound like you are getting all the support you need.


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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    Baking is so therapeutic.......
    making the most chocolatey chocolate cake ever to exist for my boyfriend as a surprise... and it's flour free so I can eat it too
    Baking is one of the best distractions I think. Always calms me down so much.


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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    :hugs: I know its scary, its never nice writing down everything that is going on, but from what I've heard from health professionals, they greatly appreciate knowing everything that is going on. It makes their job easier, so they can help you better. I really hope that it helps your GP or support worker or anyone else plan your care better and get the help you need, because t the minute, it doesn't sound like you are getting all the support you need.


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    Hope she appreciates it if not I'm telling her a lot of stuff I haven't told anyone
    I'm getting no support, the support worker is mainly for Rory, I just have a dr that wants me off meds and a therapist that hasn't even contacted me yet that I'll most likely have to stop before it starts


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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Baking is one of the best distractions I think. Always calms me down so much.


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    Baking is the solution to all problems I swear......
    CAKE IS LIFE. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    Baking is the solution to all problems I swear......
    CAKE IS LIFE. :rolleyes:
    Tiz only the solution if you can bake. TLG cannot bake to save her life :no:

    TLG is, however, an expert on taste-testing :ninja: And that all important role of Bowl Licker


    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Currently in the car going to where I'll be staying for a while. So which means I won't be on here anymore or I'll not be on as much depending if they let me keep my phone or not :/. A few people on here know where it is I'm going but I'm not gonna say publicly.. Personal reasons and all. Never been so scared in my life before.

    But just wanted to say a big thanks to those who've helped me and you guys are all awesome! This thread has become my wee little family and I'll never forget you guys! Take care guys, stay safe x


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    Good luck! :hugs:

    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    So after chatting with someone from here last night, I wrote down a list to actually take to my dr to be completely honest with her, and it's terrifying how Iv not been honest at all so far the list is ridiculous and I don't like it at all


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    :console: Being honest isn't easy but it's a great step forward :yes:

    Top tip: don't fill in DLA forms unless you absolutely have to. Coz if you think writing a list for your GP is depressing and daunting, DLA application form won't be a good experience for you. Genuinely one of the most depressing experiences of my life, filling in that form. Which is saying something, given my life :p:
 
 
 
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