Depression Society MkII Watch

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Nothos
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#5361
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#5361
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
how comes so many people on have counselling teams and people who ring them and assess them? I've never had anything like that and doctors never seem to take anything I say too seriously. I told one I was suicidal and then he prescribed 2 months worth of my repeat prescription. Obviously I'm not stupid enough to try to OD on Paxil but that was the first time he'd met me, he doesn't know that.

Does anyone ever feeling like killing themselves just to **** over all the people who never believed you'd do it or didn't bother helping you?

It's so weird reading posts on here about people being upset or being lonely or unable to stop crying. I'm so thoroughly numb I can't feel any of those things. Maybe nothing bad enough ever happens to me.
Check your PMs, m'dear :hugs:
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Nothos
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#5362
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#5362
(Original post by upturnedpalms)
Yes.
But is it worth it? Think, all the people who do care (and even if you don't think there are many, trust me, there are. The outpouring of grief after my suicide attempt was overwhelming), they are the majority and they want nothing more than to make sure you're better, is it worth spiting a small number of people at the expense of the majority?
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upturnedpalms
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#5363
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#5363
(Original post by BruceTaylor)
But is it worth it? Think, all the people who do care (and even if you don't think there are many, trust me, there are. The outpouring of grief after my suicide attempt was overwhelming), they are the majority and they want nothing more than to make sure you're better, is it worth spiting a small number of people at the expense of the majority?
I don't know. You're right, of course, but I'm just bitter. Recently I told someone about... well, stuff, because she asked me to. She said I could talk to her any time, that it was unfair that I had to pretend and hide stuff, and that I could talk to her and I would be okay. The next week she said I couldn't talk to her anymore. Now, I don't expect people to listen or understand, I really don't, I know how hard that is. I also don't expect people to be constant companions, I understand the difficulty of that too. What I couldn't cope with was her telling me that she would be there for me, basically all the stuff that I'd wanted to hear for a very long time, and then doing a complete about face. So now whenever I see her all I can think is that she knows I'm cutting myself up and she's the only one, but she doesn't care enough to... I don't know, I don't even expect her to do anything. I just need to know there's someone, you know?
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Nothos
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#5364
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#5364
(Original post by upturnedpalms)
I don't know. You're right, of course, but I'm just bitter. Recently I told someone about... well, stuff, because she asked me to. She said I could talk to her any time, that it was unfair that I had to pretend and hide stuff, and that I could talk to her and I would be okay. The next week she said I couldn't talk to her anymore. Now, I don't expect people to listen or understand, I really don't, I know how hard that is. I also don't expect people to be constant companions, I understand the difficulty of that too. What I couldn't cope with was her telling me that she would be there for me, basically all the stuff that I'd wanted to hear for a very long time, and then doing a complete about face. So now whenever I see her all I can think is that she knows I'm cutting myself up and she's the only one, but she doesn't care enough to... I don't know, I don't even expect her to do anything. I just need to know there's someone, you know?
I know how you feel, trust me... Seriously, if you just want to vent or anything, PM me, I promise I'll be here for you :hugs:
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upturnedpalms
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#5365
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#5365
(Original post by BruceTaylor)
I know how you feel, trust me... Seriously, if you just want to vent or anything, PM me, I promise I'll be here for you :hugs:
God, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said all that. I've been away from this soc for a while, lurking really, and... arghhh...
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Nothos
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#5366
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#5366
(Original post by upturnedpalms)
God, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said all that. I've been away from this soc for a while, lurking really, and... arghhh...
:hugs: Don't apologise! It's perfectly all right, like I said, I know how you feel, we all just want someone to be able to talk to for cathartic reasons. Again, if you really need someone to talk to, I promise to be here for you
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upturnedpalms
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#5367
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#5367
(Original post by BruceTaylor)
:hugs: Don't apologise! It's perfectly all right, like I said, I know how you feel, we all just want someone to be able to talk to for cathartic reasons. Again, if you really need someone to talk to, I promise to be here for you
Thank you. :yep:
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Nothos
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#5368
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#5368
(Original post by upturnedpalms)
Thank you. :yep:
That's all right I said all that not as a fellow depressive, but as a human being...
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raspberrybubbles
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#5369
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#5369
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
how comes so many people on have counselling teams and people who ring them and assess them? I've never had anything like that and doctors never seem to take anything I say too seriously. I told one I was suicidal and then he prescribed 2 months worth of my repeat prescription. Obviously I'm not stupid enough to try to OD on Paxil but that was the first time he'd met me, he doesn't know that.

Does anyone ever feeling like killing themselves just to **** over all the people who never believed you'd do it or didn't bother helping you?

It's so weird reading posts on here about people being upset or being lonely or unable to stop crying. I'm so thoroughly numb I can't feel any of those things. Maybe nothing bad enough ever happens to me.
Yes to the wanting to kill yourself to spite people and ditto to the feeling numb; I cried last night for the first time since september... when I'm at uni I'm just too numb/nothing bad enough there happens to make me cry
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becki08
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#5370
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#5370
(Original post by upturnedpalms)
I don't know. You're right, of course, but I'm just bitter. Recently I told someone about... well, stuff, because she asked me to. She said I could talk to her any time, that it was unfair that I had to pretend and hide stuff, and that I could talk to her and I would be okay. The next week she said I couldn't talk to her anymore. Now, I don't expect people to listen or understand, I really don't, I know how hard that is. I also don't expect people to be constant companions, I understand the difficulty of that too. What I couldn't cope with was her telling me that she would be there for me, basically all the stuff that I'd wanted to hear for a very long time, and then doing a complete about face. So now whenever I see her all I can think is that she knows I'm cutting myself up and she's the only one, but she doesn't care enough to... I don't know, I don't even expect her to do anything. I just need to know there's someone, you know?
Hi Hannah :hugs:

Haven't seen you around for ages. How are things at the moment? I'm really sorry your friend was like that. You know I'm always here for you though yeah? I'm just a PM or text away (sorry I haven't texted you - I've lost your number because my old phone stopped working) xxx
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becki08
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#5371
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#5371
(Original post by raspberrybubbles)
Yes to the wanting to kill yourself to spite people and ditto to the feeling numb; I cried last night for the first time since september... when I'm at uni I'm just too numb/nothing bad enough there happens to make me cry
:hugs: what happened last night sweetheart?
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becki08
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#5372
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#5372
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
how comes so many people on have counselling teams and people who ring them and assess them? I've never had anything like that and doctors never seem to take anything I say too seriously. I told one I was suicidal and then he prescribed 2 months worth of my repeat prescription. Obviously I'm not stupid enough to try to OD on Paxil but that was the first time he'd met me, he doesn't know that.

Does anyone ever feeling like killing themselves just to **** over all the people who never believed you'd do it or didn't bother helping you?

It's so weird reading posts on here about people being upset or being lonely or unable to stop crying. I'm so thoroughly numb I can't feel any of those things. Maybe nothing bad enough ever happens to me.
Can you tell your doctor you feel like you need some more support than you're getting? Maybe ask for counselling if he doesn't suggest it?

And yes I've felt like that a bit before but whenever I have attempted it, it hasn't been for that reason. It's best to keep asking for the help though rather than risk your life :hugs:

I used to not be able to cry for nearly a year even though I was severely depressed. I was just numb and empty. I still often get like that now so you're not alone. It's not necessarily that there's nothing bad just that you're so worn out that you body can't cope with you crying so it blocks it out and makes you feel numb. I know that can be a horrible feeling but it will pass and you will be able to cry again :hugs:
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becki08
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#5373
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#5373
(Original post by Rainfaery)
I hate me. I wish I could stop crying.
:hugs: what's up? Why do you hate yourself?
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becki08
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#5374
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#5374
(Original post by Vienna Cannon)
My mum isn't going to come down tomorrow even though she said she would i alway seem to get let down,
it sucks.
Also recently found that my nan has bowel cancer i think
I'm sorry to hear about your nan. I know it's scary but the survival rates for cancer now are much better. I really hope she gets the treatment she needs soon :hugs:
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becki08
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#5375
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#5375
(Original post by KJ21)
I have now offically cracked up, I have fallen to pieces and cannot cope anymore
What's happening? :hugs:
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upturnedpalms
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#5376
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#5376
(Original post by becki08)
Hi Hannah :hugs:

Haven't seen you around for ages. How are things at the moment? I'm really sorry your friend was like that. You know I'm always here for you though yeah? I'm just a PM or text away (sorry I haven't texted you - I've lost your number because my old phone stopped working) xxx
I've missed you lot. I just thought maybe getting away would help me, but I'm in a pretty bad way. Except I got into Oxford.
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becki08
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#5377
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#5377
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
What's up Jonathon?

Oh dear, I've been home for 2 days and my Mum's already in a sulk with me and has declared that 'christmas won't be any good this year because she's here'.
:hugs: Sorry your mum is like that. I know it's hard but try to focus on just getting through this week and remember you can go back to uni soon :hugs:
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Rainfaery
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#5378
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#5378
(Original post by becki08)
:hugs: what's up? Why do you hate yourself?
I hate me because I'm an idiot and I get too upset and I can't ever stop crying. I'm paranoid, and I just fail at life.
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becki08
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#5379
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#5379
(Original post by upturnedpalms)
I've missed you lot. I just thought maybe getting away would help me, but I'm in a pretty bad way. Except I got into Oxford.
Well done sweetheart!!!! That's fantastic! Do you want to talk about what's been happening? You can PM me if it's easier :hugs: Yeah I know what you mean about getting away - I did that for a while too.
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becki08
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#5380
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#5380
(Original post by Rainfaery)
I hate me because I'm an idiot and I get too upset and I can't ever stop crying. I'm paranoid, and I just fail at life.
:hugs: If you're alive you haven't failed yet I'm sure you're not an idiot. Just because you get upset easily it doesn't mean you're stupid. It's a symptom of depression, as is the crying. Are you getting any support? What are you paranoid about? I'm here if you want to talk :hugs:
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