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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    Not great tbh :/ in a lot of pain/feeling anxious. a bit better than last night though - thanks for being there :hugs: how are you?
    Sorry I wasn't able to help. :hugs:

    I'm alright, I guess. Too dissociated really. Need to do work but cannot focus.
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    Sorry I wasn't able to help. :hugs:

    I'm alright, I guess. Too dissociated really. Need to do work but cannot focus.
    no its ok, nothing could have helped at the time, wasn't able to articulate anything so nothing to do with you. sorry you're dissociated :console: please don't put too much pressure on yourself if you can help it :no:
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    TLG Update

    I'm off North of the Border Fri-Sun, will hardly be at laptop. I'm not ignoring anyone if I don't reply messages/don't sympathise with people having a bad time

    :grouphugs:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    TLG Update

    I'm off North of the Border Fri-Sun, will hardly be at laptop. I'm not ignoring anyone if I don't reply messages/don't sympathise with people having a bad time

    :grouphugs:
    ooh, how north of the border?


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    (Original post by Odd socks)
    ooh, how north of the border?


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    Not very far Edinburgh :awesome:

    I'm scared. This is EVEN MORE NORTH than Ooop North (which, FYI, starts just above Watford) :eek4:

    :afraid:



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    Got a call today from IAPT and I was made an appointment for in 3 weeks time for an assessment. Has made me feel a bit better because I know something will get done!
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    Is it daft that today when one of my friends came round with her little boy, I actually felt really down. Was nice to see my friend and stuff, but just seeing her little boy made me wish I was that age again and I feel like at 24 my life has been wasted, all due to this social anxiety and depression. I can't do stuff and I don't feel like I have anything to offer anyone

    Also, my very best friend its kind of affecting my depression at the moment the fact she doesn't seem to have anything to do with me much these days. Says she cares and yet 3 weeks went by without even just one text to see how I am or anything, took a text from me for her to remember I exist Is it selfish that I feel like that ? Also when I've asked her to come on holiday always has an excuse yet I then see her going away with another friend often. Then again people always seem to desert me and I don't blame them. I have no confidence, I'm very negative. Just not a fun person to be around I guess
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Not very far Edinburgh :awesome:

    I'm scared. This is EVEN MORE NORTH than Ooop North (which, FYI, starts just above Watford) :eek4:

    :afraid:



    :ninja:
    ah if it was further up we could have grabbed a coffee

    don't be scared, scottish people are very nice, and from what I can remember Edinburgh isn't hard to find your way around :yep:


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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    no its ok, nothing could have helped at the time, wasn't able to articulate anything so nothing to do with you. sorry you're dissociated :console: please don't put too much pressure on yourself if you can help it :no:
    just dont know whaat to do anymore. whats the point? :dontknow:
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    just dont know whaat to do anymore. whats the point? :dontknow:
    honestly I've been asking the same question over and over for the last few weeks. I don't have the answer im afraid. :sigh: not sure if there is one. just somehow have to muddle through in the hope that better time are coming. which I sincerely hope there are. :hugs:
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    CMHT assessment tomorrow. ****ting it. cant convince body its capable of movement. cant do anything
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    (Original post by Odd socks)
    ah if it was further up we could have grabbed a coffee

    don't be scared, scottish people are very nice, and from what I can remember Edinburgh isn't hard to find your way around :yep:


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    PRSOM. Stupid TSR :grumble:
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    CMHT assessment tomorrow. ****ting it. cant convince body its capable of movement. cant do anything
    could someone go with you? my best friend came with me to my initial assessment. if you need to takl about it/want to talk about it, let me know.
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    could someone go with you? my best friend came with me to my initial assessment. if you need to takl about it/want to talk about it, let me know.
    :no: I don't have anyone at all that could come. Don't want anyone to know everything going on in my mind anyway. And if it goes badly I will lose the plot and end up in a state which I don't think anyone would be able to help with so I would just embarrass myself. none of my friends here have the slightest clue about MH at all
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    :no: I don't have anyone at all that could come. Don't want anyone to know everything going on in my mind anyway. And if it goes badly I will lose the plot and end up in a state which I don't think anyone would be able to help with so I would just embarrass myself. none of my friends here have the slightest clue about MH at all
    :hugs: you can always stay in the place that your assessment takes place, i mean I ran out after my initial assessment, but if you're unsafe you don't have to leave. also if you're unable to answer a question say so...there's no point in stressing yourself out further. ok? :console: sorry if this is uselss
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    :hugs: you can always stay in the place that your assessment takes place, i mean I ran out after my initial assessment, but if you're unsafe you don't have to leave. also if you're unable to answer a question say so...there's no point in stressing yourself out further. ok? :console: sorry if this is uselss
    no it's def helpful, thanks :hugs: have had an assessment before at uni but hoping this one wont be as bad :/ how are you?
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
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    I'm really sorry you're feeling so bad I will stop labouring the point, but in a nutshell, brains lie and make us think things that aren't true about ourselves - just remember that. If you want to cry, then maybe crying would help to release some of the emotions? And if you want to run away, then run away to me! :awesome: I'll look after you, and I'll give you both types of chicken soup :yep: :hugs:
    Spoiler:
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    :hugs:
    Sorry, no - not labouring - is a good point to make. Just I'm a bit too confused/back and forth I think :sigh:
    Yeah, need to remember about brain lying, just wish you could clearly tell whether it is or not, and often just wonder whether I'm acting as if brain's lying when really I should be listening/I'm being rational. Or something....!
    Yeah might do sometime soon not sure - did a bit a couple night ago and did help I think a bit.
    Haha :party:
    Thanks :jumphug:

    Really hope CMHT thing goes okay for you tomorrow :hugs:


    (Original post by Pathway)
    :hugs: Here if you need anything.
    Thanks pathway :hugs: Sorry you've been struggling so much recently Hope you're okay :hugs:

    (Original post by senz72)
    I can't. Look at me, I'm just a pile of turd.
    All I can feel is a sense of death. Mind's in overdrive.
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    Tempted to just pay someone to finish it :s
    :no:
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    Don't think that'd be a good idea at all Sorry you're feeling so rubbish :hugs:



    -----------------------------

    Wasted the whole evening. :sigh: Going to get an early night, I think, will shut laptop a bit now and spend half an hour making some sort of cramming sheet. Not sure about group therapy yet either Might go in a tad earlier/ask counsellor what she thinks would be best. Wish I could just make decisions
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    no it's def helpful, thanks :hugs: have had an assessment before at uni but hoping this one wont be as bad :/ how are you?
    dont know just feel so bad trying to distract myself from memories but its not wroking

    (Original post by purple-duck)
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    :hugs:
    Sorry, no - not labouring - is a good point to make. Just I'm a bit too confused/back and forth I think :sigh:
    Yeah, need to remember about brain lying, just wish you could clearly tell whether it is or not, and often just wonder whether I'm acting as if brain's lying when really I should be listening/I'm being rational. Or something....!
    Yeah might do sometime soon not sure - did a bit a couple night ago and did help I think a bit.
    Haha :party:
    Thanks :jumphug:

    Really hope CMHT thing goes okay for you tomorrow :hugs:



    Thanks pathway :hugs: Sorry you've been struggling so much recently Hope you're okay :hugs:


    :no:
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    Don't think that'd be a good idea at all Sorry you're feeling so rubbish :hugs:



    -----------------------------

    Wasted the whole evening. :sigh: Going to get an early night, I think, will shut laptop a bit now and spend half an hour making some sort of cramming sheet. Not sure about group therapy yet either Might go in a tad earlier/ask counsellor what she thinks would be best. Wish I could just make decisions
    thank you i hoep youfeel better soon too
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    (Original post by purple-duck)
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    :hugs:
    Sorry, no - not labouring - is a good point to make. Just I'm a bit too confused/back and forth I think :sigh:
    Yeah, need to remember about brain lying, just wish you could clearly tell whether it is or not, and often just wonder whether I'm acting as if brain's lying when really I should be listening/I'm being rational. Or something....!
    Yeah might do sometime soon not sure - did a bit a couple night ago and did help I think a bit.
    Haha :party:
    Thanks :jumphug:

    Really hope CMHT thing goes okay for you tomorrow :hugs:



    Thanks pathway :hugs: Sorry you've been struggling so much recently Hope you're okay :hugs:


    :no:
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    Don't think that'd be a good idea at all Sorry you're feeling so rubbish :hugs:



    -----------------------------

    Wasted the whole evening. :sigh: Going to get an early night, I think, will shut laptop a bit now and spend half an hour making some sort of cramming sheet. Not sure about group therapy yet either Might go in a tad earlier/ask counsellor what she thinks would be best. Wish I could just make decisions
    :hugs: I would go to group therapy. On the balance of probabilities it's unlikely that you will get enough revision done in that time in order to make not going, worth it. (if that even makes sense, swear im incoherent these days/cant string a sentence together )

    (Original post by Pathway)
    dont know just feel so bad trying to distract myself from memories but its not wroking



    thank you i hoep youfeel better soon too
    really sorry to hear that :console:
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    So had a whirlwind of a day.

    Got a start date for my job :woo:
    start next thursday for induction then straight onto session thursday night :eek:

    Then found out my mum had been in hospital for 2 days with a liver infection pretty worried about her as shes still very ill, but due to lack of beds they had to send her home to get better at home but shes got to go back at some point for more tests

    Then went to bingo with the mother in law (in her little community hall where she lives to get her socialising with the locals) and won twice :woo:

    Gotta phone ESA tomorrow to tell them i have a job and ask how it will affect us


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