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    (Original post by Odd socks)
    glad you seem to be doing well :yep: I find that working is good for my mental health, it gives me tasks to do which I know I can manage and means that I can distract myself from worrying about things for a few hours :yep:


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    Thanks Just hoping I don't burn out, I'll cross that bridge when/if I come to it though Yeah, I can see why that is good - I'm still a bit nervy on the till because I've never used one like it before but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it soon enough.
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    Feel unbelievably utterly **** :sigh:


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    they keep stealing my thoughts, and ever since i told my gp about it i can't help but wonder what the thoughts are/what they're doing with them. and alos who "they" are

    everything is so stupuid and confusing and i want to go to sleep and i cant stop shaking/panicking. im such a waste of time/space
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    they keep stealing my thoughts, and ever since i told my gp about it i can't help but wonder what the thoughts are/what they're doing with them. and alos who "they" are

    everything is so stupuid and confusing and i want to go to sleep and i cant stop shaking/panicking. im such a waste of time/space
    Out of interest, is it like you're thinking about something important and then suddenly it's gone and you have zero idea what it even was?

    Could you ask your GP for something to help with the anxiety or something to help with the sleep?
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    A friend died today and I am so caught up in myself to even process it. Full of self loathing
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Out of interest, is it like you're thinking about something important and then suddenly it's gone and you have zero idea what it even was?

    Could you ask your GP for something to help with the anxiety or something to help with the sleep?
    yeah. and its just that feeling you get when you have something taken from you?? dont know how to explain it. but that's all i'm left with and it's scaring me - i dont understand why it keeps happening

    could but i'm scared of medication? still haven''t gone to pick up my prescription for fluoxetine that i was given like..2 months ago or whatever haha
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    yeah. and its just that feeling you get when you have something taken from you?? dont know how to explain it. but that's all i'm left with and it's scaring me - i dont understand why it keeps happening

    could but i'm scared of medication? still haven''t gone to pick up my prescription for fluoxetine that i was given like..2 months ago or whatever haha
    Yeah, I know what you mean. It is really scary. :hugs: I told my psychiatrist today about it happening to me and she seemed to think that increasing my antipsychotic might help. A lot of me really hopes that's just the case and it's nothing more sinister (the other part of me is **** scared about it). I noticed you said you told your doctor already; what did he say?

    I can relate to you being scared of medication, I used to be too. But stuff like zopiclone and diazepam (insomnia and anxiety respectively) have made my life so, so much easier. Could you try talking your fears over with your doctor?
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    (Original post by Jay84)
    A friend died today and I am so caught up in myself to even process it. Full of self loathing
    Sorry to hear that Jay. :console: You do need to take care of yourself so try not to feel too guilty about doing so.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Yeah, I know what you mean. It is really scary. :hugs: I told my psychiatrist today about it happening to me and she seemed to think that increasing my antipsychotic might help. A lot of me really hopes that's just the case and it's nothing more sinister (the other part of me is **** scared about it). I noticed you said you told your doctor already; what did he say?

    I can relate to you being scared of medication, I used to be too. But stuff like zopiclone and diazepam (insomnia and anxiety respectively) have made my life so, so much easier. Could you try talking your fears over with your doctor?
    she just sort of made me more worried. i wasnt initially worrying about what could be happening with the information (just the fact that it was being taken/didn't know who by), but then she said "are you worried about what could be happening with the information" and now i am? is that weird idk. i'm sure your med increase will help :console: hwo've you been recently? not seen you around much!

    yeah, i know, i'm just worried about being out of control of myself or meds messing up my exams. just dont know really, what if meds cant help me? dont know how to deal with it and want to cry. i refuse to take pain medication for my physical disability too. probably sound so stupid just dont know why im so owrried about it, as i know it helps people (i study psychology), but i am. every time i take medication i automatically throw it back up :dontknow:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Sorry to hear that Jay. :console: You do need to take care of yourself so try not to feel too guilty about doing so.
    Its difficult to do so because everyone is either a self recognised expert on your mental health or just thinks your not trying hard enough. Getting stick for looking gaunt and like **** as if the criticism will make things better and it is my intention to feel sick and not be able to sleep. I probably need diazepam but don't have time for doctor and no reliable street source round here. Don't think I can drink it away cos I'll either be sick or it'll make me worse.


    Taking all my mental energy to keep it together in work and even that is going tits up. Got some funny looks cos I had to take a walk at lunchtime rather than sit with colleagues. Felt like I was gonna burst otherwise.
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    she just sort of made me more worried. i wasnt initially worrying about what could be happening with the information (just the fact that it was being taken/didn't know who by), but then she said "are you worried about what could be happening with the information" and now i am? is that weird idk. i'm sure your med increase will help :console: hwo've you been recently? not seen you around much!

    yeah, i know, i'm just worried about being out of control of myself or meds messing up my exams. just dont know really, what if meds cant help me? dont know how to deal with it and want to cry. i refuse to take pain medication for my physical disability too. probably sound so stupid just dont know why im so owrried about it, as i know it helps people (i study psychology), but i am. every time i take medication i automatically throw it back up :dontknow:
    Oops, that kinda backfired I don't think it's weird to worry about that only after she pointed it out - especially if it's something you simply hadn't thought of. It seems odd that that's all she did when you told her this..... :/

    Have you had any talk therapy? The way you've described it, it kind of sounds like something that talking over with a professional might help with; like a fear I guess...I dunno. Does your doctor know you haven't picked up/taken the fluoxetine? Perhaps starting there might be helpful?


    and yeah, hoping the medication helps. Thanks. The voices aren't as loud as a couple weeks ago which is progress I guess....Not really been on TSR much (I'd like to say I was doing something more productive, but in all honesty, I wasn't )
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    (Original post by Jay84)
    Its difficult to do so because everyone is either a self recognised expert on your mental health or just thinks your not trying hard enough. Getting stick for looking gaunt and like **** as if the criticism will make things better and it is my intention to feel sick and not be able to sleep. I probably need diazepam but don't have time for doctor and no reliable street source round here. Don't think I can drink it away cos I'll either be sick or it'll make me worse.


    Taking all my mental energy to keep it together in work and even that is going tits up. Got some funny looks cos I had to take a walk at lunchtime rather than sit with colleagues. Felt like I was gonna burst otherwise.
    **** 'em. These people sound like insensitive morons for treating you like that. I'm sorry it's happening to you, but if you're trying your best then you're certainly not at fault. I think you're right that drinking probably won't help matters. I hope you manage to keep things together.

    Are you at college/uni as well as work (or was that someone else?), if so, it's really awesome that you're giving it your all.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Oops, that kinda backfired I don't think it's weird to worry about that only after she pointed it out - especially if it's something you simply hadn't thought of. It seems odd that that's all she did when you told her this..... :/

    Have you had any talk therapy? The way you've described it, it kind of sounds like something that talking over with a professional might help with; like a fear I guess...I dunno. Does your doctor know you haven't picked up/taken the fluoxetine? Perhaps starting there might be helpful?


    and yeah, hoping the medication helps. Thanks. The voices aren't as loud as a couple weeks ago which is progress I guess....Not really been on TSR much (I'd like to say I was doing something more productive, but in all honesty, I wasn't )
    yeah! and nope, she did say it was probably stress related (exams and having to go home/see abusers). dont know if i should mention it to cmht bc i dont really trust them. that and they've not said when im getting my next appointment (when i last saw them i was really distressed, having called the crisis line the previous day and them being **** - lady essentially called me a loser lol)

    not yet, am waiting for an assessment with a clinical psych to see which therapy would work best. i'm still with my uni counsellor though, but she's not really helping? but yeah, my best friend said the same thing to me about needing to talk about the fear i have of it. i think it'd help too. yeah, my GP knows i havent started the fluox, hopefully going to start it after the exam season - terrified about it though

    i'm glad you've made a little progress. :hugs: hopefully it keeps going in a positive direction.

    (sorry for being so ramble-y, my head's all over the place)
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    (Original post by Jay84)
    A friend died today and I am so caught up in myself to even process it. Full of self loathing
    R.I.P

    Was going to have a moan but that has put my relatively good situation into perspective so will save it for another time. :rolleyes:
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    Spoiler for ****ness and ED

    Spoiler:
    Show
    having a really bad time right now and i know its been kicked off by this whole DWP bollox. Been so dissassoiative today, like i know i was on the phone to my mum for over half an hour but no idea what was said. And i just sat infront of the tele with no recollection of what i watched.
    I cant even think
    Ed bit
    Spoiler:
    Show

    And for the past half hour iv been looking at meal supplement drinks, even though im lucky if i eat 2 meals anyway!
    Iv only managed 1 actual meal today then snacks.
    Urgh

    I dont even know what to do anymore.
    Or who to tell this too, cos iv not seen my normal dr in so long and i havnt done loads of stuff that she reffered me too



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    (Original post by Pathway)
    yeah! and nope, she did say it was probably stress related (exams and having to go home/see abusers). dont know if i should mention it to cmht bc i dont really trust them. that and they've not said when im getting my next appointment (when i last saw them i was really distressed, having called the crisis line the previous day and them being **** - lady essentially called me a loser lol)

    not yet, am waiting for an assessment with a clinical psych to see which therapy would work best. i'm still with my uni counsellor though, but she's not really helping? but yeah, my best friend said the same thing to me about needing to talk about the fear i have of it. i think it'd help too. yeah, my GP knows i havent started the fluox, hopefully going to start it after the exam season - terrified about it though

    i'm glad you've made a little progress. :hugs: hopefully it keeps going in a positive direction.

    (sorry for being so ramble-y, my head's all over the place)
    I hope it is stress related for you and nothing worse (not that stress isn't bad, but like something less temporary or something.....boy this hole is getting deeper). I never actually saw CMHT when I lived in the UK, but I have heard some real horror stories about them. It's disgraceful how they treat some people and it surprises me that there aren't more tragic consequences from things I've heard. So I don't think you're alone there. :console: But I guess the more information they have about you, hopefully the more they will be able to help.

    Good luck with starting the fluoxetine. Sometimes the early side effects of SSRIs can be annoying so waiting until after exams should hopefully make things easier for you to handle - in terms of like actually taking a medication (I think this makes sense, sorry I'm rambling too ).
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    don't have anything in me to reply to people atm but :hugs: to those struggling.

    am feeling as weak as a kitten and am totally clueless about how Im going to get through tonight. thoughts are v rational and bad and ive just reached a point where I see no point in my existence. this is futile and repulsive
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    Does anyone else ever take what someone has said and over analyze it and take what they have said to mean something else and drive yourself mad with worrying about it ?

    Appointment for ESA medical dropped through letterbox the other day and I did end up having a call back from one of the customer service managers at the assessment centre trying to allay some fears and told me alot of what I have read on the internet is just scaremongering and people who have had a bad experience and want to give ATOS or whoever is doing medicals now a bad name. He was very nice to be fair. Gave me his direct line incase I have any more worries or concerns or even if I want to find out where my claim is up to.

    But what I am driving myself mad with and have actually been crying about is when I spoke to GP about medical and maybe a letter to advise I couldn't go (social anxiety) he has said that its not him being unsympathetic but he thinks actually going would be better as it will show the assessor my anxiety more than a home visit where I would be relaxed

    I have however to it the wrong way and got myself in an extremely anxious worked up worried state thinking that GP basically just means I'm lazy and should be back at work. Not great feelings to have when I need a.new fit note next week I don't know whether to mention that I have been over analyzing what he said and what I have made out in my head that he meant or whether it will just make me look an idiot
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I hope it is stress related for you and nothing worse (not that stress isn't bad, but like something less temporary or something.....boy this hole is getting deeper). I never actually saw CMHT when I lived in the UK, but I have heard some real horror stories about them. It's disgraceful how they treat some people and it surprises me that there aren't more tragic consequences from things I've heard. So I don't think you're alone there. :console: But I guess the more information they have about you, hopefully the more they will be able to help.

    Good luck with starting the fluoxetine. Sometimes the early side effects of SSRIs can be annoying so waiting until after exams should hopefully make things easier for you to handle - in terms of like actually taking a medication (I think this makes sense, sorry I'm rambling too ).
    i hope so too. i know what you mean!

    yeah, my initial experience with cmht was terrible and the lady said it was "just anxiety" and discharged me, despite me being hysterical (among other things, which i shouldn't go into just in case - but she basically triggered me to the point where i was effectively climbing on the chair in tears (according to my best friend, have no recollection of this)). complained and the consultant was like "you shouldn't have been discharged, i'll change that straight away!"
    diagnosed with ptsd/depression/anxiety now, and they've not said what ED officially yet, just that it's anorexic behaviours (dont fit all the criteria). but yeah, felt terrible after the initial assessment. still feel hopeless, mainly because i havent got a clue how to cope with anything. what if i can't be helped? i mean i've been dealing with this stuff my whole life what if i cant change

    hope so. just nerves. thank you for your kind words though :hugs:
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    (Original post by Danny the Geezer)
    And that, ladies and gentleman, is why you never add your Mum on Facebook.
    This is a woman who "reorganised/searched" my room last summer and that was when I hadn't done anything to annoy her. Like Odd Socks says it's not that simple.
 
 
 
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