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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So if she talks to everyone, except myself, with no context for all the others...I should blame myself and not even bring it up? I literally brought it up here and you were all.against me.

    I don'tbsee how it's safe to make friends knowing they can pretend you don't exist and it's basically your fault. I saw a thread on Relationships where a guy ignored a girl and he was called an insensitve ignorant prick who doesn't deserve her time or attention



    I suppose so but recent trend is that everything men do has to be about women feel. She will have a rest but she'll ignore me and several people here want me to bkame myself for this. Given that the standard respinse to 'I've been ignored' is 'it's your own fault' this just reibforces the idea it's a bad idea to talk to people and I should be ashamed for taking some of their time
    To be honest, you're getting plenty of female attention here... it just happens to be uniformly in condemnation of your attitude towards women. This might hint at why a more non-confrontational style of person [subcategory: female] might go for the 'let's pretend this message never happened' sort of approach. :dontknow:
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    To be honest, you're getting plenty of female attention here... it just happens to be uniformly in condemnation of your attitude towards women. This might hint at why a more non-confrontational style of person [subcategory: female] might go for the 'let's pretend this message never happened' sort of approach. :dontknow:
    this.
    • #18
    #18

    (Original post by superwolf)
    To be honest, you're getting plenty of female attention here... it just happens to be uniformly in condemnation of your attitude towards women. This might hint at why a more non-confrontational style of person [subcategory: female] might go for the 'let's pretend this message never happened' sort of approach. :dontknow:

    (Original post by Valvopus)
    this.
    Right so I got negative attention for voicing my upset about being ignored. Given this there is no safe place to say I'm upset. Negative attention from women here is a bi product of voicing my upset...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Right so I got negative attention for voicing my upset about being ignored. Given this there is no safe place to say I'm upset. Negative attention from women here is a bi product of voicing my upset...
    Just because you got upset doesn't make you in the right.
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    life is so cruel
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    life is so cruel
    :hugs: sorry i'm no help
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Right so I got negative attention for voicing my upset about being ignored. Given this there is no safe place to say I'm upset. Negative attention from women here is a bi product of voicing my upset...

    Being upset about being ignored is one thing. However, the way you've talked about it is sexist that is why you are getting negative attention. Negative attention here is a bi-product of you being sexist.
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    Feel really out of it, he contacted me and don't know what to do now. Just want himt o leave me alone. On the upside, finsihed that piece of coursework 5 days earlier than I had planned to, so that's good. Dont know what to do though, just kind of want to hide away and not exist.
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    (Original post by Odd socks)
    :hugs: sorry i'm no help

    :hugs:
    • #18
    #18

    (Original post by PandaWho)
    Do you have proof shes talking to every single person that talks to her but you?
    Doubtful


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I don't, this is a theoretical example

    (Original post by Valvopus)
    You are not entitled to a person's attention. Even if that person is a woman. You are not the victim here because any relationship has to be mutual, the decision to not enter into one is not mutual. The good thing about this is while friends can break off contact with you without explanation is that you are totally allowed to do the same thing.
    I haven't seen that thread so I won't be commenting on it.
    But when I do the same thing women are the victim. And also my experience in childhood was so rocky that any positive acknowledgement would be welcome. I've only cut off 3 girls before, 1 was my ex the other 2 were taking up so much time they interfered with my nental health

    Getting back to people, it is really nice to know why your friend has been ignoring your messages for weeks or months. I guess with strangers I sympathise more with what you're saying, especially given risks of women facing harrassment from men who approach. But as for friends? I'm not sure...

    Secondly I don't see it as 'even if' because I don't see women as beneath me, the problem is when I see myself being told to suck it up for being ignored and someone else being told they've been disrespected. Now when that decision seems to be based mostly on gender I call it out as a product of 'benevolent' sexism/internalised misogyny
    • #18
    #18

    (Original post by Valvopus)
    Being upset about being ignored is one thing. However, the way you've talked about it is sexist that is why you are getting negative attention. Negative attention here is a bi-product of you being sexist.
    Ok I'm willing to hear how I come across that was sexist, and how I could.change that in future?
    • #18
    #18

    Guys obviously i'm riku. My psychologist is yet to hekp me with my actual faulty approach to socialising
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok I'm willing to hear how I come across that was sexist, and how I could.change that in future?
    Your coming across that women should basically drop everything to reply to you iv youv spoken to them.

    The world doesnt and shouldnt work like that. Neither men nor women should feel compelled to reply to someone if they dont want to for whatever reason


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #18
    #18

    (Original post by PandaWho)
    Your coming across that women should basically drop everything to reply to you iv youv spoken to them.

    The world doesnt and shouldnt work like that. Neither men nor women should feel compelled to reply to someone if they dont want to for whatever reason


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I guess so. I just don't know how therefore to say I'm upset by this without coming across as holding it against them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't, this is a theoretical example

    But when I do the same thing women are the victim. And also my experience in childhood was so rocky that any positive acknowledgement would be welcome. I've only cut off 3 girls before, 1 was my ex the other 2 were taking up so much time they interfered with my nental health

    Getting back to people, it is really nice to know why your friend has been ignoring your messages for weeks or months. I guess with strangers I sympathise more with what you're saying, especially given risks of women facing harrassment from men who approach. But as for friends? I'm not sure...

    Secondly I don't see it as 'even if' because I don't see women as beneath me, the problem is when I see myself being told to suck it up for being ignored and someone else being told they've been disrespected. Now when that decision seems to be based mostly on gender I call it out as a product of 'benevolent' sexism/internalised misogyny
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok I'm willing to hear how I come across that was sexist, and how I could.change that in future?
    It is not my job to educate you on sexism. It's not that you're "coming across" as sexist, that's not the problem. You ARE BEING sexist. That's why you're coming across that way.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Guys obviously i'm riku. My psychologist is yet to hekp me with my actual faulty approach to socialising
    This is totally irrelevant to the conversation.
    • #18
    #18

    (Original post by Valvopus)
    It is not my job to educate you on sexism. It's not that you're "coming across" as sexist, that's not the problem. You ARE BEING sexist. That's why you're coming across that way.

    But if I don't know HOW then I cannot change it. And if I am just told 'you're wrong, go look it up' then again this is not a safe space :/

    This is totally irrelevant to the conversation.
    It is entirely relevant because it's who I needed educating by, and I'm a fairly well known user on here. One who has in the last year been slowly outed from.the group...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It is entirely relevant because it's who I needed educating by, and I'm a fairly well known user on here. One who has in the last year been slowly outed from.the group...
    No, I'm holding you to the same standards I hold everybody else. It is not my job to educate you. There are PLENTY of websites that will do that, I am not obliged to do anything.
    "blah blah sexist"
    "that's sexist"
    "it's not I demand you tell me who it's sexist so I can argue each and ever point you make"

    You're trying to make me defend myself and explain which is part of the JADE system of arguing which doesn't resolve anything. I am saying, as a female, that you were being sexist.
    I am not your therapy, your teacher or anybody else with a vested interest in this. I am telling you what I think, I don't then need to back it up with evidence and cite various sources until you're satisfied that I have a basis for my thoughts.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It is entirely relevant because it's who I needed educating by, and I'm a fairly well known user on here. One who has in the last year been slowly outed from.the group...
    It doesnt matter if your riku or joe bloggs,
    Dont know about the others, but id still reply the same whoever you are.


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    Cant stop cryinf
    • #18
    #18

    (Original post by Valvopus)
    No, I'm holding you to the same standards I hold everybody else. It is not my job to educate you. There are PLENTY of websites that will do that, I am not obliged to do anything.
    "blah blah sexist"
    "that's sexist"
    "it's not I demand you tell me who it's sexist so I can argue each and ever point you make"

    You're trying to make me defend myself and explain which is part of the JADE system of arguing which doesn't resolve anything. I am saying, as a female, that you were being sexist.
    I am not your therapy, your teacher or anybody else with a vested interest in this. I am telling you what I think, I don't then need to back it up with evidence and cite various sources until you're satisfied that I have a basis for my thoughts.
    Is it true people don't need to justify their opinion?

    (Original post by PandaWho)
    It doesnt matter if your riku or joe bloggs,
    Dont know about the others, but id still reply the same whoever you are.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Ahh

    i didn't mean give me special treatnent, I mean guys you probably know my issues by now, maybe that context will help
 
 
 
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