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    (Original post by lilacpotato)
    I think perhaps it should start: There is a striking contrast to...
    This is just my opinion, feel free to ignore it!


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    Please may you read this paragraph?

    Last of all, Soyinka and Angelou intertwine vivid language techniques within their poems, painting the great magnitude of the intensity of emotion in relation to prejudice and intolerance. ‘Telephone Conversation,’ uses powerful symbolism to reveal the absurdity of racism, referring to British figures - seeming to only exist and be found in England. Through the voice’s reference of seeing a ‘Red booth. Red pillar-box. Red double-tiered omnibus squelching tar,’ a panoramic sensory overload concerning the surroundings and colour is displayed. In addition, the image of ‘Red double-tiered omnibus squelching tar’ is symbolic to how the dominating British, white community, represented by the ‘omnibus’ would emotionally bully those belonging to the minor black one: ‘squelching tar,’ purposefully allowing them to feel intimidated and inferior. As a result of Britain being a natively white society, the voice may associate the colour ‘red’ and British symbols to the emotional danger, terror and disturbance of intolerance; thus implicitly highlighting the underlying, extreme mental discomfort of the black man. This extreme mental discomfort is the typical, humanistic response to such oppression. Even though the voice seems to have migrated over to Britain and so feels unease, he still manages to explicitly display overlying extreme stamina and self-assurance in his fight against intolerance. Perhaps, the voice may feel ostracised and out of place, threatened by fear of having to continuously experience known racism in his new home, targeted by whites who regularly distressed blacks in their minority. However, the voice is able to show such strength in the face of intolerance due to the realisation that it is the whites whom are in the wrong, being prejudiced towards the blacks for no acceptable reason – with the black man knowing that society should be treated equally. Therefore, images like ‘Red booth’ represent the ridiculous nature of intolerance in that it was a rather common occurrence in England - just by seeing the British symbols is enough for the voice to feel slightly afraid and associate Britain with prejudice. Both ‘Telephone Conversation’ and ‘Still I Rise’ assign battle lexis to ‘surrender’ and ‘shoot,’ creating a semantic field of a fight, implying how prejudice places people directly against one another, regarding to views on racism, morale and their actions. Correspondingly, Angelou also intertwines vivid imagery within ‘Still I Rise,’ cleverly able to create a striking contrast between past and present. By creating a silhouette of defeat, the voice appears to appeal to the readers’ sensual insight of sight; by the ‘shoulders falling down’ and ‘lowered eyes’ implying failure and perhaps disappointment in regarding brutality of the black past. Alternatively, with the ‘soulful cries’ adding gravitas to this image by the addition of an aural layer, the reader is able to use their senses to not only see the impact of past defeat, but are also able to hear it. This comparison between past and present is further magnified through the personification of the voice having described the ‘Past’ as being ‘rooted in pain.’ This phrase provides human assets to ‘the past,’ which creates a striking contrast of the difficult times with its sufferings and limitations to the great, emotional joys of the future
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    (Original post by ?Hannah)
    Please may you read this paragraph?

    Last of all, Soyinka and Angelou intertwine vivid language techniques within their poems, painting the great magnitude of the intensity of emotion in relation to prejudice and intolerance. ‘Telephone Conversation,’ uses powerful symbolism to reveal the absurdity of racism, referring to British figures - seeming to only exist and be found in England. Through the voice’s reference of seeing a ‘Red booth. Red pillar-box. Red double-tiered omnibus squelching tar,’ a panoramic sensory overload concerning the surroundings and colour is displayed. In addition, the image of ‘Red double-tiered omnibus squelching tar’ is symbolic to how the dominating British, white community, represented by the ‘omnibus’ would emotionally bully those belonging to the minor black one: ‘squelching tar,’ purposefully allowing them to feel intimidated and inferior. As a result of Britain being a natively white society, the voice may associate the colour ‘red’ and British symbols to the emotional danger, terror and disturbance of intolerance; thus implicitly highlighting the underlying, extreme mental discomfort of the black man. This extreme mental discomfort is the typical, humanistic response to such oppression. Even though the voice seems to have migrated over to Britain and so feels unease, he still manages to explicitly display overlying extreme stamina and self-assurance in his fight against intolerance. Perhaps, the voice may feel ostracised and out of place, threatened by fear of having to continuously experience known racism in his new home, targeted by whites who regularly distressed blacks in their minority. However, the voice is able to show such strength in the face of intolerance due to the realisation that it is the whites whom are in the wrong, being prejudiced towards the blacks for no acceptable reason – with the black man knowing that society should be treated equally. Therefore, images like ‘Red booth’ represent the ridiculous nature of intolerance in that it was a rather common occurrence in England - just by seeing the British symbols is enough for the voice to feel slightly afraid and associate Britain with prejudice. Both ‘Telephone Conversation’ and ‘Still I Rise’ assign battle lexis to ‘surrender’ and ‘shoot,’ creating a semantic field of a fight, implying how prejudice places people directly against one another, regarding to views on racism, morale and their actions. Correspondingly, Angelou also intertwines vivid imagery within ‘Still I Rise,’ cleverly able to create a striking contrast between past and present. By creating a silhouette of defeat, the voice appears to appeal to the readers’ sensual insight of sight; by the ‘shoulders falling down’ and ‘lowered eyes’ implying failure and perhaps disappointment in regarding brutality of the black past. Alternatively, with the ‘soulful cries’ adding gravitas to this image by the addition of an aural layer, the reader is able to use their senses to not only see the impact of past defeat, but are also able to hear it. This comparison between past and present is further magnified through the personification of the voice having described the ‘Past’ as being ‘rooted in pain.’ This phrase provides human assets to ‘the past,’ which creates a striking contrast of the difficult times with its sufferings and limitations to the great, emotional joys of the future
    Are you still doing Poetry ? Btw this is amazing. Your language is phenomenal - no joke
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    (Original post by lilacpotato)
    I can't believe you are only in year 10! Your language and analysis is so complex!
    One thing, I am unsure about the phrase 'the whites whom are in the wrong' - you may be able to say that but I would probably say 'who are in the wrong' or 'that are in the wrong'...again, I'm not sure


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    Thank-you! Hopefully that is a good thing? Oh, would saying 'whom' be gramamtically incorrect? Also, could you understand the meaning of all of my points and what I was trying to say?
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    (Original post by ?Hannah)
    Thank-you! Hopefully that is a good thing? Oh, would saying 'whom' be gramamtically incorrect? Also, could you understand the meaning of all of my points and what I was trying to say?
    It is a good thing!
    I'm not sure, to me it sounds kinda strange...it may be right!
    They were well explained I thought!


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    (Original post by lilacpotato)
    It is a good thing!
    I'm not sure, to me it sounds kinda strange...it may be right!
    They were well explained I thought!


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    Cheers, the piece of work has been submitted now - so can't change anything...
    The overarching theme of the complete essay was emotions. So, hopefully my paragraphs that I put on here linked to that well. Do you think the paragraphs that I shared did so?
    However, could you possibly delete your messages about the essay where you have quoted my work? Not in a rude way at all - I really appreciate all of your help! But, I just don't want to be plagiarised.
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    (Original post by ?Hannah)
    Cheers, the piece of work has been submitted now - so can't change anything...
    The overarching theme of the complete essay was emotions. So, hopefully my paragraphs that I put on here linked to that well. Do you think the paragraphs that I shared did so?
    However, could you possibly delete your messages about the essay where you have quoted my work? Not in a rude way at all - I really appreciate all of your help! But, I just don't want to be plagiarised.
    Definitely, and you gave alternate interpretations which always get you extra marks!
    Of course I can x


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    (Original post by ?Hannah)
    Cheers, the piece of work has been submitted now - so can't change anything...
    The overarching theme of the complete essay was emotions. So, hopefully my paragraphs that I put on here linked to that well. Do you think the paragraphs that I shared did so?
    However, could you possibly delete your messages about the essay where you have quoted my work? Not in a rude way at all - I really appreciate all of your help! But, I just don't want to be plagiarised.
    How do you delete posts?


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    (Original post by lilacpotato)
    How do you delete posts?


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    also, how was my punctuation?


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    (Original post by ?Hannah)
    also, how was my punctuation?


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    Tbh I can't really remember! Did you use semi colons/colons?


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    (Original post by lilacpotato)
    Tbh I can't really remember! Did you use semi colons/colons?


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    yeah, i did. may you check to see if i have used them correctly in the paragraphs that i posted?
    thank-you!


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    (Original post by ?Hannah)
    yeah, i did. may you check to see if i have used them correctly in the paragraphs that i posted?
    thank-you!


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    I think you used colons well, some of the semi colons were a little unnecessary but I don't think they were necessarily not used correctly! Hope I have been helpful x


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    (Original post by lilacpotato)
    I think you used colons well, some of the semi colons were a little unnecessary but I don't think they were necessarily not used correctly! Hope I have been helpful x


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    thank-you, oh okay - so I used too many semi-colons without needing to? but i used the ones that i included correctly?


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    (Original post by ?Hannah)
    thank-you, oh okay - so I used too many semi-colons without needing to? but i used the ones that i included correctly?


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    I think so I'm no expert!


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    (Original post by lilacpotato)
    I think so I'm no expert!


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    But you are an A* student though!
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    (Original post by ?Hannah)
    But you are an A* student though!
    Let's see!


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    So it's been quite a while since I last posted and I thought I'd better just keep you guys updated. I've just finished a week's work experience (it was AMAZING!!!) and hopefully either tomorrow or Monday will see me returning to doing some studying

    Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying themselves
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    (Original post by brainzistheword)
    So it's been quite a while since I last posted and I thought I'd better just keep you guys updated. I've just finished a week's work experience (it was AMAZING!!!) and hopefully either tomorrow or Monday will see me returning to doing some studying

    Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying themselves
    How are you going to study?


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    (Original post by brainzistheword)
    So it's been quite a while since I last posted and I thought I'd better just keep you guys updated. I've just finished a week's work experience (it was AMAZING!!!) and hopefully either tomorrow or Monday will see me returning to doing some studying

    Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying themselves
    Where are you doing work experience ?
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    (Original post by lilacpotato)
    How are you going to study?


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    I'm probably going to start making flashcards again and just reading around my subjects a lot more
 
 
 
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