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    (Original post by Deyesy)
    Because all of the effort you've put in getting this far would have been for nothing? :/
    but it is for nothing. what do I have to show for the pain I have been through? absolutely nothing. my head is so ill and seems to be getting more ill by the day. this weekend I haven't managed to eat anything but a bit of fruit, haven't left my room, have barely been able to move, haven't done any of the work I was meant to. just lie in bed whilst I sob or shake, or let the internet erode my mind. it's like i'm not even human. there is no point. so consumed by illness and there hasn't been one period in all these years when something has actually gotten better , even temporarily. Not one day where I wake up and things feel mildly okay, not one day where things feel bearable. For the last 18 months/two years I keep feeling like I've hit rock bottom. I try to think about there only being one way, and that is up, but its never true. I always get worse even though it feels like it couldn't possibly. I try and engage with these crap MH professionals who are really the furthest from professional imaginable, while we pick through the **** in my life, only for them to insult, belittle and patronise me, before declaring that they're 'stuck'. I'm done with this. How much more does life want to beat me down? I'm left with nothing but a withered malfunctioning brain which reduces me to a shell of a human. I often struggle to speak, to move, to find enough energy and empathy in my bones to actually try and be anything positive in the world apart from a drain of resources.
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    For me to see the GP at the uni do I have to sign up so they can see all my records etc? Or is there a system where I can just book an appointment to see the GP? Haven't signed up with the docs here at uni yet and I don't know all the details either so it may take me a few days to get it all together and I feel like I want to see them in the next few days at least.
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    (Original post by jelly1000)
    I have to get up at 7 to get a fairly early train to get back tomorrow because it was impossible to get the train back today. I've got some good stuff lined up (as well as reading, reading and more reading) but I dunno if I'll be happy enough to really enjoy it. Going to give it my best.
    All you can do is give it your best! Hopefully you will enjoy it! :hugs:
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    Nice to see triggering content :five:


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    (Original post by PandaWho)
    Nice to see triggering content :five:


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    pm if you need to talk :hugs:
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    (Original post by moment of truth)
    All you can do is give it your best! Hopefully you will enjoy it! :hugs:
    thanks yeah, I'm gonna try. I can feel myself slowly getting worse this evening though :/
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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    pm if you need to talk :hugs:
    Thanks, just grumpy and bkah then the first thing i read on here is triggering...


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    Someone help me and choose a pair for me!

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=327747&stc=1http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=327749&stc=1http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=327751&stc=1http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=327753&stc=1
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    what is the point in living if you feel like this all the time. I just don't know.
    :hugs::hugs::hugs:
    because there is a way out of this, and i do truly believe that hun - things are bloody awful at the moment and nobody is going to deny that for one second, but i do honestly hand on heart believe that you are strong enough to find a way out of this and have an amazing, fulfilling life ahead of you
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    (Original post by purple-duck)
    :hugs: Sorry doctor's didn't go so well you are awesome and so kind - please don't hate yourself - you deserve so much more! :jumphug:


    Spoiler:
    Show
    :hugs: Sorry this weeks been so tough Well done for eating some lunch today. Feeling nauseous isn't fun at all :nope: :jumphug:



    I quite like the look of the heart one What's the meaning behind the blue ribbon? (if you don't mind me asking )

    Hope you get sleep soon :hugs:


    :jumphug: Could you go along with a friend/if a friend took you would that make it any easier?

    I like your idea about the nth term


    Thanks :hugs: Don't apologise! Yeah his flat

    :woo: That is great to hear

    Ah I always end up buying games in the sales and then not playing :sad: Have some star wars games I should probably play soon



    Well done! :hugs:


    Haha, thanks Still need to make a playlist Currently listening to regina spektor


    Could you leave a lamp/light on outside your room or something? Would hopefully go to there then/stay there and not bother you?

    Big :hugs:


    :hugs: About online if you need any help with anything lovely :hugs:


    ------------------------------



    Done nothing today Well, did some stuff online/designed a flyer (sort of) for juggling, and also looked at modules for 30 mins, but nothing else Haven't left house - was meant to go swimming but I ended up missing all the times I would've gone, and then didn't want to go at 8, because I didn't want to be exhausted/when I wanted to be up for a bit longer :dontknow:

    Feel lost and confused and annoyed - and I know sort of what I need to do but for some stupid reason I don't and then gaah

    On the bright side my lego stormtrooper keyring came today

    Sorry for the moan :/




    :hugs: I forgot what the question was sorry. Mind all over. As per always

    Thank you. How are you doing?

    Ah haha. I always get scared of buying off steam, I don't know why. I just hate doing it really. Maybe we could add each other on steam? I don't know.
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    Right just a point guys- if you want to post in here, follow the fecking rules. Stop coming in and posting triggering stuff and then bogging off again. You dont have to deal with the fallout from it- we do. Its NOT on.
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    (Original post by PandaWho)
    Thanks, just grumpy and bkah then the first thing i read on here is triggering...


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    Yeah I know what you mean :sad: Anything in particular on your mind?
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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Yeah I know what you mean :sad: Anything in particular on your mind?
    Seem to be getting ill again i think
    Feel im letting people down because of my illness and dont know how to bring it up with them :sad:
    Then money. Still in this bloody assessment phase of ESA and were so skint its unreal


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    (Original post by PandaWho)
    Seem to be getting ill again i think
    Feel im letting people down because of my illness and dont know how to bring it up with them :sad:
    Then money. Still in this bloody assessment phase of ESA and were so skint its unreal


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    Oh no physically or mentally? You're not letting anyone down. Not your fault you aren't feeling good. When do you come out of the assessment phase? Are there any other benefits you may be able to get? Like PIP?
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    (Original post by Team_McDreamy)
    :hugs::hugs::hugs:
    because there is a way out of this, and i do truly believe that hun - things are bloody awful at the moment and nobody is going to deny that for one second, but i do honestly hand on heart believe that you are strong enough to find a way out of this and have an amazing, fulfilling life ahead of you

    things are always bloody awful, I understand people are saying it will get better to give some hope but I'd rather be realistic about it. I have no evidence that things are going to get better. I'm unresponsive to treatment, I haven't met any MH professional who has a clue what to do, meanwhile they're actually making me worse. the last thing I want is to look back in 50 years time and know that it wasn't worth it. I just don't think I can do this. I don't see any way out of this. I don't think even getting to a stage where I can 'manage' this is going to enough to make it worth it for me any more.
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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Oh no physically or mentally? You're not letting anyone down. Not your fault you aren't feeling good. When do you come out of the assessment phase? Are there any other benefits you may be able to get? Like PIP?
    Mentally. I couldnt make it to guides the other night as my paranoia was awful, and then over slept today when i should have been doing a guiding event. And i just seem to be coming up with excuses rather than the truth.
    We should have come out of the assessment phase 13 weeks after xmas...
    Doubt ill get PIP gonna try get rory to get higher rates though.


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    (Original post by moment of truth)
    For me to see the GP at the uni do I have to sign up so they can see all my records etc? Or is there a system where I can just book an appointment to see the GP? Haven't signed up with the docs here at uni yet and I don't know all the details either so it may take me a few days to get it all together and I feel like I want to see them in the next few days at least.
    you'll need to sign up - they might have forms they want you to fill in about your medical history first
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    have any of you guys ever found out your Meyers-Briggs personality type? i know its a wholly discredited way of measuring somebody's personality but i still find it interesting i'm an INTJ!!

    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    things are always bloody awful, I understand people are saying it will get better to give some hope but I'd rather be realistic about it. I have no evidence that things are going to get better. I'm unresponsive to treatment, I haven't met any MH professional who has a clue what to do, meanwhile they're actually making me worse. the last thing I want is to look back in 50 years time and know that it wasn't worth it. I just don't think I can do this. I don't see any way out of this. I don't think even getting to a stage where I can 'manage' this is going to enough to make it worth it for me any more.
    it's not about having hope though, in my opinion - imo i am being realistic in saying i do believe you will find a way to improve your quality of life. unfortunately I'm not at a point in my career where i could give a suggestion as to what it would be, but i do think you will come out the other side of this and look back in 50 years and realise that you were a heck of a lot stronger than you thought you were
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    Two strange occurrences today. Made a day to see an old friend I fell out with six months ago, and added someone I haven't spoke to in three years on Facebook who we kinda fell out cause of awkwardness. Am I being crazy/stupid here?

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    #16

    (Original post by james1211)
    Two strange occurrences today. Made a day to see an old friend I fell out with six months ago, and added someone I haven't spoke to in three years on Facebook who we kinda fell out cause of awkwardness. Am I being crazy/stupid here?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    No not at all, good on you for healing those bridges!
 
 
 
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