Muslim, Rejected two marriage proposals, Am I very shallow? Watch

Rosie0914
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#41
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#41
Quite ugly, very nerdy?
Sounds like my type.

Anyways - if you don't think it's right, then marriage isn't a good idea.
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MrBigShoes
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#42
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#42
forget your parents
sometimes YOU have to Make your OWN choices

Look after #1 first at all times
If you parents are unhappy that your not prepared to accept a dull life and be married at 20 and become a baby machine then deep down, they dont care about you
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Ghetto_Princess12
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#43
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#43
I don't want to get married at the age of 20, and I certaintly do not want to become a 'baby machine'. I'd like to finish my law degree and find a job then think about marriage
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steed999
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#44
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#44
i reckon this marriage proposal stuff is more down to asian culture rather than islamic. I know many arab, turkish and african muslims and none have ever had a marriage proposal that young, however i know many asians where it has happened.
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Soulless Beauty
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#45
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#45
LOLLOL you're only 20 as well

I know 2 muslim girls who were forced to marry some random hairy asian dudes at 17 :-/
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CombineHarvester
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#46
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#46
Find someone you like and feels the same about you and then ask him to meet your parents. That way your parents can have their say but you'd be happy with it as well.
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~The Mixed Race Girl~
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#47
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#47
girl, ur find sum1 thats deserves u im sure! ur still young so dont worry!!! its better to take time choosing a partner then marrying in a rush when u dont like them!
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Glutamic Acid
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#48
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#48
Yes, yet you are but human.
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Ghetto_Princess12
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#49
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#49
(Original post by ~The Mixed Race Girl~)
girl, ur find sum1 thats deserves u im sure! ur still young so dont worry!!! its better to take time choosing a partner then marrying in a rush when u dont like them!
Aww thank you :p: :p: I'm in no rush
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mbutt91
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#50
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#50
your not shallow!
your just looking for the perfect life partner!
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Nizzay!
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#51
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#51
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah The two guys have seen, I am not attracted to them at all, they are not the type of guys that if I saw at a party or an event they would catch my eye..
As a Muslim, my parents prefer and want me to get an arranged marriage...so lets get married yeah? :awesome:
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Cheeko
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#52
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#52
(Original post by rupertj)
Forgive me for not being able to provide the exact quotation, but there is a Hadith in which the Prophet (pbuh) says that before marrying someone you are permitted to meet them (of course in the presence of a Mahrem) to see whether you are attracted to something in them. If you aren't, it's obviously unwise to intend to spend the rest of your life with them.
This..
I was going to say the exact same thing..
So no your not shallow..
You need that spark and attraction!
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~The Mixed Race Girl~
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#53
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#53
(Original post by Ghetto_Princess12)
Aww thank you :p: :p: I'm in no rush
looool
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tazarooni89
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#54
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#54
(Original post by sokissme18)
no i don't think it's wrong.
i might sound stupid but i didn't know you could reject arranged marriages!
You can - especially if you're a Muslim, since Islam considers forced marriages to be completely invalid.
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BLACK N WHITE
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#55
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#55
(Original post by Anonymous)
Well basically, I'm 20 years old and I am a muslim. I've had two marriage proposals arranged by my parents, they have come from very good, respectful and rich families. However the problem is that whilst I am willing to accept the proposal, the guys always been quite ugly very nerdy, and I've never been attracted to them at all. I know personality always comes first and it's the most important thing to look at, but that doesn't mean I should discard other factors that make us attracted to each other. So I would like some advice, I feel quite bad in rejecting the proposals, but I dont want to live my life feeling miserable, so do you think I am shallow, and do you think it is wrong for a girl to reject a guy because apparently she does not like his physical appearance?
i know people whove rejected over more than 10-15 serious no joke and are now happy with many children it si fate dont get disappointed u must feel relaxed with the person
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zircom
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#56
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#56
(Original post by Ghetto_Princess12)
I don't want to get married at the age of 20, and I certaintly do not want to become a 'baby machine'. I'd like to finish my law degree and find a job then think about marriage
Dont rush. Take your time
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kaka-ayyyyy
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#57
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#57
as long as you don't have ridiculously high standards, why not reject, but remember most of the good looking muslim guys are f*** abouts, so if you're going for looks, they gonna be lacking elsewhere..up to you though
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archlord destin
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#58
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#58
Marry for love.
Not because of money or anything like that.
I know its how muslims do things but these are modern times. You can make your own descision.
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IWantSomeMushu
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#59
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#59
Get your own damn wife!
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sabrina_spellman
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#60
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#60
I think personality is much more important than looks, as looks fade, but personality stays the same throughout.
I have this aunt who married someone who is not that good looking at all, really short, ugly etc, and my dad actually cried on my aunts wedding at the fact that his beautiful sister was marrying someone soo ugly, but twenty years later they are reallyyy happy, and still together, unlike my dad's other sister who married someone who was really good looking, but he just cheats on my aunt loadss and now they're getting a divorce.
I know this is just one story, but looks do fade, and all anyone can talk about is how happy my 1st aunt is and how good her husband is and how well he treats her etc.
The man my 1st aunt married probobly isnt even attractive on anyyyy degree scale, but i do think it is still important to have maybe 1 degree of attractiveness out of a scale of like 10.
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