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Boyfriend won't sleep with me watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in a bit of a muddle - I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now and we've realised that we're in love with each other but he refuses to have sex with me, even if we do something other than kiss he regrets it afterwards, saying that we're not mature enough. It's frustrating and i'm fed up of feeling guilty every time i want to show how much i care, is this an understandable reason to break up with someone or am i being really selfish?
    its cos ur butterz
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    (Original post by sarah_22_16)
    If OP was a guy they would be getting so much more stick right now. Strange huh
    Maybe, but not from me, and I don't see why she should be with someone who isn't mature enough for her, if she doesn't wish to be, either. It's fine if he doesn't want sex, but if they have conflicting interests, and it's a big issue for them, they shouldn't keep going getting more and more frustrated with each other, that just ain't gonna be good. No one should be yoked to someone with whom they have strong disagreements -- the situation with him pressurising her not to have sex is completely analagous to her pressuring him into sex.
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    He has, what are called STANDARDS.
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    that fool!
    how can he miss such an opportunity
    I would have done you 10 times, if not a 100 times over.
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    #3

    maybe you're not attractive enough lol
    but other than that...a guy reluctant to have sex?? quite impressive
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    You should respect his feelings, if it was the other way around and he was pressuring you people would tell you to dump him. If you truely love him you would understand he doesn't want sex at the moment and you wouldn't put him in this situation. Talk to him and find out why he doesn't want to take the next step in your relationship. If you can not wait for him to be fully ready then maybe it would be kinder to end the relationship, I can understand your frustrations but making someone you care about feel uncomfortable is pretty low IMO.
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    (Original post by Consilio Et Animis)
    Get him drunk and voila!
    I like!!! :yes:
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    (Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
    Do you have a cold?

    And if you really believe the stuff you read online, I worry for your sub-standard intelligence.
    Freshers' Flu.

    I don't actually believe all that ********. I was jesting.
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    Sounds like he's a bumder
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    um...talk to him?
    Sex is important (if your sex drive is un-compatible then the relationship may not work) but it's not EVERYTHING. like I said, talk to him. Discuss. It's that simple.
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    (Original post by sarah_22_16)
    If OP was a guy they would be getting so much more stick right now. Strange huh
    I don't think so tbh. Mainly because of the reason he gave - "we're not mature enough" isn't the same as "I'm not ready". OP, maybe you should ask him to clarify? If he's not ready then you shouldn't pressure him, but if he's making weird judgments about maturity then ... well, I don't know. I don't really understand it tbh. Be nice to him about it but at least have a proper, in-depth discussion.
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    Perhaps he has a chode.
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    anyone said cos you're ugly?
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    (Original post by AustralAlien)
    Perhaps he has a chode.
    rofl
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    I had this problem with my ex, I talked about it with him and waited over a year. Couldn't wait any longer so I dumped him (not just because of that but it made it easier to walk away) We obviously had different interests and the whole thing was getting too boring.
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    Is he devoutly religious and this is contrary to his beliefs? Is he gay? Does he have a secret relationship with someone else? Does he have any STIs? Does he simply not find you attractive? Does he have ...errr confidence issues about himself?

    This may sound cringe-worthy, but I'd recommend writing him a letter asking him these questions or any other concerns making it clear that you are confused why he's acting the way he is, and only want to understand (in the nicest way possible).
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    If this was reversed and it was a boy whining there wouldn't even be a discussion. Doing anything would be very discourteous.
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    boohoo and all that. get over it, if you like each other it will happen.
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    Your both twenty and he thinks you're not mature enough to have sex?
    I'd tell him GTFO personally. (Well if in my case her, but you know what I mean ;D)
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    (Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
    How is expecting sex expecting 'too much'. It's kinda assumed once you get over 18... OP is hardly being needy, she just has needs. I'd be pretty frustrated tbh.
    Er, no it's not assumed. People sexually mature at different times and different rates. Just because he's a guy doesn't mean he should be "expected" to have sex after the age of 18.
 
 
 
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