It’s my nineteenth birthday and I’m all alone. Watch

Craig_D
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#41
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#41
(Original post by OhNO!)
It doesn't, but you said the OP should be content with her life. SHE's said that she doesn't really do anything with her time. I think that's a waste.
True, but I also said to concentrate on her goals instead.
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Dante786
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#42
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Its my 19th birthday too today, Im revising at home.

Meh its not too bad.
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juststeven
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#43
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#43
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m female, it’s my nineteenth and I feel so ******* depressed. I’ve been feeling like this since I left college last year. My college messed my CW so I had to take a gap year for them to re-submit it in the summer and then I have to take another gap year to self-study another a level because my college messed up one of my A levels – it’s a long story but it basically means I won’t go out to university until I’m 21.

On my 15th and 16th I had GCSE exams, my 17th and 18th A Level exams - the curse of being a summer baby so I never really celebrated my birthdays but I didn’t mind because I knew exams were much more important than stupid birthdays and there were always occasions after college and that’s when the real fun starts . Lo and behold it’s my nineteenth and I have nobody with me. After I left college in summer 2009 I have became a recluse I never go out – partly because I have no job, no money and partly because I made no college friends (I was very much alone at college, found it difficult to click with some of them). In the last 12months I’ve only been out the house about 20/30 times. I only have one friend my best friend since primary school but she left in October for a job miles away – now I never get to see her because of the hours she works (she’s a trainee chef – so her hours are insane). The last time I saw her was two months ago.

I thought I’d be able to handle it but when my family gave my presents earlier today it hit me how alone I am. Most teenagers would receive their presents and then get ready for the highlight of their day – going out with their friends. The highlight of the day for me was my presents and a cake which lasted all but half an hour after which everybody departed ways and I went back to my bedroom. I feel like I have wasted my youth doing jack ****.
I feel so lonely when I hear stories of people going out travelling with their mates or doing something with their lives on facebook, I just want to cry because I’m stuck in this ******** doing nothing. Day in day out I do the same repetitive **** and it just makes me want to scream so loudly, scream till I go blue in the face. I’m trying to change this unhealthy lifestyle but because I have no money I’m restricted to the odd cinema trip here or something like that. What I want more than anything is some friends I could just visit and chill with, some friends of my own age that I could just be myself with. I’m sick and tired of seeing the same faces day in day out. The only sibling I have is my sister who is 6 years older than me. I never really see her she works 9 – 5 Mon to Fri and then at the weekend she off the see her long distant boy friend. The times when I do speak to her she’s always banging on about her perfect boyfriend and the things she’s done while away on her trips, on and on and on and on she goes and I have to listen. As much as I love her it just makes me want to shoot them both.

My friend keeps reassuring me that everything will be good when I go to university but I don’t think I’ll be able to stick this out for two years. Sometimes I wake up thinking that it could be worse and that’s how I try and keep motivated other days I just can’t help but feel sad. Living like this is not healthy for me.

I just feel so ******* lost and i don’t know what to do
I must say that you may be in Avoidant Personality Disorder. You say that "I feel so lonely when I hear stories of people going out travelling with their mates or doing something with their lives on facebook". So you must Overcome the barriers of interpersonal communication.
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bananabrain
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m female, it’s my nineteenth and I feel so ******* depressed. I’ve been feeling like this since I left college last year. My college messed my CW so I had to take a gap year for them to re-submit it in the summer and then I have to take another gap year to self-study another a level because my college messed up one of my A levels – it’s a long story but it basically means I won’t go out to university until I’m 21.

On my 15th and 16th I had GCSE exams, my 17th and 18th A Level exams - the curse of being a summer baby so I never really celebrated my birthdays but I didn’t mind because I knew exams were much more important than stupid birthdays and there were always occasions after college and that’s when the real fun starts . Lo and behold it’s my nineteenth and I have nobody with me. After I left college in summer 2009 I have became a recluse I never go out – partly because I have no job, no money and partly because I made no college friends (I was very much alone at college, found it difficult to click with some of them). In the last 12months I’ve only been out the house about 20/30 times. I only have one friend my best friend since primary school but she left in October for a job miles away – now I never get to see her because of the hours she works (she’s a trainee chef – so her hours are insane). The last time I saw her was two months ago.

I thought I’d be able to handle it but when my family gave my presents earlier today it hit me how alone I am. Most teenagers would receive their presents and then get ready for the highlight of their day – going out with their friends. The highlight of the day for me was my presents and a cake which lasted all but half an hour after which everybody departed ways and I went back to my bedroom. I feel like I have wasted my youth doing jack ****.
I feel so lonely when I hear stories of people going out travelling with their mates or doing something with their lives on facebook, I just want to cry because I’m stuck in this ******** doing nothing. Day in day out I do the same repetitive **** and it just makes me want to scream so loudly, scream till I go blue in the face. I’m trying to change this unhealthy lifestyle but because I have no money I’m restricted to the odd cinema trip here or something like that. What I want more than anything is some friends I could just visit and chill with, some friends of my own age that I could just be myself with. I’m sick and tired of seeing the same faces day in day out. The only sibling I have is my sister who is 6 years older than me. I never really see her she works 9 – 5 Mon to Fri and then at the weekend she off the see her long distant boy friend. The times when I do speak to her she’s always banging on about her perfect boyfriend and the things she’s done while away on her trips, on and on and on and on she goes and I have to listen. As much as I love her it just makes me want to shoot them both.

My friend keeps reassuring me that everything will be good when I go to university but I don’t think I’ll be able to stick this out for two years. Sometimes I wake up thinking that it could be worse and that’s how I try and keep motivated other days I just can’t help but feel sad. Living like this is not healthy for me.

I just feel so ******* lost and i don’t know what to do
Happy birthday. I agree with a lot of people on here, try and get a part time job because you'll get to know new people and get to go out more often in the evenings and stuff, particularly on people's birthdays, or when other people are leaving. If you can't get a paid job, do some volunteering , because that will get you some experience and you'll meet people there as well. Like a lot of people have mentioned, volunteering abroad would be a good idea, as it will take you out of your comfort zone, and you may feel completely different just by not being in the same place, let alone meeting all of the other people (plus it will give you something to talk about to people when you get back as well and when you go to uni, and will get you away from Facebook). With all of the people who've said you can email them on here, why not do that, get chatting to people online as well. Obviously it's not the same as talking to new people in reality, but it might make you feel a bit better.
Happy birthday
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ididthis4u
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#45
All you need to do is remember this:

When opportunities arise, take them.

I have missed out on so much because I didn't take the opportunities, I was scared to take them. I have no friends and haven't spoken to another human in nearly two weeks. I don't know anyone. I don't do anything. I have wasted all my teenage years and I hate myself for it. I feel like I'll never get it back and I don't want to do anything at all now. Make sure you take every opportunity you can, and you'll live without regrets.
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crazyspacemonkey
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You have two years out so make the most of them. Work, save up money, travel, learn a language, get fit, take up photography, learn how to play the harmonica, do some volunteering. Seriously there are so many ways you can make the most of your time, and a lot of them will introduce you to like minded people. You'll need at least a part time job as almost every thing costs money in one way or another, but that in itself will introduce you to more people. A lot of people don't have a great time at school/college because it's a period of teenage angst and playing to other people's perceptions. You have a great opportunity to figure out what it is you really like to do, and what you want from university as well.

And as far as the screaming goes, go out to a big open field or the woods and do it. Just scream your ******* lungs out. It feels awesome.
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TsarinaMeg
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:jumphug:

PM me if you want to chat. About anything at all. And HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY!!!!!!

xx
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.44_Magnum
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#48
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(Original post by OhNO!)
Living like that isn't healthy for you. You've just turned nineteen, you're young, you have no responsibility or commitment. Go and DO something! Your college have clearly screwed up, but don't think of it like that - this could be a massive opportunity for you. Go and work in America or Australia or Canada for a few months. Go and work at a ski resort. Go and live on a kibbutz. Go and work grape-picking in the South of France.

What do you want to do? Nothing's impossible. You have one A-Level to complete, that's not going to take you two years - buckle down, get it done quickly and then go and do whatever the hell you want. I'd love to have two years right now where I had no concrete plans - that's an amazing position to be in, in so many ways.
Can one just go and live on a Kibbutz?
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BritishGirl
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m female, it’s my nineteenth and I feel so ******* depressed. I’ve been feeling like this since I left college last year. My college messed my CW so I had to take a gap year for them to re-submit it in the summer and then I have to take another gap year to self-study another a level because my college messed up one of my A levels – it’s a long story but it basically means I won’t go out to university until I’m 21.

On my 15th and 16th I had GCSE exams, my 17th and 18th A Level exams - the curse of being a summer baby so I never really celebrated my birthdays but I didn’t mind because I knew exams were much more important than stupid birthdays and there were always occasions after college and that’s when the real fun starts . Lo and behold it’s my nineteenth and I have nobody with me. After I left college in summer 2009 I have became a recluse I never go out – partly because I have no job, no money and partly because I made no college friends (I was very much alone at college, found it difficult to click with some of them). In the last 12months I’ve only been out the house about 20/30 times. I only have one friend my best friend since primary school but she left in October for a job miles away – now I never get to see her because of the hours she works (she’s a trainee chef – so her hours are insane). The last time I saw her was two months ago.

I thought I’d be able to handle it but when my family gave my presents earlier today it hit me how alone I am. Most teenagers would receive their presents and then get ready for the highlight of their day – going out with their friends. The highlight of the day for me was my presents and a cake which lasted all but half an hour after which everybody departed ways and I went back to my bedroom. I feel like I have wasted my youth doing jack ****.
I feel so lonely when I hear stories of people going out travelling with their mates or doing something with their lives on facebook, I just want to cry because I’m stuck in this ******** doing nothing. Day in day out I do the same repetitive **** and it just makes me want to scream so loudly, scream till I go blue in the face. I’m trying to change this unhealthy lifestyle but because I have no money I’m restricted to the odd cinema trip here or something like that. What I want more than anything is some friends I could just visit and chill with, some friends of my own age that I could just be myself with. I’m sick and tired of seeing the same faces day in day out. The only sibling I have is my sister who is 6 years older than me. I never really see her she works 9 – 5 Mon to Fri and then at the weekend she off the see her long distant boy friend. The times when I do speak to her she’s always banging on about her perfect boyfriend and the things she’s done while away on her trips, on and on and on and on she goes and I have to listen. As much as I love her it just makes me want to shoot them both.

My friend keeps reassuring me that everything will be good when I go to university but I don’t think I’ll be able to stick this out for two years. Sometimes I wake up thinking that it could be worse and that’s how I try and keep motivated other days I just can’t help but feel sad. Living like this is not healthy for me.

I just feel so ******* lost and i don’t know what to do
I feel exactly the same. College has also ruined my career prospects - well...sort of but its not a major thing. Its just my maths that they didn't bother.

Anyway I'm studying at college and I'm doing quite well. I want to study languages at University (preferably Nottingham Trent) and I'm applying for it next year. :yep: Anyway if you make a very good effort by joining clubs or go out then you'll bound to find some friends. :p: If I do get accepted at university, I'm thinking of living in the halls so that I can hope in meeting new people. I'm fed up of being with my mum and dad. My friend is in the same situation. She has no job, her career prospects are totally ruined and shes older than me (shes 29) and she looks 18 (I'm 19). She always goes out with her mum constantly and she has no friends at all (well apart from her boyfriend). And theres a girl in my class thats similar to her, except she's 17, and yet she dresses like a 7 year old and no one in our class likes her. Everyone's on the urge of deleting her on their Facebook (so am I) because she is so random and she's very weird, she talks to herself. And the worst thing is, shes going to see Lady Gaga - with her 60 year old dad! :eek: I mean I want to go to a concert, but not with my 57 year old dad and my 54 year old mum do I, I mean would you? :p:

Anyway, I'm 19 too and my advice is just be more active and go out to nightclubs or social groups more, then you will be able to make more friends.
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hali0112
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m female, it’s my nineteenth and I feel so ******* depressed. I’ve been feeling like this since I left college last year. My college messed my CW so I had to take a gap year for them to re-submit it in the summer and then I have to take another gap year to self-study another a level because my college messed up one of my A levels – it’s a long story but it basically means I won’t go out to university until I’m 21.

On my 15th and 16th I had GCSE exams, my 17th and 18th A Level exams - the curse of being a summer baby so I never really celebrated my birthdays but I didn’t mind because I knew exams were much more important than stupid birthdays and there were always occasions after college and that’s when the real fun starts . Lo and behold it’s my nineteenth and I have nobody with me. After I left college in summer 2009 I have became a recluse I never go out – partly because I have no job, no money and partly because I made no college friends (I was very much alone at college, found it difficult to click with some of them). In the last 12months I’ve only been out the house about 20/30 times. I only have one friend my best friend since primary school but she left in October for a job miles away – now I never get to see her because of the hours she works (she’s a trainee chef – so her hours are insane). The last time I saw her was two months ago.

I thought I’d be able to handle it but when my family gave my presents earlier today it hit me how alone I am. Most teenagers would receive their presents and then get ready for the highlight of their day – going out with their friends. The highlight of the day for me was my presents and a cake which lasted all but half an hour after which everybody departed ways and I went back to my bedroom. I feel like I have wasted my youth doing jack ****.
I feel so lonely when I hear stories of people going out travelling with their mates or doing something with their lives on facebook, I just want to cry because I’m stuck in this ******** doing nothing. Day in day out I do the same repetitive **** and it just makes me want to scream so loudly, scream till I go blue in the face. I’m trying to change this unhealthy lifestyle but because I have no money I’m restricted to the odd cinema trip here or something like that. What I want more than anything is some friends I could just visit and chill with, some friends of my own age that I could just be myself with. I’m sick and tired of seeing the same faces day in day out. The only sibling I have is my sister who is 6 years older than me. I never really see her she works 9 – 5 Mon to Fri and then at the weekend she off the see her long distant boy friend. The times when I do speak to her she’s always banging on about her perfect boyfriend and the things she’s done while away on her trips, on and on and on and on she goes and I have to listen. As much as I love her it just makes me want to shoot them both.

My friend keeps reassuring me that everything will be good when I go to university but I don’t think I’ll be able to stick this out for two years. Sometimes I wake up thinking that it could be worse and that’s how I try and keep motivated other days I just can’t help but feel sad. Living like this is not healthy for me.

I just feel so ******* lost and i don’t know what to do
happy birthday! watch a film today. get a dvd, your favourite take away and popcorn and watch a feel good film. this will make you feel better even if its just for a little while. you shouldn't feel down on your birthday!
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vn2009
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m female, it’s my nineteenth and I feel so ******* depressed. I’ve been feeling like this since I left college last year. My college messed my CW so I had to take a gap year for them to re-submit it in the summer and then I have to take another gap year to self-study another a level because my college messed up one of my A levels – it’s a long story but it basically means I won’t go out to university until I’m 21.

On my 15th and 16th I had GCSE exams, my 17th and 18th A Level exams - the curse of being a summer baby so I never really celebrated my birthdays but I didn’t mind because I knew exams were much more important than stupid birthdays and there were always occasions after college and that’s when the real fun starts . Lo and behold it’s my nineteenth and I have nobody with me. After I left college in summer 2009 I have became a recluse I never go out – partly because I have no job, no money and partly because I made no college friends (I was very much alone at college, found it difficult to click with some of them). In the last 12months I’ve only been out the house about 20/30 times. I only have one friend my best friend since primary school but she left in October for a job miles away – now I never get to see her because of the hours she works (she’s a trainee chef – so her hours are insane). The last time I saw her was two months ago.

I thought I’d be able to handle it but when my family gave my presents earlier today it hit me how alone I am. Most teenagers would receive their presents and then get ready for the highlight of their day – going out with their friends. The highlight of the day for me was my presents and a cake which lasted all but half an hour after which everybody departed ways and I went back to my bedroom. I feel like I have wasted my youth doing jack ****.
I feel so lonely when I hear stories of people going out travelling with their mates or doing something with their lives on facebook, I just want to cry because I’m stuck in this ******** doing nothing. Day in day out I do the same repetitive **** and it just makes me want to scream so loudly, scream till I go blue in the face. I’m trying to change this unhealthy lifestyle but because I have no money I’m restricted to the odd cinema trip here or something like that. What I want more than anything is some friends I could just visit and chill with, some friends of my own age that I could just be myself with. I’m sick and tired of seeing the same faces day in day out. The only sibling I have is my sister who is 6 years older than me. I never really see her she works 9 – 5 Mon to Fri and then at the weekend she off the see her long distant boy friend. The times when I do speak to her she’s always banging on about her perfect boyfriend and the things she’s done while away on her trips, on and on and on and on she goes and I have to listen. As much as I love her it just makes me want to shoot them both.

My friend keeps reassuring me that everything will be good when I go to university but I don’t think I’ll be able to stick this out for two years. Sometimes I wake up thinking that it could be worse and that’s how I try and keep motivated other days I just can’t help but feel sad. Living like this is not healthy for me.

I just feel so ******* lost and i don’t know what to do
:grouphugs: Happy Birthday

If you ever want to chat to someone, pm me
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OhNO!
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(Original post by .44_Magnum)
Can one just go and live on a Kibbutz?
you can't just go and live on one if you're not part of that Jewish community - but it's fairly easy to organize to volunteer and work for a few months.
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spider164
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so what, a birthday is just another day closer to your death
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~Kat~
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My eighteenth was that way and my nineteenth is looking out to be the same :sigh:
This year I think I'll just send a message round to everyone I'm remotely friendly with and if they don't come then fuck the barstards :mfing:
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SunderX
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I'm 20 and I graduate in a month. My birthday was about 2 months ago.

To give the opposite perspective, I sometimes think that I should have taken a gap year or two. University seems to have whizzed by, but for a lot of it I just didn't feel the sense of purpose or place I have now. I honestly think that I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more if I had the maturity of a year abroad or working to root myself.

You should seize this opportunity to experience life independently before being thrust into the bubbly cesspool - go and do something that you can feel good about in two years, something that the people who go straight in can't claim at all.
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Anonymous #1
#56
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#56
(Original post by ~Kat~)
My eighteenth was that way and my nineteenth is looking out to be the same :sigh:
This year I think I'll just send a message round to everyone I'm remotely friendly with and if they don't come then fuck the barstards :mfing:
nice way of getting past the swear filter lol.
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Anonymous #1
#57
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#57
I just want to say thanks to all those who posted I feel so much better already. I feel a bit embarrassed for posting it because I was in such a bad place last night.

But I'm definitely going to make some changes. I’ve just been of the phone to my best friend and we’re arranging a girly weekend on Sat and Sun. As for doing something with my life – I’ve decided applying for 3 month year abroad programme for October my grandparents are willing to give me a bit of money for it. I’m still applying for a job so hopefully ill get one in the few months.

I really appreciate the advice you have all given me. It’s opened my eyes to what I can do.

I feel embarrassed for even feeling sorry for myself in the first time. But I’m going to do it. I’ve already joined the gym so that’s a start I suppose. And tomorrow I’m going to sort out a self study Alevel I can do and finally get the ball rolling.

I’m just really hoping I got a job in the next few months – but I refuse to feel sorry for myself.

And to the guy who said friends mean nothing - that’s not true. I’ve just spoken to my friend on the phone and she made me feel better within seconds. Friends really now how to make you feel better, they’re there for you.
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CTanner90
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I'm really glad your feeling alot better about everything hun x.
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.44_Magnum
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(Original post by OhNO!)
you can't just go and live on one if you're not part of that Jewish community - but it's fairly easy to organize to volunteer and work for a few months.
Any more info, have you done the volunteering part (and can you if you're not Jewish)? PM me
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~flutterby~
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Well done, you're doing the right things Things will look up in no time, and don't feel too embarrassed - obviously it is a little embarrassing, but its COMPLETELY understandable. Ignore the people who were saying you're being ungrateful, its a depressing situation to be in.

And I agree that friends do wonders for your mood and ability to cope with bad times, not random drink buddies but real friends and family. Some might think they don't need it, but it goes against the nature of being human not to crave affection and support from other humans, even just one or two xxx
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