My boyfriend wants me to give it up. What to do? Watch

*Rouge*
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#41
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#41
(Original post by I Love Dog)
It's just as unfair to expect a guy to stay in a sexless relationship when he wants to have sex as it is to expect a girl who doesn't want to have sex with her boyfriend to do so.
I agree but I don't think that OP should just give it up to make him happy. She should let him go so he can get it elsewhwere.
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Neil_K
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#42
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#42
(Original post by *Rouge*)
Firstly, calling me a 'douche' is so unnecessary and secondly, a relationship doesn't NEED sex to function - if a guy liked a girl enough he'd respect the fact that she doesn't wan't to have sex.
HAHAHAHA....It amazes me that some people on these forums supposedly have 'boyfriends' or 'girlfriends' but are not having sex with them.

I am STAGGERED to see all this bull being written that 'sex doesn't matter in a relationship' and 'I've been with my bf/gf for 8 months and we've not had sex yet'.

Jesus, this isn't kindergarten or primary school for God sake. The thing that separates FRIENDS from LOVERS is sex and sexual attraction for one another.

I don't buy into this bull that you can be bf and gf without having sex. Geez, some of you guys on here sound about 12 or something.

Seriously, WHY are people together with a member of the opposite sex if they're not sexually attracted to them and not having sex? That's a bit like buying yourself a chocolate cake and putting it on your table, but then deciding not to eat it.

Jesus people, you really do need to wake up or grow up. You're NOT 'bf and gf' if there's no sex. Did you get together so you could 'hold hands' and have a quick snog behind the bike sheds or something? I just can't believe what I'm reading here sometimes, it is just ridiculous.

I've already discussed this subject VERY THOROUGHLY in another post, so read my replies to following post >>> http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1268306
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*Rouge*
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#43
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#43
(Original post by BeanofJelly)
No that's not what I'm saying at all. Of course it is her choice.

But is unreasonable to expect him to be unhappy about that choice. It's also his choice to leave, he's not obliged to be in a relationship with her.

It would be disrespectful to insult her for not wanting to lose "it", it would be disrespectful for him to be cruel about it, but it isn't disrespectful to tell her how he feels, and what is going to realistically happen.

It is quite normal to desire sex in a relationship. Obviously she has the choice, but so does he, and for him the choice might be to move on. There's nothing wrong in that, it's the same how people sometimes move on partners who refuse to marry them, or refuse to have children with them, or refuse to move to the same place, or refuse to see their parents, or anything - it's just that they want different things.

Nobody is in the wrong, of course it's her right, but her boyfriend is not some sort of criminal for not being happy about her decision.
Yeah of course he's not wrong for wanting sex but if he doesn't want to be in a sex free relationship then maybe they're not right for each other :confused:
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rainbowbex
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#44
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#44
Try something in between first...... Seriously... why would you go straight to sex..

'made out in underwear' seriously?! Can't you try being a bit more touchy feely / oral first?

and don't do it, you clearly doing it for the wrong reasons if you do and it's not something you wanna regret xx
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*Rouge*
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#45
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#45
(Original post by Neil_K)
HAHAHAHA....It amazes me that some people on these forums supposedly have 'boyfriends' or 'girlfriends' but are not having sex with them.

I am STAGGERED to see all this bull being written that 'sex doesn't matter in a relationship' and 'I've been with my bf/gf for 8 months and we've not had sex yet'.

Jesus, this isn't kindergarten or primary school for God sake. The thing that separates FRIENDS from LOVERS is sex and sexual attraction for one another.

I don't buy into this bull that you can be bf and gf without having sex. Geez, some of you guys on here sound about 12 or something.

Seriously, WHY are people together with a member of the opposite sex if they're not sexually attracted to them and not having sex? That's a bit like buying yourself a chocolate cake and putting it on your table, but then deciding not to eat it.

Jesus people, you really do need to wake up or grow up. You're NOT 'bf and gf' if there's no sex. Did you get together so you could 'hold hands' and have a quick snog behind the bike sheds or something? I just can't believe what I'm reading here sometimes, it is just ridiculous.

I've already discussed this subject VERY THOROUGHLY in another post, so read my replies to following post >>> http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1268306
wow you obviously feel quite strongly about this but surely you can understand why somebody wants to wait to lose thier virginity.
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overtherainbow
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#46
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#46
(Original post by I Love Dog)
I hate the implication that only men have sex drives.
but in this case the girl in question is choosing to repress any desire she has to have sex so in that relationship it is only the guy! though i admit in most cases girls are as bad as guys even if they dont admit it
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I Love Dog
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#47
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#47
(Original post by *Rouge*)
I agree but I don't think that OP should just give it up to make him happy. She should let him go so he can get it elsewhwere.
Yeah so we actually agree. I don't think anyone should ever have sex just in order to please another person, but at the same time if someone wants to have sex they shouldn't be vilified for leaving someone who doesn't.
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I Love Dog
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#48
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#48
(Original post by overtherainbow)
but in this case the girl in question is choosing to repress any desire she has to have sex so in that relationship it is only the guy! though i admit in most cases girls are as bad as guys even if they dont admit it
Oh sure I took it to be a general implication though. And don't say "as bad as", sex is great.
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RollerBall
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#49
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#49
He should have left yo ass 8 months ago.
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xRoseberryx
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#50
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#50
Well at the end of the day, you have to make the decision which YOU will be happy with for the rest of your life...whether he's around or not. I'd ideally like to be in a loving, close relationship before I "give it up". Is that what you want? Or are you sure it has to be pretty certain you will marry...cos thats going to require more than 8 months...
Is the marriage thing even that realistic? Because there is the whole concept or a "test drive" *cringe*. So it might well be an idea just to be happy losing it to a guy you have a connection with. Hopefully, thats what'll happen for me! Good luck!
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Meh.
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#51
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#51
You should not give it up just because he wants it. But at the same time, you shouldn't expect him to wait until engagement (and at 8 months, that's ridiculous to even consider)... I'm a girl and I fully admit I wouldn't be with someone who doesn't want sex before marriage, and it's not a matter of respect; I would never force him, but he can't expect me to hang around for potentially nothing either.

Did you guys not talk about this beforehand?
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humidex7
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#52
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#52
(Original post by *Rouge*)
how the hell is her relationship 'messed up' because they're not having sex?!:confused:

Seconded. Couldn't do it myself but who are you to judge!
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tkwan196
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#53
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#53
do it!
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sweeter than a cherry pie
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#54
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#54
(Original post by Neil_K)
8 months and no sex? Waiting until marriage to have sex? Jesus, that is just ridiculous. I could right a long reply, but I can't be bothered. I just shake my head at the ridiculousness of some of the posts I see here and how messed up people's 'relationships' are...
:shh: Quiet, you. :dry:
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Neil_K
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#55
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#55
(Original post by sweeter than a cherry pie)
:shh: Quiet, you. :dry:
Lmao...stalking me already just because I ranked you among the top 10 sexiest looking girls on TSR, haha :-)
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Anonymous #3
#56
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#56
Wait Till Marriage....have Some Sharam!
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Roobagnall
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#57
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#57
It I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times.

**** him off.
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sweeter than a cherry pie
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#58
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#58
(Original post by Neil_K)
Lmao...stalking me already just because I ranked you among the top 10 sexiest looking girls on TSR, haha :-)
Oh hey, it's you! Didn't actually realise. :p: Commented because I disapproved of your post. Tut tut.
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Doyle&TheFourFathers
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#59
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#59
stick to what you believe in

...and be prepared for your boyfriend to leave you.
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zjs
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#60
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#60
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

(Ooh give you up)
(Ooh give you up)
(Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give
(give you up)
(Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give
(give you up)

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
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