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Lack of sex in r/s so I'm looking at other men watch

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    rape him :P nahh just keep giving subtle hints to him that you want more, he'll soon catch on xx
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    (Original post by Mann18)
    So, within the first 10 posts you've had a decision tree laid out for you.
    You said you'd never cheat on him, yet the thread title says exactly that.

    So, time to **** or get off the pot, you won't find an answer from anyone here about what you should do with YOUR life.

    :gunfire: I don't know why, but I love that smiley.
    Looking at other men is classed as cheating?
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    (Original post by Rolls eyes)
    Why would he get involved with someone who weren't compatible with him in bed? Either he's cheating or watching too much porn. If this was the other way around, the comments would be "she needs to adjust, or else he's gonna go somewhere else to get it", not "she thinks you're crap in bed".

    Talk to him and say you can't live like this.
    I don't mind my other half watching porn (which he only does occasionally as he only has his phone and not a computer), but we've had a recent lack of sex and the reason why is completely eluding me!

    Very annoying.

    BTW - do you think he'd actually prefer to w**k than have sex? He never used to seem to!?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Looking at other men is classed as cheating?
    That's not what is implied is it?
    Literally, it's fine, but it sounds as though you're "looking for sex with other men."
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am extremely open minded. I wear alot of sexy underware and enjoy dressing up etc I believe in trying everything once and all that. So I really don't think that is the answer. I make an effort all the time. Dress nice, clean and always make an effort to look good.

    (I'd even consider the threesome if he wanted)
    maybe you lake the ability to be spontanius?
    excitment can come from more than just position and what your wearing...
    hell i've done it onto of a motorway bridge amongst other places.

    on the other hand you could just try going on holiday som where quiet with him and having some fun!

    i went to Stratford upon-avon with my better half and i think i left the hotel room for about 10 mins all weekend.

    you could also try puting some porn on for him...
    or spiking his drink with viagra or the various other types. (triagra will keep him going for atleast 2 days)
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    Are you fit?



    Are you sure you have done everything you can think of to entice him back into bed? What kind of porn does he watch when you're not around?
    I'd consider myself pretty good looking if that's what you meant by 'fit' if you meant fitness wise I also enjoy the gym so I'd say yes also.

    I'd like to think he doesn't watch porn when I'm not around considering he's too tired for me. But I'm sure he does but I don't know what he watches.
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    (Original post by Alvrae)
    maybe you lake the ability to be spontanius?
    excitment can come from more than just position and what your wearing...
    hell i've done it onto of a motorway bridge amongst other places.

    on the other hand you could just try going on holiday som where quiet with him and having some fun!

    i went to Stratford upon-avon with my better half and i think i left the hotel room for about 10 mins all weekend.

    you could also try puting some porn on for him...
    or spiking his drink with viagra or the various other types. (triagra will keep him going for atleast 2 days)
    Tried the porn thing and he just looked nervous and shy. Spontaniety is what I'd enjoy more of, tried it and failed as he preferes it to be timetabled in 'sigh'.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    I'd like to think he doesn't watch porn when I'm not around considering he's too tired for me. But I'm sure he does but I don't know what he watches.
    I feel like this too. I know that however much sex men are getting, some will still use porn/imagination/whatever they fancy to masturbate, but the idea he will do that yet not want sex winds me up beyond belief.
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    (Original post by student61)
    I don't mind my other half watching porn (which he only does occasionally as he only has his phone and not a computer), but we've had a recent lack of sex and the reason why is completely eluding me!

    Very annoying.

    BTW - do you think he'd actually prefer to w**k than have sex? He never used to seem to!?
    Guys watch porn whether they have sex with their girls or not, so that's not a problem.

    Guys always need to jerk off once in a while, even if they are in relationships. That doesn't mean they would want it instead of sex. Even if he would be that type, or stressed about work or something is bothering him etc., forget about what he wants for a while and think about what you want. Relationships are about compromising, and if you're not having sex after 2 years, do you think you will after 10 years? Tell him straight. Or watch some porn of your own and leave your computer open so he'll see that you're not getting what you need.

    PS Don't try to watch porn with him if you think he prefers it over sex. Men have two sex lives; the one with a partner and one of their own. He'll want to jerk off on his own.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tried the porn thing and he just looked nervous and shy. Spontaniety is what I'd enjoy more of, tried it and failed as he preferes it to be timetabled in 'sigh'.
    feed him oysters, viagra.

    alternativly find out what makes him seriously horny?
    surely its not that difficult?

    my missus just jumps on me if she's horny regardless of the time of day.
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    (Original post by Mann18)
    That's not what is implied is it?
    Literally, it's fine, but it sounds as though you're "looking for sex with other men."
    If you read my original post it says I am considering it so I know something is wrong. I wanted to know if others had the same feelings in a relationship and whether they considered it to be 'normal' behaviour or the signs of a breakup. It pays to read more than the title.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'd consider myself pretty good looking if that's what you meant by 'fit' if you meant fitness wise I also enjoy the gym so I'd say yes also.

    I'd like to think he doesn't watch porn when I'm not around considering he's too tired for me. But I'm sure he does but I don't know what he watches.

    Well I think that should be your first goal. Unless he is clinically depressed or something, then he will be watching porn, and I doubt its vanilla flavour. Find out what he watches, take notes, and surprise him with an offer he can't refuse.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If you read my original post it says I am considering it so I know something is wrong. I wanted to know if others had the same feelings in a relationship and whether they considered it to be 'normal' behaviour or the signs of a breakup. It pays to read more than the title.
    I did read more than the title.
    Even what you've just said shows I was correct.

    "I'm considering it."

    It pays to choose words carefully.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been with my bf for 2 and a 1/2 years and we live together. (I'm 22 he's 27)

    Latelly he shows me no physical affection we have sex every couple of weeks to a month if I'm lucky. Everything else in the relationship is perfect I trust him etc and know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me intentionaly but this is getting to me. My confidence is dropping and I've tried talking about it but he just changes the subject and whenever I try anything he pushes me away because he is tired etc. The lack of sex has been going on for a year so I know it's not just about that atm but the lack of affection as a whole. Never takes me out or wants to spend time with me.

    The past couple months I'm starting to find other men really attractive and it's making me consider breaking up with my bf. I'm not extremelly unhappy with him but I'm not happy either. The fact I'm looking at other men makes me realise something is wrong.

    I don't want to give up on the relationship if this is just a 'rough patch' but I want to know if anyone else has been in long term relationships and felt like this? What do you think I should do?

    ask him if he has any sexual fantasies and play them out

    other wise accept he has a low sex drive and then poison his food with testosterone
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    (Original post by Rolls eyes)
    Guys watch porn whether they have sex with their girls or not, so that's not a problem.

    Guys always need to jerk off once in a while, even if they are in relationships. That doesn't mean they would want it instead of sex. Even if he would be that type, or stressed about work or something is bothering him etc., forget about what he wants for a while and think about what you want. Relationships are about compromising, and if you're not having sex after 2 years, do you think you will after 10 years? Tell him straight. Or watch some porn of your own and leave your computer open so he'll see that you're not getting what you need.

    PS Don't try to watch porn with him if you think he prefers it over sex. Men have two sex lives; the one with a partner and one of their own. He'll want to jerk off on his own.
    Oh yeah I get that - the idea he will knock one out over porn (this I used to translate to wanting me to look like all the women in the porn, now I realise it's not that) is fine by me these days, not constantly but I appreciate I'm not there all the time and even when I am around a lot, we all do that, but in addition to sex, not instead of.

    I have tried to talk to him, and asked does he prefer himself, to be blunt about it. He tells me not to be so stupid etc. but I just don't know

    Like the OP, I'm pretty certain he's not cheating on me, and when I say how he used to want it all the time, his response is now he knows he will have me forever, whereas before he didn't know when it would end! I'm very confused.
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    (Original post by student61)
    Oh yeah I get that - the idea he will knock one out over porn (this I used to translate to wanting me to look like all the women in the porn, now I realise it's not that) is fine by me these days, not constantly but I appreciate I'm not there all the time and even when I am around a lot, we all do that, but in addition to sex, not instead of.

    I have tried to talk to him, and asked does he prefer himself, to be blunt about it. He tells me not to be so stupid etc. but I just don't know

    Like the OP, I'm pretty certain he's not cheating on me, and when I say how he used to want it all the time, his response is now he knows he will have me forever, whereas before he didn't know when it would end! I'm very confused.
    I don't want to be cruel or anything, but I know girls with boyfriends with a very low sex drive. And I've heard them say things like "that's just how he is, and I know he would never cheat on me". A couple of months later they realize he's been cheating. All I'm saying is that you never know.

    Push him up in a corner and confront him before the lack of sex start eating your relationship from within. People are different, but I know I couldn't be in a relationship where we didn't do it at least 4 times per week.
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    (Original post by Rolls eyes)
    I don't want to be cruel or anything, but I know girls with boyfriends with a very low sex drive. And I've heard them say things like "that's just how he is, and I know he would never cheat on me". A couple of months later they realize he's been cheating. All I'm saying is that you never know.

    Push him up in a corner and confront him before the lack of sex start eating your relationship from within. People are different, but I know I couldn't be in a relationship where we didn't do it at least 4 times per week.
    Well it's not really how he is, because he didn't used to be. We have had a rough 6 months or so, and it's been since then, but we've been better and it's not changed.

    I know what you are saying, and maybe I'm naive to think he's being faithful, but I honestly trust him and there's nothing to make me feel otherwise - his phone is left home while he's a work, he doesn't care about me turning up whenever, no unexplained or prolonged absence - he works and I see him most nights, other than when he's playing football or I'm busy and I know he's there because I have friends there. I genuinely don't know how he could be cheating if that makes sense at all.

    Maybe he just doesn't fancy me anymore :confused:
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    You say yourself that you are not happy in this relationship for this particular reason so I think this answers your question. Dump him and move on.
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    Maybe he's been having sex with other women, and isn't having sex with you so it feels less like cheating...

    Or maybe you've turned him :awesome:
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    (Original post by student61)

    Maybe he just doesn't fancy me anymore :confused:
    Could be..and he's just staying in it for comfort.I think if you sit down and talk to him about this seriously, say you are young and that the relationship seem dead in some areas. It's perfectly possible that when he realize you are unhappy, the fear of losing you will put his ass in gear. A lot of men assume women have low sex drive (because a lot of men have higher). You simply have to say how you feel, but ask him gently to not sound like you're accusing him of something, it might seem like he isn't 'manly' enough for you.
 
 
 
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