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My lack of relationships and desire for a relationship. Watch

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    (Original post by py0alb)
    Sounds like an Oedipus complex. /just kidding/

    As far as I can remember, all I wanted to do when I was 17 was have sex with three girls at once.
    It didn't happen :moon:
    You kind of fall into the lovey dovey relationship stuff once you get your libido under control.
    Well it seems I've fallen into the lovey dovey stuff already

    Not saying that I don't have a high libido, I like a :dice: as much as the next man.
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    It seems I'm the only one who thinks the OP is quite sweet


    OP as long as you're not lifting then just socialise more with the above tips
    If you are a bit fug in the face, get mortal.
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    (Original post by Cybele)
    Tell me of any academic who deems sex necessary in any true 'relationship'. You won't find any.

    There are many, many factors which differentiate a friendship from a relationship. Sex is only one factor, an optional factor at that.
    Watch this lecture. He specifically talks about the difference between friendships and intimate relationships, and the sources of intimacy.

    The whole series is well worth watching TBH.

    http://www.academicearth.org/lecture...es-and-couples
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    (Original post by Bananas01)
    Well so basically I want to be able to join in the silly fun people can have, and get a girlfriend in which to share my life, and to be honest I don't know why I'm making this thread, maybe you guys are in the same position and can share your experiences and give advice?
    To be blunt, if you're not actually into the silly fun, you can't join in with it, at least not convincingly. If you do, you might find a girlfriend ... but you probably won't have much in common with her.

    Being serious is a disadvantage in school dating; once you're out in the world, you'll meet loads of people who are the same. I was the same as you - wanted a real relationship long before a lot of the people I was around, and as such didn't date in school.

    I've had a lot more interest in the two years I've been out of school than the thirteen years I was in it.
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    (Original post by Bananas01)
    So basically I'm a 17 year old guy in my last year of school who has never been in a relationship, or even gone out on a date with a girl. I know many of you will sat "that's not too bad you have plenty of time" etc and I totally understand and get what you're saying, but it doesn't really change how I feel

    I see nice girls about the place who are really nice to me and stuff but I never seem to get to know them outside of school or anything. I see lots of nice girls on Facebook, having fun in the pictures and generally just having fun, recently people being stupid and having fun in the snow. But I'm not really like that, I've never been invited anywhere with a group of friends and I don't think I'm a terribly "fun" person, I always seem to be perceived as the serious one, and I do realise I can come across that way.

    This seems to stop me getting to know any girls properly, to the point that if I'm sitting next to a girl in class and she's nice to me I start thinking about her in "that" way. I can't help it, I think I must be desperate or something, but I just really want a relationship.

    I know a lot of you will see this as "guy wants some girl action" but it really isn't. I don't want a relationship for anything like that yet, I just want to have a girl who really cares about me, who I can go out and have fun with and have a great time. I'm not really interested in sex and stuff yet, I just want to be able to have someone to be really nice to me and who I can go out, have fun, maybe hold hands and share some hugs with, but it doesn't seem to be happening for me. I'm thinking maybe I should just wait until I start university next year so I can get a fresh start, but I'm applying for Maths which I know is a very male dominated field so I don't know.

    Well so basically I want to be able to join in the silly fun people can have, and get a girlfriend in which to share my life, and to be honest I don't know why I'm making this thread, maybe you guys are in the same position and can share your experiences and give advice?

    Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read that and reply
    You sound almost identical to me. I understand perfect what you're on about, the problem is most others on here don't/won't. These are the sort of people who are the complete antithesis of us and **** anything that moves, and thus you won't get much useful advice on here. I haven't much to offer you.

    If, like me, you feel a fool in their sort of 'fun' or possess too much dignity to go out and get ****faced every weekend - or just too much dignity to be seen with these people in the first place - then my suggestion would be to focus on people in your own fields. A meaningful relationship relies far more heavily on shared intellect/common interests than good looks. In my opinion, a couple who are not on the same wavelength are doomed from day one. It will never last, and there will be a mental/emotional barrier that will cause for a void, a certain No Man's Land, between the two. Perhaps wait until university and join all of these societies I hear so much about.
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    (Original post by rylit91)
    You sound almost identical to me. I understand perfect what you're on about, the problem is most others on here don't/won't. These are the sort of people who are the complete antithesis of us and **** anything that moves, and thus you won't get much useful advice on here. I haven't much to offer you.

    If, like me, you feel a fool in their sort of 'fun' or possess too much dignity to go out and get ****faced every weekend - or just too much dignity to be seen with these people in the first place - then my suggestion would be to focus on people in your own fields. A meaningful relationship relies far more heavily on shared intellect/common interests than good looks. In my opinion, a couple who are not on the same wavelength are doomed from day one. It will never last, and there will be a mental/emotional barrier that will cause for a void, a certain No Man's Land, between the two. Perhaps wait until university and join all of these societies I hear so much about.
    You're having a tough adolescence aren't you?

    Don't worry buddy, it gets better once you turn 20.
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    You're having a tough adolescence aren't you?

    Don't worry buddy, it gets better once you turn 20.
    I'm 19. My adolescence has been rather wonderful thank you, largely due to the fact I brought up properly.
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    (Original post by rylit91)
    I'm 19. My adolescence has been rather wonderful thank you, largely due to the fact I brought up properly.
    You brought what up properly? :confused:

    It doesn't sound wonderful. In fact it sounds like a cliche of awkward teenage hell:

    "If, like me, you feel a fool in their sort of 'fun' or possess too much dignity to go out and get ****faced every weekend - or just too much dignity to be seen with these people in the first place"
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    (Original post by rylit91)
    I'm 19. My adolescence has been rather wonderful thank you, largely due to the fact I brought up properly.
    As was I, that doesn't negate the fact I enjoy getting drunk and having fun. If you don't want to be judged, don't judge.
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    (Original post by DiZZeeKiD)
    As was I, that doesn't negate the fact I enjoy getting drunk and having fun. If you don't want to be judged, don't judge.
    If you don't want to be judged, don't do something that warrants judgement.
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    You brought what up properly? :confused:

    It doesn't sound wonderful. In fact it sounds like a cliche of awkward teenage hell:

    "If, like me, you feel a fool in their sort of 'fun' or possess too much dignity to go out and get ****faced every weekend - or just too much dignity to be seen with these people in the first place"
    I'm certainly no cliche. I read it that you were criticising me for actually having a sense of decency, and you probably were. What is to be commended about getting drunk on a regular, predictable basis?
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    (Original post by DiZZeeKiD)
    As was I, that doesn't negate the fact I enjoy getting drunk and having fun. If you don't want to be judged, don't judge.
    Well, your post suggests the opposite. Who doesn't love getting drunk? I do, but I don't - I know how to conduct myself.
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    (Original post by rylit91)
    Well, your post suggests the opposite. Who doesn't love getting drunk? I do, but I don't - I know how to conduct myself.
    You make no sense. I was raised well, I have both dignity and decency. Just because I enjoy getting drunk, you have no right to condemn me as a heathen. I'm 20 years old and fully intend to make the most of that, if you don't enjoy doing the same things as me and that makes you happy - hooray for you. It doesn't make you better than me.
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    Can we please stop with the arguing? It's the sort of thing that would make a mod close a thread and I don't want that.
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    (Original post by rylit91)
    I'm certainly no cliche. I read it that you were criticising me for actually having a sense of decency, and you probably were. What is to be commended about getting drunk on a regular, predictable basis?
    Who is talking about getting drunk? I'm commenting on your very visible misplaced sense of superiority and ego driven justification of your social self-exclusion.

    Let me see.. so you're not very popular at school, and don't get included in many social functions. This is difficult for your ego to cope with, so instead you turn it on its head and convince yourself that it is actually them that are not good enough for you, and rather than them excluding you from the fun, you are excluding them. I bet this makes your feel empowered doesn't it? Amirite or amirite? :awesome:

    TBH, you sound a bit like one of those nutters who flips out and stalks the school with a machine guy mowing down everyone in your path because they didn't invite him to their party because you're "a bit creepy".
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    (Original post by py0alb)
    Who is talking about getting drunk? I'm commenting on your very visible misplaced sense of superiority and ego driven justification of your social self-exclusion.

    Let me see.. so you're not very popular at school, and don't get included in many social functions. This is difficult for your ego to cope with, so instead you turn it on its head and convince yourself that it is actually them that are not good enough for you, and rather than them excluding you from the fun, you are excluding them. I bet this makes your feel empowered doesn't it? Amirite or amirite? :awesome:

    TBH, you sound a bit like one of those nutters who flips out and stalks the school with a machine guy mowing down everyone in your path because they didn't invite him to their party because you're "a bit creepy".
    *claps slowly and loudly*
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    ignore all the rude people commentin i think ur very sweet if only every boy had this kind of emotion n respect 4 girls! I get wat ur sayin but mayb try to work on ur confidence n hopefully u'll meet someone but u can't force stuff like this, u'll meet a really nice girl one day don.t worry
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    (Original post by Bananas01)
    Can we please stop with the arguing? It's the sort of thing that would make a mod close a thread and I don't want that.
    We're not arguing, we're debatin' against each other.

    Have you asked any girls out? Where is the problem exactly?
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    py0alb you one horny guy brav ,
    Ps I understand brothels are the place to be?
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    (Original post by Bananas01)
    I understand what you're saying, but I dunno. What i want is a meaningful relationship - maybe I'm just being a naive insatiable romantic but I really want to share my life with a nice girl
    So do I.

    But the facts are I'm less likely to meet a nice girl if I am not out there meeting new people and developing the social skills to talk to those nice girls as and when I meet them.

    You want the cake but you need to learn how to make it first.
 
 
 
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