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Has anyone been travelling whilst in a relationship? Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What questions? We have already discussed the above of what you said.

    Wouldn't 'bugger off' for 8 months if it's something you had wanted to do your whole life?

    Prefer non-monogamous relationships?! NOW it's making more sense. I think this conversation is over now - we have very different views clearly.
    What questions?? The ones about how you'd handle the REALITIES I mentioned. You didn't answer me as to how you'd deal with those REALITIES.

    You're sure right that we have different views, dear. If I had to go away somewhere for 8 months because it was something I 'had to do', I'd do the decent thing and NOT keep my relationship monogamous during that period, because it wouldn't be fair or realistic for both parties to keep something monogamous during a period where you can't actually be together. If you truly trusted your partner, you wouldn't feel the need to demand monogamy during your period apart. The fact that you have to hold onto monogamy proves that you feel threatened that your partner might meet someone else and leave you by the time you get back.

    I always say that monogamy and monotony rhyme for good reasons...plus I enjoy variety when it comes to women....and I prefer to keep myself as a 'free agent' so I don't have to answer to anyone....hence my preference for 'non monogamous' relationships. Anyway this thread isn't about ME, it's about you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    THAT is because you have never found anyone who you have loved enough to want to. Period.
    My thoughts exactly when reading all of his posts..
    OP, I'm in an LDR now (in term time.. ending in April). By then (if we're still together, which I'd hope!) we'll have been LD for 8 months. We do get to see eachother every 2-3weeks, so I know it isn't the same, but in between we're both very busy so only get to call/email eachother every few days.
    I love him, he loves me, sure sometimes there is strain on the relationship- but honestly, it's no more than if we were living next door to eachother.
    I appreciate that your situation is significantly different in terms of not seeing eachother inbetween but honestly, LDRs aren't all doomed. As an above poster said, there ARE success stories. Of course most LDRs don't work - most relationships don't work no matter what the proximity of those involved.
    If you really trust him, if you really love him, then stay together. It's clearly a serious relationship if you're living together and that shouldn't be thrown away over potential difficulties for a few months.
    Oh, and, good luck, and I hope you have an amazing time travelling
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    (Original post by ChancedTravels)
    My thoughts exactly when reading all of his posts..
    OP, I'm in an LDR now (in term time.. ending in April). By then (if we're still together, which I'd hope!) we'll have been LD for 8 months. We do get to see eachother every 2-3weeks, so I know it isn't the same, but in between we're both very busy so only get to call/email eachother every few days.
    I love him, he loves me, sure sometimes there is strain on the relationship- but honestly, it's no more than if we were living next door to eachother.
    I appreciate that your situation is significantly different in terms of not seeing eachother inbetween but honestly, LDRs aren't all doomed. As an above poster said, there ARE success stories. Of course most LDRs don't work - most relationships don't work no matter what the proximity of those involved.
    If you really trust him, if you really love him, then stay together. It's clearly a serious relationship if you're living together and that shouldn't be thrown away over potential difficulties for a few months.
    Oh, and, good luck, and I hope you have an amazing time travelling
    Thank you so much for your posts. I just feel so down about the whole thing at the moment and really feel like i shouldn't be going.
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    (Original post by doodle7)
    Yeah maybe consider being non exclusive, but setting ground rules. 8 months will fly to be honest, and if he really does love you he will eagerly await your return.
    Rubbish. I fail to understand how anybody could accept 'non-exclusivity' but staying together. If you want to be free in that way, have the courage to break up with him. If not, it's doable staying together. You don't have to put it about to have fun travelling, I stayed with my girlfriend when I was living abroad and didn't once feel the urge to try it with anyone (cue 'she didn't ROFL')


    edit- this post sounded much harsher than I meant it. It really will be very difficult if you decide to keep going, b under no illusions about that. It is possible if you trust each other and are committed. Good luck whatever you do
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    (Original post by spartakist)
    Rubbish. I fail to understand how anybody could accept 'non-exclusivity' but staying together. If you want to be free in that way, have the courage to break up with him. If not, it's doable staying together. You don't have to put it about to have fun travelling, I stayed with my girlfriend when I was living abroad and didn't once feel the urge to try it with anyone (cue 'she didn't ROFL')


    edit- this post sounded much harsher than I meant it. It really will be very difficult if you decide to keep going, b under no illusions about that. It is possible if you trust each other and are committed. Good luck whatever you do


    Thanks for your reply
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I'd really appreciate some advice from people who have been in a similar situation, or know people that have...

    I'm off travelling 1st Jan, for around 8 months. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and 4 months and had planned to do this before we got together... Now we're a lot more serious than we were when i first started planning it all and booked it, i'm really starting to feel down about what should be the best experience of my life....

    We went through a really bad patch about 4 months ago where i felt like i didn't want to be with him anymore and everything was wrong, now i completely feel differently and it's like i don't want to ever be without him...

    I don't want to cancel the trip but i'm gutted that this trip is being spoilt by thoughts of him cheating/finding someone else... I'm very excited about it but also dreading it at the same time... He says he won't cheat, will wait for me and would never find someone else but come on, i bet every person who HAS cheated has also promised that before they actually did cheat...

    We live together currently and have done for about 10 months now....

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated and rewarded with rep...xxxxx
    Has it ever occurred to you that he might be feeling/thinking the same thing. I'm sure you'd say 'well I would never cheat' - just imagine he feels the same as you because he probably does.
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    (Original post by paella)
    Has it ever occurred to you that he might be feeling/thinking the same thing. I'm sure you'd say 'well I would never cheat' - just imagine he feels the same as you because he probably does.
    To be fair i really don't think he really thinks about it, certainly never shows it. He's so laid back i wonder if he cares sometimes.
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    I went travelling for 9 months with a friend who had a boyfriend. I know she missed him at times, and leaving him was really hard for her, but we had the most amazing time away. It got easier for her over time, and they managed to skype weekly. You will learn so much from travelling, and as cliched as it sounds, you will grow as a person.There is a saying "In twenty years time you will regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did."
    If he is 'the one' then he will still be 'the one' when you return
 
 
 
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