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wtf am i going to do? he said i have to end it with him or .... Watch

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    Your parents only want what they think is best for you because they obviously love you.
    However, I think it's unfair, not to mention misguided, for your Dad to try and make you choose between your boyfriend of two years and your family. Making threats and saying such hurtful things might just have been in the heat of the moment, but it was still out of order. You could try sitting down, talking about things and explaining the entire situation; this might help by causing your family to rethink a few things. Ultimately, they can't prevent you from making your own decisions, and if you really have a strong conviction about this, caving in just for the quiet life won't help in the long run.
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    Could you not have just mentioned that the guy who was with you at the club, was just a close friend, rather than your boyfriend?

    Anyway, you could always just arrange a fake break up, or if that doesn't go to plan, can you not move in with your boyfriend?
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    (Original post by JayB124)
    Thats why I said asap. A2s end in a few months. Just wait it out.

    If you dont want to wait, get a full time job and then move out.
    Well if your only options are to stay with him and move out or end it with him, with the possiblity of starting again relationship in June then you are going to have to take one of them up.

    I got negged but don't know why as there wasn't a comment.
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    Is OP a girl or boy? Clarifying that would make a big difference...
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    (Original post by Death.)
    Is OP a girl or boy? Clarifying that would make a big difference...
    girl..i already broke up with him today so i guess i have to close this thread but dnt knw how to :s
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    (Original post by I-love-life)
    girl..i already broke up with him today so i guess i have to close this thread but dnt knw how to :s
    Well, your parents are probably doing this out of anger and love. They want to protect your future and relgious well being, as well as the family's status in society as a whole.

    Having a boyfriend is not actually forbidden in Islam, but sex or any intimacy is forbidden, unless one is married.

    Assuming your parents know this then, it is probably the fact that you go clubbing, smoke and drinking which they are angry with. Those last points will probably lead to promiscuity.



    Not looking good is it?

    From experience with various friends of mine, telling them you are an atheist (which you probably are) will just aggravate the situation and lead to seperation if not violence.

    In all honesty your best hope is to comply with your family's wishes for now IF you want to stay in contact with them, and resist the things that they have forbidden. Then when you are older live life the way you want to.

    Alternatively you can go all out against them, move out and cut all connections with them. Which I am sure is not going to happen, as a boyfriend does not take priority over family (in my opinion anyway).

    Either way it's your call.
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    Sorry for being unhelpful- but you do have an incredibly ironic username!
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    Your dad's a prick, if he want's to live in a western society he needs to respect his daughters life choices.
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    If you bf loved you he would take you in give you a place to stay for a while until you got into uni or finsihed your a levels. Anyways I'd be a little pissed off if I found out my daughter was lieng behind my back and doing things she said she wouldn't your in the wrong as much as him. Your 19 your an adult either live with your parents and do as they say or move out and do as you want. I think what your dad is doing is right and I come from a crazy muslim family( a couple of years ago I was on drugs weed to be precise and was stealing in order to fund the habit once my da found out he actually got a hammer and smacked my fingers until I managed to pull my hand away and live on the streets for 3 days then I went home and avoided my family for about a couple of months)
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    (Original post by I-love-life)
    I'm really sorry for making so many threads about my fam situation, but my dad wants me to break up with my bf, he jus came to my room and said he is very disappointed and can't even call me his daughter anymore, he said he wants me to end it with the basterd otherwise i have to pack my bags and leave I Can't stop crying he just came to my room lyk 5 mins ago and told me that i have to break up with my bf by 2moro or I have to leave home what am i going to do? he said he will be there when i’m ending it with him and he will confiscate my phone , and drop me to college everyday and pick me up when i’m finished! (he asked for a photocopy of my coll timetable) what the fck am i going to do now????????????????

    please don't mind me for posting these threads, my friends are not very good with the whole advice thing



    story
    soz ppl for not telling the full story it's jus im still crying and have previous threads about this situation. I've bn with my bf for nearly 2 years now, my parents are muslim so they are against the whole bf thing as well as clubbing and drinking. I was out last week at a night club and some guy who's dad is my dad's mate saw me with my bf..the d*** told his dad and his dad told my dad..now my dad knows the truth, he knows that i smoke, drink, party and have a bf...anyway the other big problem is that my parents have met my bf before but they think that he is my best friend and he is lyk a bro to me I know its terrible now my dad is going to hate him too
    I would leave the dad and live with the boyfriend or anywhere else. A father who is willing to do that is clearly unstable, overbearing and downright out of place. If you left, it would teach him the lesson he needs: that he has NO right to have that much control over you.
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    That's awful and I imagine it is very stressful.
    I'd talk about this with your boyfriend, can't you convince your dad to sit down and discuss this with you both?
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    (Original post by Enchanté)
    That's awful and I imagine it is very stressful.
    I'd talk about this with your boyfriend, can't you convince your dad to sit down and discuss this with you both?

    i broke up with him today
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    You could do what everyone here says..................

    Or you could actually listen to your dad. He wants the best for you. Listen to what your religion says and follow it. If you don't like it, don't be a Muslim. You can try reasoning with your dad after a few weeks once he sees that you can be responsible etc.
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    Posting to a forum where majority of the users dont really understand asian culture isnt easy.. Whats your nationality?

    All i can say is let it slide for now, Regain your dads trust and when Uni comes, then you'll be ballin ;]

    College is too early into be getting into deep lifechanging decisions
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    (Original post by I-love-life)
    I'm really sorry for making so many threads about my fam situation, but my dad wants me to break up with my bf, he jus came to my room and said he is very disappointed and can't even call me his daughter anymore, he said he wants me to end it with the basterd otherwise i have to pack my bags and leave I Can't stop crying he just came to my room lyk 5 mins ago and told me that i have to break up with my bf by 2moro or I have to leave home what am i going to do? he said he will be there when i’m ending it with him and he will confiscate my phone , and drop me to college everyday and pick me up when i’m finished! (he asked for a photocopy of my coll timetable) what the fck am i going to do now????????????????

    please don't mind me for posting these threads, my friends are not very good with the whole advice thing



    story
    soz ppl for not telling the full story it's jus im still crying and have previous threads about this situation. I've bn with my bf for nearly 2 years now, my parents are muslim so they are against the whole bf thing as well as clubbing and drinking. I was out last week at a night club and some guy who's dad is my dad's mate saw me with my bf..the d*** told his dad and his dad told my dad..now my dad knows the truth, he knows that i smoke, drink, party and have a bf...anyway the other big problem is that my parents have met my bf before but they think that he is my best friend and he is lyk a bro to me I know its terrible now my dad is going to hate him too
    Is there a relative or family friend you can stay with? Please don't let this affect your studies if possible. I think you need to have your own life and be yourself. Your parents should not control you!
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    (Original post by I-love-life)
    do u know before he told me this, i was actually planning on chnaging my ways, stop drinking, clubbing and partying but one thing that i said i won't do is leaving my bf,,i was willing to change myself just to make them happy but now he is takin the piss..ffs im 19
    You're also muslim? I would understand the situation if you wern't. I really dont want to make you feel even worse but this is a part of being muslim. Partying, drinking, bfs etc is all not a part of being Muslim. Depends if you yourself consider yourself to be one I think you should think before you make a decision. Did you not know this would happen especially because you seem to also be from an asian background?
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    your dad sounds like a great guy since he dont want you to be like the rest of these english skets. he is a male himself and knows what other males are like.

    Your dad looked after you all your life and is your dad your boyfreind just wants to **** you simple as that get over it
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    In get your situation - talk to your mum - they're normally a bit more understanding! I've been dating my bf for over a year now and everyone except my dad knows, and we've even managed a long dist. relationship now only cause my mum knows the truth and helps cover for me and assures my dad that Im not dating. It's not just an Asian thing - some dads are just old school.
    PLUS - email or text your bf right now, before he takes your phone and let him know about the situation!
    PS - that guy who snitched on you is a d***
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    (Original post by I-love-life)
    girl..i already broke up with him today so i guess i have to close this thread but dnt knw how to :s
    I actually want to give you the biggest hug right now! :hugs:

    Never been through this myself but I feel so sorry for you. Now you're broken up I'd just give my dad the silent treatment and make sure your now -ex understands why you did what you did, so maybe you can repair your relationship in the future.

    Hope you can get through this, just think of moving to uni and having lots of freedom x
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    (Original post by rosee92)
    I actually want to give you the biggest hug right now! :hugs:

    Never been through this myself but I feel so sorry for you. Now you're broken up I'd just give my dad the silent treatment and make sure your now -ex understands why you did what you did, so maybe you can repair your relationship in the future.

    Hope you can get through this, just think of moving to uni and having lots of freedom x
    thanks x
 
 
 
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