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    I totally get the neck thing, me and my OH react badly if people touch our necks. You didn't mean to hurt her, I'm sure she'll come round my OH hit me during his sleep, but he obviously couldnt help it. she'll get over it like I did.:console:
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    (Original post by innerhollow)
    It was a very bad idea you posting this here, you will just get a lot of insults and abuse. I do sympathise with you, I think you just need to give your girlfriend a bit of time, it was just a frightening experience for her. Try and act as normally as possible, don't act more distant or more close than usual, she'll soon get over this incident.

    If you don't want to, that's perfectly fine, but maybe if you disclose why you might be so frightened by physical contact with your neck, that might help these ignorant people understand.


    I have to say the ignorance displayed on this thread is revolting. Do you all seriously think people just get violent about contact with their neck of their own accord? That the OP just decided he would attack anyone who touches his neck?

    It's quite blatantly obvious this guy has some psychological issue that has caused this to arise, for whatever reason. He should try to deal with this, but it's simply not that easy as is often made out to be.
    I'm beginning to see that... It's because an old friend tried to strangle me a few years ago, and now I hate having my neck touch.

    Of course I didn't decide to just randomly do it - we were going through of all this to try and get over it, I wouldn't bother if I just wanted to keep being weird about it.
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    Quit giving him abuse.

    If you have ticklish feet and somebody tickles them, you wave them around like a ******* and inevitably end up hitting them. His girlfriend knew he was funny about his neck, and knew it was a no go area.

    Not a lot you can do OP, just make sure she knows how sorry you are and just explain to her what you've told us. Chocolates + Flowers + Wine also help. And maybe some ice/concealer make up so you don't go to prison!


    Edit: Just read the part about you nearly being strangled. That's a psychological issue which maybe you should try to work through OP. Consider psychotherapy or even hypnotherapy. Maybe you should put the reason on the original post to stop all the rest of the ignorant posters.
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    (Original post by Broderss)
    Well whatever it is that's making you beat your girlfriend, stop taking it.
    I don't take anything, I don't beat her and you're a troll - please leave my thread.

    (Original post by jsmith167)
    Weather you meant it or not i disagree with it and dont agree with males hitting females
    Nor do I.

    (Original post by fidelity_blue)
    Well as much as I'm not going to shout at you and call you a violent **** I'm going to try and maybe make you see why she was upset even though it was an accident.
    Because she hadn't just gone for it and touched your neck and you'd actually planned to try it, she was probably expecting you to make a much bigger effort to restrain any reaction you might have or at least warn her if you felt like it was too much (you're saying it was a reflex, but she probably still feels a bit betrayed that you let it happen).
    Has she had any violence in her past? If not, it will still obviously affect her, but it'd probably take her a lot longer if she has any history of it. All you can do is continuously apologise and try to explain what happened - but I think I'd be pretty shook up too, I'm sure she'll be fine in the end she might just need some time. It takes a lot for trust to come back after that - if the accident had been "Oh I was turning round and caught her with my elbow by accident" then she'd be over it by now, but in her eyes you attacked her.
    I did try - we thought being completely relaxed would be better, but it just made me sleepy and, when she suddenly touched my neck (I will admit, I was expecting something verbal, we did discuss it that way ... but right after hurting her wasn't the time to say, "Well, it is sort of your fault...", is it?), it took me by surprise and I just forgot it would be her.

    No, no violence in her past.

    (Original post by Butted)
    Erm yeah, you probably shouldn't have hit her
    You don't say. :rolleyes:

    (Original post by CookieDoughLove)
    I don't really understand how you could do that. If you guys were testing things out, you would have known perfectly well it was your girlfriend therefore no reason to lash out :dontknow:
    Like I say, we were taking the approach that complete relaxation would be better ... but it made me half-asleep, then she suddenly touched me, woke me up and took me by surprise ... so I lashed out before I remembered it was her.
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    I've kicked boyfriends in the face for touching my feet before, so I pretty much get that it was (probably) an accident.

    All you can do is be apologetic and try and make her see that you would never intentionally hurt her. But maybe don't try that neck shizzle again anytime soon.
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    Get a vampire for a girlfriend, she'd probably enjoy the fight
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    (Original post by JohnC2211)
    Quit giving him abuse.

    If you have ticklish feet and somebody tickles them, you wave them around like a ******* and inevitably end up hitting them. His girlfriend knew he was funny about his neck, and knew it was a no go area.

    Not a lot you can do OP, just make sure she knows how sorry you are and just explain to her what you've told us. Chocolates + Flowers + Wine also help. And maybe some ice/concealer make up so you don't go to prison!


    Edit: Just read the part about you nearly being strangled. That's a psychological issue which maybe you should try to work through OP. Consider psychotherapy or even hypnotherapy. Maybe you should put the reason on the original post to stop all the rest of the ignorant posters.
    To be fair, we were trying this together ... but I really didn't mean to hurt her in it.

    Thankfully no bruise, just a bit of redness for a day, so no concealer needed. :ninja: I don't know if making a fuss is going to make it weirder between us now, though...

    And yeah. Hypnotherapy is not happening, and I'm uneasy about psychotherapy because it would mean sharing what this friend did ... and I haven't done that with anyone. Only he and I know. I don't want him to get into trouble for it.

    Unfortunately, I can't edit the OP. :mad:
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    (Original post by IlexBlue)
    I know, I read the other thread.

    I still don't think it's an excuse.

    Especially as your girlfriend was trying hard to help you get over it, and you repay her by hitting her and blame it on an "automatic reaction."
    Not to be rude but areyou saying that you don't instinctively kick when someone tickled you. You don't throw your arms out whwn you fall?
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    You should tie up your hands next time when you're getting her to touch your neck.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, before everyone starts shouting abuse and how I should turn myself into the police, you need to know the whole context, and understand that it was entirely an accident.

    You may or may not have read the thread, but I'm the person who hates having their neck touched ... and my girlfriend likes to touch and kiss my neck. So, in order to get over this, we were trying something where I would be totally relaxed and trusting of her, and then she would slowly touch my neck to see how I'd respond.

    So, I was trusting and relaxed. I was so very relaxed, I was in a completely different headspace and, to be honest here, I forgot she was there with me. I even forgot I was there. Then she touched my neck, and brought me out of it very suddenly...

    I really did just act on instinct and, in an attempt to get the 'attacker' away from me, I hit out ... and caught her. It was only after that that I even remembered it would be my girlfriend, and as soon as I realised I was stroking and kissing where I'd hit her, getting the ice, cuddling her and apologising.

    She said she was all right with it and she understood I hadn't meant to violently attack her, even that she should have gone slower and not taken me by surprise.

    However, since then, she hasn't responded to my texts or be as active in conversations, she seems jumpy around me, she was hesistant to get in a car with, she doesn't sleep half laying on me anymore...

    I don't know what to do - I really didn't mean to hit her, and I love her so much ... but I think I've scared her, and I'm probably one of the most non-violent people you could meet. Is there anything I can do to make it up to her?

    TL;DR version: Accidentally hit my girlfriend in circumstances that are IMO completely understandable. Not a violent person, but now she seems scared of me - anything I can do about it?

    I know how you feel. I once playfully slapped my gf when I was drunk, then realised a split second after there is nothing playful about a slap- still hate myself for it, although she's forgiven me.

    In your case you should be even more at ease- it was a reflex action that wasn't intended to hurt her. Don't worry about it. Talk to her about it, thats what I did- make it obvious how sorry you are, how it will never happen again, etc. She should forgive you.
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    I was in the same situation like you before. haha
    But its my feet/waist.
    Give her time, and show her that you are really sorry about it.
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    definately wrong forum to say that, maybe see someone you trust, you'll get a lot of abuse here
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My friend tried to strangle me a few years ago. He wasn't himself, he got help afterwards as a direct result - I don't hold a grudge against him for it, I just don't like having my neck touched anymore.

    And to honest Danielle, I don't think she will be touching my neck again. I hate, hate, hate that this is what might make her finally stop.
    Your friend's unstable mind has been passed onto you. Obviously your girlfriend is going to be terrified atm. She probably feels that making any physical contact might mean that you'll lash out again.

    My advice is not to go to the police, but go to the doctors for psychiatric help. This neck "issue" will affect relationships, and the current one you're in, the trust people have with you (and ironically is the problem you have, trust), relationships with family friends or workmates etc. At least you know where the problem stems from, but now you need help resolving it.

    Either way, go to the GP to see what he/she can do. You responded the way you did I assume out of self protection, obviously in a relaxed mindset not fully functioning who the person was, and responded the way you did out of the past event. If you want to win her back you apologize to her, stating why you reacted that way and consult your doctor about this problem.
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    (Original post by kristinaalovesu)
    Give her time, and show her that you are really sorry about it.
    How, though? People are saying not to behave differently ... except the things I usually do wouldn't show her I'm really sorry.
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    (Original post by DanielleT192)
    Your friend's unstable mind has been passed onto you. Obviously your girlfriend is going to be terrified atm. She probably feels that making any physical contact might mean that you'll lash out again.

    My advice is not to go to the police, but go to the doctors for psychiatric help. This neck "issue" will affect relationships, and the current one you're in, the trust people have with you (and ironically is the problem you have, trust), relationships with family friends or workmates etc. At least you know where the problem stems for, but now you need help resolving it.
    I'm obviously not going to lash out if she touches me, seeing as she has since and it's not like I'm a violent person whose hit her for it.

    I don't have trust issues in general, just where my neck is concerned.
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    (Original post by DanielleT192)
    Either way, go to the GP to see what he/she can do. You responded the way you did I assume out of self protection, obviously not in a relaxed mindset not fully functioning who the person is, and responded the way you did out of the past event. If you want to win her back you apologize to her, stating why you reacted that way and consult your doctor about this problem.
    She obviously knows about the neck problem ... but she doesn't, and will not, know why it exists.
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    Awww

    I can't understand why anybody would give you grief for this, it was clearly an accident. Your girlfriend's overreacting - accidents happen. She sounds quite irritating, if I'm honest. I don't think you've 'frightened' her; she's just playing the victim to make you feel worse - it's what girls do. I'm still not sure why we do it.

    All this **** about you needing professional help for your neck thing...don't listen to it, whatever you do. If you've come to terms with the fact that your friend didn't mean to strangle you, but still have neck issues, so be it. You don't need a psychiatrist opening up old wounds. If anything's going to **** your relationship up, it's that. Just don't try the neck thing again! You might love her, but you can't associate the neck thing and her; it's not going to work because she wasn't there when it happened.

    Chin up, bud. (Don't worry, I'm not going to touch your neck!)

    Apologies for the profanities and bad joke...
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    I think she reacted like that because she is someone you trust and would have thought you'd be able to restrain yourself as you are her boyfriend and that it wasn't out of malicious intent.

    She probably didn't expect you to at all hit her as a reaction hence why she is now a bit frightened and shocked by you.
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    I can see why it happened. I guess its something that you need to work on maybe with help from a specialist.
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    (Original post by Broderss)
    Well whatever it is that's making you beat your girlfriend, stop taking it.
    Do you just post hate?


    @OP If everything you say is true.

    Then i'm sure you didn't mean it.
    Apologise profusely.
 
 
 
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