Sex before marriage?

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.Ali.

I don't get why the hell people think engaging in penetrative sexual activity should only come AFTER committing to spend the rest of your life with someone? "NO, I CANNOT POSSIBLY BE PLEASURED BY YOU UNTIL I HAVE YOUR SECOND NAME".
They are 2 separate things, not completely, but certainly not a "First X then Y"

It's a religious thing. Giving your body to one person, being 'special' for them, etc. Also, it's quite romantic to think you'll give yourself to your one true love, and that you'll be eachother's firsts, the only people you've ever loved properly, stuff like that.

I personally don't believe in it either, but I can understand why people do. Also, I and many others wouldn't want to have sex with just anyone. It's not just about pleasure is it, it's about love, trust, intimacy, and the emotional attatchments that come with it. So I can see why people would at least want to wait until they were in a relationship.

Reply 41

*Dreaming*

Well the whole waiting until marriage thing was engineered by religion. Yes, some people wait for other reasons, but religion was the main one. Religion is no longer an important aspect of most peoples lives in some countries (such as here.) So people just don't follow that "rule" anymore.[

There is contraception, and people have hormones, they just don't see the point in waiting. Also, people used to marry alot younger, nowadays alot of people wait until they're 30 even to settle down.

Reply 42

silverbolt

Original post by a_t

lol how many long term relationships can you have had at 17?

exactly what i picked up on, how long is this person classing a long term relationship - a month?

Reply 43

amitai

Original post by Sweet_Heart

To all the people asking why she should wait, have you considered asking yourself why she shouldn't wait? It's her decision. Leave her be.

I hate to tell you that things don't get easier from here. University is full of people having sex (Hormones run at like an insane high + alcohol). Stilll...as long as you aren't judging them and aren't frigid there won't be a problem.

I came to University single and am yet to be in a relationship (although, I'm sort of 'seeing someone') and I'm told that I don't come off as a virgin which is why I still get chatted up by guys I suppose...

I'm not going to lie, it does take serious fortitude not to cave, but for me I figure that if I've waited 18 years then there's no point throwing my virginity away. If someone likes me enough then they will wait for me and will accept this.

And there are plenttttty of boys here. I'm sure there will be at least a few which share your values :smile:

I came to University single and convinced I would wait and now I am in a relationship
with a beautiful person and sex (Love) just came naturally...nevertheless YES, stick to what you believe is right, if he likes you enough he will accept it and wait for you..in fact, it was me to seize the initiative and say 'I'm ready, let's go!' :biggrin:

really, only do what you feel and you'll be fine :wink:

Reply 44

AnHuman

Original post by .Ali.

That/those do not require marriage, to wait for the status of "married" is arbitrary and illogical, to wait for a certain level/deepness of feelings (which could/would very well trigger engagement very soon after reaching) sure, I can see that, but marriage itself?
What's quicker, walking to the bedroom? or buying a ring, planning a wedding, and getting hitched? Once those 'you're the one' feelings are there... the relative positioning of the marriage ceremony and first bonking session are pretty damn irrelevant.

Reply 45

.Ali.

Original post by AnHuman

Personally, I agree. Some people see marriage as 'finalising your committment' (which I think is a bit illogical as it's relatively simple to get a divorce). Also, you can think someone is 'the one' when they're not. I thought my ex was, clearly, as he's an ex, we split up. But again, this can happen in marriage too.

Reply 46

naomidawn

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, I'm Rosalie. I'm a girl, 17. I've had wuite a few boyfriends so far, most of them long term. The thing is, I've made the decision to wait until I'm married to have sex but no guy wants to wait. I get the whole teen guy thing and wanting to try new things, have sex etc. But seriously.. Does NO ONE wait anymore? Girls or guys? Wow. I'm v. confused.

Thanks. <3

There's no reason to wait anymore; we have contraception so don't have to worry about having children without a stable father (plus women can make their own money now!)
You don't have to throw yourself around, but you might as well have sex with people you care about.
(And I really wouldn't fancy marrying someone I hadn't had sex with - couldn't risk being stuck with **** sex for the rest of my life).

Reply 47

crrrrrash

I think it's too easy to get a divorce nowadays, and isn't it like 40% of uk marriages that do end in divorce? I would just hate to save myself for someone who turned out to not be all that special...

Reply 48

AnHuman

Original post by .Ali.

Despite logically knowing all humans are going to be on some sort of bell-curve of suitability for me, and there are 6.8 billion of them out there, I can't help but genuinely *feel* my girlfriend is 'the one' as such. Like a religious view almost; belief without sound reason.
Despite being a spritely 19 year old, I did get engaged to her 2 months back. I see it more as 'officialising' existing commitment. Also some other practical reasons, she gets really sick of people hitting on her etc, a ring on the finger and a 'Mrs' in front of your name will cut that's down a lot... so i guess that one's more about recognition by society. And also, her biological father was violent and so she finds her current surname quite upseting, and mine sounds BADASS after her name, nice group of sounds.

i've got quite offtopic... :P

Reply 49

.Ali.

Original post by AnHuman

Awww, that's sweet! Congrats! :biggrin:

Hope she enjoys her badass new name. :wink:

Reply 50

kMt

in your other thread you say your 18 and now you are 17 :s-smilie:

stupid troll :smile:

Reply 51

AnHuman

Original post by .Ali.

Awww, that's sweet! Congrats! :biggrin:

Hope she enjoys her badass new name. :wink:

She says it in her sleep :P It's the cutest thing in the world.

(edited 13 years ago)

It's no biggie

Original post by Anonymous

no sex before marriage is part of a dying tradition, why wait when its normal to have sex before marriage?

Reply 54

Annonymous_47

Original post by AnHuman

You're right! Contraception doesn't exist!

Mmm neither do teenage girls with surprise pregnancies sprung on them ...

Reply 55

wtfCharlie

Original post by Anonymous

I'm waiting too, also non-religious :smile:

Reply 56

OrangeSocks

Apologies for being crude, but you gotta try before you buy! What if you wait all that time, get married, then when it comes to your wedding night you realise that the two of you just don't go together?

Reply 57

AnHuman

Original post by Annonymous_47

Mmm neither do teenage girls with surprise pregnancies sprung on them ...

Define "surprise" pregnancy?.

Implant is 99.9% effective. So yes, those 1 in a thousand shags that result in a pregnancy would exist,

your point?

Reply 58

Shippy

My personal view is that sex before marriage is fine, but I wouldn't sleep around, I'd only sleep with someone I'm in a relationship because I couldn't do it with someone I don't trust.

Reply 59

Annonymous_47

Original post by AnHuman

Define "surprise" pregnancy?.

Implant is 99.9% effective. So yes, those 1 in a thousand shags that result in a pregnancy would exist,

your point?

I just mean people who don't intend to get pregnant, as I'm sure is the case for most teenagers and yet still have sex.
I'm not saying I have a problem with other people doing it but personally I would rather just wait until I'm a bit older than do something completely unnatural like having an implant.