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    (Original post by Cheshire_Cat)
    There might not be something wrong with you. I felt exactly the same in my first year of uni which I've just completed. I feel as though my experience there completely broke me down into an emotional wreck; I got depression around December which was up and down at first but then spiralled downhill near the end of the academic year. I've decided that I'm not going back and am going through clearing for a different course at a different uni, so I'm running away from it all really. I feel so relieved and much happier for it though! Perhaps transferring is an option for you?

    There's a book called 'Feeling Good' which is about how to change your way of thinking, especially made for people with depression (can't remember if you said you have it). I bought it a while ago and only got round to reading the first chapter but it's supposed to be very good, you should check it out.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do! Don't let the rest of your uni years be like the first!
    Hello thank you for your post. I don't know if I have depression but these past few months I've been thinking that I might have it but I'm scared to go to the GP in case they think I'm being stupid. Good luck - I hope you enjoy your new uni better!!! Yeah I think transferring might make it better - I think it's very hard for medicine but I will do some research into it. Thanks for the suggestion - may be the book will help me. I am just so sick of feeling down all the time.
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    (Original post by muzza798)
    you need to find people on your social level. dont try and be something your not
    Thats what my problem is - there is no one on my social level at my medical school. I think societies may help me with that next year but I don't know if that's going to work at all.
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    (Original post by mv2010)
    Hello thank you for your post. I don't know if I have depression but these past few months I've been thinking that I might have it but I'm scared to go to the GP in case they think I'm being stupid. Good luck - I hope you enjoy your new uni better!!! Yeah I think transferring might make it better - I think it's very hard for medicine but I will do some research into it. Thanks for the suggestion - may be the book will help me. I am just so sick of feeling down all the time.
    No problem!

    They won't think you're stupid. When I went to my GP about it, it didn't help anyway. She made me do a little questionnaire which concluded that I had mild depression, then prescribed me some anti-depressants which cost £8 or something! I took them for 3 days but then stopped because I was so drowsy all the time and became even more behind with uni work. Maybe try reading the book first then see how you feel. Think I'm going to finish reading it because although I feel much better after coming home and deciding to quit, I can still get really down at times :/

    I still have to get into a uni first but thanks! Definitely do some research into transferring then email or ring up some unis asap so that you can sort out your accommodation with some like-minded people Good luck!!
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    (Original post by mv2010)
    Hello

    So I've finished my first year of medical school but I still don't like my medical school and don't feel like I fit in at all. I know this is all my fault but I am lost and I keep crying everytime I think about how much I was looking forward to uni this time last year and how much I dread going back to uni in september. Since going to uni, I've lost all my confidence - I built up a lot of self-confidence when I was at school but I don't have that any more- I hate everythigng about myself and keep thinking that I am a failure for not enjoying uni as much as my friends.

    I feel so hopeless and trapped. I don't know what to do. How do I regain my confidence? I think constantly feeling low at uni has also afffected my grades because I feel like I could have done much better in some of my exams if I had been happier at the time. I don't want this to carry on next year as well. I am having some problems in my family as well. My parents are constantly arguing and this doesn't help me feel better while I'm at uni. I feel like my uni experience has completely destroyed all my self-belief and confidence. What do I do? I am so glad I got into a medical school and I love medicine but I just don't fit in - I feel very ungrateful and guilty for feeling like this but what do i do? I am going to be the treasurer for a society next year so I am hoping that would improve my confidence and help me meet more people but I feel like nothing is going to change the fact that I don't fit in at my medical school. How do I change the way I think?

    Please don't get angry after reading this thread but I really am desperate now - I don't even know if people can understand how I am feeling right now. I really feel so hopeless- I feel like if I continue at the same place, I will make a very bad doctor or I might fail my exams and drop out and I don't want that. This time last year, I believed that I would do well at uni and make a good doctor but since starting uni, I feel like I am never going to achieve any of that and I am never going to like my life or ever be happy. Can someone please tell me what is wrong with me?
    Hey,

    I think you'd be surprised at how many people feel this way and just don't admit it. I certainly have medic friends that are unsure they want to go back in September.

    I know it's hard to determine why you are unhappy but do you think it is mostly stemming from a lack of friendships? Or is it more about the course? Or deeper? How did you do in first year?

    I think you might find that when you are sharing a house with these girls you'll spend more time together - if they see their boyfriends at the weekend you'll be able to hang out every evening, you can suggest cooking together or going to the cinema etc.

    Treasurer position may help too, just fake it till you make it with the confidence and be super friendly to everyone. If you've got the time think about joining another society? The sporty ones tend to be pretty social, or join ones that have lots of socials so you get to know more people that way. You may find yourself naturally meeting more people in your second year.

    What medical school are you at? PM me if you'd rather.

    And don't forget that your uni are there to help and will have helped lots of other people in your position previously, don't overlook them as a resource!

    x
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    (Original post by mv2010)
    Hello thank you for your post. I don't know if I have depression but these past few months I've been thinking that I might have it but I'm scared to go to the GP in case they think I'm being stupid. Good luck - I hope you enjoy your new uni better!!! Yeah I think transferring might make it better - I think it's very hard for medicine but I will do some research into it. Thanks for the suggestion - may be the book will help me. I am just so sick of feeling down all the time.
    I didn't do medicine, I did Speech and Language Therapy. I hated the first year, stuck it out because my Dad said I should not give up at the first hurdle -and then went on to love it. We started to do more problem-based activities so the work started to make sense.

    I do recall feeling lonely at times, especially on Saturday nights when it seemed that everyone else was out having fun except me. Eventually I made friends and I passed.

    You sound like a quiet sort of person who will eventually find a good group of friends, until then keep your head down and study. Get some good results and people will respect you. Go to your GP though. He/she will not laugh. You will be speaking to someone who was once a medic.
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    (Original post by Gallabay)
    Hey OP,

    On top of it all, I'd had to leave my horse at home because of not having the time at University, which made everything even worse.


    Is this someone who thought that there are stables provided in halls???:confused:
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    It's not uni / medicine you hate. It's just that you are lonely and have not made friends. I am not big on alcohol myself. You can join societies like others have said. Your friends don't have to be medics. I am sure there are plenty of other medics in your situation.
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    (Original post by lekky)
    Hey,

    I think you'd be surprised at how many people feel this way and just don't admit it. I certainly have medic friends that are unsure they want to go back in September.

    I know it's hard to determine why you are unhappy but do you think it is mostly stemming from a lack of friendships? Or is it more about the course? Or deeper? How did you do in first year?

    I think you might find that when you are sharing a house with these girls you'll spend more time together - if they see their boyfriends at the weekend you'll be able to hang out every evening, you can suggest cooking together or going to the cinema etc.

    Treasurer position may help too, just fake it till you make it with the confidence and be super friendly to everyone. If you've got the time think about joining another society? The sporty ones tend to be pretty social, or join ones that have lots of socials so you get to know more people that way. You may find yourself naturally meeting more people in your second year.

    What medical school are you at? PM me if you'd rather.

    And don't forget that your uni are there to help and will have helped lots of other people in your position previously, don't overlook them as a resource!

    x
    Hello,

    I love my course but i just don't like my uni so it's not the course as i've passed my first year as well. I am quiet and i know that it takes me a while to form close friendships - i've moved schools thrice so i am used to being new at a place etc but the problem is on my course, i feel like there is no one for me to be friends with because they are all very different from me. My course is so small that i more or less know everyone and what they are like. I've decided that i am going to join as many societies as i can to meet more like minded people and use my treasurer position to make as many friends as i can. But, i can't deny that ever since i started there, i feel like i'm stuck in a rut and i regret it. I think i will make more friends next year but i dont think i will ever be happy there. I am not sure that i fit in at my uni - i think i applied to the wrong place. Like someone said before, may be i feel like this because i'm depressed - i'm not sure.....
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    (Original post by mv2010)
    Hello,

    I love my course but i just don't like my uni so it's not the course as i've passed my first year as well. I am quiet and i know that it takes me a while to form close friendships - i've moved schools thrice so i am used to being new at a place etc but the problem is on my course, i feel like there is no one for me to be friends with because they are all very different from me. My course is so small that i more or less know everyone and what they are like. I've decided that i am going to join as many societies as i can to meet more like minded people and use my treasurer position to make as many friends as i can. But, i can't deny that ever since i started there, i feel like i'm stuck in a rut and i regret it. I think i will make more friends next year but i dont think i will ever be happy there. I am not sure that i fit in at my uni - i think i applied to the wrong place. Like someone said before, may be i feel like this because i'm depressed -
    i'm not sure.....
    I don't think you should say that you don't fit in at your uni: honestly, uni is mademof 1000s of people, and 99.9% of the time you can find like-minded people no matter what your niche is xp
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    would anyone say that transferring may be a good idea for me although i am certain that the chances of me getting a place to transfer to are very low?
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    (Original post by mv2010)
    would anyone say that transferring may be a good idea for me although i am certain that the chances of me getting a place to transfer to are very low?
    Well, I'd look into transferring, send the emails and everything, and then take it from there. If no one excepts you, then I guess you're stuck (ofc you have other options, switching course in order go to another Uni, dropping out altogether and reapplying for first year, taking a year out and then resuming your course, dropping out altogether etc), but I'm gonna guess you're not interested in any of those?

    Either way, I'd stop thinking pessimistically because there's a good chance you're sticking your whole course out at the place you are, so start thinking pragmatically. Think about what you're going to do to make things better. Are you going to approach people more, talk to people more on your course, go to more societies? You're not the first person to have a **** time in their first year and you won't be the last.
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    (Original post by AlligatorTears)
    Well, I'd look into transferring, send the emails and everything, and then take it from there. If no one excepts you, then I guess you're stuck (ofc you have other options, switching course in order go to another Uni, dropping out altogether and reapplying for first year, taking a year out and then resuming your course, dropping out altogether etc), but I'm gonna guess you're not interested in any of those?

    Either way, I'd stop thinking pessimistically because there's a good chance you're sticking your whole course out at the place you are, so start thinking pragmatically. Think about what you're going to do to make things better. Are you going to approach people more, talk to people more on your course, go to more societies? You're not the first person to have a **** time in their first year and you won't be the last.
    Hello thank you for your post - i found it very helpful. I have a plan now - I know Kings accepts transfers but they only have 2 places so I am not hoping i will get in. However I will apply just so that I don't regret it later but at the same time, I am going to join more societies next year, be more friendly and less quiet. I've found a few societies that I am interested in. Hopefully this will help me next year. Just worried that people are going to be reluctant to talk to me because i've been quiet this year. Is this likely?
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    (Original post by mv2010)
    Hello thank you for your post - i found it very helpful. I have a plan now - I know Kings accepts transfers but they only have 2 places so I am not hoping i will get in. However I will apply just so that I don't regret it later but at the same time, I am going to join more societies next year, be more friendly and less quiet. I've found a few societies that I am interested in. Hopefully this will help me next year. Just worried that people are going to be reluctant to talk to me because i've been quiet this year. Is this likely?
    Sounds like a good plan. I've just finished my first year and ahven't had the best time either, so I can't talk as someone who's been there done that and found the light at the end of the tunnel. I can offer my perspective though.

    Societies are a good move because you already have an immediate interest with the people that are there. Also, having an actually activity makes it easier to socialise. I did lots of socs this year gone (just not regularly) and made heaps of acquaintances through them. People are friendly and considering no one is gonna know you there, there's no chance they'll hold your first year against you.

    In terms of your course.. First year is so chaotic and people are trying so hard to find their own bearing that I don't think they really even notice the quiet kid much or have time to mull over it and bear a grudge. People like having friends and if you find someone you get on with by making the effort, they're going to want to be you're friend. I do think some people are already quite comfortable and have their rough social group sorted thereby making themselves less forward, but I don't believe that most people are closed off because of that. It's been a year, lets not overestimate what can happen in a year.

    Just, get out as much as possible exposing yourself to new people without getting exhausted and managing to let your degree slide. And talk, push yourself to talk. What you're experiencing is a common problem, Uni's a big thing, but if you take the initiative and make an effort there's little chance it won't pay off.
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    Lots of people feel like this. First year is always strange, especially if your not the extroverted type. You're in med school for 5/6 years...your bound to make friends eventually!
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    I didn't really make any friends in my first year until I joined a society in the second semester, people are generally a lot friendlier than you think, and you didn't need to wait for a new year to start to join a club. Look at your university's clubs and societies, email the clubs and find out when and where they meet, it is easy if you try but you need to make the initial effort. All the clubs want more members because they get more money and I'm sure any sports club would like a future doctor looking after them. Throughout my five years of university I tried something like 12 clubs and societies, especially if you are shy then it is the best way to meet people. Most of these clubs will end up in the pub afterwards or have a social night arranged.

    You are not at school anymore, you are an adult and you can make friends and meet people anytime you want. You don't need to put yourself in a box and limit your experiences, or let anyone else limit them for you. You sound as if you still have the mindset of a teenager, university is not an extension of school with its cliques and social ladders, it is entirely different and is wide open for the taking if you really want it.
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    I don't think med school is a good 'advert' for medicine as a career. Those who, at med school, all seemed to be very cliquey, are very different on their own as doctors: some stay in the same cliquey groups (presumably a bit like having comfort blankets)... others make new friends in broader groups. That seems to start happening in undergraduate clinical years and just continues postgrad. Clinical years are an eye opener - all of a sudden, different things matter (and become respected).

    Many of the qualities which 'shy' students have will serve them extremely well as doctors: being over-confident is not a good thing for junior docs.

    Find other ways to interact with the real world (internet, local clubs/societies) as well as finding uni societies which may interest you. Be who you are rather than trying to be who you think you should be. Most of all, don't imagine that you know, now, enough of what makes a good doctor (or otherwise) to judge whether or not you will be!

    Of my trainees (there have been quite a lot now), those who think they are not good doctors are often the best, those who believe they are great are often not. It takes all sorts - and there is no one 'type' that makes a good doc.

    If you want to be a doctor, stick at it, it'll be worth it.
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    You've described me exactly OP.

    I'm starting university this september.

    I am quite reserved and don't find the clubbing or drinking scene appealing which will be a slight issue since the uni i'm transferring to is VERY big on social life and that sort of environment.

    Personally, I'd just prefer to go out with a small group of mates to a restaurant, cinema, the park, anything but the party scene-I felt so fake and awkward even when I went to a few clubs/parties a while ago with a few friends that I vowed never to put myself in that position again.

    Highlight your interests and use them to meet others. I really do enjoy sports - netball, badminton (I even want to try squash!) and music-I'm a flutist, but I know that their socials are really heavy on drinking, which has made me a little hesitant to join. I love music, all types, which has really helped me to relate to very different types of people; some are a little taken back as to people I get along with.

    To be totally honest, I've found it very difficult to have a good time as a non-drinker when everyone else is drinking merrily away. However, although I am quiet, I do have a sense of humor and often make witty remarks, which has really helped me to make friends outside of the drinking culture.

    I've been doing a lot of reflecting and have learnt that internally, I am a strong person- I can stand my ground because I know the things I like and don't like, I know that my yes is 'yes' and my no is a firm 'no'. I know quite a number of medics on my course will the sporty, social types- fine, that's who they are. Doesn't stop me from saying hi, getting along with them etc.

    At the end of the day, I am university because I love medicine, I want to be a doctor, I am greatly looking forward to the junior and specialty years and have decided to let nothing lower my self esteem or make me feel inferior during these 5/6 years.

    OP, just be yourself. Do push yourself to talk to others- whether in the corridor, in anatomy classes, whatever- smile, remind yourself why you are here and be happy. I know cliques will exsist when I start this september, but there are so many non-medics to make friends with! Study, work hard of course, but once in a while, take a walk round the campus or into town. Go to the museum, look around- I like reading, taking in scenery and so the more I go out, the more I experience, the more people I see, the more I learn, and the more oppotunities available to make friends.

    Hope this helps! x
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    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    Speaking as a non-drinker, I would say it's terrible - there's nothing for you to really go other than watch your friends enjoy the night, because there's little enjoyable about clubbing itself.

    Last time I tried, I left halfway through. No one even realised.
    That's not true. I go clubbing sober and I have amazing time every single time i go out.
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    (Original post by vutterman)
    That's not true. I go clubbing sober and I have amazing time every single time i go out.
    that's what he said..

    I, on the other hand, am always tee -total and enjoy myself simply cos my friends are extremely amusing when drunk - and I enjoy the music playing!

    OP it will take a while to "fit in" for some, and for others it'll be a doddle! I found the hardest thing was finding the right group of friends - once you find them you will find that you really settle in! So what if clubbing is not something you enjoy - there are plenty of other things to do etc..

    (though i must say this, one of friends ABSOLUTELY abhorred clubbing, and we went on holiday with her so we had to drag her clubbing else she'd be alone in the flat - first night she hated it and played on her phone, second night she really got into it simply because she became familiar with the music!!! Maybe that's what you need instead? )

    Hope things are better
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    (Original post by Star_struck)
    that's what he said..

    I, on the other hand, am always tee -total and enjoy myself simply cos my friends are extremely amusing when drunk - and I enjoy the music playing!

    OP it will take a while to "fit in" for some, and for others it'll be a doddle! I found the hardest thing was finding the right group of friends - once you find them you will find that you really settle in! So what if clubbing is not something you enjoy - there are plenty of other things to do etc..

    (though i must say this, one of friends ABSOLUTELY abhorred clubbing, and we went on holiday with her so we had to drag her clubbing else she'd be alone in the flat - first night she hated it and played on her phone, second night she really got into it simply because she became familiar with the music!!! Maybe that's what you need instead? )

    Hope things are better
    Hello,

    Yeh I've realised now that finding the right group of friends is what i am having trouble with so i'm going to try a lot of societies and hopefully next year will be much better and if not, atleast i would have tried.
 
 
 
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