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    no i don't do jokes
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    A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.

    One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

    Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy,
    he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

    She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support.

    One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

    "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."

    "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.

    The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

    On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."
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    There are two things I don't like about Nick Clegg - his face.
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    From a legend in my maths class:
    'Samaritans help everyone? What about if you're a Jew?'
    Only makes sense if you remember you're RS teacher explaining the conflict between Jews and Samaritans 2000 years ago


    And even then it isn't that funny.
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    I was going to read the jokes posted here, but I decided to go to sickipedia and see them all on there.


    I phoned up the Lib Dems the other day asking for a manifesto,

    'I'm sorry, we've sold out'

    'I know, but can I have a manifesto please?'
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    (Original post by iainthegreat)
    I was going to read the jokes posted here, but I decided to go to sickipedia and see them all on there.
    Your sig made me laugh more than any of the jokes in this thread. :rofl:
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    University of Birmingham - Medical School Admissions Policy.
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    Gold (Au) walked into a bar and the barman said you're looking good the gold replied Au!

    A guy says to a girl "I think I must be a proton and you must be a neutron because we definitely have a strong attraction"
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    (Original post by KrispyKatieKreme)
    University of Birmingham - Medical School Admissions Policy.
    Hahah.

    Loving the sig by the way, love krispy kreme doughnuts!!!
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    I farted in a lift the other day, it was wrong on so many levels.
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    (Original post by fletchdd02)
    Gold (Au) walked into a bar and the barman said you're looking good the gold replied Au!

    A guy says to a girl "I think I must be a proton and you must be a neutron because we definitely have a strong attraction"
    Fail. There is no strong attraction between neutrons and protons.
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    What's pink and covered in cobwebs?







    Maddy's bike.
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    (Original post by lonelykatana)
    So, it finally seems that David Cameron is raising the uni fees.
    Not to worry, the last thing he tried to raise died at the age of six.


    Dont hate me. Hate sickipedia.
    You're a bit late with this one!

    Bye.
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    (Original post by vedderfan94)
    Fail. There is no strong attraction between neutrons and protons.

    Why isn't there?

    Positive and negative
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    France.
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    (Original post by LazyWorseThanInfidel)
    I farted in a lift the other day, it was wrong on so many levels.
    Live at the Apollo!
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    (Original post by fletchdd02)
    Why isn't there?

    Positive and negative
    The clue is in the name. Neutr-on.

    Electrons have negative charge. :fyi:
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    How do Indians get to the moon?

    They press the red button *pointing to forehead*


    LOLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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    Guy 1: That failed
    Guy 2: So did your mums abortion

    lol
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    A woman is nagging her husband for breast enhancement.
    He, being a cheapskate, advises her "There's no need for expensive implants - why don't you just take a roll of toilet paper and rub it over you breasts?"
    "Toilet paper?......How is rubbing toilet paper over my breasts going to increase them?"
    "I don't know, but it sure worked for your arse"
 
 
 
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