But if you were with one of them already, you're(Original post by ilovecoffee)
i dont condone cheating but sometimes it is possible to truly love two people at the same time.
a) not being loving to guy A because you're cheating on him.
b) not being loving to guy B because you're not dedicating yourself to him and won't commit to him fully.
So I'm not sure. Perhaps it is possible to be in love with 2 people at the same time, but if you cheat on them it is a different matter altogether. (Kind of the same as the difference between finding someone attractive and actually doing anything with them.)
People who cheat when in a relationship Watch
- 21-12-2010 16:56
- Thread Starter
- 25-12-2010 03:42
- 25-12-2010 04:23
I would split cheaters into these categories:
- The self-denier: somebody who tells themselves that their relationship is still strong, they didn't intend to cheat, they were just led on by somebody else, and its that person who is really the guilty party. This type is usually female.
- The utilitarian: somebody who takes the approach of "what they don't know can't hurt them". This person often has a short-term view about cheating, often this is the type of LDR cheat....we're miles apart right now, I'm lonely and want some intimacy and it's here on my doorstep...as long as she doesn't find out, we'll just pick things up when we're closer to each other. This type is usually male because it relies on the kind of logical rationalisation more in line with a male mind. It also only works if the person has slight psychopathic tendencies - not that they're going to be a serial killer - psychopathic tendencies mean the absence of empathy or conscience....the utilitarian cheat does not get troubled by his conscience
- The hypocrite: the worst type. The type of cheat who has a high opinion of themselves and wants to take opportunities available with the opposite sex, they struggle to turn down attention, although they will try to make sure they evade detection. However they are usually incredibly paranoid about their partner cheating on them and are often controlling, and if they find their partner cheats on them they are outraged. Probably men and women fit this type. I knew a lad at uni who slept with 4 different girls whilst in a 2 year relationship with his gf, and openly talked about this to his mates, then ended up missing a term of uni through depression when he found out his gf had cheated on him, he couldn't relate the fact that he had been a cheat as well, he only saw the betrayal.
- The unhappy relationship. This is someone who is unhappy in their relationship and wants to end it. I reckon out of student aged people the first three are the most common but this is the biggest one for older people especially if married and with kids, because they have reasons not to end it for the children etc. But you do get some younger people who are afraid to end it with their partner because they don't want to be single or they fear it will crush their partner, so they keep up the sham relationship and look for emotional/physical intimacy elsewhere.
- 25-12-2010 04:33
a ONE off drunken/lonely sad mistake can be rectified, people do have moments of weakness
a continuous affair is not. that is not a mistake it is a continuous thinking motivated decision
and if someone cheats on me, well.......... let's just say i'll need alibis.