Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

People who cheat when in a relationship Watch


    (Original post by ilovecoffee)
    i dont condone cheating but sometimes it is possible to truly love two people at the same time.
    But if you were with one of them already, you're
    a) not being loving to guy A because you're cheating on him.
    b) not being loving to guy B because you're not dedicating yourself to him and won't commit to him fully.

    So I'm not sure. Perhaps it is possible to be in love with 2 people at the same time, but if you cheat on them it is a different matter altogether. (Kind of the same as the difference between finding someone attractive and actually doing anything with them.)
    • Thread Starter

    (Original post by TravelGuru)
    Talking from experience?

    I would split cheaters into these categories:
    - The self-denier: somebody who tells themselves that their relationship is still strong, they didn't intend to cheat, they were just led on by somebody else, and its that person who is really the guilty party. This type is usually female.

    - The utilitarian: somebody who takes the approach of "what they don't know can't hurt them". This person often has a short-term view about cheating, often this is the type of LDR cheat....we're miles apart right now, I'm lonely and want some intimacy and it's here on my doorstep...as long as she doesn't find out, we'll just pick things up when we're closer to each other. This type is usually male because it relies on the kind of logical rationalisation more in line with a male mind. It also only works if the person has slight psychopathic tendencies - not that they're going to be a serial killer - psychopathic tendencies mean the absence of empathy or conscience....the utilitarian cheat does not get troubled by his conscience

    - The hypocrite: the worst type. The type of cheat who has a high opinion of themselves and wants to take opportunities available with the opposite sex, they struggle to turn down attention, although they will try to make sure they evade detection. However they are usually incredibly paranoid about their partner cheating on them and are often controlling, and if they find their partner cheats on them they are outraged. Probably men and women fit this type. I knew a lad at uni who slept with 4 different girls whilst in a 2 year relationship with his gf, and openly talked about this to his mates, then ended up missing a term of uni through depression when he found out his gf had cheated on him, he couldn't relate the fact that he had been a cheat as well, he only saw the betrayal.

    - The unhappy relationship. This is someone who is unhappy in their relationship and wants to end it. I reckon out of student aged people the first three are the most common but this is the biggest one for older people especially if married and with kids, because they have reasons not to end it for the children etc. But you do get some younger people who are afraid to end it with their partner because they don't want to be single or they fear it will crush their partner, so they keep up the sham relationship and look for emotional/physical intimacy elsewhere.

    a ONE off drunken/lonely sad mistake can be rectified, people do have moments of weakness

    a continuous affair is not. that is not a mistake it is a continuous thinking motivated decision

    and if someone cheats on me, well.......... let's just say i'll need alibis.
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 25, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.