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How can I find a half-decent man? Is it really too much to ask? Watch

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    (Original post by im so academic)
    And men won't get annoyed if a woman does that, right? (For future reference).
    Are you kidding me? Most men will think they've hit the jackpot! :P
    Well, unless they're super-engrossed in the book they're reading. Don't mess with a guy when he's reading Harry Potter.
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    Are you happy in yourself with your own life? People become much more attractive when they are genuinely happy with the place that they're in and with their own company rather than seeming desperate to meet someone.
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    (Original post by Sarky)
    Are you happy in yourself with your own life? People become much more attractive when they are genuinely happy with the place that they're in and with their own company rather than seeming desperate to meet someone.
    So what are you supposed to do if you're not genuinely happy with your own company?
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    (Original post by Psyk)
    So what are you supposed to do if you're not genuinely happy with your own company?
    There isn't an easy answer to that, but sitting around moaning definitely won't help. For me, I found taking some time out of being in any sort of romantic relationship really useful. I took some time to be selfish and did things that I enjoyed, purely for my own satisfaction. I went on holiday by myself, spent some time with my friends and thought about what I really wanted from my life. I didn't come up with all of the answers, but the result of that was that I came across as someone who was single but content rather than single and desperate.

    It took me a long time, but I am honestly happy with my own company. There are things about being in a relationship that I sometimes miss but if I meet someone now and we like each other, i'd be with them because I want to, not because i'm scared of being alone.

    I'm also more realistic about relationships. I know more about myself and I also know what I would find unattractive. I'm not as bowled over by that initial lust thing that can be so blinding at the beginning of a relationship. Now i'm much more interested in what will be left once that fades away.
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    (Original post by irrasya)
    I'm the kind who loves to spend the day in a library, or go for country walks and come back home to a romantic meal with a Pinot Grigio.
    Join the club! But im spoken for...
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    (Original post by Sarky)
    There isn't an easy answer to that, but sitting around moaning definitely won't help. For me, I found taking some time out of being in any sort of romantic relationship really useful. I took some time to be selfish and did things that I enjoyed, purely for my own satisfaction. I went on holiday by myself, spent some time with my friends and thought about what I really wanted from my life. I didn't come up with all of the answers, but the result of that was that I came across as someone who was single but content rather than single and desperate.
    Well I wish I could have that attitude. I've only had one brief relationship so I've had plenty of time to contemplate what I want out of life. And most of it involves being in a relationship. All the things I enjoy doing by myself (which is very little), I could still do in a relationship, so I'll always feel like single life is inferior to being in a relationship.

    Funnily enough sitting around moaning about it is exactly what has helped me in the past
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    Tell me about it. But i'm not gonna sit in my room and stew and whine and moan about it all; I don't really mind being single as long as i'm not surrounded with people hopelessly in love :P
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    Bridget jones isnt real life, its very rare you will find some floppy haired Colin Firth type bloke wining and dining you and talking like he has various fruit based objects up his arse.
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    (Original post by irrasya)
    Here we go again, another Friday night in front of Live at the Apollo with a ready-meal. I could have gone out with some people from my old school tonight if I'd have fancied ending up dancing on the table with my knickers on my head. :shifty:

    Oh my life. Is this really life post-university? Where are all the decent men? I'm the kind of lady who loves to spend the day in a library, or go for country walks and come back home to a romantic meal with a Pinot Grigio. Why can't I find like-minded individuals? Instead I'm surrounded by people who wouldn't know elegance or sophistication if it bit them on the bottom.

    How can I find a half-decent man?
    I dunno, short of hanging out with like minded people I guess. You're not going to find them stuck inside sat in front of the TV.

    If not, there's always internet dating, or you could post your location on here and you might get some offers... if you haven't already, sure there are plenty of blokes interested in that stuff.
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    (Original post by James Gregory)
    I guess I should stop reading threads if I know they will merely annoy me, but whatever, I've got too much free time on my hands.

    This is such a false dichotomy - 1. someone cooking you a romantic meal with a Pinot Grigio (whatever the hell that is) vs 2. men who get pissed every night and are afraid of intelligent conversation. The vast, vast majority of men are in neither of these categories. If you have very high standards and are holding out for someone who is attractive, wealthy, enjoys nice meals with posh wine, etc etc, then that's up to you, but this post is no less stupid or sexist than the raving misogynistic ones about "all girls are shallow ****s" that get started by boys here.
    +1

    I don't think there is much to add to this post apart from the comment that there are so many men and women of the same mindset as the OP here and it would seem that too many are either too stuck up or idealistic to get together with each other. I mean come on, sitting around like Bridget Jones eating microwave dinners and watching a bit of telly isn't exactly sophisticated either but then even intellectuals need the occaisional night off.
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    (Original post by irrasya)
    .....
    I ask myself the same question quite often OP

    :rofl::p:
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    (Original post by irrasya)
    I just keep wondering how many lager-swilling losers I've got to go through to find Mr Right, and it's really depressing me.
    Albeit probably coming from a far younger person whose context isn't exactly that of dating 'lager-swilling losers', but I felt exactly the same way... I felt that there was no one I could really 'connect' with.

    But the truth is, the moment I accepted that looking wasn't going to work, as you know that that won't work if it already hasn't (it's weird to explain... But, hopefully the message is portrayed somehow), things just fell into place.

    People say this isn't that ideal world where everything works perfectly... Well, it isn't if you think that way. But some small things just happen if you do... And that ended up with me meeting the person I could see (and still do) spending the rest of my life with.

    So, to answer your question: 0. You don't need to 'go through' anybody to meet the right person. You just need to step back from 'looking' and let it so you meet each other.

    Try without trying is the easiest (but most confusing) way of putting it @[email protected]
 
 
 
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