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    (Original post by Peace0fM1nd)
    it was in response to her post 'please develop on why i should...', in retrospect i shudn't have repeated her choice of word 'develop' in my response i can see what u mean now. lol. ps this is typical - the guy is the perv where the girl is innocent just typical
    lol but you can't deny it sounds dodgy from her point of view haha!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i really want to bt its nt easy.i dnt want to marry anyone and prior go getting engaged, i will have to get to know the guy, right? Bt then during this period of getting to know each other,i will be committing a sin, no? Im just sooo confused. What if i believe a guy when he says he wants to marry me, bt then it turns out tht he was nt being honest? I dnt want to make a fool of myself
    It is permissible for you to talk and get to know someone in the presence of your wali (father/guardian/brother). You can also ask your brother, father or any male mahrem (close male relative) to talk to the guy and find out what he's like. Tell your family you want to get married and inshallah they should help find a potential husband for you and invite him round for you to get to know him.

    Otherwise, be patient. We have plans but Allah (Swt) has plans better.

    Mashallah keep your modesty girl! You have my respect. Salaams.

    EDIT:
    Also, I would like to add that before marriage, its haram for non-mehrams (men and women who are not closely related) to touch each other or speak to each other casually (without good necessary reason). The ends does not justify the means. Inshallah keep your modesty and only speak to non-mehram for marriage purposes in the presence of your wali.
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    (Original post by Love My Fiance)
    hey there, I know exactly how you feel, before I found my love, I had never had a bf, i thought theres soo many pricks out there how do i KNOW for sure if the guy who i go out with wont cheat on me, lie, be unfaighful, or is just using me for sex so i said to myself I iwll wait till i find the one guy who i KNOW will want to marry me in the long un, and all the guys that had liked me were pricks, they didnt want a serious relationship, until I found my soulmate, we were friends first, we used to talk for hours on end nearly every day and i really liked him and knew he liked me too but we never told each other, one day we thought we would meet up (hes a very close family friend of my aunites so we've seen each other round parties n stuff since we were little, hes 22 and im 18 but we never actually spoke to each other after not seeing each oher for 4 years when we saw each other at a wedding and he didnt recognise me lol!) so when we met up, we were talkin n hugging then suddenly we kissed, it wasnt even planned, so since then, we knew that we wanted to marry each other, he had never had a gf before yet alone KISSED another girl the way i had never had a bf or even kissed a guy, he told me how he always wnated to be with someone who was not a gf, but so much more than just that, someone he knew he would marry n when he found me he realised it was me and thats exactly how i felt about him.
    He is a very religious guy, prays 5 times a day, doesnt smoke drink alcohol go clubbing nothing haram and when we got together he made me into a beter muslim and now i pray 5 times a day too thanks to him, although he never forced me to i asked him to teach me. even though we are both religious now, people may think we're haram coz we have each other but if you really want to be loved like I did, then do what I did, dont just go out with any old guy, find a guy who wants to BE with you, someone who doesnt just want a gf but someone who will want to marry you, and if hes a decent genuine guy who says he will then go for it, not someone who says "oh u wanna go out with me", just make sure the go you give your heart to is a guy who you know will want to marry you, that way i wouldnt say its haram, because your with someone who you know will marry you, thats my all my religious hijabi girls dont have an issue with me and my soulmate because they know we will get marrried. I DONT ever use any online sites! it says int he quran even before we are born allah knows who we will marry, and u should never go looking for love, let love come toyou, if you go looking for it you will never find true love, be patient, i waited 16 years until I found him, that was 2 years ago and he waited 20 years, its different for eveyone, and you never know, your soulmate could be right under your nose! it could be someone you NEVER would have thought you would fall in love me, like me! i never thought in a million years i would end up loving him but I did, so it could be anyone!
    if you wanna ask me anything feel free to message me im here to help! xxxx

    awwwww thats soooooooo cute xx
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    (Original post by qasidb)
    you're being a bit hypocritical with that last sentence you just said.
    Missing out a word because I typed too fast is no where the same as typing as the OP did... No not hypocritical what.so.ever
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    (Original post by bluebell100)
    It is permissible for you to talk and get to know someone in the presence of your wali (father/guardian/brother). You can also ask your brother, father or any male mahrem (close male relative) to talk to the guy and find out what he's like. Tell your family you want to get married and inshallah they should help find a potential husband for you and invite him round for you to get to know him.

    Otherwise, be patient. We have plans but Allah (Swt) has plans better.

    Mashallah keep your modesty girl! You have my respect. Salaams.
    defo the best advice you can get OP.
    • #4
    #4

    I know two hijabi girls that say they will have sex with their partner before marriage
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know two hijabi girls that say they will have sex with their partner before marriage
    Many girls wearing hijabs nowadays are worse than girls not wearing hijabs. it's really shameful, i mean if you're like that then what's the point in the hijab? social statement? i mean i'm a guy and i wouldn't do it before marriage! it's just so silly.
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    (Original post by ash92:))
    Many girls wearing hijabs nowadays are worse than girls not wearing hijabs. it's really shameful, i mean if you're like that then what's the point in the hijab? social statement? i mean i'm a guy and i wouldn't do it before marriage! it's just so silly.
    This! It's a shame really :sigh:
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    (Original post by catty khan)
    awwwww thats soooooooo cute xx
    awww thanks! hehe xxx
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    I take a modern stance on Islam - growing up, especially in the West - it's not viable not to "date"...But I guess I just go on what my parents have taught me and they're quite liberal.
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    Marriage comes first. Love comes after lol
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    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    I take a modern stance on Islam - growing up, especially in the West - it's not viable not to "date"...But I guess I just go on what my parents have taught me and they're quite liberal.
    i disagree my friend. you can just speak to people casually to get to know them. i think going on a date is a bit too far personally.
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    just don't be religious anymore

    if your religion requires you make such sacrifices and you choose to follow it, then surely that's it? you just have to sacrifice?
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    (Original post by ash92:))
    i disagree my friend. you can just speak to people casually to get to know them. i think going on a date is a bit too far personally.
    "Date" is just a word. It's important to properly get to know somebody - their likes, dislikes, good/bad habits rather than marrying them after a few casual conversations and having a miserable marriage. If this is solved by going out (just like going out with a male friend) and getting to know them better then so be it.
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    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    "Date" is just a word. It's important to properly get to know somebody - their likes, dislikes, good/bad habits rather than marrying them after a few casual conversations and having a miserable marriage. If this is solved by going out (just like going out with a male friend) and getting to know them better then so be it.
    yes, you're right there. i guess it's just discouraged because one thing leads to another really. the guy and girl might not stay within their limits and stuff.
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    (Original post by Nizzay!)
    Marriage comes first. Love comes after lol
    no, your wrong, how on earth could you say marriage comes first? so your stupid enough to marry someone you don't even know if you love them?? well mate, if you wanna have an unhappy loveless marriage then by all means do, but the way you think is so backwards, this is the 21st century people marry for LOVE
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    (Original post by arabie)
    just don't be religious anymore

    if your religion requires you make such sacrifices and you choose to follow it, then surely that's it? you just have to sacrifice?
    i'm afraid i don't agree with this. religion should mean more to you than something that you can scrap whenever you feel like it.

    LOVE the signature though, aww...
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    (Original post by ash92:))
    Many girls wearing hijabs nowadays are worse than girls not wearing hijabs. it's really shameful, i mean if you're like that then what's the point in the hijab? social statement? i mean i'm a guy and i wouldn't do it before marriage! it's just so silly.
    Definitely! I have a friend who wears a hijab yet is dating someone MUCH older that herself..It's really upsetting to see her making such a big mistake..but also the fact that she's giving such a bad impression of other girls who wear hijab who are the complete opposite.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    im 21, never had a bf bc its haram but i am fed up of being single. What can i do?
    Plz cnt advise me to disregard or quit my religion. Also, i would never use a website for single muslims. I prefer a traditionsl approach. My big problem is tht it is difficult to approach me as i am scared of committing a sin. I dnt want to disrespect my religio but i really want to love and be loved.
    Find a Muslim man with good manners, good income, good education, good family. Get to know him a little. If you get along and feel a connection, marry him. You're 21 years old.
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    i'll love you
 
 
 
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