On a purely intellectual level I understand that both parties should make some effort. That would be the case if we lived in an ideal world. But we don't. In reality those with a "problem" are expected to change. Or simply those who are in the minority. The Student Life forum here on TSR is a prime example of that. You can see tens of dozens of threads where shy people, those who don't drink or go clubbing, etc., fear that they might not fit in when they get to university. And the responses are all along the lines of go try some clubbing; try some alcohol, it's not that bad; just strike up conversations with people, everyone's a little nervous. And so on. You don't see anyone suggesting tea parties with friends when alcohol is the trouble, there's not a lot of "go to the movies instead" when clubbing is the culprit, and freely accepting shyness doesn't really happen either. Point is, the "different" people are the ones expected to change, not the other way around. There are exceptions, of course.(Original post by AshleyT)
I think it has to be both.
It can be hard for neruotypicals at times to accomodate those with Aspergers, for example trying not to make changes, or perhaps if you're with a friend avoiding busy areas as you know your friend with AS can't handle them.
Neurotypicals definitely need to put out effort in understanding those with AS, being less judgemental etc but that's something in a way that takes learning or comes naturally...but yea, it can be difficult to accomodate everything all the time. Like if i reeeeally want to do something spontaneous and i'm with a friend with AS who hates spontaneous stuff and can't deal with it...i cant do it.
I think this stuff should be taught in schools though tbh, how both can learn and work together - it may also help reduce bullying when the neruotypical children have more understanding of those with Aspergers =).
I agree with eye contact there - one of my close friends, one of the most typical Aspergers you will ever meet - actually doesnt have much problem with eyecontact.
And it's nice you have accepted yourself so well =)
Thank you. For some odd reason that I don't understand having Asperger's is kind of liberating. Until now I have always tried to fit in. I forced myself to try dating because at a certain age you're supposed to do that, I tried to get into the whole clothes-hair-makeup frenzy of most girls, but it doesn't come naturally to me, I tried to be a people person and understand relationships and psychology and all that "crap", but the truth is that is holds no interest for me. And then the diagnosis happened and now all of a sudden I no longer feel like I have to be a certain way and try to fit in. It makes no sense because differences aren't actually accepted that well, so by not trying to change I'm actually making things harder for myself, but it doesn't feel like it.
... and the ones that won't