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I'm sick being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. . . Watch

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    As a frequent patron of night clubs, I find myself fascinated with people's interest in 'pulling' and from my observations I have come up with the following hypothesis;

    If you dress in a certain way / present a certain image (ie, that of someone who is 'loose' or 'easy' or a 'slut' then you will be treated accordingly.

    f you don't want to be treated like this and want to be respected then you should dress in a respectable way.
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    (Original post by tinshed)
    don't dress like a slut. if you are there to have a good time with your friends wear no make up, jeans and a baggy t-shirt. otherwise don't complain. if you dress provocatively then you deserve what comes your way. it's as simple as that.
    This made me feel physically sick...Why on earth should we have to wear 'no makeup and a baggy tshirt' just so we don't get sexually assaulted?! It's up to me who I choose to let touch me and no I don't dress like a slut when I go out, but I wear dresses and makeup but that doesn't not mean that I am giving the green light to every man in a club to touch me however they want to. If a Gay guy came up and started touching these straight men in the same way they feel it is acceptable to do to us they would hit the roof. So how men can think it's acceptable to act this way towards women is unfathomable to me.

    OP I totally agree with you, last week I told his guy 4 times to leave me alone, and he still ignored me. I then physcially pushed him away, and all he did was move onto my best friend! It's utterly disgusting and it has reached a level where the only way I feel comfortable going out is with my male friends. But I don't see why this should be the case!

    I had a very similar rant to the one you posted in my tutorial on feminism two weeks ago and all the males in the room looked terrified by then end!

    I don't know what it's like where you live, but I know that in most of the clubs in Belfast they have bouncers around the dancefloor, and telling them usually results in the guy in question being removed from the club. Also me and my friends always try and dance where there is more space, i.e. near the edge/front of the dancefloor which reduces the number of 'sorry just need to squeeze past you and while I'm at it I may grope you' incidents! I respect a man if he comes over and talks to me while at the bar, or asks me if I want to dance with him or even comes over and asks me if I want a drink, because that gives me the chance to accept or decline. But anything where women don't have a choice is not okay!

    And ignore the 'wear a paper bag over your face and a sack because otherwise men can't help themselves' comments you should be able to wear whatever you want wheverver you want and not be intimidated or assaulted. If men can stop themselves from molesting me in a club then I can#t stop myself from kneeing them in the balls when they come up to me Now I feel much better about the impending nigth out tonight so thank you! haha
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon as I know people on here.

    I'm getting really sick of being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. Really sick of it. When I go to a club I don't go to pull, I go there to just chill out with my friends and dance a bit. I really love clubbing for that reason and don't want to stop going. But it seems that everytime I go out at the moment it turns into an unpleasant experience as I end up with loads of creeps following me, touching me, one guy even shoved his tongue down my throat without warning the other night. . . I always say "no" or "f*** off" or "I'm not interested" but still they pursue me, try to grind with me or something else.

    Guys just don't take "No" for an answer, even if you say it repeatedly. Hell I even had to slap a guy recently and scream, "GET OFF ME!" and he still pursued me. What can I do?

    Now don't get me wrong, if people want to pull at clubs that's fine, that's there call but I never ask for that kind of attention, i.e. I don't wear particularly tight or revealing clothing when I go out to get attention. I also don't drink, or drink that much, mostly because I had a horrible experience recently where my drink got spiked and I was dragged off to some guy's house.

    I always thought pulling or meeting someone should be a sub aim of the evening, not the focus to find anything that moves to f***. All I want is to be left alone. And if someone wants to ask me out or hell, even pull me, they can treat me in a respectable manner and not try and pull my skirt up in a club or touch me.

    Sorry about the rant. Anyone agree with me? Hell any advice? I really don't want to stop clubbing as I love it.
    I totally agree with you. I think it's terrible that guys these days have absolutely no manners. About your drink getting spiked, that sounds awful, how did that story go? What happened?
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    (Original post by Gardocki)
    Make a gay friend who likes dancing and get him to act like a boyfriend if people are approaching too often.
    That's what we do except my guy friend is straight...apparently.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think all of the girls in the club are getting the same sort of treatment as me. It's just my experience.
    You're going to the wrong clubs then.
    My girlfriend gets approached a lot by guys when we're clubbing, but you only seem to run into the confrontational ****erish sort at certain clubs (usually the cheaper, louder ones with less security).
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    (Original post by tinshed)
    don't dress like a slut. if you are there to have a good time with your friends wear no make up, jeans and a baggy t-shirt. otherwise don't complain. if you dress provocatively then you deserve what comes your way. it's as simple as that.
    Then I don't see the point in girls going clubbing if they are planning to dress this way. Part of the fun of going to clubs is the dress up... so dressing crappy would ruin the atmosphere.

    Going gay bars is probably the best solution.

    (Original post by Liam_G)
    Woah, you got you're drink spiked? That is serious... it's hard to believe how desperate and sad people can get.
    This is why mummy has always taught me to never finish a drink after leaving it.
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    thumb locks, wrist locks, pressure points for extreme cases I dont really know what to say because I could never imagine myself doing it and so wouldnt know how to get rid of myself. Its sad. All I can say were the situation were reversed I would tell them to **** off and if they didnt make them... then again Im over 6ft and have several years of training, so I could do that easily, you just have to find a way to make them **** off urself... 'I have aids so dont touch me', 'my bf is a serial killer'.
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    (Original post by Hamesh)
    Shut up. Your bore me.
    You might as well find another forum site, because i aint shutting up.
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    karate lessons.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon as I know people on here.

    I'm getting really sick of being treated like a piece of meat at clubs. Really sick of it. When I go to a club I don't go to pull, I go there to just chill out with my friends and dance a bit. I really love clubbing for that reason and don't want to stop going. But it seems that everytime I go out at the moment it turns into an unpleasant experience as I end up with loads of creeps following me, touching me, one guy even shoved his tongue down my throat without warning the other night. . . I always say "no" or "f*** off" or "I'm not interested" but still they pursue me, try to grind with me or something else.

    Guys just don't take "No" for an answer, even if you say it repeatedly. Hell I even had to slap a guy recently and scream, "GET OFF ME!" and he still pursued me. What can I do?

    Now don't get me wrong, if people want to pull at clubs that's fine, that's there call but I never ask for that kind of attention, i.e. I don't wear particularly tight or revealing clothing when I go out to get attention. I also don't drink, or drink that much, mostly because I had a horrible experience recently where my drink got spiked and I was dragged off to some guy's house.

    I always thought pulling or meeting someone should be a sub aim of the evening, not the focus to find anything that moves to f***. All I want is to be left alone. And if someone wants to ask me out or hell, even pull me, they can treat me in a respectable manner and not try and pull my skirt up in a club or touch me.

    Sorry about the rant. Anyone agree with me? Hell any advice? I really don't want to stop clubbing as I love it.
    I get this sometimes as well. If people slap my arse, then I get their face to match it as well, return the favour. It's not pleasant and people mean it as a compliment and it's just not.
    Backhand them :sexface:
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    That sounds awful!

    It's sad that women have to dress a certain way in order to stop what would constitute sexual harassment in any other environment. Regardless of how provocatively someone is dressed, no means no!

    This isn't your fault, it's a deeper issue that lies within society. Clubs are essentially meat markets for both men and women. You say you enjoy dancing and the music, could you go to gigs instead in the stands?
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    This is the problem
    if we allow people to consume alcohol, which intoxicates them, gives them tremendous headaches the day after, and allows them not to treat either member of the opposite sex in a respectable and dignified manner it will carry on

    See, i see you like your friends, and want to have fun and cherish your moments, but , clubs aren't a good place to be. You have druggists, alcoholics, perverts, seriously, there are so many low lifes.

    Women should be respected and treated with dignity, yes, a woman is made for a man, BUT, if you do not have restrictions enabling the dignity of both men and women, you will get many like you.
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    (Original post by hannahlouise25)
    This made me feel physically sick...Why on earth should we have to wear 'no makeup and a baggy tshirt' just so we don't get sexually assaulted?! It's up to me who I choose to let touch me and no I don't dress like a slut when I go out, but I wear dresses and makeup but that doesn't not mean that I am giving the green light to every man in a club to touch me however they want to. If a Gay guy came up and started touching these straight men in the same way they feel it is acceptable to do to us they would hit the roof. So how men can think it's acceptable to act this way towards women is unfathomable to me.

    OP I totally agree with you, last week I told his guy 4 times to leave me alone, and he still ignored me. I then physcially pushed him away, and all he did was move onto my best friend! It's utterly disgusting and it has reached a level where the only way I feel comfortable going out is with my male friends. But I don't see why this should be the case!

    I had a very similar rant to the one you posted in my tutorial on feminism two weeks ago and all the males in the room looked terrified by then end!

    I don't know what it's like where you live, but I know that in most of the clubs in Belfast they have bouncers around the dancefloor, and telling them usually results in the guy in question being removed from the club. Also me and my friends always try and dance where there is more space, i.e. near the edge/front of the dancefloor which reduces the number of 'sorry just need to squeeze past you and while I'm at it I may grope you' incidents! I respect a man if he comes over and talks to me while at the bar, or asks me if I want to dance with him or even comes over and asks me if I want a drink, because that gives me the chance to accept or decline. But anything where women don't have a choice is not okay!

    And ignore the 'wear a paper bag over your face and a sack because otherwise men can't help themselves' comments you should be able to wear whatever you want wheverver you want and not be intimidated or assaulted. If men can stop themselves from molesting me in a club then I can#t stop myself from kneeing them in the balls when they come up to me Now I feel much better about the impending nigth out tonight so thank you! haha
    Thank you so much! Unlike some of these other idiots you actally seem to get it!

    I think people should be able to go out in whatever they want and not be disrespected, also anyone who has actually read my original post would see that I don't actually wear slutty clothes, but still I should be able to wear what I want not have to think as to attract the wrong kind of attention.
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    (Original post by MrMoonmunch)
    karate lessons.
    I realise I could be starting a new thing here and so Im going to moderate myself: It doesnt have to be karate as other arts are equally good (imo better)
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    (Original post by lovely_me)
    That sounds awful!

    It's sad that women have to dress a certain way in order to stop what would constitute sexual harassment in any other environment. Regardless of how provocatively someone is dressed, no means no!

    This isn't your fault, it's a deeper issue that lies within society. Clubs are essentially meat markets for both men and women. You say you enjoy dancing and the music, could you go to gigs instead in the stands?
    I'm disgusted clubs actually exist...
    And it would be her fault if she dressed provocatively
    i mean what is your intention when you ignore your morals, remove your shame and dignity, and show flesh?
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    I feel sorry this happens to you=/
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    Dress up like a man and grow facial hair
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    When I go to a club I expect to be harassed. When I go to bars I don't.

    Change location, have loads of guy/girl mates around you or just deal with it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much! Unlike some of these other idiots you actally seem to get it!

    I think people should be able to go out in whatever they want and not be disrespected, also anyone who has actually read my original post would see that I don't actually wear slutty clothes, but still I should be able to wear what I want not have to think as to attract the wrong kind of attention.
    Men are attracted to women
    dress provocatively, and you will attract the wrong attention
    i mean, even if you dress 'modestly' and go to such places, it still won't be good.
    You have an answer, find a new place you and your friends can go to...
    one where people aren't intoxicated by alcohol, leave the room smelling disgusting, lose all sense of shame and morals, and are godless.
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    (Original post by sixthformer)
    This is the problem
    if we allow people to consume alcohol, which intoxicates them, gives them tremendous headaches the day after, and allows them not to treat either member of the opposite sex in a respectable and dignified manner it will carry on

    See, i see you like your friends, and want to have fun and cherish your moments, but , clubs aren't a good place to be. You have druggists, alcoholics, perverts, seriously, there are so many low lifes.

    Women should be respected and treated with dignity, yes, a woman is made for a man, BUT, if you do not have restrictions enabling the dignity of both men and women, you will get many like you.
    Oh sod off :rolleyes:

    You want to ruin everyone's fun because of a small minority of total *****?
 
 
 
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